Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ The Nightmare Before Christmas; Fruits Basket Style ❯ Jack's Lament ( Chapter 2 )

Ddc: Ok people! Let's get rolling!!! We decided last time that we'd do a song and the scene between songs each day, so let's get to work!

Kyo: We?! Who's we?!

Ddc: We as in me, myself, and I. v^_^v

Kyo: -_-;;; you're hopeless.

Ddc: Hmmm, where have I heard that before? De ja vu!

Kagura: Hey!! Sorry I wasn't here yesterday, I overslept.

Kyo: o.0 why is she here?!?!?!

Kagura: BECAUSE KYO, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS HERE!!!!!!! KKKYYYOOOO!!!!

Kyo: AHHHHHHHH!!!

Kagura: I LLLOOOVVVEEE YYOOOUUU!!!!! *starts pounding the crap out of Kyo *

Kyo: How, ow, is this, ow, showing, ow, your love for me? Ow! Crap woman that hurts!

Kagura: *stops hitting him * Haven't you ever heard the saying? "A healthy fist fight where the woman beats her man a day keeps a happy couple together."

Kyo: Yeah? For how long? Two seconds?!?!?!

Yuki: He does have a point, Kagura.

Kagura: Since when did you agree with Kyo?

Yuki: Oh, I mean, I fully agree with you Kagura, keep killing him now.

Tohru: ^_^;;;;;;;;;;;;

Ayame: Ah, my brother is so wise beyond his years. It must run in the family.
Ha ha ha ha ha.

Shigure: Yes, it must. As I have always been wise beyond my years as well. Many times I will get fan mail from old grannies saying "Oh you are such a stud, you wicked old fiend, pretending that you're only 28. I know that you are really 80!"

Yuki: How is that a good thing?

Shigure: Ha ha ha, Yuki, one day you'll understand the meaning of being too mature for your own good.

Yuki: And I assume that you still haven't comprehended that yet?

Shigure: Of course not! ^_^ I'm young and kicking!

Ddc: Ok! Enough chitter chatter. Do I have to go rabid on you guys to get you to work?!?!?!

Everyone: Yes ma'am!!!

*Scene 2 *

Yuki: *walking into graveyard dressed as skeleton again singing sadly* There are few who'd deny

At what I do I am the best

For my talents are renowned far and wide

When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night

I excel without ever even trying

With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms

I have seen grown men give out a shriek

With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed moan

I have swept the very bravest off their feet

Tohru: *is hiding behind tombstone gathering herbs watching Yuki sing when is pricked by a thorn* Ow!

Ddc: *slaps forehead *

Yuki: ^_^;;; Yet year after year, it's the same routine

And I grow so weary of the sound of screams

And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King

Have grown so tired of the same old thing

Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones

An emptiness began to grow

There's something out there, far from my home

A longing that I've never known

I'm the master of fright, and a demon of light

And I'll scare you right out of your pants

Kyo: *offstage * Uh huh sure. The only way you'll do that is if you flash someone.

Ddc: *throws spare camera at Kyo * Shut up!

Yuki: To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky

And I'm known throughout England and France

And since I am dead, I can take off my head

To recite Shakespearean quotations

No animal nor man can scream like I can

With the fury of my recitations

But who here would ever understand

That the Pumpkin King with skeleton grin

Would tire of his crown, if they only understood

He'd give it all up if he only could

Oh, there's an empty place in my bones

That calls out for something unknown

The fame and praise come year after year

Does nothing for these empty tears

*sighs and sadly walks out of graveyard and into dark forest aka cardboard trees painted black *

Tohru: *watches him leave and sighs * Oh Yuki, I wish you were happier.

Ddc: A-hem!

Tohru: *stammering * I...I mean, Jack, I know how you feel. *gathers some plastic herbs and walks back to house *

Tohru: *puts herbs into pot and hides them in cupboard *

Akito: *rolls in with wheelchair cackling * Sally, you've come back!

Tohru: Not willingly. I mean, I had to.

Akito: Because I'm so devilishly good looking?

Everyone: o.0 *anime fall *

Akito: ^_~ just kidding. For this? *holds up fake arm *

Fake arm: *flicks everyone off *

Ddc: Why is the fake arm revolting?

Fake arm: *waves *

Tohru: ^_^;;;; yes.

Akito: Shall we then? *leads Tohru upstairs *

Kyo: *offstage * AH! HE'S IN A ROOM ALONE WITH TOHRU!

Yuki: *in skeleton costume * NO!!!!!!!!

Ddc: Oh be quiet you two.

Akito: *sewing fake arm back on to Tohru * That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off...

Tohru: Three times!

Akito: You're mine you know! I made you with my own hands. Just like Yuki is mine! ^_^

Yuki: *offstage * o.0 make him go away.

Tohru: ^_^;;; You can make other creations. I'm restless, I can't help it.

Akito: It's a phase my dear, it'll pass. We need to be patient, that's all.

