Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Arrogant Surrender ❯ Lately I've Been Wishing ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Hey guys-for some reason I can't keep this site from posting my stuff like...crap. So if you're having a hard time reading it jump over to fanfiction.net It's uploaded there much nicer. Thanks!

Also this is my added Chapter 5 note!

Thanks so much for reading! Almost to the end. Next chapter is the last!!!

Chapter 6: Standing Behind You to be posted 02/15/08 as promised. ��

I��ve already got another two stories up and ready to go, so what I think I��ll do is post a short description of each and you guys can let me know what you��d rather read. Actually, I have a small handful--this past year I moved and so have been writing and not posting. So let me know, do you want something fun? Serious? Romantic? *grins*

These are the two options I am thinking about:
(Both leave sardonic older Ed, and move back to little huggable Ed )

Title: Another Run of Events
This one is less serious, and gets away from dry ironic Ed (which I love) and takes us back to the good ol�� anime days. This story takes place with Ed his show age, with Alphonse still in the armor. In short Ed and the Mustang group need to go undercover to do a mission which puts Ed into a private school with a certain someone acting as his father. It��s not yaoi, but has parental Roy and love of cute action. It��s longer than this one, with more chapters and it��s a much lighter read with way more comedy. I had fun writing this one, and I think this is a fun read, nowhere near as serious as this fic.

Title: A Harmless Fantasy
Takes place during the time that Ed and Al lived with Tucker. This one also casts Roy in a parental light and there isn��t much I can say without giving much away but�Kthis is suspense, action and has some really cute scenes. Deals with the sensitive subject of child abuse and rape now that I think about it�Khmm�KI tend to write stories which have some topics in common as they��re either most fun to write, or most fun to inflict on Ed. I am sorry and I promise I won��t get repetitive. I don��t edit and chapter all stories I write, only those I think are good so�Kunfortunately those I think are at least semi worthy of being posted often have things in common.

That said (as I won��t give anymore away on A Harmless Fantasy) let me know what you��d like! If you��re a fan of sarcastic and bitter-but-you-need-to-love-him Edward you saw in this fic, don��t worry he returns. I have yet to post my trump card and it��s Titled: Foolish For You.

Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Suspense / Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 02.08.2008 | Updated On: 02.08.2008 | Pages: 6 | Words: 7.5K | Visits: 216 | Status: Work In Progress

Arrogant Surrender

Chapter Five

Lately I've Been Wishing

- mirage-

Getting to Edward took longer than he thought .It was four weeks, and entire month because the military wanted the entire mess taken care of before troops were pulled back. That meant four weeks of paperwork. Four weeks of negotiation. Four weeks of reconstructing what was destroyed in the town, and allowing the villagers to find peace with the military, or at least for them to all fake themselves through it. At three weeks he discharged Alphonse for a dislocated shoulder which was never dislocated. Unknown to the boy this wasn't for Edward, or in sympathy to the brother's separation but a reward for Alphonse's hard work. With little to no whining the boy continued his soldierly duties as dedicated as possible in hopes to shorten the wait time. However, after three weeks and a day he began receiving desperate messages from Alphonse he needed to have his brother released. According to Alphonse they were treating him unfairly, and unjustly. What the boy meant to say was inappropriately, and intolerably. But Alphonse, unlike his brother was the polite Elric.

According to the military they were waiting for the entire mess to be corrected before the collective of Edward's damages could be determined. After all, how unfair was it to punish the boy harshly if it all worked out in the end. In Edward's case, as it always seemed to be, it never all worked out in the end. On his forth week train ride back he left a dilapidate but growing city behind which was utterly and thoroughly pissed at the military. The uprising had turned into a full scale attack for one night. Houses had been burnt, shops destroyed, crops ruined, and these

people claimed only the military. As he rode with dull eyes watching the passing scenery he left his gloved hand resting on the manila folder on his lap. A reminder of just what words he'd typed to describe the mess.

