Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Golden Dreams ❯ The Illness and the Argument ( Chapter 16 )

Warning: OCC! There is a lot of character stretching in this chapter, but I think it fits with the plot.

 

 

Tohru was aware of the tall hansom male gracing her doorway, but not in time to stop herself from running into him and causing the inevitable `POOF!' as he changed into his zodiac form.

 

`Now this is embarrassing.' Hatori thought.

 

Tohru looked at her feet. “I'm so sorry…” she looked for the form of whom she expected to be Shigure standing amidst a pile of clothing “…Sh… I mean…” The clothes appeared to be empty. She noticed the tiny eight centimeter sea horse struggling to wiggle free of the collar. She sank to her knees. “HATORI! Oh GOD! I'm SOO sorry I didn't mean to, I mean…” She continued raving her apologies.

 

The sea horse sighed… as well as a sea horse can sigh at least… `All last week and this never happened once.'

 

POOF!!!

 

“EAK!!!” Tohru squeaked and quickly averted her eyes.

 

Hatori chuckled in spite of himself as he dressed himself quickly. `As many times as she's seen me naked by now.' His small laughter ended in a fit of coughing.

 

Tohru peeked over her shoulder to see Hatori doubled over on the floor trying to hack up a kidney or something. She rushed to his side. “Are you O.K.?” She asked.

 

He nodded, but sat sputtering for the next few moments. She timidly placed her hand on top of his. He welcomed her warm touch, but the war within him began to rage again. To tell her, not to tell her… `Tohru, I love you.' So easy. Should he release her into the world? Should he allow her to leave him, as had Kana; allow her to find someone better? Would his confession make any difference? His subconscious took over. He turned his hand and squeezed hers, lacing his fingers through her tiny tendrils. She returned his squeeze reassuringly. Her touch caused his stomach to flip, anxiety flooded through his veins as if in a shockwave. He finally cleared his throat, but refused to look up.

 

“I'm sorry.” He said. “Shigure sent me up to wake you.” There was a brief pause. “It also seems I left one of my jackets on your dressing table.”

 

“Oh, RIGHT!” Tohru chirped, hopping up and dashing across the room. She turned to see him stooping with his face in his hands. His eyes were shut tightly. She stood solemnly before him. “I'm serious Hatori, are you all right?” He peered down at her.

 

“I'll be fine, I've come down with a virus or something.”

 

Tohru blushed. “I guess that's probably my fault.”

 

Hatori shrugged. “It's no big deal. It's been going around.” He sighed and stood straight up, taking his jacket from her and groaning in pain.

 

“You need to take better care of yourself.” She commented, heading for the door.

 

He sighed. He was getting a little dizzy. “I'll be fine, I'm still young.”

 

Tohru stopped. Hatori nearly crashed into her. She looked away; sadness filled her deep eyes. She cocked her head, looking pensive. “My dad was twenty-four.” There was a pregnant silence. “Will you be staying for dinner?”

 

Hatori nodded. “If that's O.K. with you.”

 

“Of course it is, silly!” She answered cheerily.

 

He swallowed as they headed down the stairs. He ruined that moment with out a doubt. `Why can't I get anything right with her?' Tohru's life was racked with tragedy. She took it all in and bloomed amidst the piles of manure. `She truly is amazing.' He placed his hand on her shoulder as he followed her down. `I'll never be worthy of that strength.'

 

Shigure glanced hopefully at the two as they entered the room. `Stupid dragon!' He thought noting Hatori's obvious pain. He pitied him though. `He must be really tired to not even try to hide it. He really does look like shit.'

 

Tohru smiled brightly. “I'll get dinner ready.”

 

“Do you need any help?” Hatori asked.

 

Tohru glared at him. “I told you to take care you yourself. Sit down!”

 

“I… um… O.K.” He shrugged, backed up, and sat down.

 

His younger cousins snickered and coughed trying to contain their laughter.

 

Shigure didn't bother. As soon as Tohru cleared the doorway he burst into fits of laughter. Tears were streaming down his face.

 

“Gee Hatori.” Kyo mocked. “I didn't know you took orders so well.”

 

“You're the one to talk, stupid cat!” Yuki muttered. “You've followed her around like a lost kitten.”

