Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Dealing With Women ❯ Dealing With Women ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

“Ugh, I can’t take this anymore; I’m going to my room!” Yelled an infuriated Winry, as she threw her arms up in the air indignantly, turning on her heels to stomp back towards the hotel she was staying at while she was visiting her best friends.

That left the FullMetal Alchemist with nothing to do but stand there, glaring in her direction, whilst huffing back-just angry, “Yeah, well, I can’t stand having to see your ugly face, either!”

Off to the side, Alphonse had been looking from left to right, right to left; following the argument and insults that were being tossed back and forth.

Al sighed, shaking his metallic head, muttering, “Oh, brother…” He then took the opportunity to stalk over to his still-fuming older brother.

“NII-SAN!” The armor said, quite unhappy, to say the least, an echo following his cries, as he shook his sibling by the shoulders. “Stop being so mean to Winry!”

When Edward finally managed to release himself from his brother’s grasp, he took a step back, crossing his arms and scowling. “It was her fault, it’s not like I started the argument.”

The younger Elric just shook his head, muttering something about his “stupid older brother”, before grabbing Ed’s arm, and dragging him down the street.

“A-Al! What the hell are you doing?” Ed asked loudly, struggling to get out of Al’s hold on his arm.

“I think you need to have a talk with some adults about dealing with women, Edward!” Alphonse said in a strict tone, although it sounded more that he was telling it to himself, than the midget in question.

“NANI!” Ed yelped out at hearing these words, but was still, nonetheless, dragged on towards HQ.

---

WITH FURY

“Oh, umm, well, that’s not exactly my strong point-women…” Kain said nervously. “But, I can tell you this: You have to treat them gently; they’re like delicate flowers, and must be held very carefully.”

Alphonse nodded his head. “Hear that, nii-san?”

Edward, who still had his arm clutched in Al’s giant hand, nodded his head slightly, annoyed. “Yeah, yeah…”

“Onto our next tutor!” Alphonse said, putting a fist in the air. He then looked to Fury once more. “Arigatou!”

Fury nodded his head a bit, smiling lightly, before stacking a few papers together, and getting back to his work.

---

WITH HAVOC

“Women, eh? Well, I think I can give you some good pointers here,” Havoc said, lighting a new cigarette and placing it in between his lips. “Yup, in order to be the dominant one, you have to coax them, and make them succumb to your own desires. That is how you can easily get laid-”

“Oh, umm,” Alphonse stuttered, waving his hands, sweat dropping, “Ano…Thank you, but we must be going now!”

Meanwhile, a few feet below where Al’s head was, Ed had a horrified expression on his face. ‘Do not think bad thoughts of Winry, do not think bad thoughts, do not think bad thoughts…AGH!’ He the mentally kicked himself as something perverted entered his mind (I’ll let you lot decide what it was). ‘Damn that Havoc!’

Alphonse then ran back out of the room, Ed still being clutched tightly in a death grip.

---

WITH ARMSTRONG

“Oh, hello there, Edward and Alphonse Elric!” Armstrong called as the two entered a random room, his millions of sparkles adding that “Hello, world! I’m so beautiful despite my overly muscled body-come hug me!” touch that was very much unneeded for the alchemist, due to the fact no one would ever want to hug him…

“RUN, AL, RUUUUUUN!” Ed wailed as Alphonse ran right back out of the room and down the hall.

---

WITH HAWKEYE

“Edward, Alphonse, is something the matter?” She asked them as they waltzed into the room that she was currently in.

“Well, sort of. You see, Lieutenant, nii-san needs advice on women,” Al told the female soldier.

Riza held a bemused expression on her face for a moment. “Alright then, I suppose I can give you a few pointers, seeing as how I am a woman.”

“Listen up, nii-san, I’m sure this will help you out,” Alphonse whispered to Edward quietly, nudging him a bit in the ribs.

“You must be patient, and tolerant. When the feminine species wants something, she should usually get it, lest you wish to feel the blow of a wrench to the head-” She stopped midway, having spotted the strange expression on Ed’s face. “What?”

Ed shifted as best he could with his otouto’s hand around his arm, and said uneasily, “How did you know-”

Hawkeye raised a brow, and couldn’t help herself as a small smirk played across her lips for a moment. “Well, truth be told, Edward, it’s painfully obvious that it’s Winry you need help with.”

Pink tinted his cheeks evenly, as he looked away, frowning from slight embarrassment. The Lieutenant took this moment to continue.

“You should explain things to Winry; like, when you can’t tell her things, for example. Don’t stomp off acting angry, that will only fuel her own anger. Instead, try explaining why you can’t tell her about the things you do,” Riza told him gently, taking a seat in a nearby chair.

