Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Light in My Life ❯ Isolations ( Chapter 28 )

I seemed to have gone quickly on the last chapter; pardon me. Some things just had to be accomplished quickly, I suppose.

28: Isolations

Tohru had been shown to her room not long after leaving Hatori's private quarters. The maid had dusted and lay out a futon, but Tohru had stopped her when she went to pick up. "I can do it, since I'm the one who'll be staying here," Tohru said. The maid argued for some moments, but in the end had given in and left.

Tohru sat on her futon, staring absently at the wall. She had looked into the closet and desk and found nothing but dust and cobwebs, so she had decided to wait for night to come so she could sleep. Sleep was the only way to get away, now.

Living with Akito would be a task, but she felt a deep sense of betrayal: in herself. She had abandoned Yuki, Kyou, and Shigure without a fight, and now they were probably enjoying their freedom. Tohru sighed, watching through the window as the sun sank lower in the sky, just enough so its light was cut by the hills.

Tohru glanced up as she heard loud thumping outside, and the sound of someone talking quickly. Two pairs of footsteps came down the hallway, tapping irregularly against the wooden floor when they came to a stop just outside her door. There came a knocking and Tohru quickly got to her feet.

She opened the door only to be greeted by a wide-eyed Momiji. Hatsuharu stood behind him, carrying two large bags over his shoulders.

"Tohru!" Momiji cried, jumping at her and enveloping her in a hug. There was a sudden puff of yellow smoke, and Tohru sat on the floor holding a small rabbit. "What happened, Tohru-kun?"

Haru hefted the two satchels onto the ground, keeping his eyes on her as he set them together on the bare wood floor. "Yes, Tohru-kun. What happened?"

Tohru watched her friends with what was obviously an attempt at a reassuring smile. "I'm just... moving here temporarily," she replied quietly. Momiji nuzzled her face with his, his whiskers tickling her cheeks. She held back a ticklish giggle.

Hatsuharu looked on, his usually dazed face taking on a saddened expression. "Tohru-kun, if there's anything you need to talk about..." She turned her head away, letting her hair hide her eyes. Haru sighed. "I brought your bags."

Without another word, the cow left the room. Momiji watched the exchange with confusion before he focused back on Tohru. "Tohru should just be Tohru," he told her wisely, before hopping off her lap and bouncing out the door after his tall, white-haired friend.

Tohru opened her bag, seeing her mother's photograph lying on top. Her underwear were lying right beneath it, and her face turned a bright red. Shigure must have packed it.

She took out the photograph, setting it on the bland, empty desk and letting out a sigh. "Where are you now, mother?" Tohru felt suddenly empty; she had no home again, no family, and there would be no telling what Uotani and Hanajima would think. They knew there was something strange about the Sohma family, but they had absolutely no idea. Tohru drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them to herself as she buried her face in her arms. There was nowhere to go, and no one left.

Tohru didn't know what to make of Akito anymore. She had felt trust in him during the year; she had survived with his subtle support... and now even he had abandoned her. Surely he was going to do something to her, even though that was not what she feared; it was losing the last pillar of strength which frightened her.

If Akito turned his back on her now, there would be nothing left. Not even Uo or Hana could save her.

***

I had ordered dinner sent to Tohru's room two hours before, but there was still no report. I had never been one to move unnecessarily nor over-think anything except for that moment when I paced continually about my day room. The sun had long since set, and I had been unable to sit for more than a few minutes since I heard the rabbit and the cow arrive with Tohru's bags.

I had been firm in my belief that Shigure's house was no place for her. But an underlying thought was eating at me; was I really just doing it for himself? Was I just saying that it was for her? I stopped pacing and opened the patio door to allow in the cool night air. Everything had turned upside-down since Tohru came into the family, and now things became much more complicated.