Military rejection. A scorned image of overbearing dominance for self gain. That is how the town interpreted the military and its handling, and for Edward this would not look good at all. He would arrive at four pm Thursday, and at eight am Friday the courts would have their hearing sentencing a number of things. Any admirable mentions and awards, additional funding, proper cataloging and discipline. Due to the duration of the entire event Edward was now just a small portion of the scale. Perhaps one of the most influential, for the boy was solely responsible for how poor it went, but non-the-less Edward was just one young soldier.

“When we arrive I need to put together a small report.” He spoke suddenly interrupting the silence which had last for over an hour, but Hawkeye was not asleep as she was pretending to be. “A plea bargain.”

“For Edward.” She knew his mind.

“There are specific facts relating to his motive which I think would sway the court more leniently against him if they were aware.” The scenery outside was bleak, gray skies with quick winds. A pending storm, fitting for their travel back. “They are confidential facts however, so I need to create just a small informative and deliver it to the council members only.” Finally he turned to her and she was resting with both eyes open now. “I need you to find out which councilmen would be appropriate.”

“I am sure Alphonse will know which names.” She replied and he was silent. Yes, Alphonse was a strong bet. The boy had sent a letter since his return to central wishing them well and demanding he do what was in his power to close quickly. As if bearing the title colonel offered him resounding strength within the military. How simple the Elric mind worked sometimes, how powerful he seemed to be within those golden eyes which failed to calculate strategic maneuvering he planned not only in his career, but in all action. Sudden rash decisions based on adolescent desires were never part of his plan, nor sound reasoning.

Alphonse in fact did know which names he'd want. In fact the boy was adamant a specific councilor be replaced if possible. “Alphonse that's ridiculous.” He spat waiving the excited boy away from his desk as he finished his report.

“But he's bias! He doesn't like ni-san!” Alphonse argued. “He's going to sentence him harsher just because he doesn't like him. That's not fair!”

“Would it be more fair if I replaced the man with someone who did like your brother?” He asked rhetorically but to this Alphonse was silent. The boy puffed his cheeks a bit and stood watching him. “You're always going to get someone who knows someone or something. It's high time both of you learned what a small world it is so Edward stops burning bridges as he goes.” He scold glancing up, but to this Alphonse was also silent.

“They've kept him locked up like a prisoner since Roy.” Alphonse informed and his penned stilled for a moment. “In a cell.” Alphonse paused. “I can't see him. He doesn't even know we're back, or that it's over.” Alphonse report standing in perfect attire perfectly clean before his desk. It seemed the younger boy's comfort compared to the elders discomfort was Alphonse's most distressing fact.

“You too did always like to suffer together.”

“Roy!” Alphonse slammed his hands down and he sat his pen down with a glare for the boy.

“Alphonse you're well aware I am doing what I can.” He spoke curtly. “I won't be faced with accusations I am not.”

“I never said that!” Alphonse snapped withdrawing his hands and letting out a heavy breath. “I just...want to see him.”

“And tomorrow you shall.” He stood quickly. “Now, kindly inform me which man hates your brother and which has the most influential power on the board.”

“Aufiero has been on the board the longest so he has the most say. This will be his thirty-sixth year, and Geirman hates my brother.” Alphonse report and he heard the boy's distaste with just the name.

“Right.” He slide his report into a sealed file and skirt his desk with Alphonse following. “Why exactly does he hate him again?” He asked holding his door for Alphonse and the boy sighed as he passed.

“It's kinda a long story Roy, but what you should remember is that ni-san never meant it and also he didn't know the man owned a cat in the first place.” Alphonse began and he groaned.

* * *

Waiting outside Aufiero's office he made it just in time to catch the man on his way out. On sight of him the man looked exhausted and continued locking his office door with a sigh. “What can I do for you Colonel.” Aufiero droned. An older man as he presumed Aufiero was entering his fifties with a mouth firmly set in a frown as everyone who continued in the military gradually inherited.