Ed continued glancing off to the side, but nodded his head nonetheless.

Alphonse thanked Hawkeye, and once more dragged his older brother out the door, and towards a new one.

---

WITH MUSTANG

“Ah, so, FullMetal, you’ve finally fallen for someone, eh? It is rather about time,” Roy said deviously, after Alphonse had explained to him why they were in his office.

Ed, who was previously busying himself by trying to escape Al’s deadly grip to get out of the room and away from the Colonel, suddenly blew up and had a tantrum.

“NOOOO! I DO NOT LIKE WINRY LIKE THAT!”

If he could, Al would’ve rolled his eyes at that moment. “Sure, nii-san, sure you’re not. You’ve got to admit to t sometime-you’re in love with Winry…” He muttered under his breath, although Ed still managed to catch the last bit.

“AL!” He began his fits again, but before he could continue to bestow his rage upon his younger sibling, Roy cut him off.

“Calm down, Edward. I’ll help you out. And believe me when I tell you, Alphonse, that it was very wise to bring FullMetal here for help. After all, the kid can barely deal with his own temper, let alone a female’s,” He said, laughing slightly.

“Now then, why don’t we cover the basics first-then we’ll move onto other things you’ll need to know. After that, we’ll send you into action,” The Colonel said darkly, folding his hands underneath his chin, and gazing down at a freaked out Edward.

---

WITH WINRY--TAKE ONE--FURY’S PLAN

“But, Al!” Ed whined. “I don’t want to go!”

“Oh, toughen up, Ed, you sound like a baby! I mean, it’s just Winry; what’re you scared of?” Alphonse said teasingly.

Ed fumed once more, but his flare was doused when Al quickly knocked on the door in the hotel that led the way into Winry’s room.

“Good luck, nii-san!” Al yelled back to Edward, running down the hall and out of sight. “Remember to use the tactics that everyone told you about!”

“WHA! AL, WAIT-” Ed was about to dash down the hall, when the door squeaked open a few inches, enough to reveal the sad, sapphire eyes that belonged to Winry, gazing through.

“Ed?” She whispered softly, opening the door more.

Edward quickly turned to face her, and forced himself to look down, but not before allowing his eyes to linger upon what he could make out of her frail form through the doorway.

“Can I come in?” He asked, making sure to avoid her gaze-for that short time, at least.
After a moment or two of hesitating and lightly biting her bottom lip, Winry nodded and stepped aside while opening the door all the way.

As the State Alchemist walked in, she took a few steps back, and clasped her hands together by the hem of her black skirt.

Edward quickly closed the door, and made his way closer to the auto-mail mechanic, who was looking completely away from Edward, so she did not notice him coming.
So, she was obviously startled when he lifted her chin, cupping it lightly with his now ungloved, human hand, his golden eyes that usually shone with determination and half-hidden sorrow, now glimmered with a tenderness that Winry had never seen in him before.

“Ed…ward?” She breathed out subtly, holding in a small gasp that had threatened to come dangerously close to being heard.

While Edward’s human hand was keeping itself busy with tilting Winry’s face upward, his auto-mail limb had had managed to snake its way around the mechanic’s waist.
Winry’s pupils dilated when the FullMetal Alchemist suddenly closed his eyes while resting his head near the crook of her neck, as he placed the hand that had previously been at Winry’s chin on the back of her head.

“Sorry, Win…for…always fighting with you,” He said soothingly into her silky hair. Winry’s eyes were still wide with confusion, not to mention shock

‘Is this…for real? He’s actually…holding me…?’ Winry thought to herself, slowly allowing her own hands to drift up to his shoulders and rest there, leaning her head against his chest.

She listened to the heavy rhythm of his heart drumming in her ears, slowly lulling her eyes closed as she embraced the natural music.

Although her tranquility was cut short when Edward eased back a bit, casting his firm hands over her shoulders for a brief moment to push her back slightly and look at her once more with softened eyes.

Winry couldn’t help the small blush that began to flood her cheeks as he graced her with one of his wonderful, meaningful smiles, before telling her that he had to get going back to his little brother and walking back out of the door.

The oak entrance closed with a soft click, and the mechanic could still faintly hear the alchemist’s auto-mail leg clinking slightly as he walked.

After a few more moments of her simply standing there with a blank expression on her face, her features soon contorted to that of utter confusion.

‘W-what was that…?’

---

WITH EDWARD AND ALPHONSE

“So, nii-san, how did it go?” Alphonse asked excitedly with glee as Ed entered their room with a sigh of relief.

Ed looked up at him and gave a shrug of the shoulders. “I’m pretty sure I was being ‘careful in handling her’ enough. Though she seemed pretty bewildered…”

Al chuckled, the usual eerie echo following soon after. “That’s because you’re never ‘careful with her’, Ed.”

