Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Hagane no Renkinjutsushi - Summarized ❯ Episode 21 - Akai Kagayaki ( Chapter 21 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kinslayer 
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 04.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 672 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 04.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 672 | Status: Completed
Number 66: You're slowing down. Batteries running low?
Alphonse: Am I ... really just a sex toy for Nii-san?
Number 66: Well, that's more logical than you being an artificially-created liability for your brother. I mean, he's a dog of the military because of you, Mustang blackmails him, he spends most of his time looking for a cure for you and getting into trouble because of it ... if you're really a fake, he must be getting something out of this deal.
Alphonse: Wow it makes ... perfect sense when you put it like that. But what about you? What proof do you have that you're not a fake too?
Number 66: Easy. I don't care if I'm a fake or not.
Alphonse: Then why should I care if I'm a fake or not?
Number 66: Because it's required for the plot of the next three episodes.
Alphonse: Dammit!
Scar: Thought I'd drop by, hope you boys aren't busy.
*Opening credits*
*Title card : Crimson Glow*
Scar: I'm not his ally. Disregard how I assist him against you, and how he will shortly protect me from falling rubble. That means nothing!
Alphonse: You're not going to take my leg off again, are you?
Scar: Not today.
Number 66: What the hell is that on your arm!?
Scar: What do you mean? What about it?
Number 66: Aha, I see! You don't realize that your friends tricked you into having the ancient Drachma words for, "I like to fuck small furry animals" tattooed on you! By the way, the location of this little "destroy everything" button is kind of convenient, isn't it?
*elsewhere in the lab*
Greed: These will be my only lines of dialogue for the next nine episodes. Enjoy while you can!
*outside*
Number 66: This gesture means "KISS MY HOLLOW METAL ASS!" I'll see you again in a few episodes, but until then, THE ENTRPRISE WOULD MAKE SCRAP OUT OF AN IMPERIAL STAR DESTROYER!
Scar: Hey, get off me. This position is too suggestive. It's going to spawn fanfics if we're not careful.
Alphonse: Where are you going?
Scar: To chase my small white whale, of course.
*inside*
Edward: It's about damned time I got some screen time here.
Number 48 [head]: I'll be helpful and let you know that the building we're in is booby-trapped to self-destruct. The military trusts soul-bound armor made from serial killers with the power to level their secret research.
Edward: Oh joy.
Computer: WARP CORE BREACH IN THIRTY MINUTES.
Edward: So how about helping me get some information before we're all blown to bits?
Number 48 [head]: Sure.
Edward: We need to resolve this thing with your other half, though.
Number 48 [body]: Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself. I have hands!
Edward: ... Is this going to involve angst?
Number 48 [body]: You betcha!
Edward: Here, have some head.
Number 48 [body]: No, don't reconnect us! Do you have any idea what it's like to have to do everything your older brother says? No, of course not ... I should be talking to Alphonse instead.
Edward: I'll help you get back to normal then!
Number 48 [body]: Don't be goofy. We're criminals. You don't have a monopoly on the angst in this series.
Edward: Yeah, I'm figuring that out.
Number 48 [body]: I can give you some more angst, however, by destroying my blood seal right in front of you.
Edward: Dammit! Don't you people think I have enough guilt? Why couldn't you just lie to me and say you were scooting off to have a cup of tea and destroy it in the closet?
Number 48 [head]: Trust me, this way is more dramatic.
Edward: Oh well. At least I look good when I'm beaten up, bleeding, and distraught.
Number 48 [head]: Yep. Now let's go search for more plot.
*commercial break*
Random Guards: There's something you don't see every day!
*inside the prison*
Random Guards: Let's have a brief, pointless conversation to fill in the cabbages in the audience as to what's going on.
Kimbly: Remember me? No? Well, you will when you watch Episode 15 again.
Random Guard: Have some more cabbage lines.
Kimbly: Thanks. Have some more psychotic rambling.
Gran!Envy: It's a good thing news in Amestris travels slowly. Otherwise these guys might have been aware that General Gran got splattered in East City a couple days ago.
*back in the lab*
Lust: Who let Greed out? Dammit, I didn't need more competition for "Sexiest Sin" to show up!
*elsewhere*
Edward: *singing* There's only one thing that I know how to do well, and I've often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well ...
Number 48: Stop that.
Edward: Oh look, a random combat encounter! Is this the level boss approaching or what?
Chimera!Tucker: Not quite. It's been a long time, Edward-kun.
Edward: Tucker! What the hell are you doing here!?
