Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ I LOVE YOU ❯ Leave Me Alone ( Chapter 16 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or its characters. It belongs to Takaya Natsuki. Nor do I own the lyrics to "Leave Me Alone" they are property of Natalie Imbruglia.

As always, thank you to my editor, Smiling Onigiri.

And thank every one of you for reading and reviewing.

I LOVE YOU

Chapter Sixteen: Leave Me Alone

"GO AWAY!" I shouted and jumped up from the futon quickly, waving my arms and causing the roomful of birds to take flight and rush in fear towards the open windows.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as an afterthought. "I know you're all trying to help, but I need to be alone." Feeling guilty, I laid back down and pressed my face against the pillow.

It was so careless of me. In one single evening I had destroyed everything. What had I been thinking? Had I actually thought losing my temper like that, admitting to Akito that I loved him and pressuring him into sex, could change something between us? Did I really think I could sway his black heart? That I could melt it? That I could make the cruel bastard love me back?

"DAMN IT, YOU'RE SO STUPID!" I screamed aloud and clenched the soft pillow between my fists.

Why was I even surprised?

My feelings have never mattered to Akito. The simple truth is that I am nothing in his eyes. I'm no better then a sex toy, something that he can use when necessary and then hide away.

I don't even have the right to be angry with him, although I am... really angry.

Akito isn't an honest person. He'll easily lie to suit his purpose, and what's worse is that he actually believes his own lies. There is one thing he has always been honest to me about, though: his heart is set on Yuki. It doesn't matter that Yuki doesn't deserve him, that he doesn't appreciate him. No, none of that matters. It is simply how things are, and it is how they have always been. It's just another of the sick Sohma traditions that have been mindlessly followed, mindlessly passed down, for generations. Who was I to try and break the rules? That would be as foolish as trying to break the curse, foolish and fruitless. Akito was my God, Yuki was his lover, and I would forever remain nothing more than God's personal slave.

Feeling frustrated, I flipped onto my back, hid my face beneath the pillow, and tried to push Akito out of my mind. I needed sleep. I was desperate for it. I'd been living at Shigure's for a little over a week now and during that time I'd gotten very little rest.

Even though Akito had rarely visited Shigure's small home, everything about it still managed to remind me of him, but the problem was the house itself as much as it was Akito. It was pitiful, or rather, I was pitiful.

I couldn't go anywhere near Yuki's room for obvious reasons. Yuki was my enemy. He was sharing my lover's bed. Nor could I sleep in Shigure's room. Shigure was my rival. Shigure was, as Akito had reminded me on numerous occasions, Akito's first kiss. Kyo's room brought guilt. Tohru's room brought gut-wrenching guilt.

Regardless of what Akito might think about me, I wasn't blind and I wasn't a total bastard. I understood the pain that I was helping Akito to inflict on that girl, I understood and I was starting to hate myself for it.

I didn't like Tohru Honda. At least I hadn't thought that I did. Last summer the girl had paid a visit to Akito. I was sent away that day, sent off to allow `God' his privacy. On top of that, my spy, that stupid bird, had allowed himself to get locked out. Although I had no idea what went on in Akito's bedroom that day, I had my suspicions. I felt certain that, like Shigure and myself, Tohru had succumbed to Akito's charms. The little tramp had given herself to him, why else would Akito have taken such a sudden interest in her education and well being?

"I've decided to pay her rent and tuition," he had informed me that evening when I returned from town. "I would also like you to call Ryo Sohma. He still owns that `special' bookstore, right? Such a nasty boy he is. Tell Ryo that I would like him to give her a job."

Yes, I should hate that girl, just as I hated Yuki. So why was it that I didn't? Why was it that her tears made me feel so weak? Made me feel so guilty? Made me want to see her smile, maybe even be the cause of her smile? It was insane, just as I was insane.

`It's true, Kureno. Living with Akito has driven you insane! What you've done to that girl is wrong! It makes you just as bad as him, just as crazy!' This thought whispered through my brain, causing me to shiver in the warmth of the room. I pushed it away and flipped back onto my stomach.