The FullMetal shot him a quick glare before plopping himself down on his bed.

“Okay, next up I have to try what Havoc said, right?” He mumbled to himself. Smacking his forehead with his metallic arm, he moaned out afterwards, “Oh, great, this will never work…!”

Al just said in his usual ‘voice-of-reason’ type of voice, “Don’t worry, brother. I’m sure everything will be fine. Just don’t give up; things will work out between you two sooner or later.”

Edward once again glanced at his otouto before allowing another small smile to tug at his lips. “Yeah. I just have to keep trying…”

---

A FEW DAYS LATER-WITH WINRY-TAKE TWO-HAVOC’S TACTIC

“So, what did you want to talk to me about, Edo-kun?” Winry asked after she had taken a seat on the park bench; which was, obviously, in the park.

Ed sat down next to her, and turned his gaze firmly to her. “Okay, I’m just going to cut to the chase here, Win,” He spoke swiftly.

‘What’s brought on this change? Just the other day he was being so sweet, but now, he’s basically…almost the same old Edward…’ Winry thought to herself in almost a sad manner. But she kept a steady facade. Nodding her head briefly, urging him to continue, she pondered on what he wanted to talk about for a minute or so before he finally continued talking.

Ed cleared his throat, his eyes hardening their gaze. ‘Okay, I know Havoc was talking about references to ‘getting laid’ for this, but we’ll change it around to suit me better…’ “Okay, now, Winry. I am the male in this ‘relationship’,” He said, using ‘bunny ears’ with his fingers during the word ‘relationship’; so that she would know he meant the friend relationship that they shared. “And I think you should be listening to me more often, and stop throwing wrenches at me. In fact, that’s an order! Stop hitting me with your damn wrenches!”

Winry just sort of…umm, sat there, once more taken aback by his display of strange differing emotions. She soon closed her eyes though, almost in frustration, opened her mouth as though she wanted to say something, but then closed it again and just shook her head. Pulling her wrench of doom out of nowhere, she gave it a rough toss at Edward’s head before standing up and walking off.

Ed, on the other hand, who had definitely not been expecting that to happen, was not only confused, amazed (bad amazed, though), and dazed when his female companion pulled out her trusty tool and weapon, that he was completely unable to make any attempt of dodging the inevitable blow that was bound to come.

WHAM!

“K…Kuso…” His leg twitching slightly as he cursed as best as he could as he lie on the ground; for the strike had knocked him off the bench.

‘What a weird jerk!’ Our favorite ( and Ed’s) auto-mail mechanic stomped gruffly down the dirt path that led in and out of the park. “OH I CAN’T BELIEVE HIM!”

---

WITH EDWARD AND ALPHONSE

The FullMetal Alchemist was seated on his bed once more; though this time he was occupying one of his hands by holding an ice pack to his forehead.

“What did you do?” Al asked in a raw manner when he laid eyes (or…umm…those eyehole things in the helmet…oh, you know what I mean!) on his semi-mangled brother who had walked through the door only moments before.

It was now well into the evening, and Winry had left in quite a huff in the early afternoon. (Guess the wrench really had him knocked out for a while this time, eh?)
“I used 2nd Lieutenant Havoc’s so-called technique…” Edward mumbled, his gaze downcast in anger and self pity. ’That really sucked…’

Removing the cold pack from his head, Edward laid it carelessly on the bedside table before pulling a notebook and a pencil from a drawer in the table.

He quickly scribbled down some notes:

Dealing with women
Fury-listen to him more often; gentle is good (right?)
Havoc-ignore the bastard; he’s useless when it comes to girls like Winry
Armstrong-
Hawkeye-
Colonel Bastard -

Closing up the notepad, the alchemist tucked his belongings back in the drawer.

Heaving a strained sigh, the young boy stood to stretch a bit while grumbling more to himself than Al, “Guess I’ll see what Hawkeye’s advice does for me in a little bit…”

---

NEXT NIGHT-WITH WINRY-TAKE THREE-HAWKEYE’S REASONING

Winry had been locked up in her room for the past day since her little “fight” with Edward.

Not surprisingly, Alphonse had to usher Edward to Winry’s room with much struggle on Ed’s part.

“B-But-couldn’t it wait a day or so more?” Edward pleaded as the younger Elric pushed his older brother in front of their childhood friend’s hotel door.

“Ugh, no, nii-san,” Al sighed, his armor clunking lightly as he came to a stop, rapping on Winry’s door. “It has to be now. I thought you were looking forward to this.”

Ed suddenly looked up at his metallic brother looking horrified. “Tell me you were joking!”