Chimera!Tucker: I suffer from Sudden Anime Resurrection Syndrome (SARS). There are lots of people with SARS in this lab.
Edward: That's not what I meant! Nina ... Why are you alive when Nina is dead!?
Chimera!Tucker: ... Edward. It's been almost four years. Aren't you over that yet? Move past it, boy.
Edward: Don't fuck with an Elric's angst. That's the rule.
*back in the entry hall*
Alphonse: I know this is probably asking a lot, but could you stop obsessing about my brother? It's getting kind of disturbing.
Scar: He's an alchemist. I have to.
Alphonse: I'm an alchemist too!
Scar: Oh, fine. Here, have some backstory on me and my own older brother.
*flash back*
Young!Scar: Nii-san! Is it true that you've been experimenting with alchemy?
Bruce: This method won't work. Dammit, I'm sure that one text said that fucking the corpse while I did the transmutation would work ...
*later*
NotQuiteAsYoung!Scar: Nii-san! Guess what, we're in a war zone now.
Bruce: Human transmutation didn't work, but playing Lady Godiva with tattoos instead of a horse should. Sorry, kiddo, but we have to destroy Ishbal in order to save it.
*flash forward*
Alphonse: It's okay, man, I'm here for you.
Scar: ... you're touching me. You really do want to be paired with me in fanfics, don't you?
Lust: Sorry to interrupt all this male bonding, but we have a plot to advance.
*elsewhere*
Edward: I like the amount of space they've given you, but this décor just screams "mad scientist." Is that the effect you were going for?
Chimera!Tucker: Kind of, yeah. We have a lot of projects going on here.
Edward: So who has the skill to make the soul-bound armors and talking chimeras? Come on, answer me!
Chimera!Tucker: I'd rather distract you with the glare off my glasses. Go take a look behind Curtain Number Three.
Edward: Great. You just HAD to go and trigger my complex about Nina again. Bastard.
Chimera!Tucker: Come look over here. This room full of incomplete Philosopher's Stone has your name written all over it!
*elsewhere*
Scar: Now, was the abuse of my shirt really necessary?
Lust: We want people to figure out that the array on your arm is the same as the array in the room with Edward, without coming out and saying it. It's clever, see? Oh, damn you, what good are you?
*back in the magic rock room*
Chimera!Tucker: Nobody has succeeded in making the Philosopher's Stone before. It's impossible for a normal alchemist.
Edward: No problem. According to my ego, I'm not a normal alchemist.
Alphonse: Am I ... really just a sex toy for Nii-san?
Number 66: Well, that's more logical than you being an artificially-created liability for your brother. I mean, he's a dog of the military because of you, Mustang blackmails him, he spends most of his time looking for a cure for you and getting into trouble because of it ... if you're really a fake, he must be getting something out of this deal.
Alphonse: Wow it makes ... perfect sense when you put it like that. But what about you? What proof do you have that you're not a fake too?
Number 66: Easy. I don't care if I'm a fake or not.
Alphonse: Then why should I care if I'm a fake or not?
Number 66: Because it's required for the plot of the next three episodes.
Alphonse: Dammit!
Scar: Thought I'd drop by, hope you boys aren't busy.
*Opening credits*
*Title card : Crimson Glow*
Scar: I'm not his ally. Disregard how I assist him against you, and how he will shortly protect me from falling rubble. That means nothing!
Alphonse: You're not going to take my leg off again, are you?
Scar: Not today.
Number 66: What the hell is that on your arm!?
Scar: What do you mean? What about it?
Number 66: Aha, I see! You don't realize that your friends tricked you into having the ancient Drachma words for, "I like to fuck small furry animals" tattooed on you! By the way, the location of this little "destroy everything" button is kind of convenient, isn't it?
*elsewhere in the lab*
Greed: These will be my only lines of dialogue for the next nine episodes. Enjoy while you can!
*outside*
Number 66: This gesture means "KISS MY HOLLOW METAL ASS!" I'll see you again in a few episodes, but until then, THE ENTRPRISE WOULD MAKE SCRAP OUT OF AN IMPERIAL STAR DESTROYER!
Scar: Hey, get off me. This position is too suggestive. It's going to spawn fanfics if we're not careful.
Alphonse: Where are you going?
Scar: To chase my small white whale, of course.
*inside*
Edward: It's about damned time I got some screen time here.
Number 48 [head]: I'll be helpful and let you know that the building we're in is booby-trapped to self-destruct. The military trusts soul-bound armor made from serial killers with the power to level their secret research.
Edward: Oh joy.
Computer: WARP CORE BREACH IN THIRTY MINUTES.
