Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ I LOVE YOU ❯ The Kiss ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or it's characters. It belongs to Takaya Nasuki. Nor do I own the lyrics "The Kiss" it is property of The Cure.

I want to say thank you for all of your nice reviews and your wonderful e-mails. I was so pleased to know that you found my first chapter agreeable. I hear that Shiomei has been kind enough to tell Kirara26 from Argentina about me, (actually my other story, but I know that you are also reading this one, so I will thank you now.) and I know that a lot of you have done the same with your friends. It is such an honor to know that I have written something that you like enough to recommend to others. I could almost cry, it is so nice. I also love that I have readers from different parts of the world. I know about Germany, Finland, Canada, Argentina, and the U.S. I am curious about the rest of you though. If you do not mind. I would love it if you would tell me in your reviews what country you reside in, and also if you are a girl or boy. I always wonder about that when I read your reviews. Sometimes I can tell, but not always.

Okay, now. This chapter is a bit on the dark side. It also has some touchy subject matter, not graphic, but implied. I am warning, but I don't think it is anything that you will find offensive. And no worries, this story will remain centered around Yuki/Tohru no matter how much Akito threatens me.

Enjoy:

I LOVE YOU

Chapter Two: The Kiss

I awoke in the middle of the night to the ocean's sweet voice. The waves were pounding against the shore, a soft compassionate melody that spoke of promises that could never be fulfilled. I cuddled deeper into the covers, trying to sink back into slumber, but I already knew that it was hopeless. I have not slept through the entire night, since last summer. I average about four hours of sleep each night. It isn't that I have trouble falling asleep; the problem is that I always dream, and that the dreams always awaken me. It is "his" fault, my unwelcome benefactor. He is the person that haunts my heart; his icy cruel face has taken up residence within my soul. He whispers to me while I sleep, and he is slowly destroying me. I see him now, smiling his bitter smile. He holds me captive in his arms and speaks quietly into my ear. "You will obey me, Tohru Honda. You will obey me, or Yuki will pay for it. I know that you don't want your precious Yuki to come to any harm, now do you?" I didn't. Of all of the people in my life, all of the people that I loved, Yuki was the one that I lived for. The one I most desired to protect.

I gave up on sleep, because the darkness was getting to me. I could feel "him" deep inside, he was twisting in my stomach, that leering grin decorating his handsome face, and I wanted him gone. I crawled out of the large bed, mindful of the cold, and wondered if Yuki was warm enough tonight. To escape the darkness, one must move into the light. I went first into the kitchen, searching out each light switch with groggy fingers, but the brightest light bulb, even the sunniest day, could not protect me from Akito Sohma's vile shadow. One cannot evade, what one carries inside.

While I boiled a pot of water for tea, I shivered. My entire body felt frozen from the inside out. It was early spring, and even though the days were starting to warm up a little bit, it was still so cold during the night. It didn't help that we were surrounded by the ocean. All around me I could feel the cool sea air whipping it's way into the cracks and boards of the aging beach house. It crawled up through the wood and into my skin. I trembled, pulling my robe tighter, but it didn't really help. With a cup of tea now in hand I moved like a zombie back to my room. There were two blankets on my bed. Yuki had been thoughtful in leaving me a spare. I grabbed them both up in my arms, careful not to spill my tea, and I crept down the hall to where Yuki slept.

I slid open the bedroom door, careful to make no sound. I didn't want to wake him, he needed his rest. The asthma attack had really frightened me. I truly feared for a moment that I would lose him, really lose him. 'You've already lost him.' Akito whispered from inside my brain. 'Yuki's mine. Yuki will always belong to me.' I shook my head, trying to clear "him" away, but he didn't leave, he never left. He was a part of me. He followed me everywhere, he taunted me constantly.

I placed my tea upon the night stand, so that my hands were free to shake out one of the blankets. I placed it over Yuki, bending down to tuck it snuggly around his peacefully sleeping form. That was good. Now he should be warm enough. Wrapping the other blanket around myself, and retrieving my cup of tea, I took a seat in the chair next to his bed.

