Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Finding ❯ Losing Lilly's Heart ( Chapter 25 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Lilly woke up a few hours later and begged Ed not to go. Of coarse, being as stubborn as he is, nothing seemed to convince him. He knew that Lilly was telling the truth about the dream, but it only made him want to go even more so the person he is after doesn't kill again. He knew it would be dangerous, but he had to do it. He wanted to be the one to bring that murdurer in. Lilly hadn't stoped crying and her pleading words only got weaker and weaker each time she said them. Ed pushed her away more than enough times that day to get her to stop, but Lilly was persistant. Finally the sun began to set and it was time for Ed and two other Alchemist to leave.

Everyone was outside to see Ed off. Ed put his last suitcase in the car then turned to Al.

"Brother, please let me go with you. I can help and you know it." Al said.

Ed shook his head and gave his brother a hug. Al held on and Ed fought to get loose. Al let his tears fall freely as he watched Ed shake everyone's hand and them all wishing him good luck. Lilly was the last one Ed came to. Her head was down and her tears were still heavy. Her face was hidden behind her hair. Ed tryed to pull her face up by her chin but she pulled away from him. Ed was hurt, but knew that this was hard for her since he was leaving and she had no controll over it. Ed turned away and took a step. Suddenly he felt something grap his wrist. He turned his head and saw Lilly's arm extended out and her hand tight around his wrist. Her head was still down and her tears were still falling.

"If you leave I will no long be yours. I will not be with you any longer. If you leave, you will loose me." Lilly said with her head still down and load enough for everyone to hear.

Ed gasped. Is she serious? Will she really leave me? How can she do that!? I thought she loved me! Lilly let go of his wrist and resumed her arm at her side without looking up once. Ed turned forward again. He walked away from her and to the car. Lilly knew he would still go but she meant what she had said. She would not be his if he left.

Ed turned around to face her before getting in the car. Lilly still had not looked up. Ed ran to her and pulled her head back. He planted a deep and passionate kiss on her lips. Lilly didn't attempt to kiss back nor respond. She was like a lifeless doll. Ed pulled back and peered into her wet eyes. She looked drained and sad beyond anything Ed had ever seen.

"Do you really not want me to go that bad? Will you pretend to not love me anymore when I return?" Ed asked and the verge of tears.

Lilly just stared into his eyes as if he had not said a word. She no longer felt her tears nor her pain. It was as if she was the walking dead. She felt nothing, reacted to nothing, and looked like nothing. It chilled Ed to the bone. He let go of her and steped back with a shocked and confussed look on. Everyone watched as he turned his back to her once again and his tears fell silently from his face. Ed open the car door and got in. He didn't look back as the car drove away. Lilly's lifeless like body stood stiff as Al shook her to get her to respond. Celine had also came to Lilly's side and spoke to her to try to get her to snap out of it. Lilly never responded and never looked away from the spot Ed had walked away from. Her heart had left her and her mind had given up on her. She was left with nothing but an empty body. She hadn't even noticed that her body had pushed away from Al's grasp and was just walking into her room.

Her body closed and locked the door as she walked in. She looked around at the room that seemed so empty and sad. She fell onto her bed and tryed to search for any feeling. Nothing ever came to her, not even sadness.

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Celine layed her hand on Lilly's door. Al walked up to her and rested his hand on her shoulder. Celine looked down.

"She has been in there for two days stright. I have tryed my best to get her out. I'm not even sure if she is still alive, since she won't make a sound nor answer any of my pleads. What eles is there to do?" Celine asked.

"Lilly isn't human, I don't know if she can last much longer without food or water. If I bust done the door and try to force her to eat, she will only refuse to and might fight with me. There is nothing more we can do than just wait." Al said.

"How could Ed just leave her like this? She needs him and he needs her."

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Ed had been searching for the murdurer for three days before he had decided to go home. He had planed to go home a day before because he couldn't get Lilly's words or expression off his mind, but he ended up having to stay since he had called Mustang and told him he wanted to come home, but Mustang told him stay untill a person arrived in his place. Ed sat on the train seat and watched the trees pass by. I should have never left her. I should have let my pride go away and stayed like she asked. How could I have been so stubborn and stupid? At least when I get home, I know she will be happy to see me. That makes eveything seem like it's ok.

Ed walked off the train and got into the car for home. Once he got there Celine, Al, and Winry was waiting for him with a hug from each. Celien and Al had invited Winry over so she can help with Lilly. They ened up busting down Lilly's door. Ed smiled at his welcome. Celine pilled on question after question, but Ed only had one in mind.

"Where's Lilly?" Ed asked as someone took his bag.

"Ed it wouldn't be wise to see her right now." Celine said with her head low.

"What do you mean? I came back just to see her and to tell her I'm sorry for leaving in the first place." Ed said walking towards Lilly's room.

Winry grabed his shoulder as Ed came to Lilly's door. Ed turned and faced her.