Since I was unable to inhabit even a single room upstairs, I had set up camp in the living room. I had found this small, uncomfortable futon in the closet and made the living room my new bedroom. I understood that if I ever hoped to get past these feelings, if I wanted to move on and get over Akito - and at the moment I really wanted to do that - then I needed to forget. I needed to put Akito Sohma and my love for him out of my mind completely.

"It's impossible!" I realized and threw the pillow across the room. How could I get over someone whose name, face, and touch were imprinted on my soul? Akito Sohma was my lover, my keeper, my family, my God. Everything that I knew about life, and also about the world outside of Sohma house, I've learned from Akito. I've been privately tutored in the curriculum that he chose for me, read only the books that he deemed appropriate, and was only allowed to watch television when it was something he wanted to watch. This meant, basically, that I knew only what could be learned from business textbooks, anime reruns, and erotica. In other words I was an imbecile, and to be honest I was also very intimidated.

Pulling myself up off the floor, I glanced at the clock. 5:05 A.M. Too early! I had only a couple of things I needed to do this week, some family business, the usual stuff, and I needed to pay another visit to Akito's prisoners. Tohru made me a list of things they required and I'll need to do some serious shopping in order to fulfill her request.

"You'll need to go to the supermarket." She had told me, smiling sweetly, not scornfully, as if I were her friend and not her abductor. "All this junk food, it's not good for Kyo. I'd like to be able to make him decent meals, if that is all right with Akito. Here, I can draw you a map, but it's very easy to find, very close to Shigure's house."

The idea of this, of going to a supermarket, scared the hell out of me. Over the last week I've become quite accustomed to using the small convenience store in town. The people who own it are kind and very helpful. They're friends of Uo's and I had hoped to see here there, but Tohru had informed me that Uo'd gotten a scholarship and moved to Kyushu. That crazy girl was going to be a vulcanologist. I must admit I was a little disappointed to learn that she no longer lived in town. For the first time in my life I actually had time to spend with other people, but I didn't really know anyone. I had no friends, just Akito, and I was very lonely.

As I moved into the kitchen to prepare some tea I was startled by my cell phone, which rang loudly. It was him! I knew it even before I grabbed the phone up and flipped it open to see his phone number flashing on the display. Of course it could only be him, calling so early in the morning. I entertained, only briefly and not very seriously, the idea of not answering. It was the type of thing Yuki would do and it seemed to work very well for him, but no, I could never do it. I was too well trained. Akito called - I answered, it was the natural order of things. I hit the tiny peach colored `TALK' button and put the phone to my ear.

"Good morning, Akito." I said, trying my best to sound composed when I was anything but.

"Kureno," his voice through the phone felt soft against my ear and just hearing it set my heart to pounding and my stomach into a fitful swirl. I missed him, so much so that I could barely stand it. "There is something that we need from you. Against my best wishes, Yuki has decided he would like to return to school today." Gritting my teeth at the mention of Yuki's name, I remained silent.

"He would like it very much if you could bring him something to wear." Akito continued, and then covered the phone for a moment while he spoke to Yuki. Fighting back tears, I waited. "He says to bring his black pants, his white high necked shirt, the one with the silver buttons, and some black shoes. Oh, and can you come right away? He needs to leave by seven thirty."

"I'll be right over." I said, and before he could say more, I hung up the phone and dropped down on the floor. I wanted to cry, to lie down on the floor and bawl like a baby, to get everything out of my system, and then I wanted to sleep forever. Instead, I sat for a moment with my head against my knees, not crying, just hurting, and then I stood up, pulled myself together, and headed upstairs.

Yuki's room was a pigsty. The boy might be pretty, but he certainly didn't know how to pick up after himself. Luckily, the requested outfit was lying, folded, right on top of the dresser, a pair of black pants and one incredibly feminine looking white shirt with silver buttons. Finding the shoes proved a bit harder. They were not under the pile of dirty clothes in his closet, nor were they downstairs near the front door. Returning to Yuki's bedroom, I was considering calling Akito to inquire on their possible whereabouts when I noticed the tip of a black shoe poking out from underneath his bed.

