Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Fruits Basket Tales ❯ A Fruits Baskets Tale: The New Sohma ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the animes involved, nor am I the original creator of the Mary Sue featured. Also credit for Yuki's screen name goes Raberba Girl. ^_^ If you find that your Sue was lampooned here oh well it's your own fault for making me suffer through your stupidity.

A Fruits Basket Tale: The New Sohma

By Ariyana

It was a normal day around the Sohma house. Tohru had cooked a wonderful dinner and as usual Kyo picked a fight with Yuki only to lose. Yuki had had a long day. He still had some assignments to finish but he felt like rambling in his livejournal today. He logged on to his computer and signed in to his paid livejournal account as "princes_of_fools". He decided to check his friends list and see what they were ranting about today.

The first post came from "the_real_kagome" posted in "the_animated_life" community, which read:

"I can't believe this crap as if life isn't hard enough already. Every few days someone uploads a stupid Mary Sue into our story and expects me to just disappear. This last one was an android! =_=; I am really getting sick of these Mary Sues they are like a disease trying to ruin my life."

Yuki read this with slight dismay. It was only a matter of time before the next Mary Sue would come after him again. He didn't want to remember the last time. He shook off the chills he had given himself and checked the replies to her post.

"ranma_the_master" had responded first saying, "i'll bet it's cos you're all uncute, like someone i know." Yuki frowned at this. "ranma_the_master" was certainly the jerk of the community.

In response to "ranma_the_master", "tendouakane" wrote, "Ranma you jerk! No body asked your opinion! Leave Kagome alone!" and "god_of_death" who also replied to "ranma_the_master" wrote, "Kagome is plenty cute. Not that you could recognize cute."

In response to "god of death", "ranma_the_master" wrote, "why don't you go play with your boyfriends?" Yuki just shook his head. He knew that remark was going to cost "ranma_the_master" some points in the community, before Yuki could reply to Kagome's original post an AIM screen popped up.

TheRealKagome: Yuki-kun! *glomps*

PrinceOfFools: Hi Kagome-san, I just read your lj post.

TheRealKagome: T_T Stupid Mary Sues!

PrinceOfFools: So how did you get rid of this one?

TheRealKagome: I dismantled her before she could wreck havoc. I swear if I catch the person who is uploading these stupid Mary Sues, I'm going to kill them. >_<

PrinceOfFools: I'm sure you can find lots of help for that cause. I'm lucky it has been a few days since the last Mary Sue sighting.

TheRealKagome: Didn't the last one try to kill Tohru-chan or something?

PrinceOfFools: Don't remind me. =_= I have to go, I'll talk to you later.

TheRealKagome: Okay *hugs* Good night.

PrinceOfFools: Good night, Kagome-san.

Yuki smiled as he signed off of AIM. He decided to skip the journal entry and opted to finish his homework. The dark cloud of the next Mary Sue hovered over his head. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but he was worried that the next one would manage to get him killed or worse get Tohru killed instead. That night his dreams consisted of Mary Sues chasing him down an endless corridor.

The next day at school it was rather obvious that he hadn't had a good night's rest. He sat sleepily at his desk as the teacher walked in followed by a new student. Yuki was fully awake when he saw what looked like an American girl. "Oh no it can't be!" he thought desperately.

"Class we have a new transferred student. She is from the United States. This is Trinity Sohma," Mayuko-sensei announced.

A cold chill ran down Yuki's spine as he sweatdropped. "It is..." his thought trailed off. The girl giggled and smiled at the class. Yuki just sat in horror watching her. On the way to her desk she just happened to walk by an open window and like magic a breeze appeared and blew up her skirt. Yuki just slapped his forehead.

"What did I do to deserve this?" he thought grimly. He was thankful when she seemed to take a liking to Kyo. The girl was definitely turning on all her Mary sue charm. Yuki had become immune to the charms of Mary Sues every since the day his Fan club had come into being. If he could withstand those girls, there was no way a Mary Sue would charm him. The stupid cat on the other hand was becoming putty in her hands.

Yuki had to roll his eyes when the girl called Kyo honey and the stupid cat actually blushed. Obviously Kyo had learned nothing from the last Mary Sue who had tried to kill Tohru.

"Hey Prince, is that girl related to you?" Uotani asked in a hush tone.

"Heavens no, we don't have family in the United States." Yuki answered. He knew he had to act quickly lest she try to worm her way into the family. The Mary Sue before the last claimed to be the 14th member of the Zodiac. Only the girl was so inept that when she "transformed" it was not truly a transformation. The girl would hold up a pink teddy bear and act like she had turned into the bear. Yuki rubbed his temples just thinking about the string of Mary Sues he had to deal with in the past.

"Hey honey what's your name?" Trinity asked Yuki. Yuki cringed at the sound of her voice. He thought the sound of nails on a chalkboard might have sounded better. Yuki smiled politely.

"I'm Yuki Sohma, it's a pleasure to meet you Sohma-san." Yuki said trying to act normally. He wanted to run for his life and send up a SOS. Trinity frowned at Yuki's response. "Is something wrong, Sohma-san?" Yuki asked wishing he had back up.

"No, nothing's wrong," she answered giggling like a mule. Seriously she was beginning to annoy him and he needed to get rid of her and fast.

Yuki was walking to his Student council meeting when she cornered him. "Hello there Yuki-chan," she said smugly.

"Sohma-san."

"So it's true...I was warned about you," she said coldly.

"I'm not sure I know what you are talking about."

"You've been a constant wrench in our plans. You're too smart for you're own good. If you would just learn to accept us we could avoid all this unpleasantness," she said menacingly.

Yuki wasn't sure how to handle this one. He scolded himself for acting so normal around her. She had expected him to dote and act a fool over her. She had him cornered now. He wasn't sure if he should attack her or not. Suddenly she hit the ground with a thud. Yuki looked up to see Kyo holding a book.

"You damn Rat, how do you expect to throw the Mary Sues off your trail if you act like you normally do around them?"

Yuki was stunned Kyo had actually tricked the Mary Sue into thinking he was on her side. "What did you hit her with?"

"A dictionary, I don't think her creator has ever used one of those before, I could barely understand the notes she passed to me."