Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Selfish ❯ Suspicion ( Chapter 11 )

Suspicion

 

Chapter Eleven

 

Staring at the ceiling directly above his bed, Kyou found himself trying to count the small depressions in each of the tiles to get an exact number on each. If he could compare the differences of punctures on each tile, see if each square varied in number of holes, sooner or later the tightening in his groin would have to dissipate and let him fall back to sleep.

 

At least that's what he'd been telling himself for about the last hour.

 

Things had gone from bad to worse in the past couple of weeks, the dreams occurring every few nights. Those nights left him drained and he often woke in the middle of the night unable to settle his mind for several hours. Because of this, his focus had been off during the day as well. Daydreaming about Tohru had lost him a match this past week, something his Shihan hadn't been happy about at all. It should have been an easy win for his team, but he'd been too distracted and his opponent had found an opening.

 

This had all been before this latest dream though. `I'm screwed…seriously…How can I even look at her now without seeing…' Slowly swallowing, his eyes scanned to the other side of the room where his roommate slept peacefully, oblivious to the predilection of his feelings.

 

“You are so beautiful.”

 

“You aren't supposed to say that to me, stupid girl.”

 

“I know, but you are and I just had to tell you.”

 

Every muscle in his body contracted at the memory of the dream he'd woken up from earlier. It was going to take a hell of a lot more than just counting holes in the ceiling get his head out of the gutter. `Damn it…when did I become such a damned pervert?' Of all the people he'd met in his life, it had to be her that he found he couldn't get out of his head, that he wanted to selfishly keep to himself and she, of course, had to be the one person he'd never be able to let himself be with.

 

`Definitely not like that!' he thought, feeling his cheeks heat as the image of his fingers gliding over her flesh flashed through his mind. Clenching his eyes shut, hoping that would help even a little to get the impression from his thoughts but knowing deep down it wouldn't do a damn thing.

 

“I swear to god I'll never be able to look her in the face again after tonight,” he whispered to himself. Never in his life had he been tempted to do what he was about thirty seconds away from doing, hell…he'd never found himself in this situation until she'd appeared. `It's like she flipped some dormant switch when she appeared.' Sighing, Kyou slid his feet on the ground, knowing he was adding yet another sin against her to his list of things he had no way to pay back.

 

Carefully pushing to his feet, he made his way over to his closet to grab a towel; already knowing even a cold shower wouldn't be enough to rid the affliction. Guilt ate at his chest, in contrast to the rest of his treasonous body that only seemed to tighten in anticipation of his submission to its demands. Taking out a light blue towel, Kyou turned toward the bathroom, glancing at Tohru as he took his first step. `I am the worst person! If you knew what I planned on doing you'd be—wait…is that?'

 

Halting in his steps, Kyou held his breath as a single tear slipped down Tohru's cheek. Mesmerized by the image, Kyou couldn't move as another tiny pearl slid down the side of her face. `She's…crying?' The silence in the room was shattered an instant later as a muffled sob made Kyou focus his attention on his roommate, something that came as a surprising `quick fix' for his affliction.

 

Staring at her, Tohru's eyes were closed and she appeared to still be sleeping. `That's impossible though, right?' Curiosity getting the best of him, the towel dropped from his fingers and onto the floor as Kyou's feet cautiously moved toward her. The gentle sobs made her entire body shake; he didn't think she'd stay asleep for long with the intensity of her cries. For several long moments after reaching her side, Kyou just watched, intrigued by the phenomenon before sitting on the edge of her bed.

 

Arm moving with deliberate slowness to avoid startling her, Kyou's fingers moved to brush away the trails of tears on the cheek nearest him. The moment his skin touched hers, her eyes opened with a start and body lifting off the bed to sit as she stared back at him unknowingly, fear in her eyes. “Hey…Hey…it's just me,” he whispered, heart racing by the expression of panic on her face. He knew the instant she recognized him though, her eyes softening even as the tears continued to fall.

 

“I-I…Akito…she said…I can't…Kyou-kun!” Before he even had time to process her words, the touch of her mouth on his stole all thought from his head. Hands gripping his shirt tightly, his shock rendered him stupid, unable to react for a long moment as her mouth drew on his with the desperation of someone starving. The shuddering sob that wracked her body startled him out of his shock just as his body started to respond to her kiss.