Tohru: But, I don't want to be patient. *tries to pout but fails miserably *

*back in forest made of black cardboard trees *

Shigure: *in dog form * Bark

Yuki: *walking with head down * No, Zero, not now. I'm not in the mood.

Shigure: *thinking: why do I HAVE to be the dog?!?! * bark

Yuki: oh, shut up you stupid dog!

Ddc: *eye twitching *

Yuki: I mean, all right. *takes a fake rib out of his jacket. Here ya go boy *throws bone which bounces off one of the trees, causing a domino effect with the other trees *

Ddc: *hangs head and sweatdrops *

Shigure: *gets bone and walks around holding red electronic glowing clown nose high *

*In Halloween town *

Haru: *dressed as Mayor walks up to Yuki's house of cardboard * Morning gents *to band * *humming This is Halloween and rings "doorbell" *

Doorbell: *sounds like a fog horn *

Haru: Huh? Um...ok then. Jack, you home? *no one answers, so he switches faces aka pulls worried mask over head and knocks, then takes off mask again. Jack? I've got the plans for next Halloween. I need to go over them with you so we can get started. *puts on worried mask * Jack, please, I'm only an elected official here, I can't make decisions by myself! Jack, answer me!!!! *falls down stairs *

Hiro: *holding accordion * He's not home.

Haru: Where is he?!

Momiji: He hasn't been home all night.

Haru: Ooo.

*back in cardboard forest that still is standing *

Yuki: *yawning wide * Where are we? It's someplace new.

Shigure: *thinking: oh don't I have great lines? * Bark bark

Yuki: What is this? *sees `holiday trees' and gasps when he sees the Christmas tree *

Yuki: Oooh shiny!

Ddc: *raises eyebrow * ookk then

Yuki: *opens door and gets `sucked in', aka Yuki Fanclub was waiting behind door and grabbed him *

Shigure: *outside tree * Bark bark.

Yuki: o.0 woah!!! *lands in Christmas Town *

*end of scene *

Ddc: Very nice people! I'm just glad that Sally doesn't have as many lines as Jack does.

Tohru: Why's that?

Ddc: ^_^;;; no reason. Anyway, I loved your acting job Shigure. To quote the British, bloody good job. Blimey, I was bloody blown away.

Shigure: *transforms back * Really? You think so?

Ddc: ^_^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Kyo: Oh put some clothes on!

Kagura: AND YOU CAN TAKE YOURS OFF MISTER!!!

Kyo: o.0 AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN AWAY! RUN AAAAWWWWAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!

Kagura: *is chasing Kyo around *

Haru: *has once again latched himself onto Yuki *

Yuki: What are you, a leech?

Haru: Yup. That's me. Just call me Haru the human leech.

Yuki: oh great, now he's not only a cow, but a leech. Are you any other animals that you are that we haven't learned about yet?

Haru: Actually, I happen to also be a bright pink bunny who wears a cute red bow tie, and also a hampster.

Yuki: -_-;;;;;;; I'm sorry I asked.

Haru: ^_^ don't be. I'm just happy that I can share my inner-most secrets with my favorite person in the whole wide world.

Ayame: *running around singing some random stuff in French *

Shigure: *chasing Ayame while singing random stuff in French *

Ddc: I don't want to know. Ok then! I'm going to leave now! But I'm coming back tomorrow, so prepare yourself for trouble!

Arisa: Make it double.

Ddc and Arisa: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!

Everyone: *anime fall *

Kyo: Wow, Yankee, I never knew you had it in you.

Arisa: Shut up you wannabe carrot! *starts beating up Kyo *

Kagura: Mind if I join you?

Arisa: Be my guest.

Kyo: T_T I'm doomed

Arisa and Kagura: *beat the living daylights out of Kyo *

Ddc: ok now I'm REALLY leaving *runs out of studio place *

Darkdemonchild: ^_^ I hope this chapter was better than the last one!!! And I want to give a special thanks to Chip for reminding me that I had completely forgotten to add in Kagura. ^_^;;;; sorry about that!!!!

And I'd also like to thank Fantasychild2007, and in response to your review, I will use all the lines no matter how long it makes this fic, but I'll also make them mess up more often now ^_~.

Also, to angel of playdo, tehe I guess I mispelled applauses, and glomps is just a word that me and my buddies use all the time, that we got off other fics. So it is sort of a word, just not an official word. Like pervertedness! ^_^

To WickedHarryPotterfan, I'm very glad that you think that chapter 1 was funny, and I hope that you like this chapter even more! ^_^ and I'd also like to say that I love your pen name, Harry Potter rules the world. ^_~

And finally from fanfiction.net, to Kamuki, I'm so happy you love it! I was kind of afraid that everyone thought it sucked. ^_^ Hope you like this chapter too!

And of course DemonandGoddess from mediaminer.org who always reviews my fics. ^_^ love ya DG ^_~. Anyway, I hope I did a better job on this chappie, and please, please, pretty please, review! ^_^ ja until the next chappie!