Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ It Takes A Thief ❯ Roy's Problem, Havoc's Plan ( Chapter 1 )

It Takes A Thief

Rating- T

A/N- Oh, hello. This is what could be called my first posted FMA fic. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer- (Raises eyebrow) Uh, huh, yeah, like I own FMA. Not happenin' people. Oh, 'course I also do not own the Discovery Channel series, It Takes A Thief, so, bye bye. (Waves)

WARNING- This contains shonen-ai/malemale/gay pairings. Do NOT say I didn't warn you. Oh, and this does contain robbery of Colonel Mustang and Major Elric's personal items(Yes, they are returned). Television exists in this fanfic, just to make it work.

Pairing(s)- Roy Mustang x Edward Elric, Jean Havoc x Kain Fuery

Summary- Roy Mustang's house never really was that secure. And Ed moving in didn't help matters, in fact, it only made things worse. Now, a member of the military who is an ex-thief(Havoc) and his boyfriend(Fuery) have set off to teach the two a lesson, or, at the very least, raise security. And, we get to laugh at all that happens along the way.

~o~

Roy Mustang only had two worries in life. The first one was what would happen should the fuhrer find out that Roy was trying to overthrow him. The second was what would happen should, oh, say, someone else move into his house that really wasn't security minded.

And right now, fear number two, was quite real, for Edward Elric, the famous Fullmetal Alchemist, Living hero of the people, the only one to ever make a Philosopher's stone, and not to mention Roy's subordinate, had moved into the house.

Roy's security wasn't really that good as it was, and Edward had a tendency to leave doors unlocked. And, that was where the problems began.

About a week after Edward had moved in, the two were at Central headquarters, doing, what else, paperwork. Well, Roy was the one doing paperwork for fear of Major Riza Hawkeye's .9mm handgun, Bang. Edward was sitting at his desk, waiting for a mission that would get him out that hell hole.

Edward had just fallen asleep when Hawkeye left the room for her break, only to have Roy take the time to poke him, awakening the short blonde alchemist with a start.

"DAMN IT BASTARD-TAISA! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?" Edward yelled, angered greatly that he was awakened from sleep. Roy looked at the boy with a blank look on his face.

"I thought that I should remind you that you should lock the doors. And the fact that you're to short to reach the lock is not an excuse Hagane no," Roy replied monotonously, seeing Edward's eye twitch at the short joke. Roy smirked as the boy began to yell at him.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE WOULD GET STUCK IN A DOOR LOCK AND TAKE FIVE MONTHS TO GET OUT OF THE LOCK?"

On the other side of the room, one Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc was enjoying watching the two bickering, the ever constant cigarette in his mouth, even with the constant threats of having his brain shot out by Bang.

Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, the only other person on the other side of the room, did not gain the same type of amusement from Edward and Roy's fights as did his lover, Havoc. As a mater of fact, Fuery was the only one in the room who was actually working. Though, nobody knew if was because he actually wanted to do his work, or the fact that he knew that Hawkeye could return at any minute.

Though, currently, Fuery was worried about the look on Havoc's face, for it foretold of most likely great embarrassment that would befall the colonel, and Edward, within the next week or two. Then again, Havoc had been trying to think of a way to embarrass Roy for the past month, seeing as the colonel had been the one who had shoved him, and Fuery, into that closet, not saying Havoc hated him for that, but you know how Havoc is.

"Jean, what are you..." Fuery started to ask before Havoc put his hand over the other's mouth, silencing the young man. Fuery blinked as Havoc removed his hand, discreetly sliding a piece of paper to the man as a loud bang sounded off. Hawkeye was back.

Edward and Roy turned to look at Hawkeye quite quickly, noticing Bang. Roy laughed nervously and rushed back to his desk to sign his name far to many times.. Hawkeye turned to look at Edward.

"Was the taisa bothering you Edward-kun?" she asked. Edward quickly shook his head. It surprised everyone that everyone, but Hawkeye, seemed to know that Roy and Edward were together.

Later

In the main Military Lunchroom, Fuery had followed the instructions Havoc had given him, simply to meet the man at lunch. Fuery scanned the large room, quickly spotting Havoc, for not to many members of the military had blonde hair. Fuery quickly found his way through the room and sat down across from Havoc.

Fuery gave Havoc a worried glance, "Jean, what are you..." and once again, Fuery was silenced by Havoc's hand.

"I told you to call me Havoc," he said, looking around, so as to make sure that no one overheard the younger man. The fact that he and Fuery were together still wasn't known to most the military, only Hawkeye, Warrant Officer Vato Farman and Roy seemed to know. Not many people. When he was sure that nobody overheard, he removed his hand.

Fuery repeated his question. “What are you planing Havoc?” Havoc grinned evilly at the man.

“Have you ever heard of the Discovery Channel series `It Takes A Thief'?” Havoc asked. Unfortiontaly, Fuery had heard of the show, and watched it occasionally. The spectacled man's eyes widened as he caught on.

“You can't be thinking of doing that!” Fuery said quickly, “You don't even have the money to do it!” he said, hoping to deter Havoc. Sadly, that didn't work. Havoc just grinned and pointed at a pair of female's a few tables behind Fuery.

Fuery turned around, saw the females and turned back around quite worried. If Havoc was planning on getting help from those two. . . Fuery put his hand to Havoc's forehead, to see if the other man was sick or something. Havoc frowned and removed the hand.

“No, I'm not sick. Who else has enough money and would be willing?” He asked, the grin returning full force. Fuery sighed, looks like he wouldn't be able to deter Havoc this time. Why did the man just have to be so stubborn?

“Okay, I'll help. But if Mustang-taisa finds out, you take the blame,” Fuery said, watching as Havoc got up and went to talk to the two females.

Fuery only had one question at that point, how the hell did he get into these types of things?