Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Hagane no Renkinjutsushi - Summarized ❯ Episode 17 - Kazoku no Matsu Ie ( Chapter 17 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kinslayer 
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 04.09.2005 | Updated On: 04.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 748 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 04.09.2005 | Updated On: 04.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 748 | Status: Completed
Pinako: Imitating a tobacco-store Indian is a hobby of mine.
Armstrong: This is a peaceful place. It's hard to believe that a firebrand like you came from a place like this.
Edward: Despite how little I care for your company, I don't mind sharing some of our angst with you. We're going to be pouring the angst on during this episode, so we need to start early.
*Opening credits*
*Title card : The House Where the Family Waits*
Pinako: In case you were wondering, we're the family, and we're waiting because we're female and that's a female's job, to wait on the menfolk.
Edward: Yeah, about that. I know I've been ignoring you and not writing like I should, and making you worry, and taking you for granted ... buuuuut ... can we crash on your couch?
Pinako: Sure. That's what we're here for, to fix you up when you get busted up. We're female, as I said.
Edward: Thanks.
Pinako: Now it's time to insult you.
Edward: Ahh, the sounds of home. Nobody can ridicule my height quite like you can, Baa-chan. I keep suggesting better insults to people, but they never catch on.
Armstrong: It's been almost five minutes since I last threw off my shirt!
Audience: MY EYES! THE BURNING! THE BURNING!
Winry: Dammit, I missed braining Armstrong and nailed Ed instead.
Edward: As long as I'm here, I might as well get an automail forehead.
*inside*
Winry: How did you manage to destroy my automail?!
Edward: Well, there was this guy with an arm ...
Winry: You two keep doing dangerous things! It's almost like you're the primary characters or something.
Edward: At least Scar didn't fracture my skull. By the way, what exactly is this that I'm wearing? Boxer shorts? With bicycling shorts under them? Do I have all these layers on under my pants at all times? How do I manage to use the bathroom?
Pinako: Hey look, you've grown. A whole inch in the past four years.
Edward: At least I don't have to worry about letting the hem of my coat out. So, can you finish in a week?
Pinako: Three days! I am Mr. Scott reborn!
Winry: So why are you two in such a hurry? It had better not be anything dangerous! If you get hurt, I'll kill you!
*outside*
Edward: You know, this spare works almost as well as my automail ... remind me again why I have an automail leg?
Alphonse: It looks cool.
Edward: Oh yeah.
*inside*
Pinako: So, what kind of lifestyle do those kids have? We don't get a lot of news out here in the countryside. The people in the cities are so lucky, they get to follow all the details of Edward's life. But we don't even get any letters.
Winry: I guess I forgot to mention that letter that sent me to Central to congratulate Edward back in Episode 8.
Armstrong: My jowls and moustache serve me in place of the mouth I lost in Ishbal.
*outside*
Edward: I haven't had any cabbage-lines in awhile, have I? I'm overdue for a few.
Alphonse: Why don't you go visit Mom's grave?
Edward: I'd rather give you a close-up of my barely-clothed crotch.
*later*
Armstrong: A soldier must not neglect his daily training. This doesn't involve calisthenics or target practice - soldiers chop wood instead.
*out on the road*
Edward: Hey, weren't you the guy who used to bully me in school?
*back at the Rockbells'*
Winry: Stop staring at the cow, people are starting to talk.
Alphonse: I'm having an attack of angst.
Winry: There's a shock.
*at Tricia's grave*
Edward: I'm having angst too. Here Mom, have some weeds I picked along the side of the road.
*later*
Winry: I swear I'm just measuring your leg, and not looking for an excuse to feel you up.
Edward: Sure, I believe that using a piece of string about twelve inches long is intended to measure my leg.
Winry: Please let me take your watch apart!
Edward: Yeah right.
Winry: What if I wiggle around for you?
Edward: ...
Winry: You're gay, aren't you?
Edward: NO!
Winry: Hey Armstrong, you up for a sparkle-war?
*later*
Alphonse: This room, like all inn rooms in Final Fantasy, has three beds ... Oh, and by the way, my angst is still with me.
Edward: Good. I need to set up some angst for later by implying that there's something I need to confess to you and then chickening out at the last second.
