Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ The Butterfly Effect ❯ When Pursued ( Chapter 5 )

Quick Vocabulary:

Onigiri Rice ball

nezumi rat

Chapter Summary: It hurts. But it's a good kind of hurt. Or maybe not.

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya/HAKUSENSHA - TV TOKYO - NAS - Fruba Project.

Warning: Rated R for language, implied rape, torture, and adult situations.

/Chapter 5: When Pursued/

/Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you./

-Nathaniel Hawthorne

Pain. Pain. More pain. And then.... Oh.... It all makes sense now. Tohru has never felt this free, this alive. Suddenly all the strange colors and shapes that she has been seeing make sense. She will never be able to thank the boys enough for this. And to think that it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't complained. Maybe the butterfly is right about standing up for herself....

*Damn straight I'm right. And it's all thanks to me that this is happening now.*

'No it's not! I remember how this happened!'

###

The boys absolutely forbade Tohru to get out of the car if they went into town. "You turn into a butterfly. If some idiot bumps into you, you are going to be killed by your own clothing."

Tohru didn't want to spend the rest of her life hidden away from the rest of the world. When she said as much, the boys exchanged a series of looks.

"There is something that you can do to make yourself safer."

Kyou looked vaguely uncomfortable- purples were shifting in and out of his orange halo. He recovered himself and continued to speak. "You already know that we turn into animals when non-cursed members of the opposite sex hug us or bump into us. We can also change if we get really sick or extremely upset. What you probably don't know is that we can actually force ourselves to change into our animal forms. We start practicing when we are children so that we can learn to control some of the changes. Shigure used to get the rat and I to practice all the time so that we wouldn't accidentally change forms if we were having sex... Um... what I mean is...."

Yuki, in an uncharacteristic display of mercy, smoothly took over from Kyou. "What the cat is trying to say is that there are situations that would normally cause a change that can be avoided by practicing control of the change. Unfortunately this doesn't work for hugs or hard bumps, but it does work for extreme emotions or light knocks. Actually, I'm surprised that you didn't remain in your butterfly form when you were so badly injured."

The butterfly was unusually serious. *'You would have died and I am fundamentally selfish. I had no desire to disappear with you. My healing abilities kept you from changing.'*

Tohru smiled uncertainly at Yuki. "I think that my butterfly kept me from changing and healed me so that I wouldn't die."

Yuki gave her a hard, penetrating stare, black flaring at the edges of the grey. "Well that is quite the talented spirit that you have. I don't know that any of the other animals could have done it."

"Aw, leave her alone, nezumi.... Tohru looks like she's probably healed enough that she can practice changing."

Yuki almost immediately took on an expression of concern. "Are you sure? Hatori did say that she should rest for weeks-"

"-And now she's walking two weeks ahead of schedule. I think that she can do it. Besides, it will make everything a lot easier if she can go out in public without being afraid of transforming."

Tohru was very tempted to tell them that she was standing right there. She could practically see the butterfly smirk inside her head. *'Good girl. Just keep thinking like that.'*

Yuki seemed to have reached a decision. "I'm probably about her butterfly's size when I transform. Why don't I work with her on the transformations and you teach her some simple martial arts moves to avoid bumping into people?"

"I'm not going to let you see her naked, you pervert!"

"You've both already seen me naked- why don't you both watch the show?" Oops. Tohru actually said that thought out loud. *'Yes! I am a good influence!'*

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the boys seemed to chalk the statement up to Tohru's incredible naivety rather than the result of an evil voice in her head. They also seemed to agree that the only way Tohru would be doing any transformation was if they were both watching and that Tohru would need to try the initial transformations without any clothes.

So, once again, Tohru found herself stripped naked in front of the boys.

The butterfly, as usual, had something to say about it. *'They must be gay. There can be no other explanation for why they haven't jumped you yet. Although... wait... I think that Yuki might be enjoying the show. Either that, or he's packing an awfully large wallet.'*

Tohru discovered that she was getting a lot better at ignoring the butterfly. Apparently the boys were also getting a lot better at dealing with naked Tohru because they were both calm and professional when they started to instruct her.

"Okay, in order to do this, you're going to need to focus inside your head and find the part of you that feels different from the rest of you. That part will be your animal spirit."

*'No shit.'*

Tohru suspected that the boys' spirits weren't nearly as different from their minds as the butterfly was from hers.

"Feel the connection between that part and the rest of you. It should feel like a thread or a piece of string."

As Yuki spoke, Tohru could see the red string in her head that attached the Tohru-spirit to the butterfly-spirit.

"Very gently, pull on that string. Let the butterfly merge with the rest of your mind."

She must have done this before, after all, she had known that she was a butterfly, but the change felt completely unfamiliar. It also hurt more than she could ever remember hurting. The butterfly seemed truly apologetic. *'I'm sorry, onigiri. Because of the way that I became a part of you, it will always hurt to transform.'*

Now, fluttering above the porch, hovering over the boys' outstretched hands, Tohru can safely say that this freedom is worth any amount of pain.

