Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Lonely Mornings ❯ Cigarettes, Crossed Wires and a Confession ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Anne Packrat 
Things come to a head as Riza finds out the plan was a setup. Can Roy straighten things out? Or will he be left out in the rain?
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 04.22.2006 | Updated On: 04.22.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 503 | Status: Completed
Things come to a head as Riza finds out the plan was a setup. Can Roy straighten things out? Or will he be left out in the rain?
Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 04.22.2006 | Updated On: 04.22.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 503 | Status: Completed
Lonely Mornings
Chapter 4 - Cigarettes, Crossed Wires and a Confession
a Full Metal Alchemist fanfiction
by Anne Packrat
Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist and its attendant characters and setting were created and are owned by Hiromu Arakawa. FMA is distributed by Funimation, Square-Enix and Viz.
Warnings: Contains sexual language and situations, Profanity abounds.
----------------------------------------
On the other side of the hill, Riza allowed herself to collapse to the shaded grass beneath her. She was breathing heavily and her heart was pounding. "What the hell was that?" she gasped.
Riza hated feeling like this: confused, scared and unsure of what was happening. She needed to be collected and composed at all times. To be otherwise was inviting trouble. And right now, Roy was the living trouble.
She urged her heart to quiet and took short even breaths until her she was breathing normally. "What the hell is Roy doing?" she muttered to herself, "He said I was pretty... Could he possibly...?" She shook her head, "No, he wouldn't ever feel that way about me. There has to be another reason."
An ugly thought rose in her head, suggesting just what that other reason might be. "That arrogant bastard!" she growled, as her hand clenched into a fist.
Roy Mustang, the legendary womanizer, had played her just like he played every woman he dated. All he'd have to do was whisper sweet nothings, keep them off guard and ratchet up the old Mustang charm, and by the end of the night they pledge their undying love to him. She'd seen him use this tactic on hundreds of girls. She could recognize the warning signs anywhere.
But she hadn't seen them when they were directed at her.
"Damn, him!" she said, "He thinks I'm no better than one of those bimbos he dates!"
Then realization hit her. She truly wasn't any better than them. Her hands unclenched, and she sat back dejected, "I fell for it too, after all. I fell under his spell, just like the silly, stupid woman I am."
---------------------------
Roy didn't understand it. He thought everything was going so well, and then Hawkeye had just got up and run away.
"Did- Did I do something wrong?" he asked in disbelief.
"You sure did, chief." Roy turned around to find Havoc crouching behind him, a book in one hand and his trademark cigarette in the other.
"But what did I do wrong?" Roy said, exasperated, "Everything was going so smoothly! I got her off guard, got close to her, and I even complimented her. Then suddenly she bolts!"
Havoc gave his boss a disbelieving stare, "You really don't get it do you? What is the one thing Hawkeye is all about?"
Roy scratched his head. "Guns? Paperwork? Black Hayate? I don't know! Dammit, Havoc, give me some help here!"
Havoc rolled his eyes and took a drag on his cigarette, " The answer is control, chief. Hawkeye needs to feel that she has some control over every situation she's in."
Understanding finally lit in Roy's eyes, "And I took that away from her."
"Riiiiiight," Havoc said, nodding, "You caught her off-guard and then you became a threat, so her flight or fight reflex kicked in. Lucky for you she chose flight.."
"Crap..." Roy muttered, "I've been such an idiot."
Havoc put his cigarette in his mouth and grinned mirthlessly, "I can't argue with that."
-----------------------------------
Hawkeye slowed as she came back to their lookout. There were two figures where there should have only been one. Soon she was able to make out the colonel talking with Jean Havoc, the man they were supposed to be hiding from and observing in secret. Suddenly many things became clear in her mind, and she didn't like what she saw.
"Dammit!" she swore, "I knew they were working together. This was all a setup!" She ground her teeth in anger and frustration. This was a first time in a long time that she had felt this furious. And then something inside her snapped. Her nerves were shot and, she couldn't take any more.
Besides, she'd been taken for a fool. And Riza Hawkeye did not like being fooled.
She carefully made her way down the hill toward them but stopped just short of where they crouched. Reaching into her jacket, she freed one of her pistols. Carefully she aimed and sent a bullet into the ground between them.
At the sound of gunfire both men jumped and hurriedly looked up in her direction.
"Lieutenant, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Roy said, still in shock.
She strode quickly toward him and put the point of her gun under his chin. "I could ask you the same question, sir," she growled.