Edward: So how about helping me get some information before we're all blown to bits?
Number 48 [head]: Sure.
Edward: We need to resolve this thing with your other half, though.
Number 48 [body]: Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself. I have hands!
Edward: ... Is this going to involve angst?
Number 48 [body]: You betcha!
Edward: Here, have some head.
Number 48 [body]: No, don't reconnect us! Do you have any idea what it's like to have to do everything your older brother says? No, of course not ... I should be talking to Alphonse instead.
Edward: I'll help you get back to normal then!
Number 48 [body]: Don't be goofy. We're criminals. You don't have a monopoly on the angst in this series.
Edward: Yeah, I'm figuring that out.
Number 48 [body]: I can give you some more angst, however, by destroying my blood seal right in front of you.
Edward: Dammit! Don't you people think I have enough guilt? Why couldn't you just lie to me and say you were scooting off to have a cup of tea and destroy it in the closet?
Number 48 [head]: Trust me, this way is more dramatic.
Edward: Oh well. At least I look good when I'm beaten up, bleeding, and distraught.
Number 48 [head]: Yep. Now let's go search for more plot.
*commercial break*
Random Guards: There's something you don't see every day!
*inside the prison*
Random Guards: Let's have a brief, pointless conversation to fill in the cabbages in the audience as to what's going on.
Kimbly: Remember me? No? Well, you will when you watch Episode 15 again.
Random Guard: Have some more cabbage lines.
Kimbly: Thanks. Have some more psychotic rambling.
Gran!Envy: It's a good thing news in Amestris travels slowly. Otherwise these guys might have been aware that General Gran got splattered in East City a couple days ago.
*back in the lab*
Lust: Who let Greed out? Dammit, I didn't need more competition for "Sexiest Sin" to show up!
*elsewhere*
Edward: *singing* There's only one thing that I know how to do well, and I've often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well ...
Number 48: Stop that.
Edward: Oh look, a random combat encounter! Is this the level boss approaching or what?
Chimera!Tucker: Not quite. It's been a long time, Edward-kun.
Edward: Tucker! What the hell are you doing here!?
Chimera!Tucker: I suffer from Sudden Anime Resurrection Syndrome (SARS). There are lots of people with SARS in this lab.
Edward: That's not what I meant! Nina ... Why are you alive when Nina is dead!?
Chimera!Tucker: ... Edward. It's been almost four years. Aren't you over that yet? Move past it, boy.
Edward: Don't fuck with an Elric's angst. That's the rule.
*back in the entry hall*
Alphonse: I know this is probably asking a lot, but could you stop obsessing about my brother? It's getting kind of disturbing.
Scar: He's an alchemist. I have to.
Alphonse: I'm an alchemist too!
Scar: Oh, fine. Here, have some backstory on me and my own older brother.
*flash back*
Young!Scar: Nii-san! Is it true that you've been experimenting with alchemy?
Bruce: This method won't work. Dammit, I'm sure that one text said that fucking the corpse while I did the transmutation would work ...
*later*
NotQuiteAsYoung!Scar: Nii-san! Guess what, we're in a war zone now.
Bruce: Human transmutation didn't work, but playing Lady Godiva with tattoos instead of a horse should. Sorry, kiddo, but we have to destroy Ishbal in order to save it.
*flash forward*
Alphonse: It's okay, man, I'm here for you.
Scar: ... you're touching me. You really do want to be paired with me in fanfics, don't you?
Lust: Sorry to interrupt all this male bonding, but we have a plot to advance.
*elsewhere*
Edward: I like the amount of space they've given you, but this décor just screams "mad scientist." Is that the effect you were going for?
Chimera!Tucker: Kind of, yeah. We have a lot of projects going on here.
Edward: So who has the skill to make the soul-bound armors and talking chimeras? Come on, answer me!
Chimera!Tucker: I'd rather distract you with the glare off my glasses. Go take a look behind Curtain Number Three.
Edward: Great. You just HAD to go and trigger my complex about Nina again. Bastard.
Chimera!Tucker: Come look over here. This room full of incomplete Philosopher's Stone has your name written all over it!
*elsewhere*
Scar: Now, was the abuse of my shirt really necessary?
Lust: We want people to figure out that the array on your arm is the same as the array in the room with Edward, without coming out and saying it. It's clever, see? Oh, damn you, what good are you?
*back in the magic rock room*
Chimera!Tucker: Nobody has succeeded in making the Philosopher's Stone before. It's impossible for a normal alchemist.
Edward: No problem. According to my ego, I'm not a normal alchemist.