Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ By Sightless Lightning ❯ Epilogue - Alphonse ( Epilogue )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"It'll be okay," said Edward, kneeling in front of his brother to offer the paper flowers, and showing a smile that he did not feel at all.

Alphonse looked ... something. Something between doubtful and angry and frightened, and he refused to let go of the hem of Edward's coat. The sun, still low on the horizon as it edged into the sky, made the window glow, and painted the walls in shades of peach and tangerine. It was Edward's last morning in Mustang's home, but it would not be Alphonse's.

"I'll be back in no time, you'll see," said Edward, lying again as he toyed with the fragile thing of paper in his hand. He felt like it would kill him to turn his back on his brother and walk out that door with the intention of not coming back for ... how long? Months? Years maybe? There was no way to know, and that was half the agony of it ... he couldn't even point to a date on a calendar and say This is when I'll be back. Everything would depend on Alphonse, and how quickly he learned to care for himself.

Edward hadn't been sure that Alphonse would grasp what was happening; it had turned out that he'd figured it out when watching Edward pack. Alphonse was on the floor now, trying to hold Edward by the hem of his coat and giving Edward the most horrible looks.

He set down the ring of paper flowers on the floor and pushed his fingers through his brother's clipped hair, and rested his lips against Alphonse's forehead to inhale the scent of him. "I'll always love you, Al. I'm only doing this because I have to. You have to know that. I'm only doing this because I love you. Dammit." There was no helping it ... he had to release his suitcase and pull his brother into a tight hug, where they kneeled together on the dusty hardwood floor. Alphonse was warm and solid in his arms, and held him back with a ferocity that made Edward want to never let go.

But he had to. He'd miss his train if he didn't.

"I'll be back," he said, pulling the hem of his coat out of his brother's reach but not trying to pull himself out of reach just yet. "I swear it, as soon as ..." Was it fair to put limits on it? As soon as Alphonse was talking? As soon as he could make change at the market? "As soon as you're better. Nothing can keep us apart." He forced a smile for his brother, although the look in Alphonse's eyes was breaking his heart, and kissed him gently before smoothing back his hair.

"Look," he said, picking up the ring of interlinked paper flowers and offering it again to his brother. "I thought about making them real flowers, but I didn't want them to die on you. Here." The ring was large enough to fit over Alphonse's hand, and while it looked out of place on his brother's wrist, Edward felt it was safer there. Less likely to get crushed on accident. He kissed his brother again, and almost gave up when Alphonse whimpered a little and mouthed him back, but no. He couldn't let himself buckle under now.

He grabbed his suitcase and stood up, swiftly before Alphonse could get a grip on him again, and stepped back. "I love you," he whispered, over the tight knot in his throat. The plaintive whine that Alphonse began to make as he retreated was almost enough to rip him apart, but all the same he managed to back out of the room, and turn toward the front door.

Mustang watched him go from his seat at the desk, and Edward had a hard time looking the man in the eye. "You know I'll take care of him," said the Colonel quietly.

"You'd better," said Edward. And if the Colonel touched his brother, Edward swore to himself that he'd have Mustang's hide, but he couldn't voice the threat aloud no matter how much he wanted to. "And I want to know exactly how he's doing, all the time."

"If there's anything significant, I'll make sure you're notified as soon as possible," said Mustang mildly enough. Edward clenched his fist on the handle of his suitcase, because he could hear Alphonse crying in the next room, and because Mustang's voice was more than he could stand. He hated the man for coming after him, for talking to him, for chaining him to a life he wasn't sure he wanted anymore, and at the same time he was ashamed that he'd made any of that necessary. The good part of this plan - the only good part - was that he wouldn't have to look Mustang in the face over breakfast every morning anymore.

The broken, desperate noise that Alphonse was making crescendoed, and Edward looked toward the door of the guest bedroom. It didn't sound healthy ... it didn't sound sane, or right.

"You should go," said Mustang. "Or you'll miss your train."

"Yeah," said Edward, quite certain that Mustang's motivation for getting him to move had nothing to do with the train schedule. "I'll see you in, I don't know. A couple of weeks I guess. Or whenever."

"Take your time. There's no hurry on that one. Make sure you let me know whenever you move to a different town."

"Okay."

Edward turned, steeled himself, and walked out the front door and into the bright, glorious morning.



The noise began to settle down about half an hour after Fullmetal left, and it was only when it did that Roy decided to go check on Alphonse.

Sprawled out on the floor on his belly, the younger Elric was still sobbing disconsolately, only more quietly now, arms curled around some kind of ring of folded paper. Roy watched him from the doorway for a little while; Alphonse definitely understood that Fullmetal wasn't just stepping out for some air, and that was an encouraging sign, but it wasn't easy to witness this kind of grief. It made him feel like a voyeur.

"If there was any other way, you know I would have tried it," he said. "Now it's up to you."

Turning his head a little to the side, Alphonse caught Roy with one eye, and glared while still sniffling into the floor.

"The two of you just can't live like this." Roy went down into a crouch beside Alphonse, and picked up the paper ring to idly examine it. "And I can't believe that you'd want to live like this. I can't ..."

He broke off. The ring was composed of a dozen or more tiny flowers, and they weren't folded the way Roy had originally assumed. Intertwined stems and leaves, and multiple shy spreads of petals, were formed whole out of the delicate paper, with no seams or creases at all.

Roy blinked at it, and then stood up and set the paper ring down on the bureau, feeling even worse than he had a moment before. "Tell you what," he said to Alphonse, "I'll let you call your brother to tell him to come back. Or write him. Whichever is better for you. I think that's fair."

It was hard not to apologize. Roy wasn't sorry at all for sending Fullmetal away, but it was difficult to stand there with Alphonse glaring hatefully at him and not apologize anyway, however irrational that might be.

Someday, he might get used to Elrics hating him for doing what was right by them, but it looked like that day hadn't come yet. He gave up, and padded back out into the living room.

Behind him, Alphonse continued to glower at the doorway for several minutes, but presently his attention wandered. He sat up, looking around at the room with the anger slowly bleeding out of his expression, until he let go of the emotion with a sigh. The play of the sunlight on the wall as the angle of the light changed caught his attention, and held it for quite some time, until the sun was high enough that the diffuse beauty solidified into a patch of brilliant yellow near the floor.

Alphonse looked away then, with great effort, turning his head to physically force his eyes away from the beautiful distraction of the sunlight on the wall. The ring of flowers his brother had made for him caught his eye next, and he frowned at it where it lay atop the bureau, out of reach unless he managed to get himself on his feet.

Then he crossed his legs, and closed his eyes. He leaned over with great deliberation, arm extended, index and middle fingers held stiffly outward. His fingertips trembled at first, but gradually the trembling steadied; very slowly, and with immense concentration, he began to trace an invisible circle on the floor.


~fin~