“I don't mean to keep you here at office.” He offered kindly while extending the sealed folder. “I give you this information in confidence, because I feel it has weight for tomorrow's conference. I won't bore or exhaust you with an attempt to have you see things my way.” He explained and Aufiero took the folder with more respect for him than the man first assumed he'd have. In all honestly, he wasn't quite sure how he pulled off his little speech. It felt as though it just toppled from his tongue.

“You're his colonel? The Fullmetal alchemist's colonel aren't you?” Aufiero asked and he nod. “Tell me colonel, why is that boy so stubborn and fat headed.” The man asked seriously and he cracked a smile.

“I suppose it is his nature.” He couldn't make excuses. “I'll admit the headaches he causes me, never out weight the product, or contribution he makes to the state.” He threw Ed what he could and Aufiero nod giving his folder a small pat before leaving him.

“See you tomorrow Colonel!” Aufiero called raising the folder for a moment and he watched the man leave. Not much taller than him, balding now with white hair and yet Aufiero had so much more control.

“This is what it must come down to.” He sighed turning to leave. “I must be old and losing hair to have power.” He laughed.

* * *

Through word of mouth he learned Geirman had a soft spot for chocolate and so twenty minutes

before the hearing he killed himself to make sure before that man's post there was a fat plate of fudge brownies. Of course, to keep things inconspicuous he had two more sat about the room and he kept his smile to himself when twenty minutes in Geirman was eating one and looking pleased with himself.

“Can't believe you got him food.” Alphonse grumbled beneath his breath along side of him, and he laid his hand on the boy's knee as he stood. “Where are you going?” Alphonse hissed

looking startled he was rising in the middle of the hearing. Of course the council was still discussing property damage as one of the largest, and most disdained categories imperative to the case. He knew which would come next however, and for a colonel to randomly excuse himself for short durations was not odd. He did have responsibilities that continued on through hearings and once or twice before Hawkeye would appear at the door and he would politely leave, delegate, and return. Today however he feigned the need of a drink aware they would bring Ed for his own hearing although they would not allow him to speak. He had underestimate them however, and Ed was already in the hallway when he stepped out.

The sight of the boy startled him, but he passed by casually with Ed none the wiser. Dressed in a simple pair of matching gray cotton pants and long sleeve shirt Ed could pass for a convict. His hands were restrained in a wooden block so he could not touch and he was blindfolded. Casually he made himself a cup of coffee from the provided table watching the boy. Ed looked tired and hungry although he knew the military would be feeding the boy and allowing him rest. For a moment he argued if it wasn't the boy's hair which was casting such a homely and pitiful shadow over him. With Ed's hands restrained he could not fix it, and although someone had brushed it for the hearing it, it hung off the boy's head in thin strands which in comparison to his previous self made him seem unkept and sad.

He took a sip and cleared his throat loudly. With the sound Ed's head lift a bit and he saw the startle and hope that sound really be him. With a slow walk Ed could follow he head past the boy again and while passing spoke. “No matter what.” He muttered before taking a sip. “Bite your tongue.” And with that said he left. He returned to Alphonse and gave the boy his coffee.

Alphonse looked at the cup surprised before making a face. “I don't like coffee.” Alphonse whispered and he chuckled. These boys were such children when they wanted to be. “How long are they going to continue like this? This is really boring.” Such children.

“When your brother is lead in here, he's going to be blindfolded, and retrained.” Alphonse looked shocked. “Ignore it like it's nothing.”

“You-how do you know that?” Alphonse asked leaning to him quickly, but he ignored this and laid his hand back on the boy's knee to calm any future outbursts. Alphonse sensed his inappropriate response. “Sorry.”

