Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Fruits Basket Outtakes Pt.1 ❯ Fruits Basket Outtakes Pt.1 ( Chapter 1 )

Fruits Basket Outtakes Pt.1

[Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Fruits Basket and I more or less never will in this lifetime.]

Terri (Me): [Flops down into her director's chair only to have a strong pair of arms lock tightly around her waist] Huh? Wha-

Black Haru: [Nuzzles her affectionately] Hey there beautiful. How bout' coming back to my dressing room and letting me give you your own private little screen sho-

Kyo: [pulls Terri out of Black Haru's grip then just as soon pushes him back so that he falls backwards out of the director chair] Watch how you're talkin' idiot. These outtakes are rated PG-13 not R. [Continues to hold Terri who is now blushing madly]

Hiro: Kyo's right. Get a brain already moron.

Shigure and Aya: [singing off stage] Oh if I only had a brain… [The two are now dressed like the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz and are dancing around in circles with one another]

Conan (Director Terri's young assistant): Psst… she doesn't own the Wizard of Oz either so don't sue her ok?

Yuki: [walks up to stand at Kyo's side] What are those two bumbling fools up to now?

Kyo: Doing what they do best…being idiots.

Yuki: [Looks at Terri] You know, if those two fools are bothering you, I'd be more then happy to get rid of them.

Terri: …Thanks Yuki, but… I don't think that will be necessary.

Yuki: Oh and why is that?

Terri: Well take a look at that for instance. [Turns her head toward Shigure and Aya who are now getting chased around the stage by a herd of angry cows]

Yuki: I see. [Bows his head and sweat drops]

Shigure and Aya: Ahh! Somebody help!

Kyo: [Smirks] Man what I wouldn't give for a camera right now.

Terri: [Hands him a camera]

Akito: Um…can we get on with the outtakes already? This kimono is really starting to make me itch.

Terri: Sure thing Akito honey. [Pats his cheek lightly before turning to take her place in her director's chair] Ok everybody places please…

Episode 1

(Scene where Kyo breaks through Tohru's ceiling)

Yuki: I apologize for the smell. We had this room closed off for some time… It's probably best to keep the windows open for a while…

[The ceiling crashes through and Kyo appears down in front of Tohru]

Kyo: Yo. Time to pay the piper rat-boy. I'm here to collect.

Tohru: [raises a hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter] Kyo what are you wearing?

Kyo: [Looks down at his clothes and realizes he's wearing Tuxedo Mask's outfit] [FYI: I don't own Sailor Moon either]

Terri: Cut! Ok who stole Kyo's real clothes?

[Everyone looks toward Ayame who instantly turns away and starts to whistle innocently]

Kyo: Damn idiot! [Makes roses appear in his hands]

[Kyo chases after Aya, throwing the sharp stemmed roses at him as he did so]

Aya: Hey, hey take it easy Lucky Kyo. It was just a joke. Lighten up!

[Kyo backs Aya up in a corner then tosses a bunch of sharp stemmed roses at him… They all snag on Aya's clothes and thus pin him to the wall like a poster]

Kyo: [Walks up and gets in Aya's face] Don't quit your day job moron. [Flicks him in the nose then turns on his heel and stalks off toward his dressing room]

Terri: [Hangs her head and sweat drops] Lord help me….

Episode 2

(Scene where Tohru is trying to convince Yuki that she would never spill his family's secret)

Tohru: I'll swallow a thousand…

Yuki: [Hurries forward to trap Tohru against the wall] That's not what I meant. [Hangs his head] I'm sorry…

Tohru: Hmm?

Yuki: [Whispers]…Miss Tohru I think there's something crawling under my clothes.

Tohru: …Yuki…

Yuki: [pushes away suddenly and begins to wriggle and shake his body from side to side.]

Kyo/Haru/Shigure: Woo hoo you go Yuki! Shake it, shake it!

