Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ I LOVE YOU ❯ You Really Got A Hold On Me ( Chapter 11 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or its characters. It belongs to Takaya Natsuki. Nor do I own the lyrics to "You Really Got A Hold On Me" they are property of Smokey Robinson

Thanks to my dear editor, and friend, Smiling Onigiri, both for the editing help and for the song suggestion. What would I ever do without you?

And thanks to my readers for the constant love, and support, and e-mails, and other various kindnesses. You keep me writing even when I am not in the mood.

I LOVE YOU

Chapter Eleven: You Really Got A Hold On Me

His room was pitch black, the thick drapes pulled tightly in order to shut out all traces of daylight from entering. He was getting worse, sicker actually. To the other family members he appeared to be fading away, slowly dying, but I alone knew the truth. Akito's body was not failing him; at least not to the extent he wanted everyone to believe. It wasn't that Akito was faking illness, for he was certainly ill, it was more that Akito was allowing the nature of his infirmity to be misconstrued. The origin of Akito's particular condition was not his body, it was his mind. Akito was in love with someone who would never love him back. The pain of that love, and the obsession that had been growing from it, was destroying him.

Akito's fascination with Yuki Sohma had begun in childhood. Since I was always there, watching silently in the background as was Akito's wishes, I understood it better then anyone. Akito had fallen in love with Yuki the moment that he laid eyes upon the frail, beautiful child. Sadly, it was a love that would never be returned.

"He is the one." Akito had informed me the day Yuki's mother first brought him. "He is so lovely, Kureno, did you see? Did you see him? His name is Yuki and he is my new best friend. I will not be alone any longer, Kureno, do you understand? His mother has given him to me because she understands that the rat was born to be mine. We are going to have so much fun together, it's so exciting."

Unfortunately for Akito, his companion turned out to be broken. Yuki was a sickly child who lacked warmth and never completely understood his place. In the Sohma family hierarchy the rat is number one, the creature closest to the head of the family, the person closest to god. In short, Yuki was born to be Akito's lover. The rat's soul purpose in the zodiac was to please Akito, and simply put, Yuki was not up to the task.

Yuki rejected Akito right off the bat. Yuki's first few years at the main house were spent alternating between crying for his mother and lying ill in a hospital bed. Akito, who was just a child himself, possessed neither patience nor the ability to properly express his emotions, and so it was that Akito quickly grew tired of his new playmate.

"He isn't any fun, Shigure." Akito had cried, throwing himself into Shigure's arms.

"Isn't he?" Shigure wondered, pulling the ten-year-old boy into his lap and giving him an understanding smile.

"No, none at all. He makes me very unhappy." Akito complained and moved his small hands up to Shigure's face. "Perhaps I can play with you instead. You are much more fun, anyway."

"Of course, Akito." Shigure agreed, "What would you like to play?"

"Shhh… it's a secret." Akito whispered and motioned him closer. Shigure bent to allow the young head of the family to whisper in his ear and then a moment later blushed bright red before pulling away.

"What's the matter Shigure?" Akito asked, feigning innocence as Shigure lifted him to stand on the floor.

"Nothing at all, Akito." Shigure said and stood up.

"You don't want to play with me?" Akito asked and grabbed a hold of Shigure's hand.

"I'm just curious, Akito, where did you learn of such... um… games?" Shigure asked and looked to me as if it had been from me.

"Don't look at him!" Akito yelled. "Only I am allowed to look at him!"

"I'm sorry, Akito. Forgive me." Shigure soothed, and ran a hand playfully through Akito's jet-black hair.

"I learned these... what did you call them... games, from you Shigure." Akito accused and Shigure's eyes went wide. "From your diary, actually."

"You read my diary?" Shigure questioned, the gentleness in his voice attempting to hide both his anger and his shame.

"Yes, Shigure, I read all of it. I was surprised. You are actually a very good writer." Akito said warmly before he smiled that smile, the treacherous one, the smile that promised suffering.

"Thank you, Akito, but I'm really not so…" Shigure started, but was cut off when Akito's hand slapped him hard across the face.

"I don't like it, Shigure. I don't like it one bit, what you and that snake have been up to." Akito spat at him, and Shigure took a surprised step back.

"Akito, it's not what you think. Aya and I, we love each other." He explained.

"You'll stop it at once, Shigure. It's disgusting that you let him touch you that way. You should know that it displeases me." Akito told him, and then he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Shigure's waist. "You belong to me, not to each other. If you want to love someone, you may love me, I will allow it." Shigure looked once again to me, his eyes begging me to save him.