“I know because I've just seen him.” He admit and Alphonse twist quickly in his chair to see behind them and into the rows of chairs and soldiers. “You need to keep yourself contained so you don't embarrass him....” He said turning to Alphonse who returned his stare and swallowed. “Yourself, or myself.” He add beckoning to Hawkeye who slipped in, and he lift the paperwork he'd left in the vacant chair next to him for her.

“Sir.” She sat down with a brief smile for Alphonse. “Should I take Alphonse somewhere?” She asked and Alphonse looked insulted and also appalled she'd backstab him this way.

“He's a big boy.” He sighed watching the men talk. “I am sure he can stay in his chair.” He add giving the boy a cold look and Alphonse turned to his coffee and actually considered sipping it.

As if this fact alone lead to maturity.

“Do you not like coffee Alphonse?” Hawkeye asked kindly watching the boy stare at the black liquid. “I can get you something else.” She offered, but the boy just smiled. “You're brother did not like coffee either when he first arrived.”

“Stunts your growth.” He add chuckling quietly at his own joke. Alphonse shot him a look.

“That's a myth.” Hawkeye correct him before silencing when they announced the new subject and he knew this was it.

“At the present time this hearing recognizes a number of indictments against the Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric, and his participation in operation E Cartridge.” Aufiero began reading from a new sheet. “Is Mr. Elric present?” Aufiero asked looking up over his thin glasses and the guards to the back opened the doors and the majority of heads, theirs included turned to see who would be brought in. A simple soldier came first, followed by an armed guard before Fullmetal. The boy had his head tipped down a bit, using his ears for direction with the blindfold and was walking carefully so as not to trip. A few whispers and murmurs started on sight of the boy and he saw Ed's head move gaining the sound of people before looking pissed.

“I can't believe they didn't give him something nicer to wear.” Alphonse fussed along side of him, and he'd wished he sat the boy closer to Hawkeye so she could watch him.

“You're brother is pending, he isn't allowed the luxury of his title Alphonse.” Hawkeye explained quietly as the boy was led past and further inside the council box Ed was given a seat between the two armed guards.

“Edward Elric, you are now present before a council to decide for you the retribution your course of action at Globersville have brought.” Aufiero informed leaving his eyes on Ed for a moment but the boy was silent. “Let the Fullmetal Alchemist, this council, and the members who have arrived today to witness it be aware the sole purpose of operation E Cartridge was to apprehend the uprising in the town of Globersville and the town of Townsend with the specific outline no severe military force, including that of state alchemists, or the lives of innocent towns people should be lost.” Aufiero announced sitting down his paper and whispering to the council man next to him.

“This is how they describe our mission. That's it?” Alphonse asked looking shocked the weeks out in the mud, and the labor, and the training, and the chaos were omitted. Neither Hawkeye nor himself responded to this question.

Aufiero picked up a second paper. “According to our report Williamson, Jacob was shot and killed during a military invasion of the lower west side of the village which was caused as a direct violation of commanding orders, by you, or oneself the Fullmetal Alchemist. At this time general orders prohibited state alchemists from engaging in battle, encouraging hand to hand combat, or opening fire, unless thereby stated by commanding officers..” Aufiero retrieved another sheet. “Property damages estimated in over a hundred thousand dollars to the main street of Townsend, three hundred thousand and forty two dollars in military damages, and the necessity of two additional sweeps of the town leading to poor military sediment, the sole innocent victim, and soldier injury were a result of the actions by you, or oneself the Fullmetal Alchemist.” Aufiero sat that paper down with and linked his fingers slowly looking to Ed who had remained silent. “Am I correct in my understanding Mr. Elric has been in military custody since the birth of these charges?” Aufiero asked turning his eyes from Ed down the line of old men and next to Geirman who was eating yet another brownie a paper was lifted.

“Mr. Elric was sent directly from the stationed base back to headquarters with report of his transgressions.” The paper was sat back down and Aufiero turned back to Ed and let his eyes rest on the him.

“The boy was out of line.” Geirman contribute while chewing and he clenched his jaw.