If he could’ve, Alphonse would’ve rolled his eyes right at that moment. “Oh, jeez…”

When he could finally hear the soft tapping of a person walking across the floor, slowly making their way to open the door, Al scuttled off without warning (LOL Al is scuttling….).

Edward was about to yell rants to his brother when he heard the all-too-familiar creaking of the door as it opened, revealing only Winry’s bright, sapphire eyes. Though, this time, they were not clouded with sadness-but anger.

‘Damn girls-they get way too emotional over such little things,’ Ed thought grudgingly, but forced a smile on his face. “Hey, Winry. Can I come in?”

Her face scrunched up a bit and she asked sourly, “Why?”

“Eh…” Ed began, trying not to act fazed by the small show of anger. “Well, I wanted to talk, that’s why, Win.”

Winry’s blue eyes vanished from Edward’s view as Winry turned her head, as though she didn’t want him to see some expression she may be wearing.

“Yeah, you can come in, Ed,” She said finally, turning her head back so he would be in her line of vision. Her voice was most likely softer than before, but it was still harsh nonetheless.

She once again opened her door all the way, but this time she immediately ventured to her bed while Edward walked in, closed the door, and took his normal seat next to her.

“So, what is it you want to talk about, dearest Edward?” She asked, in a voice that made it clear to him she was mocking as though she cared about what he had to say.

Normally, Edward would begin to yell, or just let his wrathful side take over, but he still kept what 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye said in his mind. ‘I just have to be able to tame and control my temper…I can do this…yeah, no problem…’ He thought, laughing nervously inside his head.

He offered up another smile, resisting the well-known urge to unleash his wrath upon her; but kept his cool-for the moment at least. “I just wanted to apologize to you, Winry. That’s all,” His lips remained curled upward as he spoke; his golden gaze never falling away from her penetrating blue orbs.

As though the smile were contagious, Winry’s own pink lips began to slightly twitch, though she managed to keep her frown showing. “Oh? What could you possibly have to apologize for, Edward?”

‘Damn this girl-it’s as though she wants me to lose my temper!’ Edward, deciding that he could no longer remain kind and benevolent, chose to take a bit of a different approach. His eyes slowly made their way down so that he was looking at the floor instead of his mechanic, and his voice became almost melancholy-a very convincing melancholy at that. But then, perhaps it sounded so due to the fact that what he was about to tell her was the honest truth; and something he had always wanted to tell her but never thought he should.

“Listen, Winry. I know you get all mad at me for never telling you anything-and I know it makes you upset but,” He paused there, as though to recollect his thoughts before continuing-but not before stealing a glimpse at the blonde girl who was watching him expectantly with her arms now crossed defiantly as she waited. “But I just don’t want you to become involved in things that you shouldn’t have to worry about-” Bad choice of words. Very bad. Edward, who realized this almost immediately, quickly recovered before Winry could begin her outburst. “Things you shouldn’t have to worry about burdening yourself with, I mean! I understand you only care for us, Win’, but please, believe me when I tell you that I don’t let you in for your own safety.”

Winry, who’s eyes began to flicker as she glared at the boy before her, wasn’t going to give up there, though. “My own safety! Edward, do you actually think I care if I get hurt? No, I don’t! I only care if you two get hurt-”

That was it. Edward could no longer contain his anger, so he just let it all out-though it might’ve been for the better; seeing as how keeping his cool wasn’t working during the two’s conversation.

The alchemist bolted upright and glowered down at her with such fierceness that Winry couldn’t help but slightly flinch. “Stop being so damn selfish, Winry! You may not care if you get hurt-” Before continuing, in one quick movement he was looming over her-his warm breath tingling her cool skin. “But I do!”

Winry was unable to hold in the sharp intake of breath that issued from her throat at that moment as all she could manage was to fumble through her words as she stuttered, “Ed…I…”

Gritting his teeth and closing his eyes, Edward turned around sharply on his heels, stopping at the door, and not bothering to turn around when he whispered coldly, “Oyasumi”. And with those few words spoken, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

As soon as her crush was out the door, Winry side glanced the place where he had sat so warmly next to her merely moments before his sudden departure.
She let out an uneasy sigh before biting her bottom lip slightly. “Oh, Edward…”

--

WITH EDWARD AND ALPHONSE

Alphonse had been patting one of the many kittens that he had been managing to sneak in during the time that Edward had been kept preoccupied with Winry, when that certain alchemist happened to kick open the door, quite literally, actually, as it fell off of its hinges.

“Nii-san!” The armor cried, tossing the kitten aside into the closet and shutting the door in a hurry. “How’d it go?” A nervous laugh echoed his words as he walked away from the closet door.

Edward, who was too busy trying to decide over whether he should be slightly sorrowed by what happened or just angry-like he had been, didn’t notice how Alphonse was acting.
Grumbling incoherent words, he reached into the table drawer and pulled out his trusty notepad and writing utensil.

