Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Rising Affections ❯ Is it love? ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Rising Affections
WARNING: this story may contain; citrus, lemon, lime, yaoi, yuri, adult themes, sexually explicit materials, monosodium glutamate, and is processed on a conveyer that also processes nuts.
Disclaimer: I don't own it. (No really? If I did why would I be publishing it for free on a fansite?) The characters are the property of Natsuki Takaya and anyone she has given license to.
AN: Yep it's a m/m with some Lemony goodness. So if that bothers you by all means don't read any further.
Chapter 1 is it love?
They rode home in near silence, neither one wanting to mention the third party that was absent from the car, if not their thoughts. It seemed strange without him there, even though he was just serving his time in detention for a stupid practical joke he played in one of his classes. Detention wasn't a new thing to the boys, but this was the first time they hadn't all three been in on whatever it was that had earned the punishment. Ayame had asked his cousin if he should claim to have been a part of it and get detention with him. Shigure had just snorted and told him not to bother; it wasn't like Ayame would actually get his hands dirty helping him clean the classroom after school.
The car turned onto a less well paved older roadway. Light reflected off thin clouds of dust that slowly filtered in through the slightly cracked windows. Ayame thought it looked like little sparkles and magic. Hatori saw dust and light particles in a gaseous suspension. Despite being the best of friends they were nothing alike. Even their appearance was opposite, Hatori tall dark and solemn and Ayame only slightly shorter, but pale and impulsive.
It was unusual for the smaller boy to be so quiet, his long silvery hair a match for his mercurial personality. It wasn't that he didn't speak at all; he had asked Hatori about his test scores and had told him about the art project he was going to do next week. He just wasn't as exuberant about keeping the conversation flowing as usual today. Hatori wondered if he missed Shigure's company that badly and why the notion irritated him.
Ayame was deep in thought, `Why am I so nervous, it's not like we don't spend every day together. What in the seven hells is the matter with me? I am sooooo messed up.' He leaned his head against the cool glass of the window as he let his mind try to sort through things.
Earlier in the school year, one of their classmates had made a pass at him. Usually he'd just give him the brush off. Being the most feminine looking guy imaginable and going to an all-boy's school, he got a lot of that sort of attention. Looking and acting like he did most of the school had him pegged as a flaming fag. He didn't blame them. He wondered himself at times. Some of his more entertaining fantasies included doing things with another boy and, more than once, he found himself looking at Shigure's girlie magazines, and paying more attention to what outfits the girls were wearing than the girls themselves.
This day was a little different than most. It had been a bad day, the cold weather kept him inside and lethargic. His reading assignment for literature class was the driest thing ever written so of course, much to his embarrassment, he had fallen asleep on his desk. Shigure and Hatori were working on a science project over lunch hour and they were so wrapped up in it they had been ignoring him, so he was feeling alone and left out. When the upperclassman had approached him he started to turn his advances down out of habit, but then a thought flashed through his brain. `Why not? Maybe… maybe it will be okay.'
So he played along with the other boy this once, flirting, and teasing some. Ayame allowed himself to be lead to a secluded corner of the gymnasium. The first few kisses were awkward, but the older boy seemed to know what he was doing and soon they were making out in earnest. `This isn't right…I don't really want to be doing…this… not with him.' “I can't do this,” he said simply to the boy backing away.
“What? You little tease,” the other boy had said. He looked pissed, but he made no move to stop him. Ayame gave the boy what must have been a truly miserable look because he cooled down immediately, even starting to seem a bit concerned. Ayame just shrugged and walked away. It was one of the few times in his life when he couldn't think of anything brilliant to say. He hadn't heard any more about it and for that he was grateful. In fact he went out on a limb to keep the boy and some of his friends from being expelled later that year to return the favor.
He wandered around, thinking for the rest of the lunch hour. After about fifteen minutes, the realization dawned on him and he knew he was in big trouble, because the problem really hadn't been that the guy was the wrong gender. It was that he wasn't the right person. When things started to heat up the thing that filled his mind, heart, and soul was how much better this would be if it were Hatori's arms around him.
It had taken him weeks to come to terms he could live with. In his mind he wasn't gay, not really, but just a bit off or something, because he was absolutely in love with Hatori. He couldn't help it, couldn't change it, and scary as it seemed, didn't want to anyway. All he could do was try not to think about it too much, which he usually did pretty well at by nattering on about whatever subject entered his head. Today he was quiet because he was afraid of the particular thoughts he was chasing around, getting out. He was pretty sure Hatori would run screaming for the hills if he told him how he felt.
The car pulled into the Sohma estate and the young passengers stepped out onto the main drive without sparing a word of thanks to their chauffeur. It wasn't expected, these were two of the junishi. Cursed with the spirits of the Chinese zodiac, Ayame, the snake, and Hatori, the dragon, they were special; apart from all others.
