Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ In the act of being drunk ❯ No girls for Havoc ( Chapter 1 )

This fic is written for the soul purpose of watching Elf sqwee like the little fangirl she is :3

(Sorry if there's some OOC…I have yet to see one of the characters in the anime yet and have only read what little of him there is in the two manga volumes I've read) and… I do not own the characters :2

 

 

The clock read three am, and when he gave a quick look at the mess around him, the cans said he'd drank about his body weight in beer…maybe…he was lucky if he'd drunk that little. He gurgled as the ceiling decided it wanted to try crashing down on him, he held a hand up, seeming to keep it in place. Ha, ha! That would teach it, he could hold it in there all night…. Or not. He tumbled forward out of the chair and into a burbled heap on the floor. Now the ground was out to get him! He'd have to correct this, there was no way he was going to let his carpet eat him.

 

“Well now aren't you a genuine mess?” Roy grinned down at the pathetic mass of man for the moment, grimacing when said pitiable man gave everything he'd eaten for the day to that formidable foe of a floor. “I'm surprised you didn't do that earlier, considering your intake…” The flame alchemist kicked a few cans out of the way, picking the other male up by his armpits and tossing the unstable goop of a body back into the chair. “Now what is it that's put you in such a position of utter helplessness?”

 

The eyebrows of the man strewn in that chair knotted together as if in great thought before he slurred out a response. “Damn…dog…. Pissed on mah shoe” Roy blinked several times, his own eyebrow rising from confusion. “And that's what has made you so upset as to drink yourself into a stupor?” He watched the drunkard's head try to shake a no, but it only got about halfway through the action before it drooped forward.

 

“There were re-runs again…” Roy's face expressed dumb-found-meant at the other's retarded excuses. “You can't tell me that's the reason” He sighed when there was another drunk shake of the head and the man once more tried to plunge out of the chair with the action. “Girl turned me down” Roy smacked his face; he kind of proffered the other two excuses. “Lack of sex… it happens to the best of us, my friend” He patted the man's shoulder, making an `oops' noise when the other fell from his seat.

 

“Why don't we lay you down… since you can't seem to sit straight” He dragged his fellow male toward the room, unsure if the man just weighed a lot or if it was that bulge of a beer belly making him damned heavy. In the process of trying to pull the man up and into the bed Roy lost his footing and tumbled against the mattress himself, with a warm body now pressing him down. His body stopped all movement when he felt the questing of hands, which made his length twitch. Well, so much for trying not to take advantage of the intoxicated.

 

“Mmm.. Colonel…” Roy groaned, not having guessed he'd even be recognized what with the other's state of mind. Who was he to complain though? This wouldn't even be remembered in the morning what with the other's drunk memory being dreadful. He meeped when he felt a face pressed against his pelvis and outright laughed. “You need to remove the pants first” There was a murfled sound of understanding and clothes were soon shed while bodies tangled upon the mattress in a fumbling but wicked sort of way.

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Patting all his clothes back into place, Roy moved out the door, the other male very much dead to the world, curled against his pillow. Roy shook his head, grinning as he shut the door and exited the apartment. “If only I could see your face when you question those stains on your sheets, Havoc”