Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Punishment ❯ Where Are My Angels? ( Chapter 2 )

Punishment
Chapter 2: Where Are My Angels?

       "I think that you've just overheard something that you didn't like, hm? Us talking about some little girls in your grade. You must be friends with them, accomplices in their wicked games, and want to avenge their honour!" Motoko laughed maniacally, in a way that only she could pull off without looking completely insane. "How rich."

       "Motoko, she only arrived at our school today, I doubt that she's friends with those two already," a loud but scared whisper came from the group.

       "I think she's getting angry over nothing - ah!" A second higher whisper added, but was silenced once again by the soft sound of purse hitting flesh. She hissed, " Again? Hey, come on now, no need for that!"

       Motoko continued, talking over the others as if they hadn't said a word. "You must be one of them, just another witch who's going to take Yuki-kun away from us!"

       Witch. It stung more than any combination of words that Motoko could have strung together ever could. Saki still had no idea what the girl was talking about, but enough evidence had been gathered from the short dispute to prove that she was hated by Motoko before she could even do anything to deserve it. She thought back to the stories told at Halloween. A witch, a terrible creature of the night who performed rituals to unite herself with Satan. So horribly different that they were not accepted into society and were burned at the stake. The engulfing flames would take away their lives, for it was said that they did not belong with pure blooded humans. Not accepted in the least, and no one ever felt pity for them as they were slaughtered. They were only alive to be tormented.

       * * * * *

Another hard day running from all those vampires.

All of the sycophants are caught on a high wire.

All my life's been filled with wanton tragedies.

Where's my angel, my naked soul?

       * * * * *

        Saki was at a loss for words, but her confusion did not show on her features. She simply stood and said nothing, waiting for it all to be over.

       "Are you even listening to me? What have you got to say for yourself?" Motoko screeched at her, causing Saki to flinch slightly. Even with all the practice she had at remaining expressionless throughout anything, she couldn't help herself.

        Why does it hurt so much, even without too many brutal words? I've been through so much worse than this, so this shouldn't matter. "You are not worth it." She didn't mean to say it out loud, but the words left her mouth. Powerful waves surrounded her on all sides, coming from the reverberant girl. Before she knew what was happening, Saki felt a sharp pain against her cheek and stumbled backwards a few steps. Raising her hand to touch it, she realized what had happened. Unreal, a slap in the face, one too fast to evade.

        Two sets of footsteps ran from down the hallway, bursting between the group of girls. "Hey, what are you doing?" A low but feminine voice yelled. Its owner pulled Motoko away from Saki, holding her by her wrists.

       "Let go of me." Motoko warned, narrowing her eyes.

       "Leave that girl alone, alright? Or something worse will happen to you." The tall blonde grinned as she dealt her warning, then released her. Motoko stepped back a few steps, rejoining her cluster of friends - safety in numbers, after all.

        She sighed and flipped her hair over her shoulders. "Whatever. Let's go eat lunch now, okay?" She started walking off, and her friends immediately followed, looking back to watch how the prey would react. Under her breath, Motoko swore that it wasn't over yet. It was barely audible, but she added, "We shall prevail."

        That girl who had helped Saki, she was the same one who she noticed in homeroom, the one with the protective waves. Those same waves seemed even stronger now, and they overtook her senses. She felt comforted by the fact that someone would go out of their way to defend her.

        While threats had been mustered, Saki found herself being comforted by another girl who had accompanied the protective one. With worry written all over her face, a smaller girl with shining, green eyes and long, brown hair ran over to her. "Are you okay? You aren't hurt, are you?" She studied the red area where she had been hit, placing a hand on Saki's shoulder. There was no fear, just selfless concern. Saki felt surprised.

       "Ah," Saki shook her head. "I'll be fine. This isn't the worst I've ever received."

       "We should take you to the nurse to be treated, we don't want it to get worse!" The girl frowned in thought. "I'll come with you to make sure you get there."

       "No really, it's okay." Saki found herself smiling, hoping that the sadness of that unknown girl would subside. "She didn't really hit me that hard." A nurse wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway.

       "I insist -" The brunette stopped talking when the blonde returned.

       "Hey, Tohru, give her some room to breathe, 'kay?"

       "Ah, Uo-chan!" Tohru stepped back, and then bowed to Saki. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Honda Tohru. And this is -"

       "Uotani Arisa." Arisa grinned as she finished the sentence quickly. "You're Hanajima Saki, right? I remember you from homeroom. I guess that you weren't really warmly welcomed, ne?"

       "Yes, but I suppose that's just the way that things have to be." Saki saw that those girls were completely out of sight, and relief ran through her. "Thank you both for helping me." She bowed, and excused herself from their company.

