Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Force of Destiny ❯ Interlude: Yuki ( Chapter 18 )

Okay, thanks again to all my reviewers! Sorry it took me so long to update (I've had these chappies done for a while now), but you know how it is when you actually get a vacation...I spend all my free time reading fics instead of writing them, like I should.

Broke this chapter up into 2 parts because of the POV change. I was only going to post this section, but since I've never taken so long to update, I decided to be nice. Here are the review responses:

koliverkreft: Thank you so much for not only telling me you like this, but what you like about it! I'm afraid it's not as popular as I might have hoped, but if even one reader sticks with me, I'm ecstatic. What do you mean by 'typos'? Do you mean plain old clumsy typing fingers (I get typing so fast sometimes that my fingers fall behind my mind), or spelling/grammar errors? Could you give me an example so I can work on it? Thanks!

Ssjgoddesschico: Ah, Akito. He has no idea what I have in store for him. Don't worry, though, he'll be enjoying himself for a while before things really start getting crazy!

AnGeL: *blushing furiously* Wow! You give the BEST reviews! *bows humbly* I was so worried that no one would like that chapter--I've never posted a citrus scene before, and was actually rethinking my Shigure fic because of how damn sexy he is in it...*stares dreamily off into space* hmmmm...Shi-kun...*shakes head* Ah! Where was I? Oh, right! Lemons! But now, I have more confidence. I wanted to strike the proper balance for Yuki: more sensual than out-and-out sexy (but who can say Yuki's not sexy?). I'm glad it seems to have worked! BTW, thank you for letting me steal Ha-san away for a night of *cough, blush* 'research'. I'll make sure to give advance notice in future if I need to borrow him again. Right now, though, I'm completely tied up with Shi-kun. No. I mean it--we're tied up. Small light bondage accident...damn Ha-san and his ideas! HELP! *whispers in mortification* Shigure! Stop that! Not in front of the reviewers! *giggles, squirms* Shi-kun! Stop! That tickles! Ahem! I really must be going...this offers too many opportunities for exploration...All in the name of research!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. I do own a man's yukata. If he wants it back, he's going to have to come back over to my place---it will be waiting in my bed...and so will I....

Chapter 18: Interlude-Yuki

"Yuki, please," I beg, finally raising tear-stained eyes to his, letting him see just how important this is to me, how desperate I am to halt this before I cannot let go. I feel as if my heart is being torn out of my chest as I watch him struggle to come to terms with my statements, my supplication. He is balanced on that razor-sharp edge between doubt and capitulation, the war playing out clearly in his beautiful, expressive eyes. I give him that final nudge, for my own sanity's sake, "Just for now, just for tonight." A compromise, a promise I cannot afford to keep.

It is all that he needs to hear, and I let out a sigh of relief and offer up a silent prayer of gratitude and repentance. Yuki's face relaxes, but his gaze still retains a spark of defiance. Oh, well, I didn't anticipate winning any battle against him would be easy; Yuki may be quiet and calm most of the time, but his cool exterior hides a will of steel. Fortunately for me, I am in possession of an equally rigid spine.

Yuki needed to understand how important this is to me, to us. He MUST understand.

He deserves a choice.

And I plan to give him that choice--tonight.

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In the end I relented. I could see how important this one concession was to her, so, against my better judgement, I backed down. After exchanging a few more kisses--sweet and gentle in the aftermath of our loving--I left her to wash quickly in peace. I really wanted to stay in there with her, join her under the spray of hot water, run my hands, slick with soap, over her alabaster skin, then sink into steaming water, but she would have none of it. I had promised, she reminded me. I had promised I would give her tonight. And so I would. But, by the gods, this would be the only night of solitude she would get from me. She is mine. My heart has claimed her. And I am hers. We belong to each other, and if what just transpired between us--what has been going on between us since two seconds after her she first landed on me and opened those liquid hazel eyes--didn't convince her, then I would damn well find out what would. If I have to tear into Akito with my bare hands to get him to release Kaji, her sister, and me, then I will do it. It is something I was prepared to do for Tohru, and it only serves to emphasize the depth and surety of my budding feelings for my fiery miko that I am willing to face the man who terrorized me for so many years for her, as well. Tohru. Ah, now there's a stumbling block, but I have hope that we are on the way to overcoming it. Kaji seemed to accept the truth of my assertion that Tohru, though always occupying that special place in my heart as my first love, is firmly in my past. Kaji is my future, if she will let me. I think I will get the chance to prove it to her tonight.

