Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Hagane no Renkinjutsushi - Summarized ❯ Episode 7 - Chimera ga Naku Yoru ( Chapter 7 )

Mustang: This is an important, delicate piece of custom craftsmanship. Here, catch! Now out of my office.

Tucker: I'm not standing here at my window angsting over my daughter for any particular reason. This isn't foreshadowing or anything.


*Opening credits*


Edward: What the hell is this? More stuff before the title card?

Havoc: It won't be clear until later, but you outrank me now, you little twerp. Man, I should have been a State Alchemist. Oh, have some exposition, this will come in useful for the next episode.

Edward: That was funky. Where's the damned title card?


*Title card : The Night the Chimera Cries*


Edward: Oh, there it is. Check out my pocketwatch! I'll hold it out so the dog can swipe it easily ... guess I probably ought to be more careful with that.

Tucker: Geniuses do exist. And right now one is wigging out on my lawn.

Havoc: Before I go, lemme toss the plot your way.


*later, at dinner*


Tucker: In keeping with my tradition of not telling you jack shit about the whole State Alchemist thing until the last second, lemme fill you in now about the annual assessment.

Nina: Look how cute I am!

Edward: Show us your chimera when you're done with it. I'll regret these words later, won't I?


*later*


Edward: Pay attention, I'm writing this letter with my LEFT hand.

Nina: Look how cute I am! Oh, and O-kaa-san said that O-tou-san is a loser.

Alphonse: We'd figured that out already.

Tucker: Yep, I'll confirm that I'm a loser.

Nina: Look how cute I am!


*the next morning*


Edward: Why am I walking the dog? Is this a chore I was assigned in exchange for staying here? Oh look, there's plot on the dining room table. Although we can question why Tucker left this laying around where I could find it, it's at least not a huge clue in bold blue type. Here is a mystery worthy of my genius, where I can make huge leaps of deductive reasoning to reach the correct conclusion! Finally!


*central library, first sector branch*


Edward: Look into it more carefully! I'm not a regular person!

Librarian: No shit. If you were a regular person, we would have thrown you out on your ass.

Edward: ... oh yeah.


*outside*


Scar: I'm not standing in for an unnamed Middle Eastern culture or anything like that. Hey, you're a brassy little kid, trying to stop me like this.

Edward: Sorry, but it's a rule, you know? And we all know how much respect I have for rules.

Scar: Aww, shit, my arm is out.

Edward: Wow, I knew I could crush metal with this automail, but it didn't occur to me that I could maybe rip fabric with it too. By the way, I'm cute when I'm speechless, aren't I? This won't happen often, so get a good look.


*at Hughes' place*


Edward: I'm here to find out about the plot.

Hughes: I don't have a lot of time to give you exposition, but I'll tell you about Tucker's chimera, and contradict the information you've already been given about his wife. You will, of course, believe my version even though I imply that I could be wrong about it.

*phone rings*

Hughes: Time to set up the plot for the next episode!


*commercial break*


Hughes: Even though you're a twelve-year-old kid, and an alchemist and not any kind of investigator, I'll let you come along, Ed.

Edward: ARRGH! FLASHBACKS! I guess I must be human after all, otherwise I wouldn't have passed out like this.


*back at Tucker's place*


Edward: ... who undressed me?

Tucker: You were talking in your sleep.

Edward: Did I get undressed in my sleep too??

Tucker: But that's okay, because I understand how you feel. This will set up for my later attempt to forge a link with you by comparing how your background and motives are not so different from mine.

Alphonse: Hey, who are you people?

Edward: It takes me less than two seconds to braid my hair.

Gran: I finally get some lines. I'm here to move you out of the house. At gunpoint. Because simply ordering you to move out, or asking politely, just wouldn't work.

Nina: Look how cute I am!

Alphonse: Where exactly are we moving to?

Edward: Y'know, that's never really addressed. Oh well, I guess this is when we start becoming nomads.

Gran: It's time to prove that I'm a dick, in case the bit with the guns didn't make it clear enough. I want results! Results are all that matter! And don't forget, this is all about me, and my standing as your sponsor.

Tucker: Please explain to me why I, as an alchemist, would ever need to be without food or shelter. I can transmute pretty much anything I need out of junk laying around!

Gran: ... beside the point!


*later*


Nina: Look how cute I am!

Tucker: That's it! I have to be rid of this GODDAMNED CUTENESS!


*later*


Edward: Why are there guards on Tucker's house?

Alphonse: Obviously Gran knows that you never do what you're told.

Edward: I fucking hate being a genius.

Tucker: Come on in, boys, let me show you my chimera.

Edward: I fucking knew I'd regret saying that.

Alphonse: ... why are there transmutation arrays on the ceiling?

Chimera!Nina: I'm not cute anymore. Tragedy!

Alphonse: I'm slow on the uptake here.

Edward: Nobody has to tell me this is Nina. I already know. I fucking hate being a genius. Somebody shoot me in the head.

Chimera!Nina: Let me twist the knife a little by attempting to recapture a glimmer of my former cuteness.

Edward: Since the clues on this were less obvious, explaining the whole sordid thing doesn't count as cabbage-lines. For once!

Tucker: Here's where I try to compare myself to you. I'm an alchemist, and I'm amoral!

Edward: And here's where I resort to violence. Bet you forgot that my right fist is steel. Let me remind you. I'm adorable when I'm upset, aren't I?

Gran: There's really no reason for me to barge in that this moment, but I will anyway, before Edward goes seriously crazy or maybe fixes Nina. We can't have either of those things happening. It would mess up future episodes.


*outside*


Gran: Hit a child? Would I do that? You betcha! I don't want anybody forgetting that I'm a complete bastard. And what a coincidence, I'm an alchemist! Are we sensing a pattern here?

Edward: Hah, forgot that I'm an alchemist too, didn't you? Wait, does this mean that I'm an amoral bastard too?

Chimera!Nina: I'm not cute anymore! I'd rather be dead!

Scar: That can be arranged. It's obvious to me that State Alchemists are to blame. Time for me to step into the role of a major character.

Edward: I'd like to hear that Vic person cry this convincingly!

Alphonse: Damn, this episode was depressing.

Edward: Sure was. But don't hit the stop button yet, the closing credits changed just so you can better appreciate how this has fucked with my psyche.