        No matter how glad that she was that someone had protected her, no matter how glad she was that someone had worried about her health, and no matter how much she wanted to simply talk to them and learn about these two kind people, she couldn't allow herself. Tohru and Arisa watched as she opened her assigned locker, and pulled out about four crumpled balls of paper that had been left behind by its previous occupier. Concentrating on a nearby garbage can, she tossed them in one at a time, but missed the final two. They both fell to the ground pathetically after losing momentum.

        Tohru walked up and placed them in the can, then continued towards Saki's locker. Arisa joined her, and the two girls stood behind her. Tohru smiled her silly little smile, and Arisa thought over the events that had occurred.

       "You actually think this is the way that it has to be? If you don't like the way things are, you've just got to work to change it." Arisa nodded. "Take it from me, I know."

        Saki closed her locker, but didn't lock it right away. She thought about Arisa's words, but then shook her head. "No, this is something I can't control. It's out of my reach, so it'll never change." Memories of the nagging energy waves plagued her mind, but she still felt oddly at peace. It was almost as if there were less obtrusive energies surrounding the three girls, just the calming waves of an ocean.

        Tohru could tell that this wasn't something that Saki was going to change her opinion about the matter anytime soon, so she changed the subject to a less serious one. "Do you want to come eat lunch with us? If you feel up to it, that is." She smiled.

        She really did want to. So soon after pledging that she wouldn't get close to anyone, she was already tempted to stray from her plan. She couldn't let herself be so vulnerable by staying by their calming waves. "I'm sorry, I can't do it. At least, not today."

       "Oh," Tohru couldn't mask the disappointment on her face. "Okay, but if you change your mind, you can find us in the back of the cafeteria. It was nice to have a chance to talk to you!"

       * * * * *

Where's my angel, my naked soul?

Please don't hide from me.

       * * * * *

        Saki's first day of school was different to say the least. The attack over something as trivial as her assigned locker didn't really surprise her, but being 'saved' was a shocker. Two kind souls had offered her the essence of friendship, and she was afraid. No one became her friend without having some sort of twisted desire to gain something from her. What could they want from her? She was scared, but at the same to curious to know what it would be like to have real friends like in the novels she read.

        She made sure to pack up her books and writing utensils slowly during her last class, mathematics, to give time for Motoko to finish her business at her locker. She wasn't too eager to run into her again so soon. Most of the students rushed out of the classroom at the sound of the bell, ignoring the last minute shouts of the teacher dictating their homework for the night. Individually placing her pencils and erasers inside a small case, she zipped them up. When she was done, she looked up to see Tohru who already had her books stacked neatly in her arms.

       "Hello, Hanajima-san," she greeted. She had noticed how ridiculously slow that she was packing up, so she decided to come at see how Saki was feeling. She was still worried about her from earlier, and was making a point of trying to help as much as she could. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. Those girls from earlier won't be out by your locker because they're members of the 'We Love Yuki' club, and they meet every Monday in one of the classrooms." She smiled at Saki, completely understanding what it was like being pestered by those girls. "Are you okay now?"

       "Ah, yes, I'm feeling much better. Thank you." There was still that curiosity about her kindness that made her wonder if would really be okay to become friends with her. Perhaps she would agree to join them for lunch next day after all.

       "I'm sorry, I've really got to run. I've got somewhere I need to be, or I would have asked you to walk with me."

       "Oh, are you a member of that club?" Saki asked, remembering that Motoko was angry that a girl named Tohru was getting closer to the one they called Yuki. The name Tohru wasn't all that common, so she had made the assumption that both the Tohru she had heard about and the Tohru standing in front of her were one and the same.

       "The 'We Love Yuki' club? Me?" Tohru squeaked out, a blush visible on her cheeks. "No, I'm not a member. I just have a part time job that starts in about fifteen minutes. Which means I've really got to go. See you tomorrow in homeroom!" She waved and escaped the room quickly before anything else could be asked.

        Saki looked around the room; even the teacher had already left. She picked up her things, headed up to her locker, then left school, heading for home. Even though she knew she had nothing to fear because of Tohru's information, she still moseyed on her way home. She didn't particularly feel like returning home to detailed questions from her mother about how her day was, but she knew she'd have to face the music eventually.

        After the somewhat long walk, she opened the door to her house to find it already unlocked. The house was extremely quiet, more than usual. Her siblings were usually home before her. She headed upstairs to her room. She entered the room to find someone sitting at her desk, a small boy with short, pitch black hair facing the opposite wall. He swivelled in his chair, slowly for effect, spinning around to face her while stroking a pure white cat in his arms.

       "Megumi, you startled me," Saki said as she sat on the edge of her bed and dropped her backpack to the floor.