###

"Are you okay Tohru?" Kyou sounds surprisingly business-like.

"I feel great, thank-you." Her voice is very high and wispy and it hurts a little to talk. Tohru decides that the boys don't need to know about the agony of the transformation.

"Here. Fly around for a little while, but don't fly too high and don't try to hold your form for more than five minutes."

Yuki is almost wistful when he speaks. "You really are a red butterfly.... You are very beautiful, Hon- Tohru." Tohru knows that he is only talking about the butterfly form, but something inside of her burns at his words.

Tohru doesn't think that she is supposed to hear Kyou's whispered reply. "Yes, you are very beautiful." She also doesn't think that she is supposed to burn even more when she hears Kyou.

Really, this butterfly business is a lot trickier than she would have thought.

She lands briefly on Yuki's outstretched hand, running her feelers over the pads of his fingers. As a butterfly, the fine shiver that runs through Yuki's body feels like an earthquake. She rises quickly and flutters past Kyou's face. His eyes close as her wings brush him. "That tickles." His laugh is joyful, innocent. It is one of the most beautiful sounds that Tohru has ever heard, only matched by Yuki's soft chuckle seconds later.

She feels the threads in her head start to separate and she lands on the porch beside her discarded clothing. The return transformation is just as painful as the original- her human body seems to be exploding out of the much smaller butterfly. Her nerves are on fire and her hands are shaking as she pulls her dress back over her head.

"That was amazing Tohru. It took me two months to manage to transform at will. You're going to need to practice, but we'll work at showing you how to not get smothered by your clothing when you get your transformation completely down."

Apparently, it takes three more perfect transformations for the boys to agree that she can wear a light shift when she transforms. They are both tense, their auras flaring as one.

*You don't need to read their auras to know that they're tense. If you couldn't cut diamonds on their shoulders, they would probably notice that baby-doll that Aya got you.*

Tohru decides that it's probably best that they don't notice the sheer gown. She is doing more than enough noticing for all of them.

*So being naked doesn't bother you.... You are a strange, strange girl onigiri.*

"Okay Tohru, we'll be right here if something goes wrong. Now what you need to do is let yourself lie flat as you transform. You're small enough as a butterfly that you should be protected by the air pockets in the clothing, rather than flattened, if you can lie on your side."

Tohru takes a deep breath and prepares herself for the pain. She feels herself sinking to the ground and forces herself onto her side. The clothing lands on top of her and she is... unhurt. She transforms back almost immediately and Yuki lets out a very un-Yuki-like whoop, picking her up and spinning her around in the air. Kyou catches her in mid-air and pulls her in for a rib-cracking hug.

'Love you. Love you both so much.'

*And someday you may even tell them.*

###

Tohru had almost forgotten that there is a world of people that she has left behind when she is brutally reminded of all that has happened.

She is lying on her back on the master bed, listening to Yuki's even breathing- she woke up when Yuki flung his arm across her stomach in his sleep. She is starting to wonder if she should feel guilty for enjoying the warm weight when she feels a twinge inside her mind. Suddenly, she is falling into a black vortex filled with threads like those that bind her to the butterfly. These threads don't remain inside her mind though. They stretch into a vast distance and she speeds down them until she comes to the end of the bonds. There is a face there that turns towards her and spirit-Tohru screams in terror.

()I can't feel my little rat, but I can feel you. How pathetic. I don't know how we are bound or where you are now, but it doesn't matter. No matter what you do, where you go, you will never escape who you are. You are worthless, Honda Tohru. Nothing that you can do will ever change that.()

The pain is tearing her apart. She can see the threads in her mind that bind her to Akito, all throbbing with black agony. Suddenly, the pain stops as if it never was.

*Oh fuck the bitch. She can't keep that kind of shit up for long unless she knows where you are. We're safe for at least the night. So what say you and I... er 'you' check out Yuki drooling on the pillow.*

Tohru is shaken and aching, but when she looks at Yuki, her heart breaks. So much that she knows, so much that she doesn't want to remember has been returned to her. She very carefully brushes a piece of hair out of his eyes. "I promise that I will keep you safe, both of you. No matter what."

###

/Reviewer Responses/

Yecoto: Yes, my voices aren't as 'helpful' either, although I don't know that I would want the butterfly inside my head. Good luck with that killing people thing and thanks for taking the time to review!

NikeShuu: I always figured that poor Tohru probably doesn't get enough credit for what is actually going on in her mind, especially if she spent three years living in a house with Shigure. Tohru has to have a slightly mischievous side somewhere and I've always wondered how she would react to having naughty thoughts piped into her brain :) I'm very flattered by your comments on the story and I hope that you continue to enjoy Tohru's adventures.