I stepped onto the porch, marveling at the wood planks beneath my feet. One slip and they could embed splinters into my bare toes; but it was a risk I was willing to take in order to stand outside without putting on slippers. But was Tohru a risk I was willing to take to ensure that I could keep her by me?

I found myself wavering on a thin line. It was the line between someone I could always rely on, someone I could call a friend, and someone whose heart I held in my hands, someone that was more than a friend.

Why did I really want Honda Tohru living in my house? Just to give her a place to stay where she didn't have to work to earn her keep and where I could always protect her, or was it really because of my own personal need?

There were too many questions and not enough answers. I knew that I was really the one with the solution, but there was no way to find it. It was obvious that Tohru needed her friends as much as they needed her. But when they weren't friends to her anymore, did I have the right to take her in?

I let out a sigh as I tilted my head back to look at the black canopy above me. It was dotted with stars, which flickered in all their different shapes and colors. I wasn't a stargazer. I was never that kind of person.

But I was a different person now, and there was nothing I could do. Taking one more glance at the stars,--hoping for some kind of indication as to the course of action I should take,--I walked back into my room and closed the door behind me.

I knew that Tohru would be in tears about leaving her "family." Shigure had been her guardian for three years now, but I knew the dog would obey my orders. The cat and the mouse, on the other hand, were another matter. But as long as I held Tohru in my captivity, they wouldn't try anything against me that might get her involved. Was she just my weapon?

As I stepped into the hallway, I briefly touched my lips. I could still remember Tohru's taste; we had kissed all but five times that year.

I raised one eyebrow, looking at the book I held upside-down in my hands. Tohru giggled and reached over, gingerly taking the book from my hands and turning it the right direction so that I could properly read the strange words. It was a book written in English, and I had absolutely no idea how to go about reading it, but Tohru did. She was smart like that.

Tohru leaned over, pointing to the words she knew and telling me how they were pronounced and what they meant. I couldn't focus at all on what she was teaching me; her hair fell in front of her face as she talked, and she was always brushing it behind her ear and out of the way. I tried it once, and she blushed madly and giggled like a little schoolgirl. She was so entertaining.

Tohru looked at me with concern. "Akito-san? Are you alright?" I jerked, realizing I had been staring at her intently for at least a minute. I nodded my head.

"I'm fine," I replied calmly.

Tohru smiled and nodded, continuing the lesson I was paying absolutely no attention to and enjoying every minute of it. As soon as she turned to me again to ask what the matter was, I kissed her. Just a quick taste of her lips and it was gone; but it made me ready to listen to whatever she had to say for another hour.

What was it: playing, flirting, or teasing? Was I only playing with her heart? Tohru was the embodiment of innocence, and it was harder and harder to think of my attitude toward her as just mere playing.

It was so much more than that now.

As I approached her room, I balked at the sounds I heard coming from inside. Muffled sobs came through the thin door, and I could hear Tohru shuffling on the bare floor as she cried. I set my hand lightly on the handle, sliding the shoji panel door open in perfect silence as I stepped inside. Closing it behind me I observed the girl who sat in her pajamas, her face buried in her arms while the pink fabric stifled her sobs.

Tohru must have heard me kneel beside her, for she jumped when I rested my feet down on the floor. Before she could react I slipped my arms around her, pulling her tightly to my chest. She protested automatically for a second before she realized my strength and submitted, her body shaking as she sank back to the ground. I felt her face embed into my chest where my heavy yukata was still open enough to reveal my chest. She trembled for a moment as I tightened my grasp, but she suddenly burst into sobs with renewed vigor. I stroked her back, sniffing her hair as she clutched my blue haari tightly with her shaking fingers.

I put my chin on the top of her head, closing my eyes as I got more comfortable. I pulled her into my lap, something which I had never before been able to accomplish. Her toes curled on the floor as she sobbed harder, her wet tears spilling onto the bare skin of my chest.

It was my fault. Every bit of it.

What was she to me?

What did I really want with this Honda Tohru?