Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ The Book ❯ One-Shot

Title: The Book

Author: Christi Morelei

Series: Fruits Basket

Couple: Ayame/Hatori

Rating: PG for sadness. No real bad language or sex. There are religious references and emotional scenes, but that's about it.

Summary: Ayame discovers a secret that Hatori has been keeping from him. Shounen-ai.

A/N: I can never find any good Ayame/Hatori fics; hell, it's hard to find much FB yaoi fics. I love it so much, and I'm so disappointed that there are never much good fics out there! So I decided to write one myself. I originally decided to write a smutty PWP, with blasphemous religious references, but all of my FB fics inevitable turn out to be sweet fics with sweet endings, despite the fact that they're all yaoi. One day I'll write a smutfic. You'll see. You'll AAAAALL see! *insert evil cackle here*

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is © Natsuki Takaya. If it were mine, there'd be more incest in Fruits Basket than Angel Sanctuary and Revolutionary Girl Utena combined. End of story.

~~~~~

I read your book
And I find it strange
That I know that girl and I know her world
A little too well
And I didn't know
By giving my hand
That I would be written down, sliced around,
Passed down
Among strangers hands.

-Sheryl Crow, "The Book"

~~~~~

Ayame hummed to himself as he flipped through the pages of a worn book he'd discovered in Hatori's office. He'd stopped by the main house* to pay a visit to his handsome doctor comrade, but to his dismay, discovered that Hatori was not in at the moment. It was a little after noon, so Ayame figured his friend had probably gone to lunch and would be back soon. Hatori wasn't the type to stay away from his personal office at the main house for too long. It was a surprise that he'd even left for lunch.

So, the impatient snake spirit had decided to pass the time by browsing Hatori's office for something to spark his curiosity for the time being. So far, he'd been unsuccessful until he'd come across the book he held in his hands. It had been in the second drawer on the right in Hatori's desk.

It was very thick and the Japanese print on it was awfully small. Ayame frowned once he started reading the book, disappointed that there were no pretty pictures, or any pictures at all.

It was known to the people closest to him that Ayame had an awfully short attention span, so it would have been quite a shock to see Ayame actually reading something that was not a fashion magazine.

He sighed and tucked a strand of silver hair behind his ear, tossing his body upon the futon that resided itself in Hatori's office. It was often used for ill members of the Sohma family who came to visit him. However, Hatori's office did not reek of medical alcohol or diseases.

Lying on his stomach and propping his torso up by his elbows, Ayame began perusing through the book once more. It was awfully wordy, something that required more attention than Ayame had to spare. Various words and phrases like God and Adam and Abraham and Jericho and Ezekiel were scattered throughout the book's delicate pages. Ayame yawned, skipping over several hundred pages labeled Psalms until he arrived to a section a little more than halfway through the book were his eye caught the word Jesus.

Jesus… Jesus… that sounds familiar… I seem to remember Ha-san telling me something with that word…

Ayame snapped his fingers. "Ah!"

He recalled an incident that had occurred about a year ago when Hatori had just moved into this particular office.

*FLASHBACK*

"Ha-san," Ayame whined, putting on his best pout face. "Nobody will want to visit this stuffy old office of yours if you don't make it seem more presentable! How about a Tiffany lamp? Or perhaps some better furniture? I know a great designer-"

Hatori sighed and shoved an armful of books into Ayame's. "I don't want to hear your suggestions today, Aya. Just arrange those books on that bookshelf in the corner there." He let out an aggravated sigh and thought to himself, `Maybe I should've asked Shigure to help me today instead…'

Ayame pouted again in disappointment. He gave up and began putting the books in no particular order on the shelf. "At least find some more interesting books than these…" He mumbled.

"They happen to be medical books, Ayame. I don't think you'll find a doctor's office without them." Hatori answered, busily positioning various medical instruments on shelves.

Ayame huffed as a response, but stopped as he came across a book that didn't agree with the other titles he'd come across. It was awfully thick. Holding it up, he attempted to read what the English title emblazoned on the cover in gold letters said.

"HOL-EE BYE-BUL… Ha-san, what is this book?"

Hatori turned around and snatched the book out of Ayame's grasp, sliding it next to the other books on the shelf.

"It's a book on Christian mythology. You know, Adam, Moses, Jesus. You've heard it mentioned before."

"Christian… Ha-san, you know the Sohmas aren't exactly friendly towards religion. Why do you have it?"

"For research."

"It certainly doesn't seem like something a doctor would want to research…"

"Just drop it, okay?"

Ayame blinked at Hatori's outburst. Usually he never snapped at him unless he was acting overly flambouyant.

