Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Servant to Love ❯ Control ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Fandom: Fruits Basket

Pairing: Shigure x Akito

Title: “Servant to Love”

Theme: The Sexuality or Terror, or “Help, I'm out of control, thank god!”

LJ Author: Pikapicokitt

Disclaimer: Don't own any of Fruits Basket and the below mentioned song `Girl Like You” is property of Bertine Zetlitz. Spoilers ahead!!

A/N: This is a fic for the 30_lemons LJ community. Forgive me for the utter mush within this fic… I wanted to dig a little deeper into Shigure's thoughts and express how I felt (or maybe just wanted) the way he wanted the relationship with Akito to go. Do forgive me if he's a little too out of character for your liking…I just wanted to try my luck with a romance piece for once.

If you wanna live inside my head…

Wanna see what I have said…

I will make you tremble

You'll tremble (I will make you tremble)

That's fine with me.

His body quivered with the effort to hold on. Her body was testing him, pushing him past a point of no return and he clung so harshly to his control. It was hard, so terribly hard to not simply spill himself, every drop of himself, within her. Her body-- her body was so delicious; with its curves and dips and bends in the molds of flesh that made her. Her voice was husky, trembling with a deep lust as she called out for more. The shudder grew more evident in his limbs; in the way he held his body just barely above hers, while it begged to be quenched and collapse in a sweaty pile atop her. He couldn't give in, couldn't allow her the control. She had to go first, had to cry out his name in that final thrall of passion as her world was enveloped in sparkling white. He hissed as her nails dug into the flesh of his back, leaving pert whelps in their wake as they raked downward. He couldn't take it. He admitted the defeat to himself and arched harshly into her as his hips pumped mercilessly against her; giving all that he was to her as he cried out her name.

If you want to scream outside my door…

I'll make you holler even more…

I will make you sorry

So sorry (I will make you sorry)

That's fine with me.

She was in a mood today. When was the great Akito not in a mood? Her voice rang, fast and sharp through the hall. Whatever she was bickering about was beyond important. Things were never `important' with Akito, they just simply were. When she asks you a question you must simply agree. When she demands your attention, appeasing her is the only answer. When she advances on you, with that sharp tongue, those searching eyes, that confident body…Shigure lost himself in thought on that part. How startling his little Akito was, his beautiful, tortured, and talented little Akito. He was pathetic. He knew better than anyone how pathetic he was. No one loved her more; no one tested her and adored her more than he did. No one played the fool better than he did. He loved her, cherished her, and above all suffered for her. Put himself through despair for one glimpse of her body, one caress from her feminine figure. His god—no goddess, who's very soul was owned by. The dog was a fool, always was the fool, and would continue to be the fool for his master until there was no breath left in him to love her more.

I will make you understand forever…

I'll make everybody disappear…

I will make you hold my hand forever

Till I'm standing clear.

He watched her, the little flecks of anger lighting her dark eyes as he denied her the affection she desired. In his eyes he gave her everything but also denied her everything in the same fatal swoop. He was her slave, she was his. They were constantly caught together in a spiral of love and hate and desire. Sometimes, usually at home when he was writing or reading, he imagined scooping her up within his arms, hugging her so tight she might break with the weight. However, to be compassionate when Akito wasn't looking for it was dangerous. Feelings and bodies became hurt by her if they acted out of accordance. Yet, as he watched her, the anger as she screamed at him making her cheeks flush; he noted her livid frame was bent in an angle over him that revealed her body through the neckline of her kimono. He sucked in a breath, fingers tightening in the fabric caressing his thighs. He was becoming excited, watching as her breasts swayed with each sharp intake of air as her voice rose in volume. His eyes turned up to her, their excited and intense nature making her realize that he wasn't paying attention to her words.

