Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ I LOVE YOU ❯ Halo ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or it's characters. It belongs to Takaya Nasuki. Nor do I own the lyrics "Halo" it is property of The Cure.

Okay, so how did I decide which of my two stories, this one or Nectar, to update today? Well, I read my reviews, um… well, actually one certain review helped me to decide. This one was from "I'll never tell…" and was anonymous… I won't bore you with the entire review, which was very nice, thank you very much… But I wanted to share a couple of lines of it with you, so here it is:

IF YOU DON'T WRITE MORE I WILL PERSONALY COME AND FIND YOU AND RIP YOUR HEAD OFF WITH MY BARE HANDS! (GLUMP!!! That was me swallowing hard and wiping away the sweatdrops)

I hope you, my readers and my friends, don't mind me sharing that with you, but I felt that I needed some witnesses. Ever since I posted the last chapter of "Sleepless", instead of updating this one, I have noticed an ominous presence lurking in the shadows.

"I'll never tell…" This chapter is for you, and next time you review you can just admit to your true name. I already know that you are Black Haru, so hiding is doing you absolutely no good at all!

Now, that I've covered my a** , I would like to say hello and thank you to everyone else. My list of places now has a couple of additions: Brampton, Ontario, New Jersey, Puerto Rico, Japan (Jealousy, and I don't even think I need to explain why!) Um, so "I'll never tell…" where did you say you came from again??? Well, enjoy the story, I have to go make some coffee for the nice FBI members that are helping me into a witness protection program. Bye for now.

I LOVE YOU

Chapter Four: Halo

Yuki was staring at me, his mouth gaping open like a child who had just received his first toy.

"Is it too much?" I managed to ask, looking down at myself. Yep, it was absolutely too much. The material was so transparent. I had known that it was, but now it seemed even more so.

"Stunning!" Yuki whispered to me, granting me one of his most perfect smiles. "You're stunning, Miss Honda. I'm just concerned about my ability. You make a much better model then I will ever make a painter." His affection surrounded me, lifting my sprits for a moment, making me forget what I needed to remember.

He walked towards me, too close. I could feel his innocent violet eyes caressing my skin. It made me uncomfortable to have him standing so near. It made me dizzy. It was making me weak. His hand moved forward, and I held my breath. 'Don't!' I stopped myself from crying out. He reach behind my head, grasping my red hair ribbon with a gentle tug, my hair tumbled down around my shoulders.

"See this color, Miss Honda? It's all wrong." He said to me, showing me the ribbon in his hand. "You look much better this way, with your hair down. It's gotten so long. It's very pretty." His eyes locked upon mine, imploring me to see him, to understand. I closed my eyes. Shutting him out. Praying that I wouldn't start crying again. My tears were getting harder to explain. I felt his sweet breath upon my skin, heard his soft sigh of regret followed by his footsteps as he moved away. I opened my eyes, just in time to witness it. A single tear. It glittered upon his pale cheek, accusingly, before he brushed it angrily away.

*

I never felt like this with anyone before

You only have to smile and I'm dizzy

You make the world go round

A thousand times an hour

Just touch my head

And send me spinning

I never felt like this with anyone before

You show me colors and I'm crying

You hold my eyes in yours

And open up the world

I can't believe all of this

*

Hours passed slowly, without words. The silence expanded, filling the room with a unpleasant air.

I had hurt him, and I felt horrible about it. It was time that I faced up to the truth. Coming to the beach house had been a mistake. It could only make things more difficult between us. I was out of my mind to pretend that Yuki had only invited me here with the intention of painting a picture. Yuki had ulterior motives. I would need to be more careful from here on out. The way that I was behaving was simply stupid and reckless.

'Do you think that I won't find out about this?' The voice of cruelty screamed inside my head. 'Do you think that just because I have taken to my bed that I can't hurt you? Do you think that Yuki is safe?'

"No." I said under my breath, and closed my eyes, begging "him" to leave me be.

"Miss Honda? Are you okay?" Yuki asked. I opened my eyes and faked a smile.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry, I was just distracted for a moment." Yuki smiled back. I couldn't help but notice that it seemed forced. It was fake, just like my smile. We were both telling lies. We were both hiding. We were both afraid.

"Yuki…" I started, but didn't know what I wanted to say. I wanted to make him feel better, but I wasn't really sure how I could. Yuki stopped painting, he looked over at me. He waited, his eyes begged for an explanation. The words refused me. There was simply nothing to say, nothing that could explain my unspoken rejection of him. There was only the truth, and the truth was a secret. One I couldn't share with him. "Um… it was nothing important, never mind."