He shrugged. Ayame didn't like going against Hatori's word often. Running a delicate hand through his long hair, he began moving more books onto the bookshelf.

*END FLASHBACK*

Ahh… so that's where this book came from. I never did find out how Ha-san got his hands on this anyway.

Ayame sighed and had almost decided to put the book back where it came from if he hadn't noticed a small inscription on the back cover.

PROPERTY OF KANA SOHMA

Ayame's eyes widened in shock. Even more shocking was what the small piece of paper that had fell out of the book read. With trembling hands, Ayame picked it up and read the inscription.

"Dear Ha-kun,

This book has been in my family for several generations. It's considered an honor to receive this book from an upper family member to a newlywed couple. I figured you might like to see it.

Love, Kana"

There was silence in the room as Ayame lie on the futon on shock, his mind swirling with thoughts of Hatori and loneliness and lies and deceit and Akito…

The door to Hatori's office slid open. Hatori stood there, staring at the sight in front of him.

Speak of the devil.

"Aya, what are you doing here?"

Ayame's eyes narrowed as he stood up with the book and paper fragment in his hands. "I think the better question is…" He straightened his frame out, staring directly into Hatori's eyes angrily. "Why do you still have this?!"

In frustration, Ayame threw the book at Hatori. It hit him in the chest powerfully and Hatori fumbled to catch it. His eyes spelled surprise as Ayame's fists clenched in and out of pure anger.

"Aya, what… what are you…" Hatori looked down at the book in his arms and immediately became enraged. "You were snooping around in my things again, weren't you? I told you never to do that again!"

"That's not the point!" Ayame shrieked. "How come you never told me you still kept that damned book?!"

"How come you never told me that you're a nosy liar who just can't listen to reason?!" Hatori retorted.

Ayame looked hurt. "Hari… we've been through everything together; I thought there was nothing about you I didn't know… but I guess I was wrong."

Hatori sneered. "Sometimes people want to have some secrets of their own."

"But why didn't you tell me, Ha-san?! You know all I want for you is the best, and keeping that book isn't helping you at all-"

"What would you know about it?!" Hatori yelled back. Ayame was shocked. Hatori never yelled at him. "You never went through what I went through! You never knew her! And trust me, I know you! You'd keep everything that reminded you of her so that you'd remember everything about her until the day you died. You'd keep yourself cooped up inside your cozy little room, thinking nothing of the way she smiled, the way she looked at you, sheltering yourself from the outside world and only living in the memory of what could've been! Well, I'm stronger than that! I'm stronger than you or Shigure or Akito could have ever been in my situation! You don't know-"

A loud SMACK interrupted Hatori's rant. Ayame's hand connected with the left side of his face, hard. The spirit of the snake stood there, shaking out of anger. His eyes burned with hurt and frustration and his chest heaved from harbored breathing. When he spoke, it was dangerously low and dripping with rage.

"You… don't know ANYTHING, do you?" He spoke. "If you think I'd never understand what you went through, then you obviously don't know me at all. If you think… if you think that I could never truly know you, then it's your own damned fault for never opening up to me.

You always seem to harbor this idea that you're better than anyone and everyone who touches your life, including the people that love you the most and have been there since day one!" Ayame began shaking even more. "How can you ever expect people to understand you and love you even more than she ever did if you don't open your life to others?! The only reason you think you're better than everyone is because you're too scared to allow someone inside that brick wall personality you give off! You're too afraid to let go of the past and embrace the future! How can you live like that-"

"SHUT UP!" Hatori yelled. "I don't deny the past, Aya-"

"That's because you live in it!" Ayame reached up to slap Hatori again, but the spirit of the dragon caught his wrist and snatched the other with his hands, pulling Ayame towards him and shoving him up against the wall roughly, still tightly gripping his wrists.

"Nobody will ever love me more than she did… and nobody will ever love her more than I did… you can't ever hope to change that, Aya…"

Ayame winced from the pain Hatori's body weight was causing him as it shoved him harder into the wall. "Ha… ha-san, stop it… you're hurting me…"

"If I'm the only person you'll ever obey, then why won't you listen to me?! Because you want what's best for me?! What makes you think you know what will make me happy??"

"Because…" Ayame choked as Hatori's knee punched him hard in the stomach, albeit not on purpose, but effective to keep the snake from escaping his grasp. "Because I love you…"

Hatori's eyes widened and he let go of his grip on Ayame, causing the snake to fall forward, coughing loudly and breathing raggedly. Hatori gasped softly as he remembered Ayame's weak physical condition.

"Yeah… that's right… I love you." Ayame inhaled deeply and shakily stood up, staring up into Hatori's eyes pleadingly. He was on the brink of tears.