Yuki: [Tries to stop moving about but can't]

[Crewmembers start hooting and wolf whistling Yuki, who is now blushing like crazy]

Director: C-Cut! [Hold her head in her hand and begins to laugh hysterically] Run along Yuki before you make me bust a gut.

[Everyone continues to laugh and wolf whistle at Yuki as he runs off stage]

Episode 2 [Scene where Kyo and Shigure break up Tohru's and Yuki's quiet luncheon.]

Shigure: Stop! Kyo just listen to me!

Kyo: [Walks angrily away from him] I don't want to hear it! You think it's fun jerking me around like that?

Shigure: [Trailing after Kyo] Now hold on. It wasn't-

[A dust cloud of FB fan girls rush onto the set and close in on Shigure and Kyo. The sound of clothes being ripped off can be heard]

Kyo: Ahh… Stop! I really need those!

Shigure: Ooh… hey somebody's groping me. Kyo it better not be you.

Kyo: What!!!

[Kyo can be seen rising up out of the dust cloud strangling Shigure.]

Yuki: [Stands up and shouts to Kyo] Yo cat boy, he's already blacked out. Let him go.

Fan girl 1985: Ooh look it's that hunky prince Yuki.

Fan girl 1979: Yee hah! Come to momma stud muffin!

[The cloud of FB fan girls moves away from Kyo and Shigure and begins to rush towards Yuki]

Yuki: Oh great. [Turns and starts running] Look out everyone, it's a stampede!

Kyo: [Releases Shigure and runs over to pull Terri out of the stampeding girls way]

Director: [Huddles against Kyo's chest]

Kyo: Hey, you all right there?

Director: [Loops her arms tightly around his neck] I am now.

Kyo: [Laughs hesitantly as he lets himself be hugged]

[Catcalls and whistles sound from the rest of the cast and crew]

Kyo: [Bows his head to hide his reddened cheeks] Ah… Shut up already.

Ep.2

(Scene where Kyo jumps out of the school window)

[Instead of landing on the ground though he bounces off a trampoline]

Director: Cut! What the- where the heck did that trampoline come from?

Kyo: [Continues to bounce on the trampoline] Hey this is kinda cool! Weeee!!!!! [Begins to do somersaults and flips]

Director: Hey that looks fun! [Joins Kyo on the trampoline]

Kyo & Director: [Hold hands as they jump up and down] YEA… WOO HOO!!! YEAH!!!

Conan: [Looks towards the camera and sweatdrops] And here I thought I was the only kid on this set. Sheesh…

Ep. 3

(Scene where Tohru thinks there's a weirdo after her)

Tohru: W-What was that? [Hugs her bag close to her] Oh what if it's one of those weirdo's Shigure was talking about? [Shifts her eyes from side to side…. clearly getting frightened]

Kyo: [Swings down from one of the trees and sweeps Tohru against him. He's dressed in nothing but a leather loin cloth.] Me Tarzan …you Jane! [Jumps from tree branch to tree branch, chattering like a gorilla the whole time]

[Everyone including the Director and Conan break out into hysterical laughter.]

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Terri: Hey all sorry my first chapter's so short.

Shigure: Yea it would seem our lovely young author is having a small case of writer's block.

Terri: Yes and hopefully it won't last long. [Happily sips on her chocolate mocha latte]

Hatori: You know Terri… too much chocolate and caffeine isn't good for you. [Begins to slowly inch toward her] Now be a good girl and give that coffee here…

Terri: No! Get away! [Hugs her chocolate mocha close and begins to inch evasively away from the doctor.] It's my coffee do you hear me? Mine! [Laughs maniacally then turns and flees]

[Hatori can be seen running after her while the rest of the FB cast sweatdrop]

Conan: Anyway…Stay tuned folks. Terri is sure to come up with another chapter full of good stuff for you to laugh about later.

Akito: Indeed… so do our lady author a fond favor and review.