Full Metal Panic Fan Fiction ❯ Kurtz Webber's Valentines Day Hot Springs Mission ❯ One-Shot

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

I don't own Full Metal Panic. It is owned by Shouji Gatou

Kurtz Webber really didn't like when things didn't go his way. When it came to women, it was the most harsh. To be blunt, Melissa Mao really hated his guts. That is, she always gave him hell...especially when he hit on her. However, he really ruined his chances when he called her a not-nice name a while back. He decided to talk to Soskue about how to deal with women. Sagara had to have a talk with his fellow sergeant. After all, Kurtz had good looks, smart, funny, and loves music. It's his hormones and his mouth that sometimes gets him into trouble. Sagara laid it out, since he had business to take care of with Chidori.

"Well, you ought to request time off and go on a hot springs trip," Sagara then said.

"I hope it's not like the last one that nearly killed me," Kurtz then said.

"Actually, I found a springs that's pretty old fashioned," Sagara then said.

"Wait you mean...no steel enforced walls...no cannons...no mines?"

"That is correct, I had a long talk with the owners after Kazama came in on the men's side the wrong way."

"Still, I don't think Tessa will approve it," Kurtz then said.

"I don't know...if you invite her she may allow it," Sagara then said. "It's Mardukas and Kalinin I'd be worried about."

"That too is true...Mardukas went on a rant about how women had no tact...then shut up when Mao came in the room," Kurtz said.

"The worst that can happen to you is if they say no," Sagara then pushed.

"Nope, I've had worst," said with a smile.

Kurtz was on his way to see Kalinin. There were no problems, there also were no major operations planned. Gauron was already taken care of by Sagara for good this time. He saw Kurtz troubling over something and decided he'd better talk to him. While Kalinin is an elder statesmen of the crew...he knew a thing, or two about women that Kurtz needed to hear.

"If you're going to peep on them, do it right, and do it quietly," Kalinin then said.

"Wow, so you were a teen once upon a time," Kurtz returned.

"Yes, even Mardukas was a teen."

"I don't think Mardukas would allow himself to get caught in those kinds of operations."

"Also did you invite Sagara and Chidori along?"

"Actually, Sagara said it'd be wise if I talk to you, Mardukas, and the captain about it."

"Right, Mardukas is already on leave on vacation in Hawai'i...so you have my blessings."

"As for the captain...I’m not sure about it."

"All you have to do is ask."

Kurtz and Kalinin let each other go with a Salute. He then went to Tessa's office and knocked on the door. Things have been slow going. The terrorists have been in check thanks to everybody's co-operation. Now, it was time to ask Tessa about going to a hot springs. She had reservations. However, since Kalinin had finished recovering from his latest battle, she decided it'd be best to put him in charge for two weeks. She then told Kurtz to get everything ready. He then ran and he called Soskue.

"Well, you picked the right week," Sagara said.

"What do you mean?" Kurtz said.

"Valentines day is on a Saturday this year," Sagara then said.

"Oh right, we got to get the girls something!" Kurtz then said.

"Exactly, here is the location of the springs, and luckily they cancelled school for two weeks."

"Damn, for a stickler I'd thought you'd be upset school would be cancelled."

"Not a bit, I can use the R & R...and so could Miss Chidori."

"You know...have her invite her friends...I'll have Mao drive them up ahead of us!"

"That's a very excellent Idea, I'll run the idea by Miss Chidori."

After that, Sagara hung up and did his end of the bargain. Kaname agreed, as long as she would had been able to bring Kyoko. Ren couldn't come because of family business...and Mizuki's got Issei clamped. That is...she has talked her father into spending time alone with Issei at home. He already know about their relationship...but that's another story. Kyoko agreed, and she decided she wanted to get away. Especially the way Ono D and Kazama had been acting lately. That Saturday, Sagara arrived with Kurtz and Mao. Kurtz told Kyoko to ride with the other women. He and Sagara had business to discuss.

"Well, Sagara, thanks for coming," Kurtz said.

"You're welcome," Sagara said, "we got plenty to discuss."

"What's going on?" Kaname asked.

"Oh don't worry about Kurtz...as long as we're separated we'll be alright."

"You don't think he's going that lewd are you?" Kyoko asked.

"Nah, he's never going to be that lewd," Mao then said.

'You have no Idea,' Kurtz then thought.

Once everybody got their luggage into the vans, they were off. Sagara then ended up telling Kurtz what he needed to do. However, it was surprising that Sagara never had sex at all. Still, he told Kurtz he's better off not being lewd towards the girls. Mao really hated that. Kurtz disagreed...noting that she has a lot of experience. However, it didn't matter, since she did those deeds on her own terms. Kurtz then thought about it and smiled.