Roy swallowed causing his Adam's apple to lightly bump the gun barrel. "Lieutenant, I-"
"Save it, sir," she hissed, "I know all about it. I know you set this up with Havoc." She retreated and let the gun point down toward the ground.
Havoc took a step toward her. "Hawkeye, it's not-" His forward movement stopped when he found himself staring down the barrel of her gun.
"I don't want to hear from you either," Riza said glaring at him, "I know the colonel is trying to set me up with you." Both men's eyes widened at this statement, but she continued before they could interrupt. "That's why he thought up this whole 'girlfriend mission' idea. That's why he kept complimenting you all day. He was trying to build your image up."
Lowering the gun, she stepped away from him. "You're a nice guy, Jean," she said, her tone softer than it was before, "But I'm just not interested."
Her shoulder's slumped and a sad note entered her voice. "If that was the only thing then I could forgive you, colonel. After all you were just trying to help a friend."
Both men looked at each other in alarm. They had never seen the first lieutenant this upset before, and it scared them.
"I could have forgiven you colonel...." she continued her voice gaining in anger, "But then you had to go and toy with me, and my emotions."
Quickly she looked up at him, the anger and hurt in her eyes making Roy flinch in pain. "Did you enjoy it, sir?" she asked her voice low, "Did you enjoy playing with me like you do your nightly conquests? Are you going to brag about how you charmed 'ol Ice Queen Hawkeye to the boys tomorrow?"
Roy reached out his hand to touch her, but then thought better of it. "Riza, please... That's not what I intended... I didn't mean to hurt you."
A bitter laugh escaped her throat. "Well then you failed miserably, sir!" She sheathed her gun, then turned back toward Roy. "I thought you had more respect for me than that. I guess I was wrong."
He didn't know what to say. He just stood there and took her barbs. What choice did he have? Everything she was saying was true and that fact cut him to the bone.
She stared at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "You know what hurts the worst? After all the years we've worked together, after all the times I've gotten your back, you still don't trust me enough to be honest with me."
"I don't want your lines, I don't want elaborate plans, I don't want meaningless compliments or false illusions of intimacy," she told him quietly, "All I want is you, Roy Mustang. The real you."
Having said her piece, and nearing the end of her rope, Riza turned on her heel and walked away from the two men. She prayed she could get home before she broke down completely.
----------------------------------
Completely shaken by the past few minutes, Roy sank to his knees. He had hurt the woman he loved very badly. He couldn't even say anything to stop her from walking away. She had been right. He was completely useless.
"Oh god," he said in a hoarse whisper, "I really really fucked up."
Havoc took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. "You sure did, chief." He took a puff, then exhaled, watching his smoke disappear into the cloudy sky.
"But remember, chief," Havoc said, "Just because you've lost the battle, doesn't mean you've lost the war."
------------------------------------
Riza ran home through the grubby streets of Central, desperately trying to hold back tears.
Overhead the sky got darker, and thunder rumbled in the distance. Briefly she worried about leaving her superior officer in the rain, but that thought was quickly squashed when she remembered he was with Havoc. Besides, it wouldn't do for him to see her cry. Military officers shouldn't be seen crying by anyone. It would be a sign of weakness, and she couldn't show any weakness.
Water began to pour from the sky, but Riza's cheeks were already wet.
------------------------------------
A short time later, a sopping, bedraggled figure made its way up the steps to Hawkeye's door. It rang the bell and waited.
Riza answered the door, even though she knew it was him. A change of clothes and a hot shower had made her feel somewhat better, but she was still pissed off.
"What do you want, Mustang?"
The great Flame Alchemist sat on her doorstep soaked through and through. "Riza," he said cautiously, "We need to talk."
"So talk."
He shook water off his sleeve and looked into her apartment wistfully, "Can we maybe move this inside?"
"No."
"But, it's raining."
Riza raised an eyebrow. "I'm perfectly dry."
He groaned inwardly. He knew she was going to be difficult. He didn't realize just how difficult. "You know I have a thing about rain...." he began.
"Yeah I know. At the moment I could care less." She crossed her arms over her chest, "You said you came here to talk. So talk."
Sighing in defeat, he began. "Look, about today.... I screwed up."
She nodded. "Royally."
He looked down, unsure of his next words, "I- I'm really sorry, Riza. This shouldn't have happened, and I should have been honest with you from the start. Can you find it in your heart forgive me?" He looked up hopefully.
"No, I can't," his face dropped. Noticing this, she sighed and continued, "I can't forgive you, at least not right away. You embarrassed me and tried to get me in a relationship without considering my feelings. I can't get over it just like that."