 

“SO HAVE YOU!!!”

 

“I've been trying to get him to listen to me for years!” Shigure sputtered. “Do you think if I wore a dress like Tohru…?”

 

Hatori's icy glare caused the three of them to silence immediately. “You have worn a dress Shigure. Several times to be more accurate”

 

Yuki and Kyo looked like they were going to spew. “Keep his personal life out of this.” Kyo muttered. “That's disgusting.”

 

“Dinner's ready, guys!” Tohru called from the kitchen. She entered the room carrying the bowl of food. “I still need to get everyone's drinks, oh and the rice!”

 

Hatori followed her back into the kitchen to help. She climbed on the counter to get down an extra cup for Hatori. He instinctively walked next to her, ready to catch her if something were to go array. She looked down anxiously, trying to figure the best way down. Shigure watched as Hatori carefully scooped her off of the counter and set her gently on the floor. He noted how comfortable Tohru looked in his arms. Hatori smiled at her kindly.

 

`How sweet.' Shigure thought. “And he didn't even look up her skirt!” He added aloud.

 

“What?” Asked the younger two in unison.

 

Tohru and Hatori placed their respective items on the table and sat down. Conversation was relatively lively between the inhabitants of the house, but Hatori was silent. He pushed his food around on his plate idly listening to the goings on around him. `Hmm, Yuki and Kyo seem to be getting along better.' He thought as Yuki punched Kyo in the face. `He didn't send Kyo flying across the room.' He glanced at Tohru. She wasn't paying attention, which was fine by him; the less Tohru looked at him right now the better.

 

Tohru was paying attention though. She noticed just how little Hatori was actually eating. `I hope it tastes O.K.' she thought. Her mind wandered as she carried on menial conversation with her housemates. `Oh, no… I hope he isn't mad at me. I was kind of mean to him earlier, but I was just worried…' She began to fret. `I guess I'll have to apologize later. I hope he doesn't think I'm mad at him for last week.' She glanced at Hatori. He looked miserable as he chased the little shrimps on his plate around with his chopsticks.

 

Hatori looked apologetically around the table and stood quickly. “Excuse me.” He mumbled and briskly walked to the bathroom.

 

Tohru and Shigure followed, but Hatori had locked the door behind him. “A key!” Shigure exclaimed as he hurried upstairs.

 

Once safely locked in the bathroom, Hatori knelt before his porcelain god and prayed. Actually, he threw up, but he did so as quietly as possible so as to not disturb Tohru, whom he knew was standing outside the door waiting. He started to dry heave. The putrid acid was burning his throat. He flushed, assuming he was finished as his stomach continued to try to empty what wasn't in it. He rinsed out his mouth. The water was ice cold as it flowed from the spurting faucet into his mouth and down his chin.

 

“Hatori, are you O.K.?” Tohru called.

 

“Yes, Thank you though.” His voice was dry and strained. Speaking caused him to cough, which sent him into another round of dry heaving.

 

Tohru heard him choke. `Shigure, hurry up!' She pleaded. “Can I come in?” She asked. No reply, she rattled the door impatiently. Shigure finally appeared with the key. They opened the door to Hatori leaning over the sink washing his hands. Yuki and Kyo appeared in the doorway.

 

He smiled as best as he could. “No need to worry.” He assured them. “I'm fine.”

 

“You don't look fine.” Yuki commented.

 

“Well put.” Shigure added.

 

“Well, I am fine. Or at least I have to be. I need to be back at the main house tomorrow to check on Akito.”

 

“Oh, let him die.” Yuki muttered under his breath, earning a snicker from Kyo.

 

Hatori stood. The world spun before him; he decided it would be best to take a seat on the toilet. That however, must not have gone as planned, because the next thing he knew he was lying on his back with Tohru and Shigure bent over him. The other two were close behind.

 

“Oh Hatori, you aren't O.K.” Tohru said with a worried scold.

 

“I think we'll be fine boys,” Shigure said to his younger cousins. “Why don't we give Hatori some room to breathe? You two can finish eating if you want.”

 

Something about the way Tohru was leaning over him was driving him insane. She touched his forehead with her cheek.

 

“He's burning up, we've got to get this fever down.” She cried.