 

Forcing himself away from her, he pushed a little harder than he realized, the back of his head connecting with the edge of her desk with an impact that turned his world black as he fell to the floor. Hands lifting protectively to cover his injury, Kyou's head swam as he tried to piece together what had just happened as Tohru's apologies rang in the room, her sobs only getting louder. Kyou found himself beyond confused, wondering what the hell had just happened.

 

“I'm so sorry! I just…she said you would…then you were there. I was—I was so happy, I d-don't know,” she stumbled over her words, tears streaming down her face as she stared at the floor. She was purposely avoiding eye contact with him, which Kyou was grateful for since he couldn't seem to tie two thoughts together beyond `she just kissed me'.

 

“Just…stop crying, okay,” he growled, rubbing the stinging pain on his head. Frowning, he stared at her feet, tugging at his collar as the tee shirt around his neck suddenly felt too small. “I shouldn't have tried to wake you up, that was my fault. I just don't like hearing you cry, especially when you aren't even awake.”

 

“I-I was?” she asked quietly, her voice shaking as she spoke. “I didn't mean to wake you up…”

 

“You didn't,” he replied sharply, feeling heat rise up the back of his neck at the reminder of what he'd been about to do when she'd interrupted him. “I'd been awake for about an hour. I was going to take a warm shower to relieve some stress when you started crying.”

 

At least it wasn't a total lie, though it wasn't what he'd call `stress' that he'd been wanting to relieve. Face burning scarlet, Kyou couldn't even look her in the face after everything that had just happened, guilt crashing down on him like a strong weight. “I'm sorry,” her voice quiet, the tears hadn't stopped yet but they had slowed down. “I don't know why I did that. I've just…this dream just scared me. I was so upset then…I woke up…you were there.”

 

“You're fine,” Kyou replied, finally looking up from his place on the floor to look at her. “It was just a dream, everything is fine. Why don't you try to go back to bed?”

 

“I don't think I can,” Tohru answered, wiping some of the wetness from beneath her eyes. “You know when you have those really vivid dreams? It was one of those and I don't think I can sleep right away.”

 

`Yes, I know all about those vivid dreams. I just woke up from one of them!' Sighing, Kyou ran a hand through his fiery hair in frustration. “Okay, is there anything that would help?” Chewing on her lower lip, Tohru wrinkled her nose up in thought before looking down at him. A slight blush covering her face, she shook her head in the negative before turning away from him again. “Yeah…I don't believe that. What are you thinking?”

 

Head whipping back to him, Tohru's cheeks flushed a deeper red as she looked at him with surprise. “It's nothing…just something my mom did for me when I was little.” Closing her eyes, she shook her head quickly in embarrassment as she turned away from him.

 

Still off kilter from the events of the last several minutes, every nerve in his body felt as if it had been through an emotional rollercoaster. Maybe it was the guilt at being stopped from what he'd been about to do, or maybe his head was still experiencing after effects from that kiss she'd given him. Either way, he needed to get away from her and give her some space to get back to sleep. “Just tell me what she did,” he found himself saying. `Damn it! That's not what I wanted to say! Why did that come out?'

 

There was a pregnant pause as he waited for her to answer, breath held with dread of whether she'd actually agree or not. Heart beating wildly in his chest, he couldn't calm the way his stomached flipped, making him feel more than a little nauseated. `Why does she always make me feel pulled in fifteen different directions?' It had gotten past the point of driving him nuts long ago, part of him wanting to do everything the other part was desperately trying to avoid.

 

“I…um…It's okay. I'll be fine,” she managed to get out after an overly long period of time. “She just used to rub my back and have me tell her about the dream. Mom always said once you got it off your shoulders, you'd feel better.”

 

`Yeah, something tells me your mom wouldn't want me touching you. Especially not after the dream I just had…' Dragging a hand down his face in exasperation, Kyou knew setting a finger on her was completely out of the question. Even thinking about it made his body do things he'd rather not have to deal with at this exact moment. Still, he didn't want her crying or anything anymore. “No, if it would take your mind off things, at least talk about it. I mean, it's not like you're dreaming about that damned rat or anything. That you can just keep to yourself.” `Baka…she's not the one with the perverse dreams!'