Roy's gaze moved down to his hands. "I suppose that's fair enough. But could you at least hear me out?"
Reluctantly, she nodded. "Fine, I'll listen to you."
"First off, I wasn't trying to set you up with Havoc," he said.
"Oh course you were!" she said, her anger making her forget her promise, "It's obvious from the way you two were acting!"
Roy frowned. Hadn't she offered to hear him out? "No, it wasn't," he said more firmly this time, "That was not my intention at all."
"Oh, no?" she said, her anger level rising, "Then what was the purpose of today?
Don't tell me it was just to watch Havoc eating a hot dog! We could have done that at the office, and then we wouldn't be a day behind in paperwork!"
Roy's hands clenched in irritation. It was always the paperwork with her. "No," he said slowly, "That wasn't my intention either."
She scowled at his answer. "So was this just a huge practical joke then? A little 'Oh, let's pull one over on Lieutenant Hawkeye?'"
He looked at her in disbelief, "You know I would never-"
"Wouldn't you? I don't feel like I know you anymore, Mustang." she said. She was getting angrier by the second, and her voice was showing it, "What's really you and what's just an act?"
"Be reasonable, Hawkeye," he pleaded, "I just wanted to get you alone."
"Well, why was that? Was I to be another Mustang conquest? Another notch on your bedpost?! Stop lying and tell me the truth!"
God, he had never met a more infuriating woman. Finally he decided to stop beating around the bush and just go for it. "You want to know the real purpose of today, Riza?"
He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a desperate hug. He heard her breath catch as he rested his chin on top of her head. "The truth is I wanted you alone so I could say that I love you."
Silence fell between them, broken only by the patter of rain, their soft breathing and the fading echoes of his confession.
They stood there unmoving, with Roy's arms around her waist, and her face buried in the wet cloth of his chest. Riza could hear his heart beat. It was going a mile a minute.
Finally, she whispered, "I think you should come inside."
--------------------------------------
Author's Indulgence
Damn, this one was really hard to write. I'm praying I kept everyone in character, but it's hard to do that when writing something as emotional as this chapter. I apologize for the distinct lack of humor in this chapter, but I found no way to fit it in comfortably.
-Thanks to the creators and crew of the FMA anime and manga.
-Thanks to my husband, whom I love even if he's often grumpy and flatulent.
-Thanks to everyone who sends me feedback or leaves reviews.
-And thanks to you for reading.
Next chapter preview: Roy's feelings are finally out in the open. But how will Riza react to them? And where do they go from here?
Chapter 4 - Cigarettes, Crossed Wires and a Confession
a Full Metal Alchemist fanfiction
by Anne Packrat
Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist and its attendant characters and setting were created and are owned by Hiromu Arakawa. FMA is distributed by Funimation, Square-Enix and Viz.
Warnings: Contains sexual language and situations, Profanity abounds.
----------------------------------------
On the other side of the hill, Riza allowed herself to collapse to the shaded grass beneath her. She was breathing heavily and her heart was pounding. "What the hell was that?" she gasped.
Riza hated feeling like this: confused, scared and unsure of what was happening. She needed to be collected and composed at all times. To be otherwise was inviting trouble. And right now, Roy was the living trouble.
She urged her heart to quiet and took short even breaths until her she was breathing normally. "What the hell is Roy doing?" she muttered to herself, "He said I was pretty... Could he possibly...?" She shook her head, "No, he wouldn't ever feel that way about me. There has to be another reason."
An ugly thought rose in her head, suggesting just what that other reason might be. "That arrogant bastard!" she growled, as her hand clenched into a fist.
Roy Mustang, the legendary womanizer, had played her just like he played every woman he dated. All he'd have to do was whisper sweet nothings, keep them off guard and ratchet up the old Mustang charm, and by the end of the night they pledge their undying love to him. She'd seen him use this tactic on hundreds of girls. She could recognize the warning signs anywhere.
But she hadn't seen them when they were directed at her.
"Damn, him!" she said, "He thinks I'm no better than one of those bimbos he dates!"
Then realization hit her. She truly wasn't any better than them. Her hands unclenched, and she sat back dejected, "I fell for it too, after all. I fell under his spell, just like the silly, stupid woman I am."
---------------------------
Roy didn't understand it. He thought everything was going so well, and then Hawkeye had just got up and run away.
"Did- Did I do something wrong?" he asked in disbelief.
"You sure did, chief." Roy turned around to find Havoc crouching behind him, a book in one hand and his trademark cigarette in the other.
