Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Crying is Good For the Soul ❯ Crying is Good For the Soul ( Chapter 1 )

 

Crying is Good For the Soul

 

Summer. When the day is over
there's a heart a little colder;
someone said goodbye,
but you don't know why.
Somewhere there is someone keeping
all the tears they have been weeping,
someone said goodbye,
but you don't know why.

 

Fumbling with the stolen keys, Riza Hawkeye opened the apartment door. Hefting her heavy burden, she stumbled into the dark room, muttering a curse when her shin hit an unseen object. Slowly, the First Lieutenant made her way down the even darker hallway to the bedroom at the end. When she finally made it to the actual bedroom the full moon shone brightly through the window, casting the room in an eerie glow.

 

Grunting, Riza hauled the Colonel over to his bed and gently laid him down. Bending over, she removed his boots and socks first, and then took off the rest of his uniform. The first time she had done this it had been an excruciatingly embarrassing moment for her, but after doing it nearly every day for the past month, she had finally gotten used to it. Neatly folding his uniform over a chair, she took the chance to look around. The silver light showed how chaotic the room was. Clothing was everywhere. It looked as if the dresser had spit out its contents and a picture on the wall was crooked. Next to the picture was a mirror with a large crack in it. It was a silent testament to the Colonel's grief.

 

Letting out a sigh, Riza took a turn around the room, picking up clothes as she went. Once the room was slightly more ordered, she went back to stand by the bed. His hear was mussed and a small snore escaped the Colonel's mouth. The First Lieutenant could not help it. She smiled. When he was dressed in only a white t-shirt and blue boxers, while snoring, her Colonel was no longer Colonel, but Roy, and she had to admit…He was adorable when he was sleeping. Sighing once more, she left the room, went down the hall and out the front door. Once she had locked it, she got down on one knee and shoved the key underneath the door for Roy in the morning.

 

 

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Riza let out a groan when she finally made it to her own apartment. Grumbling, Riza went to her room and removing her uniform as she went, tossing it on the armchair when she went by. Black Hayate walked happily by his side, but unfortunately she knew he would be sad later tonight. Once in her room, she finished undressing and put on her pajamas. Looking across the room, she could she her little puppy already curling up on her bed. Crossing the room, Riza picked him up and set him outside the room, carefully avoiding his eyes when she did. Closing the door, she quickly ran to her bed and buried herself completely under the covers. At her door, Black Hayate whined and scratched at the door. He always got to sleep in there!

 

Riza buried her face into her pillow, willing herself to stop the tears trekking down her face. Tears were a sign of weakness and were useless. This was something she had learned early on in life. Still, they would not stop, but only seemed to flow faster. Riza tried to stop herself from thinking about it, but she couldn't. She kept seeing visions her in her mind. There were ones of her with Roy and Maes when they had just started their basic training. Then would fast forward to the funeral and how little Elysia had cried. Her heart had wrenched when she heard the little girl crying out for the men to stop burying her daddy, and that he had work to do. Then she would see Roy, standing by the grave of his closest friend. But she had not cried then, so why was she now?

 

Maybe she had finally realized that she was powerless to help. There was not a thing she could. From when she was a child, Riza had been taught to always have control over her feelings and surroundings. That she should never show such base and useless emotions such as sorrow and anger. But for some reason, all the lessons in the world could not prepare her for the shock of losing someone close to her.

 

Once again Riza felt the sensation as if her heart were being wrenched from her chest. If this was how she felt, Riza could not even fathom what the Colonel must be feeling. And there was not a thing she could do. She was truly helpless and all she wanted to do was help him get through this. Whenever he collapsed at a bar, she would be nearby to pick him up and take him home. More then once had she gotten him home and into bed only to have to take him out and hold him when he broken down into a drunken sob. She was pretty sure he did not even realize she was there. All he would do was sit in her arms and repeatedly whisper “I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”

 

Trying to stifle her sobs, Riza turned over. She felt bad for leaving Black Hayate outside, but no one had ever seen her cry. And no one would. Burying deeper into her bed, the First Lieutenant tried to get some sleep. She had to get up early this morning.

 

 

Is there a reason
why a broken heart begins to cry?
Is there a reason
you were lost although you don't know why?
Give me a reason
why you never want to say goodbye.
If there's a reason,
I don't know why.

 

 

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The song is "Someone Said Goodbye" by Enya. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon. This will probably be only a few chapters long. Let me know what you think!