What nobody knew, and I would never let Akito discover, was that Yuki was my daylight. When I was around him, everything became brighter, luminous, promising. It was during time spent at Yuki's side that I was able to find peace. His mere presence sent Akito, and all of his shadows, packing. Yuki made me feel safe. I, in turn, wanted to protect him. Protect this beautiful boy. Yuki had felt so much pain in his life, pain from Akito, pain from his parents, and pain from himself. It broke me, literally shattered me into a million worthless pieces, to know that Yuki saw himself as ugly, and undeserving. I wished for him to see himself as I saw him. I wished only for his happiness.

I watched over him, my eyes were starving for him, until the moonlight turned to dawn. Finally, because I was afraid he would wake up and catch me in his room, catch me and learn my secret, I stood. I leaned over his bed, and I placed the gentlest of kisses upon his perfect brow. My heart ached as I slid out of his room and wandered back to my own. I wished that things were different, that I could return to the past. Once upon a time it was easier. I lived at Shigure's and I saw Yuki every day. My life was perfect then, I was so happy, we were happy. "He" couldn't stand to see us that way. My life changed on the day that I was invited to the main house for tea.

"You'll come alone, Miss Tohru Honda." He had informed me, over the phone. "And you are not to tell the others, do you understand?"

I did. I understood then as I do now, that Akito Sohma's word was law. If only I could have said no. If I had never stepped into that house. Maybe if I could have found the strength to oppose him, had I not been so blindly trusting, things might have worked out differently. But, I was still foolish back then. I was a foolish girl who actually believed that Akito Sohma might someday accept me, that perhaps it was possible to change his opinion of me. I even thought that we might become friends. I went to the main house, my mind full of stupid fantasies and childish hopes, and my whole world changed forever. "I will make you suffer the way we suffer." Those words were Akito's promise to me, a promise that he had finally made good upon. Not a day passed, since that fateful summer day, that I did not suffer. I lived in a constant state of agony and denial. This was Akito's gift to me, it was my punishment for dreaming to touch what was exclusively his. I was in love with Yuki Sohma. Akito saw it, even while Yuki himself did not, and so I was punished, and the punishment appropriately was tailored to fit the crime. In Akito's mind I had stolen from him, and he wanted what I had taken back, with interest.

"I have decided that it is time for you to move away now, Tohru Honda, but I am not completely heartless. I am going to give you a present. I will be paying for your tuition and also for your boarding. I have even arranged for a part time job for you, so that you can have a little spending money." He wasn't looking at me as he told me this. We were in his chambers, just a few steps away from his large bed. He was standing at the window, staring outside, feigning indifference to my presence.

"And if I refuse?" I had found the courage to ask, and this had been a mistake. He whipped across the room in a fury, and grabbed both of my arms painfully. His long sharp nails dug into my shoulders, drawing blood.

"You would think to refuse me, Tohru Honda? How dare you be so ungrateful? Do you really think that it is a good idea to challenge my decision?" He asked coldly, pushing his face close against mine, so that I could smell his vicious breath, so that I could taste his angry spite. His voice was eerily calm, and his eyes were blazing black. I have never seen anything so magnificently ugly as those eyes. I have never in my life been so afraid of anything.

"It isn't that I am ungrateful, Akito." I had managed to answer, trying to keep the tears from overflowing my eyes. I knew that Akito hated it when I cried. "It is only that I do not wish to move away. I want to stay with them. I want to live with Yuki, and Kyo, and Shigure."

"Do you think that I do not know that?" He spat, covering my face in his poison. "That is precisely why you must leave. You are an intrusion, a distraction. I will not allow it any longer. You will go, and if you choose not to go then I will make you wish that you had never been born."

"You can threaten me all you like, Akito." I spat back, finding pent-up anger and strength hidden deep inside of my fear. "I won't go. I will move out of Shigure's house if you so command it, but you cannot make me move out of this town. I am not a Sohma, you do not control me."

"Do you not understand, you stupid little girl? I am not giving you a choice. You will leave and if you do not, Yuki will be the one that I punish. You have my word Tohru Honda, if you do not abide by my wishes, I will force Yuki to return to the main house. Yuki will live out the rest of his life paying for your crimes. Will that please you? Is that what you want?"

"You can't." I had whispered, although I knew perfectly well that he could. If Akito wanted Yuki to move back to the main house, Yuki would move back. Nobody would dare to oppose the head of the family. It was unheard of.