"But what did I do wrong?" Roy said, exasperated, "Everything was going so smoothly! I got her off guard, got close to her, and I even complimented her. Then suddenly she bolts!"
Havoc gave his boss a disbelieving stare, "You really don't get it do you? What is the one thing Hawkeye is all about?"
Roy scratched his head. "Guns? Paperwork? Black Hayate? I don't know! Dammit, Havoc, give me some help here!"
Havoc rolled his eyes and took a drag on his cigarette, " The answer is control, chief. Hawkeye needs to feel that she has some control over every situation she's in."
Understanding finally lit in Roy's eyes, "And I took that away from her."
"Riiiiiight," Havoc said, nodding, "You caught her off-guard and then you became a threat, so her flight or fight reflex kicked in. Lucky for you she chose flight.."
"Crap..." Roy muttered, "I've been such an idiot."
Havoc put his cigarette in his mouth and grinned mirthlessly, "I can't argue with that."
-----------------------------------
Hawkeye slowed as she came back to their lookout. There were two figures where there should have only been one. Soon she was able to make out the colonel talking with Jean Havoc, the man they were supposed to be hiding from and observing in secret. Suddenly many things became clear in her mind, and she didn't like what she saw.
"Dammit!" she swore, "I knew they were working together. This was all a setup!" She ground her teeth in anger and frustration. This was a first time in a long time that she had felt this furious. And then something inside her snapped. Her nerves were shot and, she couldn't take any more.
Besides, she'd been taken for a fool. And Riza Hawkeye did not like being fooled.
She carefully made her way down the hill toward them but stopped just short of where they crouched. Reaching into her jacket, she freed one of her pistols. Carefully she aimed and sent a bullet into the ground between them.
At the sound of gunfire both men jumped and hurriedly looked up in her direction.
"Lieutenant, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Roy said, still in shock.
She strode quickly toward him and put the point of her gun under his chin. "I could ask you the same question, sir," she growled.
Roy swallowed causing his Adam's apple to lightly bump the gun barrel. "Lieutenant, I-"
"Save it, sir," she hissed, "I know all about it. I know you set this up with Havoc." She retreated and let the gun point down toward the ground.
Havoc took a step toward her. "Hawkeye, it's not-" His forward movement stopped when he found himself staring down the barrel of her gun.
"I don't want to hear from you either," Riza said glaring at him, "I know the colonel is trying to set me up with you." Both men's eyes widened at this statement, but she continued before they could interrupt. "That's why he thought up this whole 'girlfriend mission' idea. That's why he kept complimenting you all day. He was trying to build your image up."
Lowering the gun, she stepped away from him. "You're a nice guy, Jean," she said, her tone softer than it was before, "But I'm just not interested."
Her shoulder's slumped and a sad note entered her voice. "If that was the only thing then I could forgive you, colonel. After all you were just trying to help a friend."
Both men looked at each other in alarm. They had never seen the first lieutenant this upset before, and it scared them.
"I could have forgiven you colonel...." she continued her voice gaining in anger, "But then you had to go and toy with me, and my emotions."
Quickly she looked up at him, the anger and hurt in her eyes making Roy flinch in pain. "Did you enjoy it, sir?" she asked her voice low, "Did you enjoy playing with me like you do your nightly conquests? Are you going to brag about how you charmed 'ol Ice Queen Hawkeye to the boys tomorrow?"
Roy reached out his hand to touch her, but then thought better of it. "Riza, please... That's not what I intended... I didn't mean to hurt you."
A bitter laugh escaped her throat. "Well then you failed miserably, sir!" She sheathed her gun, then turned back toward Roy. "I thought you had more respect for me than that. I guess I was wrong."
He didn't know what to say. He just stood there and took her barbs. What choice did he have? Everything she was saying was true and that fact cut him to the bone.
She stared at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "You know what hurts the worst? After all the years we've worked together, after all the times I've gotten your back, you still don't trust me enough to be honest with me."
"I don't want your lines, I don't want elaborate plans, I don't want meaningless compliments or false illusions of intimacy," she told him quietly, "All I want is you, Roy Mustang. The real you."
Having said her piece, and nearing the end of her rope, Riza turned on her heel and walked away from the two men. She prayed she could get home before she broke down completely.
----------------------------------
Completely shaken by the past few minutes, Roy sank to his knees. He had hurt the woman he loved very badly. He couldn't even say anything to stop her from walking away. She had been right. He was completely useless.
"Oh god," he said in a hoarse whisper, "I really really fucked up."