Tonight. I feel my shoulders begin to tense again. Though, against all my wildest hopes and dreams, I am over the moon that I have been able to find love--or the beginnings of love anyway--so soon after losing the one person who made my life into something worthwhile, I cannot dislodge the feeling of nervous foreboding hanging over my head like a dark cloud. I try to shake it loose, as I know it is Akito's aim that I be depressed, apprehensive, fearful of what tonight's dinner will hold, but I can't. I do feel all of those things, though not to the degree the Juunishi master would hope. All due to Kaji, I have no doubt.

My thoughts keep returning to her as I make my way to another part of the house, where a secondary bath is located. Her wild, coppery tresses, flaring around her in a nimbus of fire as she threw her head back in wanton abandon...the pale, slender column of her throat, her round, pert--well, this train of thought is getting me absolutely nowhere. Or, nowhere I want to be without Kaji around to witness. I can't help it, however, and my mind, encouraged by my recently-satiated body, returns to reliving the passion and release of our encounter.

I frown. With thoughts of the bathing room comes the recollection of the state I found Kaji in; curled up in a ball, attempting to scrub the skin off her body, whispering brokenly of how she would never be clean of Akito's vile touch. I hear a strange crunching sound and realize it is my teeth grinding together. She had seemed so strong in my room while the demon touched and taunted her, so in control of her feelings--as if she had truly managed to overcome her fear and disgust at what Akito has obviously done to her many times in the past. A huge wave of guilt and self-disgust rises in my chest, threatening to engulf me, drowning any residual traces of tenderness and passion. What must Kaji think of me now? She turned to me for comfort, showed her trust in me, and I exploited that vulnerability to slake my own passions on her. Self-loathing drowns out the voices of reason that insist Kaji did not resist, did not utter one word of protest, that she was, in fact, a willing and active participant. Am I no different than Akito, waiting for a moment of weakness to pounce and satiate my own selfish desires? Certainly I was not violent or cruel of forceful, but I still got what I wanted without really stopping to ask Kaji what she wanted. Am I a monster, too?

After a few moments of near-panic, I relax and the tide of self-recrimination recedes. Only calm certainty remains now--the surety that what happened minutes ago was one of the most beautiful, life-affirming, hope-inspiring events of my entire life. It was also one of the sexiest, most mind-numbingly passionate experiences I could ever imagine (not that I have much basis for comparison, but I did live with Shigure for years). Did I really think, despite Hatori's sound advice, that I could separate myself from her? How could I have believed, even for the barest instant, that I would possess the ability to deny my feelings for her? I think I'm in love. As the realization explodes, sudden and fully-formed, and sinks in to my still-hazy brain, I feel a goofy grin tug at my lips, spreading across my face in an expression that stupid cat would no doubt laugh his ass off to witness. He might yet, unless I manage to get my emotions under some semblance of the control I am so famous for. My emotional broadcasting could not only prove embarrassing, it could be dangerous. But I feel as if I could take flight at any moment! I know that Kaji still has her doubts, but she has not outright pushed me away, so I am confident that, after I give her tonight--as promised--I will be able to convince her we belong together. I will make her believe in our own 'happily ever after', make her forget about Akito and Tohru, curses and pain and suffering. We will conquer all obstacles placed in our path, together.

