Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Poor Impulse Control ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

This story was inspired by the song Poor Impulse Control by Jack Off Jill; the actual lyrics that inspired the story are as follows (NOTE- THIS IS NOT PART OF THE STORY, BUT AN AUTHOR'S NOTE)“Now all, all that I'll ever abuse/ All, all that I'll ever see / All, all that I'll ever ruin / You can cover it with makeup…”

 

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It became a habit of hers so very quickly.

 

In her gang, she was used to pain; how many fights had she gotten into in middle school? Pain was no stranger to her, and eventually, she found comfort in it. Pain, she quickly realized, covered up anything and everything she didn't want to feel. When her father's drunk ways got under her skin, when how perfect Tohru's life seemed compared to hers became even more clearer than usual, she got beat out the feelings.

 

She never cut; that scared her so much. The idea of accidentally slipping with the razor, or cutting too deep frightened her immensely. Instead, she'd hit herself, punch her arm, her head, her face. She'd end up with deep purple bruises on her limbs and cheeks; all were easily explainable. She could say she got in a fight with a former gang member, or something of the like. But, as time went on, she couldn't use that excuse. It became common knowledge that she had gotten out of her gang, and that she was left alone. Teachers would take her aside and ask quietly if her father was mistreating her.

 

That was when she discovered the miracle of cover-up. The makeup could easily cover any offending bruises, and no one be suspicious of that the little bottle of cover-up she carried everywhere.

 

As she moved into the high school, her beatings lessened though did not disappear completely. She wasn't drowning in self-pity anymore, and had friends to lean on.

 

Then she met him.

 

Kyo was unlike any other guy she met; hostile, rude, and a complete ass around her. It was so different from everyone else; most boys at school treated her like everyone else, or acted a little scared of her. He never treated her with respect; he'd snap at her all the time, pick fights, and she loved it. She liked this difference, and so, she'd purposely tick him off, just so she could fight with him.

 

She eventually came to realize that she liked him, more than she liked anyone else. But, they fought so much, and she doubted that it was because he liked her. He couldn't like her, could he? No, of course he didn't. He probably hated her.

 

And that knowledge led her to lash out at herself almost nightly, forming bruise over bruise on any limb she could attack. She hated herself for starting their hostile relationship, for beginning the hate he undoubtedly felt towards her. And still, she couldn't stop fighting with him. She didn't fight with him as much, and he would tolerate her presence because she was Tohru's friend. It only made her ache more; she didn't want him to just tolerate her, she wanted him to like her, to want to be with her. But, she didn't fully stop picking fights with him; he was just too cute when he got flustered.

 

And so, late at night, she'd take it out on herself, cursing herself for being so stupid. The next day, she'd see the ugly bruises, and curse herself again, this time for making her body so disgusting, so undesirable. Then the cover-up would come out, after painful showers; even the usually soothing water would hurt her tender skin. She would gently smooth the liquid over her skin, covering over all the dark bruises until there was not a chance anyone would ever see them.

 

It seemed so easy to keep doing this, so easy to keep it a secret, that she never thought anyone would find out about it.

 

It was a rainy afternoon, and she was waiting at a corner for a light to change. She had her umbrella with her, of course; when it rained, she always walked home instead of taking the subway, because the subways were always over crowded on rainy days. It was only she and Kyo at the corner, for Yuki had some student council duties to take care of and Tohru had work.

 

She and Kyo talked briefly without snapping at each other, much to her joy. True, he was absolutely adorable when he got flustered, but it was nice to know that they could just talk without yelling. They didn't talk about much, just petty conversation.

 

The light changed, they crossed the street, and Uo turned to go down one street, where she'd part with him, when Kyo offered to walk her home. She accepted, but not without making a slight remark about being able to take care of herself.

 

They walked together in silence for a while; it was extremely awkward. Uo hadn't felt like this around a boy before, so unsure of what to say or do. It wasn't often she was alone with a boy, though.

 

Right when they reached Uo's apartment building, a strong wind came, and blew her umbrella right out of her hands. Both took off after the umbrella, though Kyo slowed down rather quickly, seemingly out of breath. In the back of her head, Uo was slightly puzzled; Kyo was in top physical condition. He was always quick to show off in gym class.

 

Eventually, she reached her umbrella, but not before she was completely soaked. She walked back to Kyo, wiping the water off her face. She was about to be unnaturally polite and thank him for walking her home when she noticed he was looking at her strangely. Slowly, he reached a hand out and rubbed his thumb across her cheek. Uo winced; on her cheek was a fresh bruise. When Kyo pulled his hand back, she saw her cover-up smudged on his thumb. Shit, she thought.

 

Kyo opened his mouth, and softly asked, “What the hell are you covering up?”

 

 

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WEEEEE!!!!!

 

For a while there, I thought I had writer's block, but now I know it's DEFINATELY gone. =) Anywho, another fic out, I'm not so sure about this chapter, but I promise it'll get better!!!

 

Review!