“Mr. Elric I would like to give you this chance to speak. So if you have anything to say about the charges against you, you may do so now.” Aufiero offered and he bit his tongue until it bled. Ed lift his head a bit with the offer before simply licked his lips and remaining silent. This went on for a minute before Aufiero leaned back in his chair and began conversing with the four other old man.

“What. Why didn't he speak?” Alphonse hissed turning to them and he glanced at the boy.

Hawkeye leaned in slowly and whispered.

“Edward cannot sway the decision of the council by attempting to justify his actions. It's better he stay quiet so they feel he is repenting.” Hawkeye explained giving Alphonse a small hopeful smile. “That was wise of your brother.” She add and he heard the surprise in her voice Edward missed his chance to argue. Something the boy loved very much.

Aufiero leaned back up in his chair and cleared his throat. “The penalty for your actions Mr. Elric derives from your failure to follow orders, deliberate disregard of orders, the large damages

resulting from your actions, and of course the failure of operation E Cartridge. Punishment outlines three months military suspension and reinstatement along with a hundred strokes of obedience and loyalty to the military.” Aufiero announced and Hawkeye looked down for a moment before glancing at him. He assumed part of this verdict was not making sense to Alphonse for the boy hadn't complained yet. “However in light of evidence which has been disclosed to me in favor of your trial, I move to reduce your sentence to seventy-five strokes without military suspension, and remove this incident from your personal file.” Aufiero announced before moving on. Once Edward was sentenced the two guards pulled the boy up and began leading him out.

“That's relatively good.” He said turning to Hawkeye who looked both relieved and concerned at the same time. He couldn't believe Aufiero was actually going to be kind enough to wipe it from Ed's record. Hell, with compliments like that he would have welcomed the suspension as well.

“So they're not suspending him?” Alphonse looked thrilled as he nod. “Does that mean I can see him?”

“Addressing civilian complaints against the military, this council will entertain ninety-six formally submitted grievances.” Aufiero announced lifting another sheet and he turned to Hawkeye.

“Let's leave.”

* * *

Now that Edward was not being suspended by the military he would only be held until his sentence was carried out. For the boy that would be as soon as the hearing was concluded, and not for an approximate two to three hours, however, with his acceptance by the military Ed was allowed visitors, While he had preferred to visit the boy first and alone, he couldn't seem to shake either Alphonse nor Hawkeye.

“Ni-san I am so thrilled they're not suspending you!” Alphonse cheered rushing into the small cell the boy was allowed as they followed. Ed was unrestrained while in the cell and took Alphonse in a hug which left both boys grinning.

“You got off considerably light.” Hawkeye congratulate giving the boy a hug as well.

“They know I am good for it.” Ed boost with a shrug before turning back to Alphonse. “How did the rest of everything go out there. They haven't told me anything at all.” Ed admit and Alphonse sighed thinking through this.

“It sucked. The people hated us, but we cleaned up and tried to help them.” Alphonse explained. “Then we left. I think they were glad to see us go. They didn't seem to care that we made any improvements.” Alphonse report sadly.

“That's what you get when you show the people to get what you want, you do what you want.” He scold giving Ed cold eyes and the boy avert his quickly. This submission surprised him, and he kept silent.

“I can't wait to get my clothes back.” Ed changed subjects and Alphonse smiled.

“That gray does not become you Edward.” Hawkeye teased but Ed bristled in distaste with his attire.

“And how do you plan to sit once you get your clothes back?” He asked resting in the one chair he'd ordered be brought in. He wasn't about to sit on the thin little mattress Ed was sleeping on.

“Look Roy.” Ed snapped instantly mad. “I was just almost thrown off grounds, how about a sunnier attitude.”

“And whose fault is that.” He asked simply but Ed scowled and stood glaring at him. “Seventy-five strokes aren't all going to fit on your back Ed.” He reasoned and Ed's face flinched with

this, and the eyes avert. So, the submissive behavior was fear. Edward Elric was scared.