"I can't?" Akito laughed at me, an angry cruel laughter full of frozen sin. In one painful rush, he forced me down. I was shoved to the floor and he was laying on top of me. He was whispering seductively into my ear. "The Sohma's are my family, Tohru Honda, not yours. They belong to me. Yuki is mine, and I can do with him whatever I please. Just as I can do with you." His lips closed down, upon mine, his tongue forcing its way painfully down my throat. In an instant, my first kiss, the one that I was saving for Yuki, had vanished. Stolen from me, and engraved by darkness. I would never get it back.

Kiss me kiss me kiss me
Your tongue is like poison
So swollen it fills up my mouth

What happened next, I would never speak of. Though, I often wished that I could tell someone. Saying it out loud would release it, but I simply didn't dare.

Love me love me love me
You nail me to the floor
And push my guts all inside out

Get it out get it out get it out
Get your fucking voice
Out of my head

"You are never to speak of this day!" Akito commanded, tossing my white cotton panties at me. They landed upon my tearstained, and bruised face. His aim was on the mark. "If you ever do I will know, and Yuki will pay. I will take his virginity, just as I have taken yours, and I will not be so gentle with him. My little rat will not enjoy it as much as you did."

I never wanted this
I never wanted any of this
I wish you were dead
I wish you were dead

I had wanted to scream. I wanted to kill him. How could he say such a thing, how could he possibly suggest that I had liked it, liked that. Was he insane? It had hurt like hell, was it possible that he could hurt Yuki even worse than he had just hurt me? Of course, it was. Akito was completely out of his mind, and what he promised would come true. I was at his mercy. As if to prove my point his gave me a warm and strangely loving smile.

"Now, that we have reach an agreement, I have decided to add a small addendum to our contract. I think that I shall allow you to keep in touch with the Sohma's. You may even visit them from time to time, if you so wish. In fact, you are welcome at the main house anytime you please. My bed will always welcome you, sweet Tohru."

I wanted to puke, to escape. I stood in front of him, crying as I tried to cover myself with my tattered sundress. He had ripped it from my body, in one quick brutal slash. It was covered in blood, it was no longer wearable.

I never wanted any of this
I wish you were dead

"Oh, poor girl. You will need something to wear home. You may have one of my robes. Come now, get up, and let's go pick one out for you. We will need to clean you up as well, we can't have my cousins seeing you this way."

A half an hour later, I left the main house wearing Akito's midnight blue robe. The soft silk felt like sandpaper against my battered skin. He had injured me terrible, scarred me outside as well as in. He had won. The deal was struck, in order to protect Yuki I would do as Akito had commanded. I no longer had the will to fight. I was soiled now, my dream of Yuki being my first love was gone, crushed. I could never be Yuki's girlfriend. He would never want me, not if he knew. I was sure of it. I was no longer pure, and Yuki deserved someone pure, someone like himself. What I could do was be his friend. Be his friend and watch over him, and I could smile for him. I would never let him see my sorrow.

Back in my room at the beach house, I showered. I changed into Yuki's favorite outfit. I felt silly wearing it two days in a row, but he had requested it. Today Yuki would honor me, one of his college courses was an art class, and Yuki was becoming quite the artist. Today, he was going to paint me. It was a project for class. A part of his final exam. I was flattered that he picked me, but I wasn't completely surprised. Yuki cared for me, he didn't actually come out and say it, and I hoped that he never would. Last night, in fact, he almost kissed me. He hadn't, I had stopped it. The worst part was that I didn't want to stop him. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted it so very much.

I needed to be careful. I couldn't allow our relationship to move outside of friendship. I could not allow Yuki to fall in love with me. Akito Sohma owned me now, just as he owned Yuki. I was his property, and his will was my command. "Yuki is mine, Tohru Honda, it will serve you well not to forget." My mother would be so disappointed in me. She had always said that it was not nice to hate. I hated Akito Sohma, I wished that he was…

Dead
Dead
Dead

… I can't think such things, he will know if I think them.

Pushing "him" out of my thoughts, I headed for the kitchen to get breakfast started.

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Okay, and that was chapter two. Chapter three will be less dark, I think.

Now, I had better go work on my other story. See you soon.

YTR