Dealing with women
Fury-listen to him more often; gentle is good (right?)
Havoc-ignore the bastard; he’s useless when it comes to girls like Winry
Hawkeye-she definitely knows what she’s talking about; but her style doesn’t work for me
Armstrong-
Colonel Bastard -

Alphonse slowly peered over his brother’s shoulder, sneaking a peak at the notes on the small sheet.

“Err, nii-san, what did Major Armstrong teach us about women?” Al asked timidly, tapping his sibling’s shoulder lightly with his hand.

“Oh…uh…” Edward said, pausing to think multiple times. Though, finally, he spoke, placing his notebook and pencil away. “He taught us the values of running away from sparkly people, Alphonse.”

If he could’ve, Al would have gazed at his brother with the most intense confusion and disappointment possible. ‘Nii-san, did your brain finally become over worked from too much steam powered anger?’

“Brother, maybe you should get some rest…” ‘It might help you regain the blood cells that have been knocked out from Winry’s wrench…’ Alphonse added mentally.

“Unh,” Edward sighed, “Yeah, sleep sounds good. I’ll turn in for the night…’Night, otouto!”

He flopped onto his back heavily, not bothering to change into his bed clothes, crossed his arms behind his head and closed his eyes.

Winry was right in what she had said before about him. He really was peaceful and harmless; that it was hard to believe that this boy was the human weapon of the military.
(A/N: Sorry for the interruption, but for those of you who don’t read the manga, Winry says that in volume 3, so don’t yell at me for not having written anything about her saying that or that thing never being in the anime…actually, I don’t know if that happened in the anime, did it? Ah, whatever. Back to the story thing.)

Alphonse sighed inwardly. ‘Nii-san, if only things were easier between you and Winry-then maybe you wouldn’t end up with so many lumps on your head and Winry wouldn’t have small pieces of her heart shattered each and every time you mess up…’
The next morning…

“Ed…Edward….”

Ed could faintly hear the sound of a soft voice calling out to him, urging him to wake from his peaceful slumber.

Scratching his showing stomach slightly in his sleep, Ed rolled over onto his side, mumbling what sounded like a “go away” or “few more hours…”.

“Edward, you have to wake up…”

This time, Edward, still being mostly asleep, flipped over onto his other side, his golden orbs revealing themselves a bit.

“Ed…”

“…Mm, Winry?” He questioned quietly, struggling to open his eyes wider so that he could see the person calling to him.

“Edo…”

That was when he saw her. Like an angel, her face gazing down at him happily, a wonderful smile placed on her lips as his name slipped from her mouth once more.
Still not fully awake, Edward grinned like a drunk and leaned forward, getting ready to kiss his ‘angel‘.

Expecting her lips to be warm, moist, and inviting, the FullMetal Alchemist’s eyes shot open wide when he felt the cool sting of metal meet his lips.

“…Err, nii-san?”

‘…HOLY FUCKING SHIT!’ “ALPHONSE!” Ed was now definitely awake, and had managed to leap off of the bed and away from his little brother. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHERE’S WINRY!”

“What do you mean ‘what are you doing here’? This is our room, nii-san…And why did you get the idea that Winry was…Oh…” The armor soon erupted into a fit of giggles as he loomed over the bed that Ed had previously been sleeping in. “So that’s why you were leaning upward with your lips pursed ready for a smooch!”

If possible, Ed’s jaw dropped to the floor as his face turned beat red. “N-no! It’s not like that, I…I thought it was…umm…uh…”

To say the least, the fifteen year old looked absolutely ridiculous with his face looking like a tomato, the greatest expression of embarrassment and shock plastered on his usually slightly tanned face, and his golden locks perched in peculiar places giving him the bed-head-effect. And then there was that one little thing that seemingly hadn’t managed to sneak it’s way out yet…

“Oh, um, nii-san…” Al managed to spurt out through his giggle fits, pointing at the bulged area. “I get the idea that you were having more than just kissing in mind!”
By some sort of miracle, Ed’s face turned an even deeper shade of red as he quickly scooted to the bathroom to take care of his little ‘problem’.

--

LATER ON-WITH WINRY-TAKE FOUR-ARMSTRONG’S TRADITION

“Umm, so, nii-san, you did do something about-” Al began, holding back more giggles that threatened to escape his hollow cavern of a body any minute, though was cut off by the elder Elric teen.

“GAH! HAI, HAI, HAI, NOW DON’T MENTION IT AGAIN!” The alchemist went into another one of his fits, one that didn’t happen to be about his height or Winry (though this one had a sort of connection with Winry), but something different.