“Let's see if those people made us anything good to snack on,” the shorter boy said, tilting his head to the side, causing his long silvery hair to cascade slightly around his shoulders as he waited for his friend to nod in acceptance of the invitation. It was a given that they would go to his house, the boys did so almost every day. They entered the house; no one greeted them at the door. `Damn, forgot, market day.' Ayame went into the kitchen and found a bag of dark karinto crackers and some sodas to wash it down with; not great but it would do until the servants got back from the market. There was a note on the refrigerator door, Ayame's parents were going to be out late, no big surprise; they usually were. (It was nothing new.) They had important positions in the family business and responsibilities that kept them away much of the time. The situation suited Ayame just fine.
The boys grabbed the snacks and headed to the bedroom where the radio was. It had lousy reception but it was music to listen to while they did their homework. They settled in; Ayame on his bed and Hatori at the small desk. Shigure's spot on the window seat was unnerving in its vacancy. It was quiet except for the fizzy music from the local station coming in over the radio. It was as if the boys couldn't think of anything to say to each other without him there to start the conversation.
Hatori immediately started doing his homework and didn't seem uneasy with the lack of conversation, but before long Ayame couldn't stand the quiet any longer. He stood and walked over to his dark haired cousin, draping an arm over his shoulders, and peering at his schoolwork. “Too bad `Gure got caught, it's boring without him here,” he whined.
The other boy, tensing, pulled away to look up at him, “So you find me boring?” he asked, mildly raising an eyebrow.
Ayame could feel the pain behind the simple question. All of the junishi knew about loneliness most had been abandoned by their parents to some degree or another. To have said something so careless, so much like a rejection to Hatori, of all people, he didn't know what to say. “I…I didn't mean it like that.” He sighed, putting his arm back around his friend. “I just meant it's quiet today without him here. I love your company, `Tori, you know that.” He gave the tensed shoulders a quick squeeze. Hatori leaned back again as Ayame rubbed his shoulders. “You are tense” he murmured. “I know; I will ease your tension with a wonderful massage, my dear friend, to make up for my careless words,” he stated cheerfully. `It won't hurt anything if I don't let myself enjoy it too much.'
Ayame began kneading and massaging Hatori's shoulders while telling him all about how massage is actually good for increased circulation and flexibility in muscles, and how it makes the body's energies flow smoothly if done right. “And you are supposed to rub toward the heart at all times to keep everything in balance…” He went on and on about it for quite a while. Eventually he fell silent, realizing Hatori wasn't listening to him anyway.
Hatori could feel the muscles in his shoulders start to loosen as his cousin worked them. He leaned forward, putting his arms on his lap, allowing more of his back to be reached over the chair. Slowly Ayame worked his way down to the middle of his cousin's back and back up to his shoulders. It was a warm lazy afternoon and Hatori just relaxed and let his mind drift.
Ayame was entranced; feeling the strong muscles on Hatori's light frame, breathing in his scent. He only half realized what he was doing, when he leaned his chin on his friend's shoulder, closing his eyes. Ayame went from rubbing his cousin's back, to running his fingers up and down the back of his neck with a light feathery touch. Hatori leaned into it, accepting the light caresses without a word. Ayame felt him move and opened his eyes. His heart almost stopped beating; there was Hatori, his jade green eyes half lidded as he looked over at him, arching his neck for more attention. He looked so tranquil, so sweet, that Ayame couldn't stop himself he leaned forward around the back of the chair and kissed the boy gently on the lips. Hatori's lips were warm and soft, just like he'd always known they would be. He kissed him slowly; this was what he'd dreamed of for such a long time. Hatori tensed, reaching up to push him away, but didn't have to since Ayame had already backed off.
Hatori's eyes flew wide open. `That did not just happen!' Sure, Ayame rubbing his shoulders felt good, and the light touches on his neck were pleasant, even kind of relaxing. But that didn't mean he wanted anything like that to happen. Did he? Right before it had happened, he had been looking at the silver haired boy, thinking how nice he was being and how peaceful he looked with his eyes closed like that, but when he had opened his eyes; in the amber depths there was something he had never seen there before, a warm, mesmerizing light that was just for him. Then Ayame had kissed him and even worse, it felt really, really good. Ayame had kissed him so sweetly, so tenderly, it had sent shivers down his spine. His brain put the brakes on, and came to a screeching halt; `I can't even think this…' He shook his head a little. `This is my cousin, my male cousin. It's perverted. What was he thinking? What was I thinking?' He stood up to face Ayame.
Emotions flashed across the other boy's face: hope, pleading, fear. He was breathlessly waiting for Hatori to make the next move. Ayame chewed his bottom lip, tears beginning to gather on long silvery lashes, waiting for the rejection, he was sure was about to come.
This was his best friend, `He looks so vulnerable right now…' One of a very few people who mattered to him, a confidant that knew his secrets and his soul as well as he did himself. `Why do you have to look at me like that?' There was no way he was going to hurt someone who could look at him with such love in their eyes. `Damn it, Aya!' He stepped forward, `How could I reject you?' and took Ayame's face gently in his hands, returning the kiss with one of his own. The other boy seemed to melt into him with a sigh, his slender arms winding around him, kissing him back.