"Akito," I said calmly. "Isn't it time for your tea? Yuki will be expecting you, I am sure he is looking forward to your visit."

"Oh, yes, Yuki." Akito grinned and pulled himself away from Shigure. "I think today, after tea, Yuki and I would like to do some painting. Shigure, you should go into town and buy us some paint."

"Paint?" Shigure said, obviously relieved at the change of subject. "That sounds like a great idea. What color would you like?"

"Black." Akito said so quietly he could barely be heard. "I think today we will paint Yuki's world black. Perhaps then he will be a more suitable playmate."

That was how it started, Akito's torment of Yuki and seduction of first Shigure, then myself.

I, like others in the family, blamed Yuki. It was the rat's fault that I was forced to serve as Akito's substitute lover. It was the rat's fault that I, in time, grew to love and desperately need my crazy, beautiful lover. It was the rat's fault that Akito would never love me in return. It was the rat's fault entirely, because he did not understand his place.

*

I don't like you

But I love you

Seems that I'm always thinking of you

You treat me badly

I love you madly

You've really got a hold on me

I don't want you,

But I need you

Don't want to kiss you

But I need to

You do me wrong now

My love is strong now

You really got a hold on me

*

"Kureno?" Akito asked quietly as I lit one of the black candles in the candelabra near the door. Who else would it be? Who else would even think to enter his room without knocking? Who else would dare bring a tiny flicker of light into his otherwise dark world? Who else would be allowed?

"Yes." I said, taking care to keep my voice nearly silent, just loud enough to be heard. He needed to hear me, but he didn't want to hear me. This had always been the way it was between us. He made love to me, but he hated me. He put up with me because I was his loyal servant. I was the only one he trusted, the only one who had never betrayed him.

I held the small cage behind my back and silently asked the tiny creature inside to remain still, for it was not yet time for its presence to be known. I had felt it the moment I entered the room, Akito was not in the mood.

"Has it been taken care of?" He wondered as I stepped closer to the bed. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness and I saw that he wasn't looking at me. He lay facing the wall, his hand stretched out so he could caress its cold surface. Yes, his mood was worse then usual today. It was not a day for presents, not a day for joy. Akito's heart was broken, that fucking rat had once again caused my lover pain.

"Yes, Akito. It is as you desired, the girl will not trouble you any longer." I took one final step forward, holding myself back from touching him. I wanted to comfort him, to take his pain away, but I knew my place. I did not touch my God, my God touched me.

"And Yuki?" He asked, and I closed my eyes in sadness. I wasn't surprised, for Yuki had always been his number one concern. Akito was in love with Yuki, not in love with me. It was simply how things were.

"He is on his way. Shigure is bringing him to you."

"Shigure." Akito said bitterly, and I bit my lip to keep from smiling. My rival had displeased him. Shigure was still Akito's lover on occasion and I hated him for it. Not as much as I hated the rat, but it came close. "What should I do, Kureno? That damn dog… how will I punish him?" My smile faded. As much as I hated Shigure, he was still family. "I'll take away the house." Akito decided and turned to me with a happy smile. "I'll make him move home."

"You want to bring him back to the main house?" I asked, my jealousy surfacing. It was bad enough the rat was returning, if the dog moved back as well....

"Yes," Akito said smugly. "I've been thinking of bringing Shigure back for a while now. This seems to be a good time for it."

"I suppose, if you think it is time." I whispered, allowing the skepticism to leak out of my voice. This was a dangerous tactic, but I was desperate.

"What?" He asked, both annoyed that I doubted his wisdom and curious as to why. "What is it? Are you jealous again?"

"No." I lied.

"Then what is it, damn you?" He said, sitting up and scooting across the bed so he could grab my shirt in both hands.

"I was just thinking that it might not be good to have Yuki and Shigure in the same house. As you've said, the dog cannot be trusted."

Akito's eyes went wide with realization. He had taken the bait.

"I see what you mean, Shigure knows too much. Still, something must be done. What do you suggest?"

"Well, the dog hates to fly. If I recall, he is petrified of planes." I said thoughtfully.

"Are you suggesting we kick Shigure out of an airplane?" Akito asked with a wicked grin. He was so adorable when he thought himself funny. His hand came up to my cheek, stroking softly, and I closed my eyes, retreating into his touch.