Chortling to himself, Alphonse continued walking by his brother’s side down the full hallway.

Al spoke once more, though this time, a little more seriously, “So, what’s your plan this time?”

Glancing up at Alphonse, Ed offered a grin. “Armstrong’s the one to help this time, Al.”

“Err…”

Grinning wider, Edward reassured Al. “Don’t worry, it will all be okay. And if it’s not, you’re going to stand in front of me to deflect any flying wrenches, right?”

Sighing, Al shook his head. “What, while you run like hell for your life?”

Nodding his head thoughtfully, Edward replied with a “Yes, yes, that should suffice.”.

“Oh!” Alphonse said suddenly, “Look, Ed, there’s Winry!”

“Hmm?” Edward looked away from his little brother to see Winry walking towards them through the crowd of people bustling through the corridors of the large hotel.

“Edo-kun, Aru-kun!” She called out, waving as she picked up her walking pace a bit.

“Wait for it, wait for it…” Edward whispered, getting in a fighting stance.

When Winry was about only a good five feet away from them, Ed suddenly threw his arms into the air and screeched, “AAAAH! RUN FOR IT, AL, RUUUUNNN!”

And with those words so wisely spoken, Edward ran down the hall ‘like hell’ as Al had previously put.

“Ah! Nii-san!” The armor cried out helplessly, looking back for a moment before turning his head back to meet Winry’s eyes.

He could clearly see two things: Confusion and anger-meaning she knew that the small tantrum of ‘fear’ was directed towards her approach, though that she was befuddled as to why it happened. For a moment, the young Elric brother could’ve sworn he saw hurt flicker through her sapphire eyes-but even if it was there, it vanished faster than a mad fan girl could wail on about how hot or cute her favorite ‘bishie’ was.

Stalking up towards the empty suit of armor, pushing her way roughly through the rest of the groups of people that were still blocking her way, Winry locked her eyes on Alphonse. “What the hell was that!”

“Umm, nii-san’s…” Not thinking clearly, and not wanting to awaken the rage that was clearly ready to be unleashed upon him at any moment, he said the only thing that came to mind, “Edward’s pregnant and having mood swings, I have to go see if he’s throwing up his lunch like last time-you know how bad the sickness is when you’re pregnant! BYE!”

Winry stood there dumbfounded as Al rushed back down the hall, following his brother’s steps as best he could. “Okay, now that’s just fucking scary…”

When the reality of the words spoken by her childhood friend had sunken in, Winry’s hands flew up to her hair and she screamed out, “WHAT?”

--

WITH EDWARD AND ALPHONSE

When Alphonse ran into the room he and his brother shared, he closed the door and turned around to see Edward panting slightly and scribbling down in his notebook again.

Dealing with women
Fury-listen to him more often; gentle is good (right?)
Havoc-ignore the bastard; he’s useless when it comes to girls like Winry
Hawkeye-she definitely knows what she’s talking about; but her style doesn’t work for me
Armstrong- Definitely not the best approach-I want to stay alive through all of this
Colonel Bastard -

Sighing heavily, Edward put his belongings back into the drawer and averted his gaze to see Alphonse.

“So, what happened after I left?” He asked nervously, quirking a brow slightly in curiosity as he leaned back onto the pillows that were on the bed.

“Well,” Al began, placing his right hand behind his head as he sweat dropped. “Winry was really P-OED, and if I hadn’t come up with something fast, then she would’ve killed you and me both, so…”

“So…” Edward motioned with his hands for his otouto to continue, though he felt a creeping up his spine telling him that there was something going on here that he wouldn’t like.

“So, I told Winry you were pregnant,” Al explained.

5...

Ed’s eyes opened widely for a moment.

4...

Though they settled back down soon afterwards. “You’re joking right, Al?”

3...

Alphonse shook his head ‘no’.

2...

Edward suddenly paled.

1...

“YOU TOLD HER WHAT!”

0...

“WHAT THE FUCKING FLIPPING FRIGGING GOD DAMNED HELL, AL!”

“I’m really sorry and all, Edward,” Alphonse reasoned with his brother. “But do you actually think that she believes it-I mean, you’re a guy-the male species don’t get pregnant!”

Edward suddenly stopped in the middle of his rant, and blinked. “Oh yeah.”

“Oh, brother…” Al sighed heavily, sweat dropping.

“Right, so, umm…” Edward mumbled, scratching the back of his head. “I’m going to bed…”

“Err, nii-san?” Alphonse interrupted loudly.

Edward, who had just abruptly laid himself onto the bed with no warning, cocked his head slightly as if saying “I’m trying to sleep here, but, what do you want?”

Alphonse sighed (Al likes to sigh…). “Nii-san, it’s only the afternoon, I don’t think it would be wise to fall asleep now. You’re wasting very valuable hours on making Winry yours, you know.”