 

Her touch. Her sweet touch. `God, she smells good.' Hatori thought. He was aware of her breasts rubbing over him as she tried to free him from his suit jacket. He tried to say something, but it came out in incoherent, disconnected syllables.

 

“Should we give him a bath?” She asked Shigure, remembering her own treatment.

 

“Sure.” He replied.

 

Hatori was finding the nearness of Tohru to be intoxicating. She stood to get towels, and he saw up her skirt. Her round thighs were so delicious. He grabbed her ankle, unsure of what was going on, and shook his head, pleading her to stay. She knelt back down beside him.

 

“It's O.K., Hatori. What's wrong?” She asked soothingly.

 

Hot tears stung the corners of Hatori's eyes. He pulled her close to him and began to place a trail of kisses down her neck, mumbling nonsense as he descended. Tohru looked pleadingly at Shigure as he backed for the door.

 

“What should I do?” She asked. She was trying not to reveal she and Hatori's secret, but was having a rather hard time with Hatori's feverish behavior.

 

Shigure shrugged. “Give him the bath and see if his fever comes down. If it does he ought to start acting sensible again.” He smiled at Tohru and began to run the water in the tub. “You'll be fine.” He shut the door behind him.

 

“Wait, what was he doing to her?” Tohru heard Kyo ask.

 

She also heard Shigure's muffled response. “Oh, he's acting wacky because of his fever. He'll come to soon.” The door shook. “Don't worry, he's harmless.” `For now!' Shigure added in his head.

 

Hatori was pressing his hot face against Tohru's neck. She could feel his tears caressing her skin. She pulled away from him; he reached for her, trying desperately to hold on. `This is going to be difficult.' She thought. She straddled him, struggling to undress him. He kept trying to sit up and capture her lips. “Ahh. Shigure help!” She called. No answer. Finally, she got him undressed and modestly wrapped in a towel, just as he had done for her. Getting him into the tub was no easy feat either. Tohru tried to solicit help from Shigure, but Hatori would throw a fit every time she tried to stand and leave. She put her hands on her hips and huffed. “You, of all people!” Somehow, she managed to get him into the tepid water without having him transform. She sighed as she sunk to the floor. Hatori quit mumbling around like an idiot as he sunk into the water. Tohru steadied him to prevent him from drowning. She lifted his chin. His eyes fluttered, but he wasn't cognizant of what was going on.

 

Shigure peeked through the door. “Is everything O.K. in here?” He asked.

 

`Now you ask!' She thought. “I think so.”

 

He knelt on the floor next to Tohru, feeling Hatori's forehead as he went. “Hmm, he feels a little cooler.” He muttered. “I wish he'd take care of himself a little.”

 

“Well, that's what we're here for!” She said brightly. She cast a worried look Hatori's direction.

 

Shigure smiled and stood. “Well, I think I'll let him be alone with you when he wakes up.”

 

Tohru blushed. He smiled knowingly and slipped silently out the door. Tohru closed her eyes and sighed. She streamed lukewarm water over his face. Finally Hatori stirred. His eyes opened into Tohru's worried vise. She smiled softly.

 

“Are you in there?” She asked.

 

Hatori nodded. His head was pounding. His fever was still affecting him. He didn't care what the ramifications were, closing his eyes, he grabbed the hand that steadied his body and laced his long fingers through hers. He squeezed her hand, waiting for her reassuring answer. He smiled when it came. Tohru leaned over the tub and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. He snuggled into her neck. Her touch, her skin, her smell, her presence, he'd been waiting for it all week. “Thank you.” He whispered into her ear, kissing it softly. Utter bliss.

 

Tohru's heart echoed within her chest cavity. This brief union was bittersweet, a mere tease of her most hidden desires. She longed to hold him and kiss him, but he was not hers to love. The ball was in his court, so to speak. She had to behave as promised, no matter how much it devoured her internally. `Be strong.' She thought as tears began to glaze her eyes. “I'm glad I get to take care of you.” She pulled away from his grasp. “Consider it my thank you.”

 

He knotted his wet fingers in the back of her hair and pulled her to him. He kissed her gently, yet invoked the passion he had been hiding all week. `I love you so much.' He thought. He tried to sit up. Dizzily, he crashed back into the tub.