"You know that's not what I was saying," I whispered.

"Yes, I know. My Kureno would never think such dark thoughts. So tell me then? What did you mean? Surely you're not asking me to send him on a holiday?"

"Not a holiday, work. A book tour, perhaps. That annoying editor of his has been begging him to do one for years. Now might be the perfect time for it." I told him. One of his fingers was now hovering temptingly above my mouth so I took a chance, capturing it between my lips.

"That's brilliant." Akito decided as I gently suckled his warm, sweet flesh.

"Um... Kureno, what is it that you are hiding behind your back?" He moved quickly, meaning to take a peek, and I took a step back, allowing his hand to drop away.

"It's a surprise." I told him, and was pleased to be graced with his prettiest smile.

"For me?" He wondered, and once again tried to peek, but I wouldn't allow it.

"Yes, it is a present for you, but you can only have it on one condition." I told him as I backed away. Keeping the small cage hidden behind my back, I moved carefully towards the bedroom window.

"Oh really? And what are you demanding of me now?" He asked.

"The curtains stay open," I said and pushed the thick drapes apart. "And since it's so nice outside, what say we open the window as well?"

"Fine." He agreed, and I was ecstatic to see that he appeared genuinely happy. Unlatching the window, I pushed it open. Akito stood from the bed and scampered across the floor to stand in front of me. "Now may I have my present?" he asked, and grinned as he reached his hand around me, searching for his prize.

"Careful," I told him. "We wouldn't want to drop it." Inside the cage, the tiny bird sung out just as I had silently requested him to.

"A bird?" He wondered as I brought the cage forward and placed it in his hands. "You're giving me a bird?" We both knew what this gift implied. It was my way of telling him that I trusted him, that I loved him and would forgive him anything, even murder.

"A lovebird," I told him.

"He's lovely." Akito said joyfully and dropped down to sit on the floor. He sat the cage in front of himself and worked open the tiny door. The bird fluttered out, landing upon his outstretched finger, and Akito examined it carefully. I plopped down beside him, wanting to be close to him, hoping for his attention, for just a taste of his love. "Thank you Kureno, you've made me very happy." He bent towards me and placed a light kiss upon my lips, just as I had hoped he would.

"What will you call him?" I wondered, daring to push a strand of unruly black hair behind his perfect porcelain ear.

"Yuki." He said, spoiling the moment. "Since he is my lovebird, I think that I will call him Yuki."

"Oh." I reacted, pulling back. "Of course."

"What else would I call him?" He asked, and I stood up.

"Yuki is a perfect name." I agreed with him. "I will leave you two then, so that you can get acquainted." I headed towards the door.

"Kureno. Wait." Akito called out, and quickly stood.

The bird fluttered from his hand and flew towards the window. 'Don't you dare leave him!' I silently commanded, and the bird immediately swerved and headed back to its cage. Like Akito's last bird, this one would be my spy. He would watch my lover even when I was sent away. He would tell me everything, even that which I would prefer not to know. He would tell me in detail.

Akito rushed to my side and wrapped me in his arms. I looked down into his eyes, mentally telling him that I loved him, for I would never dare to say it out loud.

He stood on the tips of his toes and I bent to allow him to kiss me. His lips parted slightly and I understood the invitation. I slid my tongue into his mouth, my heaven, and when his eyes closed and his tongue wrapped mine tightly I quickly lifted him into my arms and carried him to his bed.

As we lay down together and his fingers worked their way into my pants to find me, I bit back the desire to moan out loud. I broke our kiss and quickly worked open his robe.

It was at that moment a maid knocked softly on Akito's bedroom door.

"What is it?" Akito asked, "What do you want?"

"Master Shigure and Master Yuki, they've arrived." The maid informed us through the closed door.

"They're here!" Akito said happily, and pushed me away. "Bring them to me immediately. Kureno, go great them, hurry up, and fix your clothes. I wouldn't want Yuki to get the wrong idea about us."

"Yes." I answered, pushing back my desire to tie Akito to his bed and have my way with him, whether he liked it or not. I took just a moment to re-dress myself before heading for the door.

*

I love you and all I want you to do

Is just hold me, hold me, hold me

Tighter. Tighter.

I want to leave you

Don't want to stay here

Don't want to spend

Another day here

I want to split now

I just can't quit now

You really got a hold on me

I love you and all I want you to do

Is just hold me, hold me, hold me

*

End of chapter. See you in chapter 12.