"Little pig," I said bitterly and bent over to search underneath his bed for the shoe's missing mate. I located it immediately, though I had to push the bed to the side in order to retrieve it. "Stupid little pig, whatever does Akito see in you?"

It was 6:45 when I entered Akito's front door and hurried down the hall to find his bedroom empty, with the exception of a maid who was busy cleaning up after the asshole and his little piglet.

"Where is Akito?" I asked her harshly.

"He's in the garden with Master Yuki," she informed me.

"THE GARDEN?" I repeated, more for myself than for her benefit.

"Yes," she confirmed. "They spent the night there last night, Master Akito was feeling a bit bothered by the heat."

"He was, was he?" I said and turned to leave. `They're in the garden? Our garden? Yuki and Akito had spent the night in our garden? Bastards!'

I made my way down the hall to the garden doors in record time but then I stopped. `Should I knock?' I asked myself, although I had never found it necessary to knock before entering the garden before. `What if they're in the middle of...?" This thought was all the answer I needed. Without knocking, I slid the doors open and walked in on Yuki and Akito together in the bath.

But they were not, I was thankful to see, actually together, they were only using the large bath at the same time. They sat a good distance a part, and although Yuki blushed when he looked up and saw me, Akito actually appeared to be pleased by my presence.

"Kureno!" Akito said with a smile and stood up to step out of the bath. "See Yuki, I told you he would get here on time. He's so fast, just like I promised."

"Yes. He was very quick." Yuki agreed, and I noticed that he didn't look at Akito as he spoke. In fact, he was looking the other way, avoiding Akito's blatant nudity. `They're not lovers yet,' I realized in relief.

Moving across the garden, I sat Yuki's bag of clothes on the table. Akito had quickly dried himself and pulled on a robe before heading my way.

"Come Kureno," Akito said and grabbed me by the hand. "Let's give Yuki some privacy to get dressed." Then in a whisper only for my ears he added. "He's very shy. He doesn't like people looking at him when he's naked. It's ludicrous, really."

I allowed Akito to lead me back inside and down the hall to the kitchen.

"You'll have breakfast with us?" He asked me, and I nodded. The table was already set for three, so I understood that it was less of an invitation and more of a demand.

Letting go of my hand, Akito grinned up at me and before he could take a seat at the table, I stopped him by placing one hand lightly on his shoulder.

"I've missed you," I told him honestly.

"Have you?" He asked and smiled up at me curiously. "I wonder why?"

"Can you... can I hold you? Just for a moment," I asked and started to enclose his body in my arms.

"No!" He said and stepped out of my grasp. "I don't want to, not right now. Yuki will be here any moment to have breakfast with us."

"I don't care about Yuki!" I told him. "I've missed you. You're all that I've thought about for the past week. Damn it, Akito, you know that I'm in love with you. Can't you just forget about Yuki for five minutes and pretend to have some feelings, no matter how small they might be, for me?"

"I told you, not right now!" Akito said and dropped down at the kitchen table. Then he looked up at me with that smartass little smirk of his. "Sit down, please, on this side of the table. Yuki can sit over there. You get to be right next to me, so be happy with that, okay."

`He probably just wants me there to pour his tea.' I though dejectedly, but took the offered seat never the less.

*

I ask you to hold me,

But you don't want to hold me

It don't work like that

I want you to love me,

But you don't want to love me

I'm losing patience now

*

We waited for ten minutes, for Yuki to arrive and take his seat, before Akito allowed breakfast to be served. Breakfast consisted of Yuki's favorites, I noticed, and I also couldn't miss the fact that Yuki and Akito appeared to be getting along extremely well. This bothered me a lot, so much so that I couldn't eat a bite. Where was Yuki's usual air of general snootiness? Where was Akito's sarcastically biting wit? Was it really possible that Akito was winning over Yuki's cold heart? That Yuki had successfully, and perhaps happily, replaced me?

`How would you feel, Yuki, if you knew the truth?' I wondered to myself. `Would you be so pleasant to him if you knew what he has done?'

"Excuse me," Yuki's voice broke into my thoughts, and I looked across the table to see that he was standing. "I am sorry to leave in the middle of breakfast, but I must be on my way."