The older boy scowled rather harshly before tuning on his side so that he was no longer facing his little sibling. Though, when he was sure that the armor couldn’t see his face, Edward smirked slyly to himself, musing, ‘Oh, but I think I’m going to need my energy for tonight-it’s when I make my last and final move by following Taisa’s advice…’
Shaking his metallic head, Al stood and walked out of the room-probably going for a walk or something-but, that’s not important to the story, so, let’s just go see how Winry’s doing while Ed’s snoring away, shall we?

---

WITH WINRY

“Oh, he can be such a jerk!” Winry fumed as she stomped into her room. “But then again,” She faltered as she took her normal seat on her soft bed, playing with the slight fringe on the hem of her black skirt.

“He…he has been acting very moody lately, but, if what Al said is true…then…” She shook her head involuntarily, as though attempting to dismiss the horrid thought that her beloved Edward was gay and pregnant.

“No, I have to think on the bright side of things! Hai, that’s what I’ll do! …” She paused, soon deciding to go out on the town for a shopping spree.

---

FAST FORWARD TO THE ACTUAL PART OF THE STORY THAT MATTERS-WITH EDWARD AND WINRY-FINAL FORM OF ACTION-ROY MUSTANGU TAISA’S WISDOM OF WORLDLY WOMEN!

It was now rather late, and Edward was wide awake and fully refreshed. He had changed out of the clothes he had worn to bed, and into the same ones-only a clean version.

Edward was standing outside of Winry’s door alone this time-Alphonse was petting the cat’s that he thought Edward didn’t know about in the closet. So, the alchemist thought it would be for the better if he let his little brother be. Besides, he had much more important things to take care of at the moment.

“Things will go my way for sure this time. Taisa, I know you’re very popular with women, so don’t fail me now!” Ed was cocky, as usual. But little did he know, that this plan, like all the others, would fail quite miserably. But, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, isn’t that what they say?

Clearing his throat a bit, Edward knocked softly on the hardwood door, taking only seconds to hear the mellow droll of footsteps slowly approaching the door.

‘She was probably sleeping’, He thought to himself, partly feeling guilty for waking her from one of her slumbers, and partly being happy that since she’d be half asleep, he would have the advantage.

“E-Ed?” Winry’s voice was deep and husky, signifying she had indeed been sleeping.
Edward looked up from the floor, which he had previously been staring at as he thought in his head what the outcome of what would happen afterwards.

His eyes locked with her half lidded ones, before she walked back inside, leaving the door open for him to come in.

She collapsed onto her white sheets, snuggling up to one side of the bed, and facing his direction, as he did the usual routine-walk in, close the door, take a seat on the bed near her.

“Okay, Edo…what do you want,” Her voice was flooded with sleep, as she was clearly struggling to keep her eyes open, “At one A.M.?” That was when her words turned slightly sharper, but the tiresome softness that continued to issue from her dulled her sharp tongue greatly.

Edward, who hadn’t been listening; was taking in the sight before him:

Winry was clothed in her usual, small white nightgown that, as he was now noticing, complimented her curves quite nicely as the thin material draped over her shoulders (though, the straps hung loosely over her shoulder blades-which Ed greatly appreciated at the moment), and cascaded gently downwards over her bosom, and then down around her nicely shaped hips.

“Mm…what, Win’?” He murmured, as he broke his gaze away from her, and moved his golden eyes upwards to meet her -still- half-lidded sapphire orbs that were looking intensely at him.

Only a moment later after he had come to return her gaze, she smirked coyly, understanding the reality of the situation. “I can tell you’re finding this as quite a turn on and everything, but I suggest you don’t go and get hard while you’re still in here, you hentaii.”

Edward, who was desperately fighting back a furious blush, took the offensive. ‘Time to make my move, and according to Mustang, this is full-proof!’ “Well, Winry, I can’t help it,” He spoke, his words becoming softer as he uttered each one, leaning down so his mouth was right on her ear. “If you look extremely sexy about half naked in front of me.”

That was what caught her attention. If not for still being somewhat asleep, she would’ve blushed uncontrollably at that statement, but all she could do was ogle at him in bewilderment as he moved his face closer to hers, so that their noses were only inches apart.

“Can I?” He mouthed, catching the blush that was beginning to rise to her cheeks. Smirking, he quickly closed the gap between them, claiming her lips in a hard, fierce kiss.

Gasping sharply into the sudden kiss, Winry’s eyes shot wide open as her pupils dilated. This time, she was awake. And she was not liking what was going on-especially when she could feel a sneaky hand making its way to groping her bottom in the middle of the harsh kiss.