        He grinned at her. "I've been waiting since I came home from school for you to come in. I borrowed the neighbour's cat so that I could do that stunt - actually, I'm surprised they let me borrow her. They must have thought that I was going to put a cruel curse on them if they didn't let me." He set the fluffy cat on the floor, and she bolted for the open closet door where a cat carrier had been set. Saki's large walk-in closet was actually Megumi's room; their house was rather small for the five children and their parents, so that was where he lived. There was enough room in there for a futon and a small end table, and Megumi was happy enough with that. He wasn't the sort of person who was impressed by material goods. They had electricity wired into the room so that he could have light, since there were no windows in a closet. Instead of the closet, Saki stored her clothes in a large dresser which the brother and sister shared.

        They shared more than just a dresser, they also shared similar hardships. Yes, her brother Megumi was like her. While she was vexed by the constant bantering of spiritual energy, he had a different sort of supernatural power. If he concentrated on a person's name, he could curse them. They were both feared because they were so different. Megumi wouldn't curse people, that is unless he had a good reason to do so. But still, his reputation of hurting the people who bullied him caused everyone to leave him alone. Saki just didn't have the heart to strike back against her predators - she always thought that she was the one at fault, so she couldn't possibly fight back.

       "I have something for you," he told her, his goofy smile gone. He handed her a hard covered book that looked pretty old. The binding was worn and the edges of the cover were abused from use. Saki's eyes widened at the word written across in bold characters on the outside of the book: Curses.

       "Where did you...?"

       "Grandma actually found it in her house, and she thought you'd find it interesting." He swirled in his chair slowly as he spoke. "Since you're having trouble accepting it."

       "Accepting what?" Saki asked slowly.

       "Your powers," he answered, as if the answer was obvious. "I know that there's nothing I can do about the fact that I can hurt people if I'm not thinking straight, and I've accepted that. It helps me have control over what I do and do not want to do to the people. I have the choice; I've been perfecting my rituals over the years."

       "I know that I can hear things that I shouldn't. I know that's how it is!"

       "But have you accepted that?" His voice was completely serious as he stopped spinning to stare straight at her.

       "Yes, I have," she said, slightly shaking as she lied to herself. "But I'm not like you, I don't hurt people like you do." But you can if you wanted to. You've done it before, that boy you attacked you is living proof. If you wanted to, you could hurt anyone who has ever hurt you in the least. You know you want to. She fell back on her bed, covering her ears with her hands. "I don't want to!" she screamed out at the voices that surrounded her.

       "Saki!" Megumi stood up and ran to her side. "What is it?"

       "I...don't...want...to accept this. This part of me is horrible." She closed her eyes tightly. "I'm a horrible person."

       "Embrace your powers, Saki. It doesn't have to be like this." He stared at her as she wept silently.

       "You can't hear it, can you? You don't know what it's like, Megumi!"

       "If you accept this aspect of yourself instead of bottling everything away, you'll be in control. You can stop whatever waves you don't want to listen to. These bad signals, push them out of your life. You don't have to listen to them if you're in charge of yourself."

        She sat up, and opened her eyes to look at her younger brother. He was three years younger than herself, but he understood himself more than she did. He was wise beyond his years for certain. Was this because he had accepted his curse?

       "Read that book. It'll help you."

       "Megumi, I just want the voices to stop all together. What use can they be? I almost wish I could give up my soul. If I had no soul, I wouldn't be able to interpret what the waves try to tell me. I want to be at peace. I don't want this part of me to exist."

       "But you need to understand, this is a part of you that you need to accept. If you don't accept it, you'll become nothing. Aren't there good waves out there that you want to experience?" His words made her mind flash to her protectors at lunch. Their waves were so calming and made her desire their friendship. "You'd lose that too, I'm sure that waves are important to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to return the cat." He gave her a feather light pat on her head, then left with the caged cat.

        You'll become nothing. It's important to you. It'll help you. Embrace your powers, Saki.

       "I can't do it," Saki told the empty room. "I don't quite understand yet."

       * * * * *

You're like a runaway with no escape zone.

For your sake, we'll try to face this.

Please don't hide from us.

Don't you hide from us, please don't.

Where is our angel?

       * * * * *

       "Really?" Tohru exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. It was a few minutes before homeroom, and Saki had told her that she would eat lunch with them after all. "I'm so happy!"

       "Glad to see that you've finally come around," Arisa said as she sat down on top of the desk behind Tohru's. "We'll meet you at your locker then."

        So that was how Saki found herself walking through the middle of the school cafeteria with a loaded lunch tray, following her two new friends to an empty table at the back of the cafeteria. The cafeteria was noisy with excited teenagers talking about everything imaginable. Saki felt overwhelmed by the amount of energy in one room - her last school had been much smaller, and she had always chosen to eat outside away from the student population. She could hear not only their speech, but also the cacophony of the spiritual waves they broadcasted.