 

Still, she giggled and laid back down on her bed, which managed to calm the neko down a little. “No, the dreams were about—” She trailed off, face coloring in shock as she appeared to gather her thoughts and weigh her words. To his surprise, her face suddenly paled as tears welled in her eyes again. “I'm sorry, it was just so real. You'll probably think I'm completely being stupid. I mean, it's just silly. It was just a dream, it wasn't real. Don't worry, I'll be fine.”

 

“You're crying; you aren't fine!” he growled, glaring at her even if she wasn't looking at him at the moment. Instead, she was trying to furiously wipe the tears from her eyes. “Whatever it was shook you up, so just tell me what it was so we can both get back to sleep!”

 

 

“I've just been having some weird nightmares lately,” she said quietly, almost as if she was talking more to herself than to him. “I mean, most of them haven't been bad but…they've all been extremely real. I know they aren't though, but it's just strange. I mean, she said you'd be locked up after your high school graduation because you were the cat. Just because they thought you were some sort of monster because of your other form. You're here now, so I know it's stupid to think that it could be anything other than a dream…”

 

His hands shook, bile rising into his throat as he tried to process her words. `This isn't happening, how does she? I can't…this isn't possible!' Of all the things that could have come out of her mouth, he never would have possibly thought that there was a remote chance in hell that it could be that. `I think I'm going to be sick. Really…really sick.'

 

“Oh! I am probably making no sense, am I?” she exclaimed in horror. “You must think I am a terrible person to have these dreams or something. I know it's not true so it's not like I really think that if someone took your beads you'd—“

 

“Stop!” he yelled, the sudden word slipping from his mouth before he realized it had been trying to get out. Now that it was out, he wasn't quite sure what to say or do. She knew, or at least was dreaming about something that no one else knew outside of his family. `Dreaming about me?' Overwhelmed, his mind was completely shot and he couldn't think straight about anything. “I-I…that is…”

 

“I know it sounds weird, but I was happy,” she said quietly as she leaned back down onto her pillow. “Being by your side, it made me happy and having someone threatening to take that away…” Closing her eyes, she chuckled softly to herself. “Most of them have been good.”

 

Shaking his head, Tohru's face settled into a more relaxed expression as she slowly fell back to sleep. “Most of them?” he asked quietly, wondering if she'd answer the question before slumber claimed her. His chest constricted painfully as the silence played out between them.

 

“…dreams…always…together,” her voice so quiet, he had to strain to hear her words. He wasn't even sure if he'd understood them correctly but all he could do was stare at her in stunned horror at this turn of events. Unless someone had told her, which he wouldn't think anyone would, somehow Tohru had dreamed about how he transformed when his bracelet was removed.

 

To make things worse, somehow she'd dreamed about the fact that if he hadn't beaten Yuki, he would have been locked up in the neko room after graduation. Thankfully, he had beaten the rat, so that fate hadn't ever played out. As Tohru said, he was here now so that didn't matter. It still didn't explain the fact that they had been dreaming about each other lately or that Tohru's dreams had revealed something that no outsider should know about him. `Heh, almost like the dreams are showing us…I shouldn't even think that way. Talk about wishful thinking, damn I'm a pervert. Still, there's gotta be an explanation for all this!'

 

Dragging his hands down the sides of his face, Kyou searched around the bedroom as a ball of dread churned in his stomach. Eyes landing on Tohru's desk, he eyed the pictures sitting there and focused on the photo of Tohru with Uotani and Hanajima. Several times he'd wondered how he'd never heard mention of the girl if she'd been such good friends with them. It wasn't like he wouldn't have recognized the name if they'd mentioned her, Tohru wasn't a common name for a girl. “Tohru? You still awake?”

 

The low groan that came from her bed he took as meaning `yes'. With a hesitant sigh, he had a feeling her answer would only bring more questions but he needed to know. “Why didn't you go to high school with Uotani and Hanajima?”

