Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Heart of Fire (Royai) ❯ Chapter 5

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

5
"Are you sure you're alright, Sir?" Riza glanced up from walking beside Roy, guiding his way towards the office. "Left."

"Yes. I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know what got into me." He still wasn't sure. He felt lost in the darkness but somehow, being with Riza, it made him feel at ease. Without her…he didn't know. Everyone glanced up when they walked in the office. They were all there—minus one. Havoc had called out for the day.

He winced. Shit.

"He said no hard feelings, Sir." Riza said when she saw the look on his face. She stopped him before entering the room further. Just far enough where the others couldn't overhear them. She caught his arm, curling her fingers around his upper arm.

He tensed.

She lowered her voice, the look in her eyes unreadable. "Can you see again?" She almost sounded hopefully.

The look on his face was shuttered because he wanted it to be true. But all he saw was darkness and he couldn't conceive of using the Stone again. "No, of course not…why?" But he knew why.

"Nothing." She led him the rest of the way into the office until he was at his desk.

Though Roy was tense, his thoughts far off, they progressed into the work day. His mind was preoccupied—torn. Now he understood why the Philosophers Stone was rarely used for self-purpose. He'd used it to see and not even permanent at that. He didn't want to think of himself as one of those people who had been taken in by the Stone but he had felt the power. The call of it. It was pure temptation. He wondered if he could even control it enough to bring the Ishval people what they deserved.


'Don't you even think you can't. He whispered to himself. He couldn't begin to doubt himself now. He closed his eyes, almost wishing as he opened them that he would open them to the sight of Riza. But it was still the same darkness. But she was there. She had always been there, even when he didn't need her. He needed her now. Something to calm his raging mind.

"Are you done with these?"

He nodded and felt the papers slide out from beneath his hands. He knew it had to be time to go, hell, please. Right on cue, the clock chimed and he sighed. Standing, he rubbed the back of his neck. He let her lead him outside. He waited until they were alone, or as alone as they were going to get.

"Hey." He tightened his fingers over the rounded edges of the canes top.

"Yes, sir?"

"Will you go out with me tonight?"

He heard her stop walking, and then everything was silent. He couldn't help but smile as he turned slightly. "I'm kinda lost here, Lt., so how about saying something…" She was there, he just didn't know where.

"Excuse me?" Riza stared at him, sure she'd misunderstood him. He wasn't that daft, was he? He turned towards her and since the entire episode with Havoc, he seemed more at ease. She stared at him, wondering the sudden change from the hard man she'd seen today to the man that she knew. She was dumbfounded. Roy was a womanizer and she knew that. It didn't stop her from caring about him, though. He wasn't asking her out on a date, was he? He knew better. He had a different date every night.

She'd shoot him.

"Will you go out with me tonight?" He wasn't meaning it like it sounded, though. He just couldn't seem of a better way to phrase the words. Right now, he didn't want to be alone. He couldn't.

"No."

He blinked, still the ever growing darkness. No. No? "Why?"

"Why? Don't you think that's a stupid question, sir?" Riza sighed. He really was a little insane. He knew she was likely to shoot him.

"No, I don't." If she knew what was troubling him then she would understand. The problem was he didn't know what was troubling him, so how could he tell her?

"I don't fraternize, sir."

The tone of her voice was hard but that wasn't what had him. It was what she was thinking. He laughed softly. Fraternizing. Of course she would come to that conclusion. He sighed. Some people had come to that conclusion. But it wasn't true. Even though he was blind, he wasn't a saint. She was beautiful—hot. He had to give her that one. Sometimes that ice cold façade of hers made him want to melt it. They had proven many times the depth of their loyalty to each other. She'd been willing to die for him and he had killed any who had dared to try to take her from him.

"I wasn't talking about a date."

He heard the smile in her voice. "Good. I knew you were smarter than that."

He had to wonder, though, what if the fraternization laws were lifted? He groaned and ran a hand down his face. What the hell was he thinking? "I have a lot on my mind." He started walking, knowing she would be his eyes. "It's not a date, but how about dinner? I just…" Roy honestly didn't know what to say.

"Just tell me where and I'll get us there, Sir."

Though she still called him 'sir', he heard the soft underlines of her tone. Riza knew him and she knew something was wrong.

He choose a place a good ways in Central that, as far as they knew, none of the military personal went. Roy was known in Central as the Flame Alchemist and all around here. She wasn't. The word would probably be he'd been out on another date.

She offered to pay for the meal but he, being a man and her superior, wouldn't allow it. She knew something was wrong with him but he didn't tell her. 'Why dammit?' She wanted to ask. She'd sworn to protect him but how could she protect him if he didn't tell her the problem?

"You know you can tell me what's wrong." She glanced up at his face and the vacant eyes that had become such a part of him. She'd become so familiar with his face. When she stared at him, trying to see what he wouldn't show others, he could look but he would never see. She saw what others couldn't.

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I guess it's the stress." He smiled, almost bitterly. "Don't worry. I'm not giving up. I'm still going for the top."

"Well, try to control your stress better than taking it out on poor Havoc." She mentioned for him to turn right towards the vehicle.

"Yea. But he'll be up and ready for another round in about a week, I bet."

He was probably right. But still, his behavior had shocked both her and Havoc. She'd never seen him so cold and focused. He'd almost enjoyed it. When she drove him home he glanced over in her direction. He didn't know what else to say so all he said was "Thank you, Riza."

That alone was a warning of his troubles. He rarely—if ever—called her Riza. It was either Lt or Lt. Hawkeye or just Hawkeye. Or one of those horrible nicknames that he seemed to always have on the ready. She stared after him before sighing, wondering the change in him, and taking off in the direction of her own home.

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