"You… love me? How…" Hatori stuttered, in a state of near-shock. "Why… why?! You can't love me… you shouldn't love me... nobody can love me…"

"Nobody but her?" Ayame spoke grimly. "This may come as a surprise to you, but… I've always loved you. But I know now… that I can never have you, because you'd rather live inside your own little fantasy world with faded memories of a heartbroken romance that never could've been rather than acknowledge than somebody else but her could ever love someone like you."

A tear fell down Ayame's eyes and he inhaled shakily. "As long as you keep your emotions bottled up inside of you and never tell people how you feel… you'll never go anywhere beyond what you were with Kana. You'll still cry yourself to sleep every night, berating yourself for what you did and regretting… what might have been."

"A… Ayame…" Hatori didn't seem to be able to find the words to describe what he was feeling at the moment. So many different emotions towards his long time companion were rising up inside, and he felt a lump in his throat.

"And you'll… you'll never…" Ayame let out a sob, clutching his own frame as he trembled. "You'll never see people for who they… who they really are…"

And you'll never be able to love someone the way you loved her…

Ayame stumbled forward, holding his hands out and grasping Hatori's hands. He looked up into his eyes, streaked with tears though they were.

"Please… for those who love you… throw away the damned book…"

Hatori gasped as Ayame's body fell limp in his arms and immediately transformed into his grey snake form.

His body had finally given out from all the exhaustion it had put up with. Ayame was tired, both mentally and physically, and a combination of stress and Hatori's physical gestures had broken him down for the time being.

Hatori quickly laid the sleeping snake form onto the futon. He then knelt to pick up the book and paper fragment that were on the floor. For a moment, he stood there, staring from the book in his hand to Ayame's animal form.

He finally clenched his fist and tucked the piece of paper into the book, then threw it across the room where it landed in the trash bin.

~~~~~

Ayame's eyes fluttered as he stretched, sitting up. The first thing he noticed was that he was completely naked, his clothes lying on the floor next to the futon. The second was that he was wrapped in a soft blanket. He quickly wiped his eyes and looked around at his surroundings. I must've transformed…

Hatori was sitting at the edge of the futon, staring at him. Ayame suddenly felt very vulnerable, his fist clutching the blanket.

"Ah, you're finally awake… good." Hatori, expressionless as always, simply sat there waiting for Ayame to speak.

Ayame didn't smile nor did he speak at first. His mind quickly relayed everything that had gone on before he had transformed and fallen asleep. He bowed his head slightly, pulling the sheet off his body and reaching over to pull his clothes back on.

"It's not like it does any good… nothing's changed… you're still the same…" He muttered.

Hatori quickly moved closer towards Ayame. "Aya, wait…" The spirit started sniffling and Hatori could sense that he was going to start crying again.

"N-no need to worry about me, Hari… you can just… stay here by yourself and I'll leave you alone… that's what you want, right? Of course… after all, there's nothing I can do to change you… or to change the past…"

Ayame was cut off as Hatori moved even closer to him and suddenly cupped his chin to look up at him.

Ayame blushed at the sudden contact as he was forced to stare deep into his friends' eyes.

"Stop crying." The next gesture Hatori did caused Ayame to emit a soft gasp. Gently, he leaned over to kiss away the tears that stained Ayame's face. "You look much better without those tears marring your pretty face…"

Ayame was in utter shock at Hatori's actions. And then he did something to shock him even more.

He smiled.

It was a happy smile, a gentle smile. The only time he had ever smiled like that before was when he was with Kana.

"Ha… Hatori, wha-"

He pressed a finger to his friends' lips and pressed their foreheads together. Hatori spoke softly, as if soothing a small child.

"You said exactly what I needed to hear, Aya. The book is gone. I threw it out."

Ayame's face lit up and a small smile began to curve upon his lips. He quickly wrapped his arms around Hatori's shoulders and embraced him tightly. "I'm so glad…"

Hatori wrapped his arms around Ayame's slender frame, the both of them forgetting the snake's nakedness briefly.

The dragon spirit pulled back, tilting Ayame's head upwards to press their lips together momentarily. They both closed their eyes at the contact, still holding each other.

After the kiss, they both basked in the bliss of each other. Ayame leaned against Hatori's chest as Hatori gently stroked his hair, holding his body close to him.

Ayame smiled genuinely. "I love you, Hari…"

Hatori whispered into Ayame's hair. "I love you, too, Aya… I always have."

~~~~~

OWARI

~~~~~

*So sue me, I can't remember if Ayame lives inside or outside the main house. -_-;;

A/N: That's it. Yeah. Really. Sappy, huh? I think this fic turned out better than my last FB fic. (I need to stop writing songfics, dammit! ><)

Feedback is greatly appreciated.