        She sat with the two, and they ate their lunches fairly quietly. After a few minutes of silence, Arisa spoke up.

       "Oh man, I've got a huge biology test coming up next week. I'm doomed since I skipped too much of that class and I really don't know what they're talking about anymore. My teacher seems to have a thing against me, I don't get it."

       "Have you talked about it with him? Maybe he doesn't realize that he's being rude to you." Tohru suggested.

       "Well, sort of. I asked him what I missed while I was away, and he said that I should have done something about it earlier because we've gone onto new topics already. I'll bet if I were someone with higher marks, he would have given me the notes. He's such a jerk."

       "I have biology the same period as you do, just with a different teacher. The content's basically the same, so you can study off mine on Sunday if you want."

       "Great, that'll be perfect!" Arisa gave a thumbs up sign and Tohru smiled.

       "Mom always says that it's almost like your duty to help someone when no one else can," Tohru said, thinking of her kind mother.

        Their conversations drifted from subject to subject, constantly settling on one particular person whom both girls seemed to admire greatly. Tohru referred to her as her mother and Arisa called her Kyoko. Both seemed to be in awe of her, almost as if she were a great legend. Tohru seemed happiest when speaking about her.

        Saki had remained silent throughout their conversations. She really wasn't sure she could input into their discussions. She felt so different from them - almost alienated. She pushed a final potato chip into her mouth, and then stood up. "I had better go - I should study for my next class. Goodbye to you both. Tohru, I'll see you in math class."

        Both sets of eyes travelled up to Saki's dark ones. Tohru immediately rose. "Is something wrong, Hanajima-san?" Arisa remained in her place, but looked between the two standing girls.

        Saki wondered when she had become so easy to read - maybe she really wasn't as expressionless as she thought she was all those years. Maybe it was just that no one had ever commented on her expressions before. These two were so different from anyone else she had ever met. She didn't belong with them, they were too above her. "I'm sorry, Honda-san, Uotani-san. I can't stay here with you two." She backed up a few steps, then fled the cafeteria, weaving between the occupied tables and chairs.

       "Did we do something to offend her?" Tohru asked, worried.

       "I don't know," Arisa looked after her fleeing image. She had already walked out the "I think we'd better go check on her."

       * * * * *

Please don't hide from me.

Where is my angel?

       * * * * *

        Saki slid a small piece of metal into a slot. The door of the bathroom stall was now locked, and she was completely alone. It felt so safe to be contained in that little area. Tohru and Arisa both seemed so much more knowledgable about everything in the world - they had a great influence in their life that helped them through their tough times. She didn't have anyone's footsteps to follow, and it hurt. She should have been happy for them, but she couldn't help feeling the pangs of petty jealously. She thought that she was supposed to be at peace, but coming to terms with her powers meant putting herself out there in the real world, unprotected from human nature.

        She heard the main door of the bathroom swing open, and cautious footsteps entering.

       "Hanajima?" She recognized the speaker as Arisa. "You in here?"

        She watched two sets of feet pass by her stall.

       "Hanajima-san, are you alright?" Tohru asked. Saki could see she had stopped moving by the feet on the other side of the door.

        Saki shuffled her feet against the floor, she was still confused. "Why did you come here?"

        Tohru sounded more confused. "Why? To find you, of course."

       "No, but why? .... I don't understand this. No one has ever come to find me before like this. Everyone's always afraid. .... I can't understand why you two are so different that you'd come. There are things that you two don't know about my past."

        Tohru's voice became softer. "Hana-san, even if we don't know you very well yet, you seem like you have a kind person beneath your skin. Everyone always deserves chances to prove themselves in life."

       "Yeah," Arisa automatically agreed. "I've had some 'interesting' things happen in my life that I'm sure most people wouldn't approve of, and I know Tohru has some decent dirt in her background too. We understand that and wouldn't want to judge you by your past."

       "We'd really like it if we could become friends. We can help you out, and we want to accept you."

        There was a sound of tight metal pieces scraping against each other - the door had been unlocked, and Saki walked outside. She bowed, and said, "Thank you." Her long hair hung in front of her face as she did so, hiding the small tear rolling down her cheek and the small yet beautiful smile forming on her lips.

Author Notes: Chapter 2; Completed July 8th 2003, Revised and Uploaded August 5th 2003.
Whoa, that was one long chapter. (Well, for me at least X.X) Yes, Kyoko was being talked about in the present tense. What does this mean? She's alive right now! Hoorah. Saki won't be teary forever, she's just working through some tough times, ne? This fic is so depressing in a lighthearted acceptance kind of way, sigh.
* * * * * * * * * * Altered Excerpts from "Angel" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics