Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Playing House (Yes the title sucks...shut up Dx) ❯ Chapter Three: Who ya gonna call! ( Chapter 3 )

Kat: ^^ Hey, just me this time updating, and you know... I'm gonna let you all in on a secret….WE WROTE THIS BEFORE. XD You heard it, this is a fic we do in our spare time to get out creative juices flowing. It's supposed to be random, but yeah. Now, for reviewer response!!

 

Quamp: XD No I am not about to cuss you out like others. You were right, when I was 14 (When we started this), we sucked. BAD. I personally admit it. The characters are completely OOC, you have no idea what's going on, it's a mess. ^_^ But yeah, I'm a much better writer then I was back then. And basically I dislike Hiei now, and wouldn't want him as my boyfriend. And yes, Yuggers sounds like boogers. That's why we gave that nickname. So yeahs, if you ever want to see how good I can write now, just simply tell me in a review or something. If not, I understand. ^_^

 

^^ Now that THAT is said, on with the next chapter! Bring on the criticism and flames! I love it!! It's freezing where I live~! =D

 

Disclaimer: Kat and Danielle do not own any of the characters nor do they own the animes.

 

Warnings: VERY OOC, POSSIBLY NOT FUNNY WHAT-SO-EVER, AND CERTAIN PARTS MAY LEAVE YOU STARING AT YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN BEWILDERED.

 

Chapter 3: Who ya gonna call!!!

 

After another fifteen minutes, Danielle had finally remembered. Now poor Yugi was being dragged down the hallway. Danielle ran into the guest room, and closed and locked the door. She turned around and glared at him and… mooed… like a mad bull.

 

“Why do I get the feeling I'm about to be attacked when I know that is not going to happen?” Yugi muttered. His girlfriend blanched.

 

“Wow… You're really a lot more perverted than your friends give you credit for.”

 

“Yeah, it's a gift.”

 

Danielle sweat dropped, muttering, “Sure it is.”

 

“No, really, it was a gift from Joey. He gave it to me in exchange for a couple of Calvin and Hobbes.”

 

“…Ok, sure. That sounds normal…” Danielle suddenly looked demonic. “Now what were you doing with Tea?”

 

Yugi, who had been thrown onto the bed by sheer force when Danielle turned around and shut the door, looked at her disgruntedly. Man, this looked wrong. He decided to sit up. He did. And it was good… but not better than leaning against pillows, he guessed. Wait a second, what was going on again? Oh. Oh. Riiiiiight…

 

“It's not like we were doing anything… wrong,” Yugi said stubbornly, crossing his arms.

 

“Define `wrong'.”

 

“Something we didn't do,” maintained Yugi huffily.

 

“Oh really?”

 

“We just went swimming, that's all.”

 

“You went swimming?”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“With Tea?”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“And you didn't try to drown her or steal her clothes?”

 

“No… is the stealing her clothes a trick question one?”

 

“Um…”

 

“I mean, really.” Yugi was suddenly voluble. “What would I do with them? Where would I sell them? I bet even E-bay wouldn't take those…'

 

“Nice try, but I know that the school uniform doesn't look that bad on her,” Danielle accused. “Anyway… yeah, what would you do with Tea's clothes?”

 

“I just asked you that…” Yugi sweat dropped. This conversation was going nowhere. “Look, I'm really, really, really sorry. I was just very bored and swimming sounded like a good idea. I tried to get Kat and Hiei to come, but they were…” Pause. “Arguing. Yes, arguing, that sounds plausible.”

 

"...Poophead," Danielle replied moodily. Yugi smiled in light of his girlfriend's silly rejoinder before remembering she was still surly, and therefore as dangerous as Lil' Kim with a gun and no estrogen. Not good.

 

"I'm sorry--"

 

"You cheated on me." She had her arms crossed and was delivering a half-lidded, lazy glare. Yugi didn't know what to say.

 

"Er... Yeah..." Pause. "I'm so stupid," he said to himself.

 

"I can hear you, you know.” Danielle gave him a sour look.

 

Yugi looked up at her and blinked in surprise. "Can you?"

 

About that time it started raining black rose petals.

 

“O.O Uhhh…” said Yugi intelligently. Danielle picked one up off the floor and held it in-between her forefinger and thumb. It felt so soft, like silk underwear. Yes… you know you know what that feels like. ;). She crushed in in-between her fingers and started laughing maniacally. Yugi sweat dropped.

 

Meanwhile, back to where things were slightly starting to resemble Pappadeaux…

 

“o O Call the shrimp exterminator!” Kat cried in horror.

 

“'Kay,” Hiei said, as if Kat had just told him to find her a dishcloth or not to forget an umbrella when visiting the nursery so he could poke old people while they slept. The demon went to call the, er, shrimp exterminator.

 

…Or, rather, he walked into the kitchen, where Eve was prinking herself, getting ready for her date and staring at her reflection in a metal strip on the refridgerator. Hiei smirked, sneaking up on her, and then suddenly…

 

Eve felt a chill. “Who's there?” she called.

 

“CALL THE SHRIMP EXTERMINATOR!”

 

Eve whirled around just in time to see Hiei storm off.

 

“Ok…” She looked confused. “It's not raining shrimp in the kitchen…”

 

Mai Valentine opened the door. “Did someone call the shrimp exterminator!” he asked.

 

“O.O” Eve stared in bewilderment. “No.”

 

“Oh,” Mai said.

 

“YEAH!” Kat and Hiei screamed. Aeris ignored them.

 

“Oh, okay,” Mai said. “I'll just step back outside…”

 

So she did.

 

Eve picked up the phone and called the shrimp exterminator. Immediately, Mai opened the door.

 

“Did you require my services now?” she asked cheerfully.

 

“Yeah,” Eve said,” apparently there's shrimp raining in the hallway... that's funny, in the dining room it's pumpkin pie...”

Kat gulped. “Danielle-chan's gonna kill us…”

 

“Don't worry, she's too busy killing Yugi to care,” Terra, Kat's muse, assured her, patting Kat on the shoulder.

 

A voice was heard: “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, TERRA!”

 

“Kami!” Terra gasped. “Geez, geez… nobody but authoresses, huh?” she left, munching on a brownie she had found in Kat's chest.

 

Back with the raining shrimp, Kat had found a creative solution. Of of the piles and piles of shrimp, she sprang up, making sounds like a dolphin. Opening her mouth, she caught and consumed some of the shrimp. “Yum!” She smiled.

 

Bobasa, meanwhile, had a towel wrapped around his waist and was scrubbing his back in the shrimp-rain. “I'm siiiiiiiinging in the raaaaaaain...” he sang.

 

Hiei looked at Kat with half-lidded, unbelieving eyes. “And you're not bothered by this?” he demaned of Kat.

 

Kat grinned. “He has a bathing suit underneath it. Either that, or his butt says `Speedo' on it.”

 

Bobasa hummed ecstatically as he rubbed the shrimp all over his body. His towel slipped.

 

Kat and Hiei gawked.

 

“Yup,” Hiei said. “His butt says `Speedo' on it.”

 

“Yes!” Bobasa confessed maniacally. “It does! Yes! It does! But that's a different story, and I am wearing a bathing suit anyway.”

 

Hiei looked horrified. “Bobasa, that's a G-string…” My eyes, Hiei thought. My poor, virgin eyes! …Aw, why do my eyes have to be VIRGIN eyes, anyway? That just makes it worse.

 

Bobasa put his hands on his hips and looked indigant. “SO! I wanna feel secure and pretty!”

 

“But—“

 

“Shut up and don't judge me! Don't you want to find the treasure?”

 

The demon scoffed. “Oh, yeah, right, like there's really a treasure…” Kat pushed a treasure chest into the room.

 

“I have a chest! Is this it?” Kat asked. (And curse Hiei, because he got a nosebleed when Kat said `I have a chest'.)

 

Bobasa's eyes grew uncustomarily wide. Sort of like this! O.o

 

“How did you—wait, no. No, it isn't,” he realized.

 

“Oh.” Kat didn't look the least bit deterred by this. “Then what is it?”

 

“It's a `magical haircomb' that's hidden in the basement and is useful as a plot device. You can't find it. It's magic. So, you didn't,” Bobasa explained.

 

Kat's eyes became swirly `at' signs. “Ok…”

 

“Soooooo,” Bobasa began. “…What's in the chest?”

 

“Brownies,” Hiei told him. “I ate one.”

 

Kat looked at him, disgusted.

 

“What?”

 

“…Hiei-kun, that's dog droppings.”

 

The demon's eyes bugged. “MMP!”

 

“Hiei-kun, don't vomit on the new floor…!”

 

“He didn't,” Bobasa accused angrily. “That was my towel.”

 

“That was my G-string!” Hiei countered.

“O.O” Kat stumbled away.

 

Meanwhile! Mai and Eve were standing awkwardly.

 

“So, yeah... there's shrimp raining and pumpkin pie. I don't mind the pie much, but I'm allergic to shrimp... though I'm leaving now... see ya...” Eve left.

 

“Finally!” Mai cheered, getting a gleam in her eye. “Now, I can exterminate the demon that stole our treasure!”

 

Somewhere, Danielle looked at the ceiling. “Ooh,” she said, “sub-plots! Sub-plots!”

 

“Nani?” Yugi asked, confused.

 

“Quiet, I'm still mad at you.”

 

“Awww…”

 

Uh… OTHER SCENE!

 

"Are you okay?" Kat asked worriedly, handing Hiei another towel. For some reason they were all out of trash cans, so they were vomiting on Danielle's nice towels.

 

"Yeah..." RETCH.

 

"-.- Liar."

 

"-.- Whatever. What's the difference? I'm a demon, we heal pretty quick. Just ask Inuyasha."

 

"But I like you more than Inuyasha... I don't care if you 'heal quick', I want you to be better now..." Kat touched Hiei's shoulder. "I worry about you when you vomit up half the contents of your stomach..."

 

Hiei boggled at her. In an odd way, that's sort of romantic, he thought. “…Thanks, onna.”

 

"No problem." Kat hugged her knees and watched solemnly as Hiei continued to upchuck.

 

Bobasa stuck his head into the bathroom. "Who wants muffins!" he inquired.

 

"MUFFINS!" Kat yelled joyously, and she sped out of the room. Instead of feeling angry, or dejected, or even sweat dropping, Hiei stood there with a contented smile on his face.

 

"At least I'm loved. Unlike Yugi by now." Hiei chuckled until the toilet blew up.

 

Later, Bobasa, Kat, and Hiei were in the kitchen. Bobasa handed a plateful of muffins to the couple.

 

“Fank you!” Kat spat, eating them speedily.

 

“Slow down, onna,” Hiei said, entering the room. “You're going to get heartburn. Or you're going to choke—“

 

“Hk! Hk!” The teenaged girl dropped a spoon that she had been holding for no inherent purpose. “Hkkk!”

 

Hiei leapt to his feet. “Onna!” he shouted worriedly.

 

Meanwhile, Mai went stalking down the hallway. "Better go exterminate the shrimp first," she had reasoned, and there she was.

 

And there Bobasa was.

 

"O----o I didn't know there'd be a giant standing in his underwear."

 

Meanwhile...

Eve stopped on her way to the airport. "Did I forget something?" she wondered. "Nahh..."

 

Back in the house, Mai's brows narrowed slightly. "What are you doing here?" she inquired.

 

"- Getting more cleaning liquid for my muffins."

 

"Cleaning liquid... you're mad!"

 

"- Aw, come on! It's not like we had a lot of things to use in the tombs..."

 

"The tombs?"

 

"Yeah, the tombs," Bobasa explained. "I'm a--"

 

Something inside the washing machine exploded. "Oh, it's not ready yet!" a voice said heatedly from inside of it, and there were many whispers.