Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Hatori's Vacation ❯ The Lampost, The Ring, And Godzilla ( Chapter 3 )

Hatori's Vacation

By, Jamie1317kast

 

Imagine this; Shigure wearing Hobbit clothes, Ayame with the One Ring, and Hatori as the only person who reads Western Literature to tell them where they are.

 

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is copyrighted to Natsuki Takaya, not me. Neither do I own any of the places that they drop into, that are obviously not mine. I do NOT own:

~ The Man Who Would Be King (Ruyard Kipling, who owns himself.)

~ Godzilla

~ Finding Nemo ( even though Hatori's speaking Godzillian and not Whale.)

~ Lord Of The Rings ( Tolkien)

~ Tarzan

~ Elijah Wood ( who owns himself.)

~ and last, but not least, The Cronicles Of Narnia ( C. S. Lewis)

 

AN~ well, like it so far? This is a pretty crazy fic, and I think this is the wackiest chapter so far. Please read and review, how else am I supposed to know if you want me to write more? And, if you do review, suggestions for where they can go next would be helpful too. Enjoy!

 

Rated R just because it's Shigure and Aya in the same fic.

 

The Lampost, The Ring, And Godzilla:

 

* As Hatori and Shigure swam after Ayame and his seahorse captors, they argued with eachother across the ocean water*

 

Hatori: what do you mean, 'become their God'? are you insane?

 

Shigure: of course I am, but you already knew that.

 

Hatori: right. But I thought you didn't read Western Literature.

 

Shigure: not as much as you do.

 

Hatori: and besides, you wouldn't even recodnize Ruyard Kipling if he spit on you feet.

 

Shigure: who's Ru-

 

Hatori: never mind.

 

*suddenly, the ocean began to swell before them. Hatori and Shigure stop swimming.*

 

Hatori: cling onto me like that again, and I'll let you drown.

 

Shigure: Ha'ri, what is that thing?

 

* they watch as a monstrous scaley head emerges from the water*

 

Hatori: it's Godzilla.

 

Shigure: * looks like he's going to faint* oh, God…we're going to die.

 

Hatori: * gets a determined look on his face* not if I can help it.

 

Shigure: oh, really now?

 

Hatori: yes, I can speak the language of all sea creatures. Including Godzillian.

 

Shigure: *snort, laugh*

 

Hatori: or..i could just let him eat you.

 

Shigure: my hero!

 

Hatori: right. * turns to Godzilla* * starts speaking Godzillian* ouwwwarrrrrrr cccccccccccomaaaaniiiiiiion hauzz beiennn taikeeen frooum uoassss. (* Our companion has been taken from us.)

 

Shigure: I can't decide whether to die from shock or laughter.

 

Hatori: shut up.

 

* Godzilla reaches out a long arm and when his arm comes back around, he has Ayame in his hand. Who is, of course, unconcious from shock. Then, Godzilla picks up Hatori and Shigure from the water.*

 

Shigure: oh Gods, we're going to die!

 

Hatori: idiot. * grumble*

 

Shigure: Ha'ri!

 

Hatori: what now?

 

Shigure: see if your cell phone has reception!

 

Hatori: * takes out his cell phone, shaking off a seahorse or two, and flips it open* no good, it's too wet.

 

Shigure: wait! I have an idea.

 

Hatori: that's a first.

 

Shigure: oh, be quiet Ha'ri. * he takes out his Plot Device, which works in spite of being wet.* we'll use this to get home! * triumphant smirk*

 

Hatori: I don't trust that thing.

 

Shigure: why not?

 

Hatori: never mind, just take us home!

 

Shigure: right.