With a much lighter step, I continue my way back to my room, having quickly washed and toweled off in a dreamy, oblivious haze of recollection and pondering. I slow my steps as I pass the bathing room that has occupied my thoughts, hoping she is perhaps still in there. My fertile, vivid imagination weaves fantasies of Kaji, naked and wet, pale skin glowing rosy from the heat of the hot water she is soaking in...graphic details are filled in by my recently, oh-so-pleasurably acquired intimate knowledge of her body--luscious curves, willowy lines...I groan in pleasure/pain as my body responds to the visuals racing through my passion-soaked imagination. Is this how Shigure feels all of the time? Something close to compassion flits across the surface of my emotions, creating a wry twist to my lips as the irony briefly touches me.

Shaking off the humor, I again quicken my pace, eager to get back to my room, hoping against hope that Kaji will perhaps be waiting there for me, but knowing she will not. And, as much as I want to seek her out, if only to hold her, apologize for my uncontrollable act of passion, tell her again I have no regrets, stroke her smooth skin, tangle my fingers through her thick waves of hair and tell her everything in my heart--I know I will not break my promise. I will give her this time without complaint, but as soon as midnight rolls around I plan to be silently stalking the halls, opening every door along the way to find her, if I must. Together, we will find a way to save her sister and, once that monumental task is accomplished, I will lay her down and make love to her for as long as our strength lasts.

Reaching the door to my own room, I hesitate, my hand poised on the sliding panel, suddenly apprehensive of who or what I will find on the other side. Taking a deep, fortifying breath, I sweep the fusuma open and step in to face--an empty room. Letting out the breath I had been unconsciously holding in a sigh that expresses both disappointment and relief, I settle down on my futon for a few hours of sleep. Or, if sleep will not come, for some time to think out how best to deal with tonight's upcoming ordeal.

I have no doubts Akito will do his utmost to make the experience as hellish as possible. The thought should have me tense and nervous, drowning out all pleasant thoughts. Instead, my mind is filled only with speculation and remembrance--but not of the girl who opened my heart to the beauty of the world, the girl from whose mind my very existence was erased. In her place, a fire-eyed and strangely vulnerable beauty named Kaji occupies my heart; the powerful woman who turned to me for comfort, and shattered in my arms in joyous passion. The graceful beauty I want to protect from every harsh reality in existence, for whom I would do almost anything to bring happiness.

However, instead of formulating a plan of action--a strategy--for tonight's battle with Akito, I drift off to sleep with a love-sick grin on my face. My last thought before sleep claims my wonderfully tired body is that I have never been happier.

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Yuki: What the hell do you have me saying?! I sound like some sappy moron!

TT: Well, I thought it was beautifully romantic--how your heart has begun to heal from the sudden love you have found. And sometimes you can be a sappy moron. It's part of your charm.

Yuki: And why does that damn cat get Tohru? I was the first one to tell her I love her! I should be having sex with Tohru, not some red-headed freak with weird powers! Let Kyou have her, or Shigure!

TT: Watch it, mouse, or I'll make you have sex with Akito--and ENJOY IT! *grumble grumble* At least Shigure knows how to give proper gratitude when he gets some. *dreamy sigh*

Yuki: *gulp* Well now, let's not be hasty. Kaji has good points. She's beautiful, and smart, and has just as many angsty issues as I do...

TT: Damn straight. Besides, I didn't hear any complaints when you were getting some!

Yuki: *spaces out with goofy grin* Ummm...yeah...now that you mention it, there are certain advantages to Kaji...

TT: *edging away from Yuki after seeing his lap* Well then...I guess I'll be leaving you to your th-thoughts...

Yuki: *comes out of his daze and looks at TT with a predatory gleam in his eye* Since this is your fault, you had better do something about it! *grins ferally and lunges at TT*

TT: Gotta go! I've got more chapters to write, and you won't be getting any more unless I write them! *dodges Yuki*

Yuki: But I won't need any more citrus scenes if I have you, right? *lunges again*

TT: I'm already taken! *dodges another lunge* You're too young for me! *ducks behind a chair* I thought you only wanted to be friends?! *dashes out of the room* Ja, ne! Don't forget to review!

Yuki: The more you review, the faster this story will get written! Oh! And push the button! *leaps over chair and chases TT out of room with evil laugh* Come back here and fix my problem!