Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Tainted Choices ❯ Distant Memories ( Chapter 6 )

Tainted Choices

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or its characters. They belong to Takaya Natsuki.

Chapter 6
Distant Memories

After her revelation Tohru had ran off into the woods. He sat there stunned, not knowing whether he should run after her or leave her alone.

“I wonder if she has told Kyou? If not, when he finds out he is going to go berserk.”

He decided he would go after her, not wanting her to be alone. He called his rats to help locate her and he found her curled into a ball and whimpering. Her hair was matted with wet leaves from crawling through the underbrush and nestling herself into a moss covered cave, really more of a nook because it was too shallow to allow her to enter completely. She seemed completely out of it. Even though it was obvious that she saw him, she seemed to look right through him as if he wasn't even there.

“Tohru-kun? Are you all right? It's okay I am here with you. You don't have to worry. I will help you raise the child and love it as my own.”

Tohru suddenly looked at Yuki with a sad expression. Her eyes filled with tears and they overflowed, cascading down her cheeks and said, “No. I will not raise the child.”

Yuki shook his head in disbelief. “What do you mean you are not raising it? Are you giving it up for adoption or to your family?” he asked with confusion. Tohru paused; trying to steel herself against what she knew would be a violent reaction.

“Yuki-kun, I wanted to be able to help all of the Sohmas. So, Akito-san told me he would tell me how to break the curse but it would require me to willingly become impregnated by a man who was not a Sohma. Then, when the child was born, I would have to give it up to Akito-san so that he can raise the child as his heir. I didn't have any choice.”

Yuki's eyes were filled with despair. How could he have brought someone else into his personal hell?

“Willingly? You let a man rape you to save us? We are not worth that kind of sacrifice! Tohru-kun…we have to run away and take the baby with us. Somewhere where Akito won't be able to find us…I have suffered under Akito's wrath and I can't allow an innocent child to go through what I have had to endure all of my life. Besides, I don't think Akito even knows how to break the curse! He is just toying with you!”

Tohru took Yuki by the hand.

“No. I can't leave. Akito-san told me that if I refused he would erase my memories of you and my memories of my family and friends. I just can't bear the thought of him doing that to me. I cherish every memory I have. I would cease to be Tohru Honda if I let him take them away. I know Akito-san has been evil in the past but I think he can change and I feel that having a child will temper him. He needs someone to love him unconditionally and my mother always said having a child helped to tame her. I just wanted to help all of you.” She said innocently.

“Tohru-kun, I know you feel there is good in everyone. And maybe, just maybe, Akito will change for the better. But you have to remember that the baby will stand a real chance of being harmed by him…either physically or perhaps worse, emotionally. Look at me Tohru-kun! I am a product of Akito's so called love! I can't even socialize with normal people because I feel like I always have to hide my true feelings. I am trapped in a cage I can't escape! Do you want your child to grow up like that? Do you?!” he screamed as he broke down in tears and fell to his knees. “Please! Don't do this!” Tohru placed a gentle hand on the back of Yuki's head as he slumped forward, his tears creating a miniature river in the dirt. She could feel Yuki's whole body trembling under her touch.

“Yuki. I don't know if what I am doing will turn out perfect. But, I do know that if I don't do everything in my power to help you and the rest of the Sohma's I would never be able to forgive myself. People tell me sometimes that I allow others to take advantage of me too often. And maybe that is true, but I really feel like this is the right course to take. I also believe that everyone is capable of change. Even Akito.” Yuki shook his head in frustration. He took Tohru by the upper arms and shook her, screaming, “No! He will never change! You can't understand! He will never, ever change!” with a deep-seated mixture of fear and hatred showing in his purple eyes. Tohru knew the feelings were not directed towards her but it was still shocking to be screamed at with such rage. Especially when it came from Yuki who normally was so calm and collected. Tohru started crying and said, “I'm sorry! I am sorry! It's my fault! I am so stupid!” She got up and ran away toward the house. “Why do I have to be such an idiot? Even though I knew that she had our best interests at heart…I couldn't just stand by…not in this case…That was the first time I can remember showing such fragility in front of anyone. Save Akito. I have to go apologize…I didn't mean to scare her…” he thought.

Tohru sat in her room on the floor, curled up under her favorite comforter her Mom had bought for her a month before she passed away. She hugged her Mother's picture close to her chest and cried.

“Mom…what will I do? If there is a chance to save them I want to. But, I can't let my child be hurt by Akito. Maybe I offer to be a nanny for Akito so I can watch over the baby. Oh, Mom…I just am so confused and scared. Why did you have to die?”

She whimpered and rocked back and forth. She heard the door open and someone padded across the floor and knelt down beside her. She knew by his careful footsteps that it was Yuki.

“Tohru? Are you all right? I didn't mean to frighten you…”

She peeked out of her blanket and said almost inaudibly, “You didn't f-frighten m-me…I brought this upon myself. I am so stupid…”

Yuki took her face in his hands and made her look into his deep amethyst eyes, “You are not stupid. You are the most thoughtful and self-sacrificing person I have ever known. And…I admire you for that. We will get through this somehow. Even if I have to move into the Main House myself to look after the child I will. I love you, Tohru Honda and I don't want you to ever forget that.”

With that, he kissed her deeply. And she clasped onto him, as close as possible without making him transform, never wanting to let him go.

“Yuki, don't ever leave me. I will move into the Main House and watch over the baby as a nanny. I don't want you to live as Akito's pet ever again! Akito will need someone to wet nurse the child.”

Yuki looked with concern into Tohru's eyes and saw she was determined.

“Tohru, I know the only way you feel you can help us is by sacrificing yourself. But, what if we could get away where no one can find us? We can raise the baby and live together somewhere far away, like America. Really, being cursed isn't that bad…it comes in handy at times.” Yuki said quietly, trying to convince himself.

Tohru sighed and fell back into her pillow, “I don't know Yuki…I am scared to lose everything I care for in this world. If I have to endure a little pain so that those that I love won't have to, I will. I have thought about this and I have to try and help. The child will be fine. I will make sure of it.” She said with as much conviction as she could muster.

Yuki stood up and with as calm a face as he could he said, “That doesn't change anything. I really will stay with you and help you the best that I can. If you choose to do this and I can't talk you out of it you are going to need support. Be careful how you tell Kyou though. I don't think he will be able to control his outrage at the situation. I barely can.”

And with that he turned and walked quietly from Tohru's room into his own and shut the door.

In his room Yuki looked for something to punch. He was enraged at the thought of Akito torturing another child and disgusted with himself for not protecting Tohru from his twisted plots. And, for the first time, he felt angry with Tohru. How could she let Akito talk her into giving up her innocence? She knew what Akito had done to Hatori and to little Kisa. How could she ever think a monster like that would change? But, he knew, he knew why Tohru could believe such a thing could be true. She had a special ability to see the good in any situation and in any person. She either couldn't or wouldn't believe the world was filled with evil, deceitful, horrible people. Maybe this false sense of hope helped her deal with losing her father and then her mother at such young age. Yuki knew as he thought through the “whys and hows” of the situation why he loved her. It was her hope that helped him believe he was worthy of love and it was her caring that helped him start to open the box he had his heart locked in. She had always been that way too, ever since she was a little girl in the park.