Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Edward's Big Adventure ❯ The Beginning ( Chapter 1 )

Edward Elric was a small boy. And a tempermental one at that. He hated for people to make fun of him, especially about his size.

One day, he decided to find the Streachable Stone. The Streachable Stone was a legendary stone which could make the user streach in any way it wanted. Edward’s purpose was of course to take away the vertically challengedness he was cursed with.

He began the day by of course, waking up. When he woke up he stumbled out of bed into the bathroom to brush his teeth. As he put his foot up to climb onto the step he had to stand on to brush his teeth, he tripped over the curling iron cord and fell, badly injuring his earlobe.

“What the fuck! If I wasn’t so f-ing short I’d never have f-ing had to use this f-ing stool to f-ing brush my f-ing teeth on this f-ing stupid f-ing day! What the f-ing fuck?!!!!!”

It was then that the idea of finding the Streachable Stone popped into his mind. He quickly brushed his teeth, massaging the sore earlobe. He mulled over his plan over a bowl of silent Rice Krispies--Crackle had lost an arm a week ago due to his abrasive voice. Like I said before, Ed was a tempermental boy.

Ed then decided to run his idea by his brother, Al.

“But, Big Brother, what will I do while you are gone? What if the stone eats you, and I’ll never get to see you again?! Let me come with you!”

“Alas, dear brother, who will be here to console Roy if I die?”

“B-but--”

“Do not contradict my wishes. I shall return. I shall prevail!!!”

And with that, Ed turned on his heel and left the house. He had not gone three feet before his arm fell off.

“Damn that bitch, she forgot the fucking screw! Now what the hell am I supposed to do?!”


Miraculously, twenty miles away Alex Louis Armstong heard Edward’s pitiful cries of anger. He rushed to Ed’s home, carrying his handy dandy do-it-yourself automail repair kit.

“Have no fear, dear boy, I shall have you fixed up in no time!” When Armstrong stepped back, Ed’s arm was good as new. Despite the fact that the fingers were sewn to his neck.

“Uh..dude, I think I should let Winry be the one to fix this..”

“No time, dear boy, you must go on your quest! It has been written in the stars! You must go and fufull your destiny! No go! Run! Run! Ruuuuunnnnnn!” Armstrong wiped a tear from his eye, staring at something off in the distance, waving his hand.

“Dude, I’m right here.” Ed looked up at Armstrong, his golden eyes filled with concern for the grown man’s mental health. “’K, well, whatever. I’m off.”