Havoc took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. "You sure did, chief." He took a puff, then exhaled, watching his smoke disappear into the cloudy sky.
"But remember, chief," Havoc said, "Just because you've lost the battle, doesn't mean you've lost the war."
------------------------------------
Riza ran home through the grubby streets of Central, desperately trying to hold back tears.
Overhead the sky got darker, and thunder rumbled in the distance. Briefly she worried about leaving her superior officer in the rain, but that thought was quickly squashed when she remembered he was with Havoc. Besides, it wouldn't do for him to see her cry. Military officers shouldn't be seen crying by anyone. It would be a sign of weakness, and she couldn't show any weakness.
Water began to pour from the sky, but Riza's cheeks were already wet.
------------------------------------
A short time later, a sopping, bedraggled figure made its way up the steps to Hawkeye's door. It rang the bell and waited.
Riza answered the door, even though she knew it was him. A change of clothes and a hot shower had made her feel somewhat better, but she was still pissed off.
"What do you want, Mustang?"
The great Flame Alchemist sat on her doorstep soaked through and through. "Riza," he said cautiously, "We need to talk."
"So talk."
He shook water off his sleeve and looked into her apartment wistfully, "Can we maybe move this inside?"
"No."
"But, it's raining."
Riza raised an eyebrow. "I'm perfectly dry."
He groaned inwardly. He knew she was going to be difficult. He didn't realize just how difficult. "You know I have a thing about rain...." he began.
"Yeah I know. At the moment I could care less." She crossed her arms over her chest, "You said you came here to talk. So talk."
Sighing in defeat, he began. "Look, about today.... I screwed up."
She nodded. "Royally."
He looked down, unsure of his next words, "I- I'm really sorry, Riza. This shouldn't have happened, and I should have been honest with you from the start. Can you find it in your heart forgive me?" He looked up hopefully.
"No, I can't," his face dropped. Noticing this, she sighed and continued, "I can't forgive you, at least not right away. You embarrassed me and tried to get me in a relationship without considering my feelings. I can't get over it just like that."
Roy's gaze moved down to his hands. "I suppose that's fair enough. But could you at least hear me out?"
Reluctantly, she nodded. "Fine, I'll listen to you."
"First off, I wasn't trying to set you up with Havoc," he said.
"Oh course you were!" she said, her anger making her forget her promise, "It's obvious from the way you two were acting!"
Roy frowned. Hadn't she offered to hear him out? "No, it wasn't," he said more firmly this time, "That was not my intention at all."
"Oh, no?" she said, her anger level rising, "Then what was the purpose of today?
Don't tell me it was just to watch Havoc eating a hot dog! We could have done that at the office, and then we wouldn't be a day behind in paperwork!"
Roy's hands clenched in irritation. It was always the paperwork with her. "No," he said slowly, "That wasn't my intention either."
She scowled at his answer. "So was this just a huge practical joke then? A little 'Oh, let's pull one over on Lieutenant Hawkeye?'"
He looked at her in disbelief, "You know I would never-"
"Wouldn't you? I don't feel like I know you anymore, Mustang." she said. She was getting angrier by the second, and her voice was showing it, "What's really you and what's just an act?"
"Be reasonable, Hawkeye," he pleaded, "I just wanted to get you alone."
"Well, why was that? Was I to be another Mustang conquest? Another notch on your bedpost?! Stop lying and tell me the truth!"
God, he had never met a more infuriating woman. Finally he decided to stop beating around the bush and just go for it. "You want to know the real purpose of today, Riza?"
He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a desperate hug. He heard her breath catch as he rested his chin on top of her head. "The truth is I wanted you alone so I could say that I love you."
Silence fell between them, broken only by the patter of rain, their soft breathing and the fading echoes of his confession.
They stood there unmoving, with Roy's arms around her waist, and her face buried in the wet cloth of his chest. Riza could hear his heart beat. It was going a mile a minute.
Finally, she whispered, "I think you should come inside."
--------------------------------------
Author's Indulgence
Damn, this one was really hard to write. I'm praying I kept everyone in character, but it's hard to do that when writing something as emotional as this chapter. I apologize for the distinct lack of humor in this chapter, but I found no way to fit it in comfortably.
-Thanks to the creators and crew of the FMA anime and manga.
-Thanks to my husband, whom I love even if he's often grumpy and flatulent.
-Thanks to everyone who sends me feedback or leaves reviews.
-And thanks to you for reading.
Next chapter preview: Roy's feelings are finally out in the open. But how will Riza react to them? And where do they go from here?