Yuki nodded, and turned his attention back to the painting. I watched him as he worked, his brow wrinkling up in concentration, the tip of his tongue darting out unconsciously. Yuki was so incredibly handsome, no not handsome; someone like Hatori or Kyo, they were handsome, Yuki went beyond that. Yuki was sunrise, and rainbows, and waterfalls. Yuki was beauty refined. I needed to give him up. I wasn't strong enough to continue this way. I didn't want our friendship to end, but I couldn't keep putting him in danger for my own selfish reasons. I needed to protect him.

He glanced up from the painting, catching me watching him. He pushed a strand of silver hair out of his eyes, and sat the paintbrush aside. Without another word he came towards me, his eyes fastened upon mine, his hands fisting into nervous balls.

"Yuki, what are you…" He didn't let me finish? He was clearly past letting my words slow him down. He sank down at the edge of the bed, and took my face into his gentle hands.

"Miss Honda. I…" My eyes went wide in fear. I couldn't let him say it. I placed both of my hands over his mouth wanting to keep the words from escaping.

"Yuki, don't say it." I insisted. He looked at me for a moment, sadness and confusion growing in his eyes. I couldn't stand it. I was causing him so much pain. I felt my heart burst apart against my breast. I couldn't help it. I loved him so much.

I removed my hands from his face, and he turned away, staring out towards the sea.

"You know, don't you?" He asked quietly. "You've known all along."

"Yuki, I… I'm sorry. I can't…" I needed to say more. I needed to lie to him. I needed to tell him that I didn't feel the same. Tell him that I didn't love him. It's what Akito would want, the only thing that could keep Yuki safe, but at what cost?

"I'm sorry, Miss Honda. I was foolish to think that you could ever feel the same. That you could ever love someone like me. A filthy unworthily rat."

NO! My soul screamed out. I couldn't allow this. I couldn't allow him to think that way. Not that. I was the one that wasn't good enough. I was the one that was soiled. I was the unworthy one.

"You're wrong, Yuki. I do love you." The words fell from my lips, like water from a broken faucet, I couldn't shut them off. "You are my light. Yuki, how could I not love you?"

"Miss Honda?" He whispered, turning to look into my eyes. His face was wet with tears, and he was smiling at me, in curiosity, as if he wasn't quite sure that he had heard me correctly. "Um… would you mind repeating that?"

I found myself giggling, momentarily forgetting my fears. Now however, I was too embarrassed to say it again. Instead I leaned over and brushed my lips across his cheek.

*

I want to keep this feeling

Deep inside of me

I want you always in my heart

You are everything

I never felt like this with anyone before

You fill my head full of rainbows

And all the rainbows end

Is every step you take

Just to be with you forever

*

"I have loved you for so long." He mumbled, and before I could escape he had my lips trapped inside a delicate kiss. Unable to keep his distance, he carefully slid down beside me, closer, almost too close. His silky fingers wrapped themselves around my waist sending a shiver breezing along my skin. His tongue whispered along the corner of my mouth, tasting tentatively, before pushing its way between my lips. I tensed up automatically. I could feel "His" face prowling the back of my mind, it was trying to find a way in. I could feel Akito's brutal frozen tongue forcing itself inside my mouth, violating me, making want to scream. Yuki pulled back. His loving eyes trying to read me. Had he done something wrong?

"I'm sorry, Miss Honda. I should have asked you, first." It was back, that look. I was confusing him, rejecting him, hurting him. I couldn't stand it, that look. I wanted Yuki to be happy. That was the one single thing that I desired to accomplish, the only thing that I needed to do. Everything else felt shallow and pointless, but I was blowing it. I was ruining everything.

He sat up, his eyes still searching my face. He wanted me to say something, he was silently pleading with me.

"I can't Yuki. I'm so very sorry, but I can't. I just can't be with you like that." These were the words that came out of my mouth, the words that Akito would expect me to say. Inside of me, however, my heart was shouting for me to shut up.

*

I want to keep this feeling

Deep inside of me

I want you always in my heart

You are everything

*

I didn't want to lie to him any longer. I wanted to tell him the truth…

"Yuki… I…"

"No… Miss Honda, really, it is quite all right. You don't need to explain yourself. I understand perfectly." He stood up, and I grasped a hold of his hand, needing him to stay with me. Wanting to make things okay. In one quick irritated tug, he jerked his hand back, away from mine. Without another word, without looking back, he walked out of the room. I shattered, my whole world literally smashed. I stared out the window, out at the storm that was thrashing into the sea. 'That is us.' I thought. I am like the violent storm, and Yuki is the peaceful welcoming sea. I keep coming around, clouding his existence. 'It's time.' I decided. 'I have to let him go. I have to say goodbye.'

****************

Chapter 4 completed, see you in Chapter 5.

YTR