*commercial break*
Winry: It's that time you've been waiting for!
Edward: Time to make the Philosopher's Stone!?
Winry: No, time to writhe in unbearable pain!
Edward: Joy ...
Winry: Automail makes me wet! By the way, how do you like it? The weight has been reduced by 80%!
Edward: ... you mean I've been carrying around five times the weight I had to all this time?
Winry: We had to stunt your growth, otherwise you wouldn't have stayed chibi and cute.
*outside*
Edward: Time to fix you up now, Al!
Alphonse: It's about damned time.
Armstrong: So how does this work?
Edward: Let me explain everything to you, so the audience will understand how blood seals work from now on. We're going to be encountering a lot of those soon, so pay attention.
Armstrong: How do you keep the blood from washing off in the rain, or when you knocked Al into the lake in Episode 3?
Edward: I shellacked it. Now stand back while I show you how a maverick alchemist works.
Alphonse: EEP! I'm not wearing my loincloth! I'M NAKED!
Armstrong: I've spent almost the whole episode with my shirt on! I must remedy that!
Audience: ARRRRRRGGGGHHH! NOOOOOOO!
Armstrong: Oh, fine, I'll put it back on ...
Winry: Aha, now is my chance to nose into Ed's watch and discover more angst!
Armstrong: Psyche!
Audience: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... EYES ... MELTING ...
Winry: Here, let me distract you with fanservice of my wiggling ass.
*later*
Edward: I'll help with fanservice of me showering and shirtless.
Winry: Here, have your angst back.
Edward: Dammit.
*later*
Winry: Where did Ed and the rest go?
Pinako: Out. Just wait for them like you always do. Because like I keep telling you, that's what women do - we wait passively on our men while they are out doing things and being active.
Winry: This sucks. Oh well, at least I get a crisp violin rendition of "Bratja." Why weren't all these instrumental versions on the OST?
Alphonse: I'd like to wallow in angst for a bit.
Edward: That's what this whole episode has been about, so go ahead and indulge yourself.
*the next day*
Pinako: You kids come by and have dinner every now and then. Because taking a multi-day train commute out from Central to have dinner with us is such a reasonable request.
Winry: Let's end the episode with angst. Just in case we somehow failed to beat the theme of the episode into somebody.
Armstrong: This is a peaceful place. It's hard to believe that a firebrand like you came from a place like this.
Edward: Despite how little I care for your company, I don't mind sharing some of our angst with you. We're going to be pouring the angst on during this episode, so we need to start early.
*Opening credits*
*Title card : The House Where the Family Waits*
Pinako: In case you were wondering, we're the family, and we're waiting because we're female and that's a female's job, to wait on the menfolk.
Edward: Yeah, about that. I know I've been ignoring you and not writing like I should, and making you worry, and taking you for granted ... buuuuut ... can we crash on your couch?
Pinako: Sure. That's what we're here for, to fix you up when you get busted up. We're female, as I said.
Edward: Thanks.
Pinako: Now it's time to insult you.
Edward: Ahh, the sounds of home. Nobody can ridicule my height quite like you can, Baa-chan. I keep suggesting better insults to people, but they never catch on.
Armstrong: It's been almost five minutes since I last threw off my shirt!
Audience: MY EYES! THE BURNING! THE BURNING!
Winry: Dammit, I missed braining Armstrong and nailed Ed instead.
Edward: As long as I'm here, I might as well get an automail forehead.
*inside*
Winry: How did you manage to destroy my automail?!
Edward: Well, there was this guy with an arm ...
Winry: You two keep doing dangerous things! It's almost like you're the primary characters or something.
Edward: At least Scar didn't fracture my skull. By the way, what exactly is this that I'm wearing? Boxer shorts? With bicycling shorts under them? Do I have all these layers on under my pants at all times? How do I manage to use the bathroom?
Pinako: Hey look, you've grown. A whole inch in the past four years.
Edward: At least I don't have to worry about letting the hem of my coat out. So, can you finish in a week?
Pinako: Three days! I am Mr. Scott reborn!
Winry: So why are you two in such a hurry? It had better not be anything dangerous! If you get hurt, I'll kill you!