“Wait. They're going to hit him? You?” Alphonse was shocked and turned to Ed who gave a forced shrug before nodding.

“Yeah that's what I get I suppose.” Ed managed trying to stay light about it.

“That is what you get.” He snapped and Ed silenced turning back to him.

“Alphonse, let's get your brother something to eat.” Hawkeye nod toward the door when he rose to his feet. She could feel his anger and Alphonse looked hesitant to leave now that he was finally allowed in, but with her eyes stepped away from Ed.

“Why are you busting my chops.” Ed asked quietly.

“Because goodness knows someone ought to.”

“They will.” Ed insist sounding nervous. “Give them a few hours.” Ed offered before rolling his

shoulders as if to shake the idea off. “I was looking forward to finally seeing you again. Cause I've been cooped up in here, and treated like a prisoner.” Ed began growing angry. “Instead you come back with your hard-ass attitude. Get all in my face while I am humiliated--and ashamed.” Ed confessed taking a step closer so his words would not make it through the walls and to anyone else's ears. “I can't change what happened.” Ed continued staring into his eyes with his silence. “I can't. I can't change it. So I am not going to cry about it and say well what-if-that, and

what-if-this. What happened, happened.” Ed lowered onto his mattress slowly. He watched the boy rake his hands through his hair and then sit quietly. “I've had a lot of time to think.” Ed muttered. “And what I think about most, aside from seeing Alphonse, and everyone again, is you.” Ed looked up slowly and all he saw was the small scared little boy who first walked into his office wanting a watch too big for his palm. Slowly he took a step and sat down next to the boy. “I know you did something to help lighten the sentence. I don't know what, and I most likely don't want to know but...” Ed trailed turning to him and for a moment he thought the boy would say thank you. Just go ahead and say it, but instead Ed snort a small laugh and smiled. A grin right up to either ear. Happy and true.

“Every week I was out there I thought, why didn't I just leave him hungry and dirty.” He chuckled leaning in to the boy so their noses came together. “So I could have seen you off.” He smiled and Ed jumped at him. The boy's arms snaked around and squeezed and Ed was hanging on tightly. He wrapped the boy tight and held. Ed wanted hugs, and he felt it in the boy's trembling arms, and the way Ed pulled his legs in flush to his where they sat.

“I am really nervous!” Ed confessed suddenly and he felt the boy's fingers curl into his uniform and fist. “Fuck. Why, why am I so nervous. This is stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.” Ed muttered pulling off him and sitting up. He watched the boy drag his hands up his thighs and then push them down slowly with a large inhale. “I got to pull myself together.” Ed breathed before glancing at him and offering a shaky smile.

“Mr. Elric.” There was a knock on the door before two soldier's came in. One broke into

solute on sight of him and one had his hands full and looked startled he couldn't solute.

“At ease.” He reassured holding up a hand and casually getting to his feet.

“Um.” The first soldier mustered before turning to Ed. “Mr. Elric we've been instructed to inform you your sentence will be carried out in the C wing in thirty minutes.”

“All ready?” Ed blurt shocked.

“You're sentence of seventy-five strokes has been divided into two applications, one of thirty-eight and one of thirty-seven. Due to the uneven number of administered blows, you've being given the chance to decide which instrument you'd like to receive the higher number from.” The soldier informed before turning to the second. Ed looked flabbergasted and horrified with what he was hearing before getting to his feet on sight of the heavy cane and second much thinner one.

“You're got to be friggin' shitting me.” Ed growled standing before the two instruments looking panicked rubbing at his mouth before turning to him.

“Does it really matter?” He asked. “It's just a one stroke difference.”

“Yeah, I don't care.” Ed muttered waiving the men away. “Just make something up. Just go. Leave.” Ed groaned closing his own door behind them before sinking into it. He watched the boy lay on his door groaning before Ed picked his head up and knocked his forehead into the cold surface a few times. “Isn't it ironic. I get captured from the military and people beat me, I get brought back...and they beat me.”