 

Tohru jumped. “Are you O.K.?” She asked.

 

Hatori nodded. “Dizzy.” He held her face in his hand, gently thumbing her lips. He could see her tears as she struggled to contain them. They matched his own. “I'm so sorry.” He whispered. He pulled her close to him, pressing the side of his face against her bosom. Closest thing to a hug… “I'd like to get out.” He said after a moment.

 

Tohru nodded. “I'll get something for you to wear.” She hurried out of the door.

 

Hatori sighed. He was beginning to regret being so near to her. He only wanted what was best for her. `That probably isn't me.' “Why do I have to love you so much?” He whispered, quietly banging his head against the wall.

 

Hatori managed to get himself out of the tub and wrapped in dry towels by the time Tohru returned with his pajamas. He was seated on the floor, his long legs sprawled out across the cold tiles. She smiled. He looked so goofy.

 

“Tohru, I…” He started, like always. Sighing, he continued. “I really am sorry.” He looked up into her eyes. “I just… care about you so much. I never wanted to hurt you.”

 

She bit her lip and knelt before him. “I meant what I said. I don't regret anything.”

 

She kissed his cheek and tried to stand. He caught her and held her close to him momentarily. `Why can't I just tell her how I feel?' He asked himself. `I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU! It should be so easy.'

 

He didn't tell her how he felt that evening. And he didn't even tell her over the course of the next couple of days as she and Shigure nursed him back to health. It didn't help that Shigure was constantly listening to their every exchange from the other side of the wall.

 

It was early afternoon on the day he was planning to leave. Shigure brought him some tea and his cold medicine. Hatori was packing up his things; he turned as the door opened.

 

“It's too early for her to be home from school yet.” Shigure commented, noting the dragon's disappointment.

 

Hatori smirked and sat on the futon to take his medicine. “Thanks.” He said to his cousin. “I'm not completely invalid though, I could have gotten it myself.”

 

“I'm glad you're feeling better.” Shigure said.

 

Hatori nodded. “Me too. I haven't been that sick in a long time.”

 

“Well if you took care of yourself…”

 

Hatori interrupted him. “I've gotten enough lectures between you and Tohru, I know how to take care of myself.”

 

“And yet you don't.” Shigure huffed. “You get into this self-deprecating cycle. You smoke too much, you don't eat, you don't sleep… You're just asking to catch something!”

 

Hatori gaped at his cousin. It wasn't often he raised his voice. He was manipulative, not argumentative. “Well, what am I supposed to do?” He hissed.

 

“Oh, I don't know.” Shigure mocked. “Maybe get over yourself, quit playing the tragic hero you are SO good at embodying, and maybe, just MAYBE tell a certain someone how you feel about her!” He paused. His eyes were cold. “Or are you going to go home and fall back into the same self destructive behavior until next time you end up in the hospital or something? Or until you kill yourself, maybe?” Shigure sighed and paced around the room. “I don't know, Hatori, you tell me. What gives? Why are you so opposed to being happy?”

 

“I just want what's best for her!” Hatori snapped.

 

“And you know what that is?!?” Shigure retorted. “You don't even know what's best for you, how can you make those judgments for other people?!?”

 

“How do YOU know what's best for her?!? All I see is you USING her!”

 

“I know what would make her happy! Any idiot can see that!”

 

Hatori took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It had been a long time since he had really wanted to wring his cousin's neck. “I love her. I FUCKING love her! But all I want is to see her happy. I can't justify getting close to someone and having them get ripped to pieces by this fucked up thing we call our family!” His voice cracked. “It would be better for her if she loved someone else. She… deserves better.”

 

Shigure sighed and shook his head. “You just don't get it, do you? What she wants, what would make her happier than anything in the world, is you. You're just to thick to see it.”

 

“But…”

 

“No.” Shigure cut in. “No buts. She's a big girl, she can make her own decisions. So don't try to sneak in and protect her. She's fully capable of protecting herself.”

 

Noise downstairs cut their conversation short. “Don't be an ass, Hatori.” Shigure hissed and slammed the door behind him. He went downstairs to greet the adolescent arrivals.

 

 

AN: Almost done, I promise!!! I didn't mean to make it this long… oops! But I just kept coming up with new ideas! I'll sum it up soon!