*outside*
Edward: You know, this spare works almost as well as my automail ... remind me again why I have an automail leg?
Alphonse: It looks cool.
Edward: Oh yeah.
*inside*
Pinako: So, what kind of lifestyle do those kids have? We don't get a lot of news out here in the countryside. The people in the cities are so lucky, they get to follow all the details of Edward's life. But we don't even get any letters.
Winry: I guess I forgot to mention that letter that sent me to Central to congratulate Edward back in Episode 8.
Armstrong: My jowls and moustache serve me in place of the mouth I lost in Ishbal.
*outside*
Edward: I haven't had any cabbage-lines in awhile, have I? I'm overdue for a few.
Alphonse: Why don't you go visit Mom's grave?
Edward: I'd rather give you a close-up of my barely-clothed crotch.
*later*
Armstrong: A soldier must not neglect his daily training. This doesn't involve calisthenics or target practice - soldiers chop wood instead.
*out on the road*
Edward: Hey, weren't you the guy who used to bully me in school?
*back at the Rockbells'*
Winry: Stop staring at the cow, people are starting to talk.
Alphonse: I'm having an attack of angst.
Winry: There's a shock.
*at Tricia's grave*
Edward: I'm having angst too. Here Mom, have some weeds I picked along the side of the road.
*later*
Winry: I swear I'm just measuring your leg, and not looking for an excuse to feel you up.
Edward: Sure, I believe that using a piece of string about twelve inches long is intended to measure my leg.
Winry: Please let me take your watch apart!
Edward: Yeah right.
Winry: What if I wiggle around for you?
Edward: ...
Winry: You're gay, aren't you?
Edward: NO!
Winry: Hey Armstrong, you up for a sparkle-war?
*later*
Alphonse: This room, like all inn rooms in Final Fantasy, has three beds ... Oh, and by the way, my angst is still with me.
Edward: Good. I need to set up some angst for later by implying that there's something I need to confess to you and then chickening out at the last second.
*commercial break*
Winry: It's that time you've been waiting for!
Edward: Time to make the Philosopher's Stone!?
Winry: No, time to writhe in unbearable pain!
Edward: Joy ...
Winry: Automail makes me wet! By the way, how do you like it? The weight has been reduced by 80%!
Edward: ... you mean I've been carrying around five times the weight I had to all this time?
Winry: We had to stunt your growth, otherwise you wouldn't have stayed chibi and cute.
*outside*
Edward: Time to fix you up now, Al!
Alphonse: It's about damned time.
Armstrong: So how does this work?
Edward: Let me explain everything to you, so the audience will understand how blood seals work from now on. We're going to be encountering a lot of those soon, so pay attention.
Armstrong: How do you keep the blood from washing off in the rain, or when you knocked Al into the lake in Episode 3?
Edward: I shellacked it. Now stand back while I show you how a maverick alchemist works.
Alphonse: EEP! I'm not wearing my loincloth! I'M NAKED!
Armstrong: I've spent almost the whole episode with my shirt on! I must remedy that!
Audience: ARRRRRRGGGGHHH! NOOOOOOO!
Armstrong: Oh, fine, I'll put it back on ...
Winry: Aha, now is my chance to nose into Ed's watch and discover more angst!
Armstrong: Psyche!
Audience: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... EYES ... MELTING ...
Winry: Here, let me distract you with fanservice of my wiggling ass.
*later*
Edward: I'll help with fanservice of me showering and shirtless.
Winry: Here, have your angst back.
Edward: Dammit.
*later*
Winry: Where did Ed and the rest go?
Pinako: Out. Just wait for them like you always do. Because like I keep telling you, that's what women do - we wait passively on our men while they are out doing things and being active.
Winry: This sucks. Oh well, at least I get a crisp violin rendition of "Bratja." Why weren't all these instrumental versions on the OST?
Alphonse: I'd like to wallow in angst for a bit.
Edward: That's what this whole episode has been about, so go ahead and indulge yourself.
*the next day*
Pinako: You kids come by and have dinner every now and then. Because taking a multi-day train commute out from Central to have dinner with us is such a reasonable request.
Winry: Let's end the episode with angst. Just in case we somehow failed to beat the theme of the episode into somebody.