 

*bloop*

 

~~~

 

*bloop*

 

* Hatori and Ayame awaken on the shores of a small, lazy river. Lush green forest surronded them, and birds called in the distance. Shigure is no where to be seen.*

 

Ayame: where are we now?

 

Hatori: I don't know, but keep your guard up. I suspect that we won't be welcome here.

 

Ayame: what makes you say tha- oo! Shiny! * Ayame bends down, picking up a small gold object from the ground.*

 

Hatori: oh shit. Aya, put it down before you hurt yourself.

 

Ayame: but why? * holds the ring up to his eye to inspect it's quality.* you don't find rings this well made back home, who do you think it belongs to Ha'ri? Ha'ri?

 

Hatori: * thumping his head against a tree, talking to himself.* we're screwed, we're screwed, we're screwed.

 

* suddenly, out of no where, Shigure comes swinging down on a tree vine in the nude.*

 

Shigure: AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWAWWWWWWWAWAWWWWWAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWAAAAAOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHIIII IIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!! * he crashes into a tree*

* THUMP* owie..

 

Hatori: Shigure, what in the world happened to your clothes? * covers his eyes*

 

Shigure: well Ha'ri, there's a funny story behind that, actualy. You see, when I woke up, there were all these beautiful women…

 

Hatori: oh..God.

 

Shigure: ..and… they stole my clothes. But! I ran away before they could unjustly molest my naked body. * sniffle*

 

Hatori: well, it can't be helped. If you wouldn't mind knocking Aya out, and throwing his Precious back into the Auduin River, I'll go look for some extra clothes for you.

 

Shigure: wait. The Auduin?

 

Hatori: that's right.

 

Shigure: but-

 

Hatori: exactly.

 

Shigure: you mean I ran away from the chance to be molested and raped by sexXy ELF WOMEN?!

 

Hatori: that's what I'm trying to tell you. * nod, nod*

 

Shigure: excuse me while I go hang myself…* Ritsu-like pose*

 

Hatori: * grabs his collar* get back here.

 

* so, Shigure knocks Aya out and then throws the One Ring back into the river*

 

Shigure: some things, were just never meant to be.

 

* Hatori returns with Hobbit-folk clothes for Shigure*

 

Shigure: I have to wear THOSE?

 

Hatori: yes.

 

Shigure: but! But!

 

Hatori: no buts.

 

Shigure: but! I'm cuter than Elijah Wood, and besides! * sticks his nose in the air* I DON'T have hairy toes.

 

Hatori: wanna bet?

 

Shigure: um, no..

 

* suddenly, a high-pitched shriek pierces the air.*

 

Ayame: * wakes up* what was that?! * looks up* Oh, Hell.

 

Hatori: Oh, shit.

 

Shigure: oh, FUCK NO! * grabs the Hobbit clothes, shoves them on*

 

Hatori: what are you idiots waiting for?! RUN!!

 

* the Madabuchi Trio flee the pursuing Nazgul, and head West. Amazingly, they reach the foothills of the Misty Mountains in a matter of hours. But by then, the daylight is gone. ( *Bloop*) It started to snow a few miles back and has been getting heavier and thicker ever since. Tired from running, they collapse at the foot of an odd looking tree.*

 

Shigure: is that a lampost?

 

Ayame: why, yes it is 'Gure-san. I wonder what a lampost could be doing way out here?

 

Shigure: is it just me, or is it growing from the ground?

 

Ayame: it's not just you.

 

Shigure: alright Ha-san, I know you know. Where are we now?

 

Hatori: you know, maybe if you actualy spent some of your time reading, that would have been obvious by now. Lazy git.

 

Shigure: ha'ri, you're mean.

 

Hatori: you'd better believe it. Gods it's cold, I'm freezing my ass off out here. * mutter* stupid Hawiian T-shirt. * mutter* well, come on. Let's just push through those pines over there, we should find something.

 

* And, to everyone's surprise but Hatori's, they come across the back of the inside of a very old wardrobe. Shigure goes first, but, in their eagerness to get out of the cold, they all tumble out onto the floor at once.*

 

* Bloop*

 

~~~

 

* bloop*

 

Hatori: oh, great. Where are we now?

 

 

~~~

 

to be continued…