 

Her eyes fluttered open, attempting to focus her attention on him as they begged to close again. “…I…did. You k-know…that…” Lids closing as she succumbed to the call of the night, Kyou just sat there in stunned silence staring at her.

`That's not possible. I went to school with them. She wasn't there!' Drawing a shaking hand through his hair, Kyou tried to swallow past the dry lump in his throat but only managed to choke on the bile that threatened to reject everything he'd eaten that day. “This isn't making any sense,” he whispered, staring at his hands as he placed them back on his lap to calm their shaking. “I would remember meeting her before, I couldn't forget something like—“

 

Blinking in realization that there was a memory of his he'd been missing, Kyou's eyes slowly widened as everything began to sink in. Breath held; the neko slowly crawled across the floor as the dread in his stomach churned in anticipation of what he might find. `I don't remember ever beating him. There wasn't another way to get my freedom without beating him, so why don't I remember it?'

 

The single missing memory combined with the information he'd just discovered from Tohru had him second guessing everything he knew as fact. “Forgive me; I just need to know…” Reaching the side of her bed, Kyou gripped the edge of her blanket with a trembling hand and carefully folded it down past her hips. Clenching his eyes shut, it took a soothing breath to gain the strength to accomplish the feat in front of him.

 

`Just don't wake up. Don't wake up!' Chanting in his head with his eyes scrunched tightly, Kyou carefully reached forward until his fingertips touched the satiny fabric surrounding her body. Holding his body as still as granite, he cautiously opened his eyes to maneuver the fabric beneath his hands. Sliding his fingers down slightly, Kyou reached the edge of her nightshirt, shifting his hand and direction of his movements away from himself. When the pads of his fingers touched the skin on her stomach, he had to bite his lower lip to prevent himself from reacting vocally to the feeling.

 

He apparently had no control over his roommate though, the contented sigh combined with the shifting of her body managed to press his entire hand against her flesh in a move that sent a rush of heat through his blood. Frozen still, Kyou gritted his teeth together and waited for Tohru to either, wake up and find him accosting her or settle back into her sleep so he could finish what he'd started. `Don't move…Don't move…'

 

Several seconds later, neither had moved a muscle and Kyou figured it would be safe to finish his investigation if he went carefully. Clenching his eyes shut again, the neko exposed inch by inch of his roommates flesh by touch alone. Once he reached a point he knew would be enough, he cringed and carefully opened one eye. Almost instantly, he found what he'd been searching for and his face fell in devastated defeat.

 

There was a mole just where he remembered seeing one in the dream he'd woken up from.

 

Living with her, he'd never caught her in any awkward situations like she had with him. If he'd seen any skin beyond what was typical on a daily basis, he would have remembered it. He'd had a hard time keeping his eyes off her, so he would have remembered.

 

`There is no way! This…isn't possible. How?' Glancing back at his roommate, he leapt away as if burned by fire, dropping her shirt and letting it settle around her to cover his discovery. Getting to his feet, his legs were shaky as his mind tried to process the information he'd uncovered. There had to be another explanation, he needed there to be one.

 

`Hell, any explanation would work! I must be having another breakdown or something. The guilt…maybe this is all a dream. I mean…it could be just a coincidence. Maybe I saw the mole one day by accident when she…oh hell…I'm fucking going nuts.'

 

Shutting the door behind him, Kyou hadn't even realized he'd left the room until the click of the latch reverberated through the hallway. At the moment, he only had one question going through his head, the answer to it would help figure out what exactly was happening to him and Tohru.

 

Making his way down the stairs, he found himself in front of the room he needed. Taking a deep breath in preparation, he pounded on the door and waited for an answer. Several seconds passed without answer, so Kyou lifted his hand to knock again when the door swung open. The occupant stared back at him unseeing, but Kyou didn't care. He needed his answer.

 

“Don't lie to me! Did I really beat you?”

 

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A/N

Wow…maybe that makes up for my lack of chapters lately. Two updates in the last couple of weeks. I can't believe I did a whole chapter in one POV too. I hope everyone is enjoying it! Things are really starting to pick up for our favorite couple. (Or maybe I just like to torture them too much!)

Thanks for Reading!!

Sari

 

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I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just `borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone.

Sari-15