Using some of the strength that her body managed to conjure up after removing itself from its previously paralyzed, shocked state, Winry pushed the boy off of her lightly, and was surprised when he moved away so willingly when he felt her rejecting attitude.
He lifted his left hand up to cup her chin lightly, as his right hand slid up her back, moving her upward into a sitting position on the bed, with him slightly hovering over her.
The mechanic shuddered at the feel of the cool metal sifting through the thin material’s layer, sending chills through her spine as her mind continued to contemplate the situation.

“You know…” Edward whispered huskily, leaning over and giving her earlobe a slight flick of the tongue. “You want me,” He finished, pulling back with a kinky look on his face as he witnessed her blush several shades of red, whilst looking down the entire time.

“No.”

He could barely hear it, but it was enough to make him freeze. “What..?”

“No, Edward…why are you doing this?” She whimpered under his touch as his flesh hand grazed her cheek, his face paling some at her voice.

“Winry, I…” He was going to apologize to her, tell her something, but she cut him off when she pushed him roughly off of her with all the force she had at the moment, and stormed to the door.

As she was opening it, she whispered to him coldly, “Don’t come near me again, until you’re ready to show me how the real you would handle me…”

With those words said, she left, in only her nightgown, into the freezing night, and out of the safety of the hotel.

The Elric boy, who had been standing with his eyes wide open in shock after he had been so roughly pushed off of her, inhaled in a shaky manner. “Winry no baka…” He whispered, though he knew he was the fool for trying to be someone he wasn’t just to win the girl of his dreams over.

As realization smacked him rudely upside the face, he clambered out the door, down the hotel corridors, and out the hotel doors.

“Winry!” He called, hoping to hear some sort of reply. Though, in the back of his mind, he wasn’t surprised when he got none.

“Winry!” He tried again, running over to the side of the building. “Winry-”

“Edward…”

He spun around to find Winry standing there behind him, with a forlorn expression on her normally joyous face.

“W-Winry…I…” He tried to speak again, but was surprised when the girl suddenly ran towards him, and embraced him warmly.

That was when he could feel the hot tears spilling down her cheeks and onto his shirt; but that was none of his concern.

With her arms wrapped tightly around Edward, Winry stood there for a moment or two with her head buried in the young man’s chest, sobbing her heart out until tears could no longer come.

Edward hesitantly set his arms around her, not quite sure if he had permission to do so after their little incident…

“Edo-kun.” He heard her hoarsely whisper to him, the soft wind carrying her voice slightly as she moved her head up to loom at him.

“Please, just…show me the Edward Elric that I know and…love…” She spoke firmly, but a strange uncertainty hid within her eyes, but was gone within moments when Edward looked down at her, smiling lightly.

“Sure, Winry,” He answered softly, lowering his head to the crook of her neck and inhaling her scent slightly, his hold around her tightening.

“Winry, I know that we don’t always get along, and I know that I can…be a big idiot sometimes,” He chuckled when he heard her murmur “damn straight” into his chest, where her head was once again nuzzled. “But, I Edward Elric, have fallen in love with you, Winry Rockbell.”

“Mm, is that it?” She asked sleepily. Normally, Ed would’ve killed her for saying something like that, but, then again, she didn’t have to say anything-he was the one that needed to repay her.

Her head shot up upon hearing these words, and she frowned at him, punching him in the arm playfully. “Oh, so, the great FullMetal Alchemist Edward Elric admits his love for the greatest and most beautiful auto-mail mechanic around, and does nothing afterwards?” She teased.

He scowled at her. “Oh, be happy with what you got out of me…”

She smiled, as though in a way, she was telling him that she appreciated him telling her what she’d been waiting to hear for years.

…

“Wow, Taisa, it worked!” Fury whispered, astonished.

“Yeah, I didn’t think it would happen, but it did,” Havoc commented afterwards, his cigarette drooping slightly from his mouth.

“I suppose I should say ‘good work, sir’, but I think they could have managed on their own,” Riza said subtly, closing her eyes and sighing.

Roy laughed lightly. “Come on, Riza, lighten up. Think of it in a way that I was just, speeding up the process a little, hmm?”

The military personnel had been watching the scene from afar, and little did anyone know, Alphonse was back up in his and Ed’s room, clutching onto the cat’s as though for dear life as he shouted how happy he was for his brother and Winry.

“Ed…I’m cold…” Winry complained after a moment of sweet, blissful, silence.

“Let’s go back inside, then,” Edward replied, though neither of them made any attempt to move whatsoever.

“Oh, and umm, Ed…” She stuttered, as though looking for the right words that she was about to word her sentence with.

Ed looked down at her. “What is it?”

“So, umm, does this mean you’re not gay and you aren’t pregnant?”

“NANI!”

---

FIN