"Well, that definitely is a good thing to try to do," Kurtz said.

"It'd also be in your best interests to also give her flowers and candy...there's a shop on the way," Soskue said.

"Now I love your thinking!" Kurtz said. "A stuffed Hello Kitty doll is the surest way to get laid!"

"Do not assume a positive ending," Sagara then warned. "Always err on the side of disappointment."

"Now that I have always done," Kurtz said.

"Here take this," Sagara then said, "I asked ahead and they do have a boom box in the rooms."

"Damn, this is smooth jazz!"

"Exactly, you do want to get laid right?" Sagara asked with a smile.

"Man you've not went as far as Mao, but you have learned from my mistakes."

"Everybody has learned from your mistakes," Sagara then said.

"Right, you never told me what happed to Mizuki after that Full Monty Virus incident."

"She's with Issei Tsubaki now."

"How did that happen?"

"She thought it was one of those viruses, and wanted to get laid before she died."

"I've seen Issei throw down, that's a good get."

The two continued to talk tactics, and they saw the store. thankfully the girls didn't stop there. That gave those two enough time to get flowers and candy for those four. It was going to run them money, but it had to be done. Especially when Tessa is about. She really hates to be left out of things like this. They then hurried to the springs and surprised the four with the flowers, candy, and stuffed dolls. They then decided to check in and unpack. Kaname was rather surprised that both Kurtz and Soskue thought of those four.

"Wow, that was surprising," Kaname said, "I wondered what kept them so long."

"Mr. Sagara is always thinking of others," Tessa then said with a smile.

"I think Mr. Sagara wants to make up for all his past transgressions," Kyoko then said.

"Well, that's him trying to adjust to being in a new place," Mao then said. "Trust me we all have been there."

While the girls were talking the boys were already at the hot springs. As luck would have it, there was a knot hole in the fence. Kurtz peeked in, and he saw Tessa, Mao, Kaname, and Kyoko naked. He smiled broadly. Sagara reminded him of his mission. Plus he wanted a turn. He looked and he blushed red.

"Is this what I have to look forward to?" Sagara asked.

"Oh yeah," Kurtz answered, "I can really see that in your future."

"How would you deal with that?" Sagara asked.

"Let's move away from the gate, and speak softly."

They moved, and Kurtz told him that he would have to do everything in his power to make it enjoyable. Sagara agreed. However, he didn't want a taste of Kaname's fury if he fucked up even one time. Kurtz then smiled and he got out of the springs. He and Soskue decided to call it a day since the sun is setting. Later on after dinner...Kurtz had just came from the rest room when he should walk into Mao.

"Couldn't sleep?" Kurtz asked.

"No, I can't stand it when Tessa and Kaname have wet dreams of Soskue," Mao then said.

"No kidding," Kurtz then said, "I think Sagara is having nightmares about what would happen if he messes up in that situation."

"Oh, I knew you both were looking in that knothole," Mao then said.

"I'm kind of surprised you didn't poke our eye out," Kurtz then said.

"Actually, you've behaved yourself," Mao then said.

"In Sagara's future, I do see a threesome happening," Kurtz said with a chuckle.

Mao then smiled as she went to the restroom. Kurtz decided to go back to his bedroom. However a few minutes later, Mao came and picked him up. Somehow they ended up in a broom closet. The next morning, Sagara woke up and he stretched. He then saw Mao and Kurtz come in...and their robes were kind of undone.

"You did the deed didn't you?" Soskue asked.

"Yeah...I who'd knew that a lack of sleep would lead to that," Mao said.

"I heard you calling out Kurtz's name," Sagara then said. "So did the others."

"Was we that loud?" Kurtz asked.

"Yeah we were, but it was really good," Mao then said. "I can't wait until we get back to Soskue’s' place."

Sagara's plan really gave him more than he bargained for. He decided to go take a dip in the springs. However, the owners neglected to tell him that this is a very mixed bath. The wall was there to keep order between the two sides. He then saw Tessa and Kaname come in. Tessa took a dip naked...and he nearly fainted.

"I wonder what's wrong with him?" Tessa then asked.

"I think he didn't have his breakfast yet," Chidori said.

"Ah after this the three of us can go to breakfast..." Tessa said, trailing off in a very deep thought.

Sagara's day was going to be very long by the looks of it. Ah well, at least he helped Kurtz achieve his goal. Now he wants to make sure he survives the rest of this weekend.