"That's fine, Yuki." Akito said gently, and reached out his long fingers to wrap them around Yuki's wrist. "And you're sure that you're feeling well enough to return to school? We wouldn't want you to have a relapse."

"I'm fine, Akito." Yuki insisted, and I noticed just the tiniest amount of annoyance hidden behind the pretty smile that he graced Akito with. "I only have a couple of weeks before the term ends, so I really shouldn't miss any more school."

"Yes, then, off you go, the driver should already be waiting for you outside." Akito told him and released his hand.

"Uh… Kureno, thank you for going out of your way to bring my clothes, I'm sorry if it was a bother." Yuki said to me and gave me a slight bow. Before I could reply, he hurried from the room.

"Well, then. I guess that leaves just us." Akito said with a warm smile and pushed his plate away.

"I should be going as well." I decided, and stood up. I didn't really want to leave, but I also didn't really want to stay.

"Nonsense, Kureno, I'd like it very much if you would spend the day with me." Akito told me, and then he stood up, wrapped his arms around my neck, and pulled me down into a kiss.

"Akito," I mumbled against his lips, allowing a small kiss but keeping my lips pressed tightly closed.

Sensing my reluctance, he pulled back. Removing his hands from my neck, he stared up into my eyes longingly.

"I've missed this," Akito said. Taking my hand in his, he placed it inside his robe, directly on his fully formed arousal.

`STOP IT!' I screamed inside my head and pulled my hand back. Then I pushed him away.

"I can't." I told him, and to my annoyance felt wetness upon my cheeks. Once again my eyes had betrayed me, the dreadful tears had returned. Turning away from him I walked towards the door.

"Don't be such a sad little girl, Kureno." Akito complained, and then his arms were wrapped around me from behind, pulling me tightly to him. "There is no reason for you to be so blue. I said that I missed you. I want to be with you. Don't you want to be with me?"

"No!" I said to him and turning quickly, I shoved him away, hard. He landed on the ground, right on his selfish little butt, and stared up at me in surprise. "You did not say that you missed me! You said that you missed this!" I held my hand out to him and then I bent over and slapped him hard across the face. "It's not the same thing."

As I headed for the door he cried out to me. "Kureno, are you really leaving?"

The sound of tears in his voice caused me to hesitate, to turn back, because I needed to know that I wasn't imagining it.

"Please, don't go." He begged me, reaching out his arms towards me and allowing the tears to flow freely down his face.

"I'm sorry, Akito." I whispered and closed my eyes, because seeing him that way, like a desperate child begging for my love, was killing me. It effected me exactly, I was certain, as he had intended. "I have to get out of here and I'd really like it if you wouldn't call me for a while."

"NO!" He shouted. "I'll call you whenever I damn well please. You're mine, Kureno, don't you dare forget that! You belong to me, only to me!"

"Akito, please," I said and slid open the kitchen door. "You have Yuki. You've gotten everything you've always wanted. Now I just need you to leave me the hell alone for a while."

Slamming the door shut behind me, I headed for my car.

*

You like me to stroke you

Careful I don't choke you,

Did you read my mind?

You say don't be blue

Is that the best you can do?

I've lost my patience now

Oh leave me alone

Stop asking for more

I'm going home on my own

Oh leave me alone

I'm walking out of the door

I'll make it on my own

Leave me alone

*

I was still crying when I pulled into the drive at Shigure's to see a bright yellow Volkswagen Beatle already parked in front of the house. Pulling in behind it, I shut off my car and stepped out to stare at the girl who was sitting on the front porch.

"Kureno?" She said in surprise, and then she stood up with a giant, excited smile.

"Oh, my god! Kureno! It really is you!" And she ran towards me. I never even had a chance of stopping her....

"I've really missed you!" Uo exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around me....

POOF!

*

Leave me alone...

Just leave me alone.

*

End of chapter.... And yes, yes, I know what some of you are thinking... what about Yuki and Tohru???? I'm getting to that, damn it, be patient.... Next chapter is Yuki's POV.

YTR