"Ed, Lilly's mind, heart, and soul is gone. She is nothing but an empty body. Once she told you she would no long be yours if you left, she meant it. Once you still insisted on going, her heart, mind and soul left her just as you did. She is nothing but the walking dead. She doesn't eat, sleep, nor react to anything. She just sits in her bed and stares out the window. Ed, if you go in there, you won't see the same Lilly you know. She isn't the same and we think she never will be, even if you are back." Winry said.

"Do you really believe that I am going to believe you? Once she sees me she will be her old self again." Ed said and opened the door.

Ed eyes grew wide with shock as he looked at the girl sitting in her bed and staring at the window. She slowly turned her head to face Ed. She looked dead.

"Once she said she would no longer be yours, I think she meant she would no longer be anyones. If she can't be with you, Ed, I don't think she wants to be with anyone eles." Al said as Ed stared at the lifeless girl.

"Lilly..." Ed whispered and took a step in.

Just as Ed placed both feet in the room, Lilly's blue sheild came up and knocked him back. Ed sprung to his feet and tryed to go through the sheild like he had done before, but he never made it through.

"How did she get her powers back? She hasn't used them before now." Celine said.

"Why can't I get through?!?! It worked before!" Ed yelled and banged on the blue sheild.

"It also shocked people before, that is if they touched it. Maybe she just wants to keep us out." Al said.

"I don't think that's the case. Why would she put up a sheild now if she didn't want us near her before? I think Lilly doesn't want....Ed in." Winry said.

Ed looked at the girl inside the dome. Do they relly think I am just going to give up on her like this? Do they think that I am just going to let her push me away when she needs me the most? I am the only one who can get her emotions back. I've done it before.

"Edward, I want to take Lilly home with me for awhile. Just untill I can find out if she can be brought back from this state." Winry said.

"No. I want her here. I want to stay with her."

"What good can you do if she doesn't want you near her? She is pushing you away for a reason and I think if you give me time, I can find out why."

Ed steped away from the sheild and out of the room. Suddenly, the shield disappeared and Ed sighed. She's right. I have no choice. Maybe getting her away from this place will do her some good. Maybe then she will be safe since no one will know where she is at. This is all my fault. I have torn her to pieces. She told me that this would happen if I left, and I didn't beleive her. I didn't know that she would also leave herself too.

"Fine. Leave tonight. That way no one will see you leave and you will have a safe trip." Ed said and turned his back to them.

Celine reached her hand out for Ed and whispered his name, but he ignored her and started walking to his room and his silent tears soaked his heart broken face.

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Ed help me. I can see you standing there but I can't hear you. What are you all talking about? How come you can't get threw my sheild? Why aren't you trying to help me? Why can't you here me? Edward!! Don't leave! Where are you going? Come back!! Please, I'm lost and I can't find my way back to you! I can't move! I can't controll this body! Help me! Please don't leave me here in this room with them! I want you here with me! Why are you walking away?!? Come back! Edward!!!

Ed....why are you crying?

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Celine and Winry got Lilly dressed in a new white dress and put her hair up in a pony tail. Celine sliped on her white shoes as Al and Winry packed her things. Al had held back his tears so not to upset the girls, but the girls were holding back their tears so not to upset him. Al had been with Lilly since the first time he and Ed saw her and watching her in this state, not able to help, was slowly eating him alive. Winry looked at the lifeless body as she packed Lilly's things. Lilly had been nothing but kind to her since the day they met, and Lilly forgiving her for her bretral was what made them friends. Watching a friend go from being happy and peepy to dull and emotionless was really hard to accept. Celine didn't know Lilly that well, but she knew that Ed loves her and that was enough to upset her to see the man she had grown to care for hurt so much.

Al picked up Lilly as the moon began to show in the night sky. Mustang and some others had just put Lilly's things in the car and Armstrong had planed to escort Winry and Lilly to Winry's home so nothing would happen. Al placed Lilly gently in the car and kissed her on her pale and cold cheek. He looked up at Ed's window. Ed had his human hand on the glass and had streaks of tears running down his face. Al knew that this was the hardest thing Ed had to go through. Watching the love of your life leave and not saying good by because she is incapable of saying anything and doesn't want you near her, was like riping your heart out yourself then throwing it on the ground to watch yourself blood to death. Winry thanked everyone for their help then got in the car beside Lilly. Celine looked up at Ed's window and saw him fall to his knees and punching the ground with his metal arm. The car drove off and Lilly was out of sight. Al then let his tears fall freely and walked back inside as the crowd cleared. Celine stood outside stareing at the sky and debating weither to go see Ed or leave him alone.

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< br> Where am I going? Al, where are you carrying me to? Why are all my things being packed? Where is the bear Ed gave me? Where is Ed? Why am I being put into a car? Al.... Al!! Don't leave me here! I want to go back inside right now! Why can't I move? Why can't you hear me? Ed, where are you? I need your help! I need you....