Magical

Mystical

Life's a ball

Never had a girl like you…

Her lips were taunt, unyielding against his for a brief moment before she sighed against them and sunk into his lap. There was no way for her to fight him, no way for her to deny him his one right as a lover. When he touched her body, threw it into pleasure, not even reality was capable of disturbing her. Her body grew hot, prickled with an ever unknown sensation wherever he touched. It hadn't even been a day; it wasn't even night, but how she longed to feel him again. She cried out as he left his mark on her neck; sucking, nibbling, biting, anything that would make his presence known; that would stake his claim. Her fingers tangled in his hair, her body arching to mold firmly against his. He enjoyed the feeling of her breasts, even through the thin material they both wore. He enjoyed the flush to her cheeks that trickled along her body, the way her mouth was opened ever so slightly in an oncoming moan. This way, her body so pliant and yet so unsure it brought a sense of innocence to her that no one but he would understand. In these moments, these few precious moments just between foreplay and sex, his love for her destroyed him. She never heard it, through her moans and cries to move faster, that soft sob that echoed from his heart. If she ever once stopped to listen, he was sure the sheer pressure of his desire would destroy her.

Insecure

Give me more

Not so sure

Never had a girl like you…

As he pushed against her, within her; he watched her face, eyes closed tight. He never lost it; he never asked more of her, he was always in control. That control was slipping, slowly, surely, with each time their bodies combined, his control faded even more. Their chests heaved against one another, his body working faster, striving to fulfill her. Her hands, brushing against his skin and through his hair, made him delirious. Like this, so close, he could almost believe she loved him. With their bodies working so hard to please the other, to match the other, he could almost believe she was capable of such things as love. He bit his lip, how he longed to ask. Would she answer him truthfully if he were to ask her? Would she tell him she too loved him with all she was? He highly doubted that, so to keep the ever burning question behind his lips he kissed her; deep, passionate, with only the feeling of lust. Her arms circled around his shoulders, face tilting to further accept his lips and tongue. He could at least believe, in this state, that she couldn't deny her want for him.

tu sais que jet e vois You know I am watching you

je fais ca tout le temps That's all I ever do

tes main, tes cheuveux Your hands, your hair

tu es partous, toujours You're everywhere I see

He opened his eyes, as he did many times, to watch her. He smiled as the passion glowed on her face. Surprise shot through him as her eyes opened to stare back at him. Making love, like this, their eyes locked was beyond what his mind could even hope to describe. He couldn't understand an ounce of emotion that shone in her dark orbs. His face twisted in concentration, his breath fast and ragged, he watched her until he felt the emotion dripping into his eyes and turned them away. Akito didn't allow him this privacy, securing her hands on both sides of his face she made him turn to look at her again. She caught the fear there, the complete fear of being discovered and used for that weakness. She could easily imagine what he was thinking as his pace slowed considerably, occupied with other thoughts. Yet, while never witnessing those eyes while making love, she wasn't blind to them. They were eyes that burned into you whenever you stared at them; that she had always felt cast on her back when she wasn't looking. What was she to do when they were so much more intense, when she really had no choice but to be captured by them as she was driven toward ecstasy? Shigure didn't know that he was not the only one with those sad, loving eyes. They were always like that, always watching each other when one wasn't looking. There was always a fear of some kind to shy them away from expressing their true feelings. Shigure would believe that in the throngs of desire he would be the only one acting out of love; and because Akito was afraid of loosing that wonderful control she held so dear, she would allow him to continue thinking such absurd things. They held control too far above everything else; that was their one true flaw.

tu sais que jet e vois You know I am watching you

je tente de reveler Just try to see through

le mots bizzares Those crazy words

que tu veux me donner You keep serving me

In the aftermath of orgasm, as they lie there curled around one another on the tatami-mat floor, he sighed into her ear.

“Akito…”

“Hmm?”

“Are you tired?”

“A little”

“Would you like me to carry you to your bed?”

“No”

Shigure thought for several moments, testing the situation and her calm mood despite his better judgement.

“Akito…”

“Hmm?”

“Ah… nothing…”

“Don't call my name if you don't plan on saying anything”

Shigure nodded, watching her tired form slowly fade towards sleep. He reached up, letting his fingers caress her face before speaking again.

“Akito…”

“Hrnnn, now what?”

“I love you”

“Hmm? What was that?”

Akito came out of her tired haze slightly, not having actually heard what he'd said but the tone had sounded important.

“You're falling asleep…I'm going to take you to bed now”

“Hnn, alright”

She allowed herself to be carried, barely aware of anything at all when he laid her down and curled in beside her.

“Akito…”

“Hmm?”

“Do you love me?”

“A little”

“Really??”

Shigure was answered with silence, Akito now fast asleep, clinging to his larger frame. He smiled softly, simply watching her. Even if it wasn't true, he could always dream.