“The military won't discipline you as haphazardly as your captures.” He scold insulted. “You most certainly won't be bloody when done. It's performed cautious of your skin. Considering what could have happened this is a much nicer sentence. It happens in one afternoon and you pay, benefits, and life just get to move on. You're still a soldier.” He was appalled Ed would compare the two, but the boy only turned to his speech drained and unimpressed.

“Not soldier enough apparently.” Ed muttered walking back to him and sinking to his bed bouncing his knee. He stood watching the boy and Ed was getting worse thinking about it.

“You should try and relax.” He recommend before silencing when Ed snort at the idea.

“Afterward I will come and see you.” He offered.

“What happens to me afterward?” Ed asked looking up, and he could see the worry. The hard bitter worry in the boy's face. “What if I can't contain myself? What if I break composure? Start crying like some candy-ass fucking-ah, stupid stupid stupid.” Ed whispered dropping his head into his hands and rubbing at his face.

“You're worried you won't be able to stay composed?” He was shocked, but Ed nod quickly. The boy didn't look up, but buried his head a bit deeper. “Well, you do have a high thresh hold to pain but...in all honestly Fullmetal.” He wait there, and eventually Ed looked up curious. “You won't be able to. They're not going to hit you a little, they're going to beat the tar out of you.”
He informed and Ed's eyes widened. “You're going to scream, and you're going to cry. And

when it's over the thought of going against the military at least for the next six months will terrify you.” He informed and Ed let out a serious of fast breaths before leaping to his feet.

“Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND!” Ed screamed throwing up his hands. “Are THEY CRAZY!” Ed yelled pointing to the door, but he grabbed the pointing hand and drew the boy into a hug. “FORGET IT! SCREW THEM! FUCK THE MILITARY FUCK THEM!” Ed cried struggling in his hold but he didn't let go. He let the boy have his small fit, and digest his words however he needed, before finally Ed was whining. “I don't want to. I don't want people to see me like that. I don't know what I'll do.” Ed was speaking into his shoulder. “What am I going to do Roy? Huh? What would you do? How would you do it? How would you handle this?” Ed asked and he froze.

“You're asking for my advice.” He whispered growing a short smile and Ed was silent. Ed looked lost, and in those golden eyes he saw himself as the man Ed believed him to be. That colonel with all the power, and all the answers. “I'd handle it by facing it.” He said pulling back to stare Ed in the eye. “You want to hide from it, and you don't want others to know because you're embarrassed.” He brushed the boy back a step. “Everyone already knows, so just walk in there and take it, and then walk out as best you can. No one expects you to do better, everyone knows what happens.” He conclude but Ed didn't look better hearing what he didn't want to do most, allow a harsh display of weakness, was exactly what he was recommending. “Trying to play this off, will not work, and so any attempts will just look asinine.” He broke a smile to encourage the boy.

“Will they strip me for this?”

“Most likely.”

“Cock lovers.” Ed growled and he laughed giving the boy a squeeze.

“Afterward I will have a car waiting. I will be outside, and I'll have you brought to me. Then...I'll take care of it.” He offered and Ed smiled moving to the right and most private corner

of the room where he backed the boy into the corner and took his mouth. It felt good to pin Ed down, and really kiss him again. To know the boy was safe at least for the time being, and

wanted him. For a long moment there was nothing but silence, and Ed's tongue was smooth and cooler in his mouth than his own. The boy had gotten slightly better at kissing him and was tipping his head gently but still had too much spit. “You're an amateur.” He chuckled pulling back and Ed wiped his mouth smiling. “When you feel lost you think of that kiss until I see you next.” He said heading to the door with Ed leaning against the wall watching. “Forget it, and I'll beat you myself.” He add and Ed's smile grew.