Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Lost ❯ Artificial Light ( Chapter 4 )

 

Lost

 

4

 

Artificial Light

 

Roy glanced over to where Alphonse was sitting on the edge of the side of the boat. With how much rocking the ship was doing, he had the strongest urge to grab the teen and pull him onto the deck.

 

He didn't, but he wanted to.

 

Alphonse sat with one leg on each side of the thick wood and was staring dully up at the cloudy sky. It had been cloudy when they'd left, but Roy had thought the weather would get better, and it had for a couple of days, but then this morning it had taken a bit of a turn. He'd talked to the captain, who was none too happy about the chance that they might get caught in a storm. Roy definitely shared his feelings.

 

Today, though, Roy felt slightly better than he had been, but the rocking still bothered him. The trip away from Amestris had been calm and he'd been able to at least keep from being too sick, but this voyage...

 

“Why?”

 

Roy blinked when he realized that Alphonse had spoken. “I'm sorry...?” he said, wanting the teen to repeat himself.

 

“Why... Why did you pick us?” Roy raised an eyebrow at that before smiling a little and turning his gaze out to the murky water. “What?” the teen asked.

 

“Just an amusing question... You seem so sure that it was I who picked the two of you...”

 

At a wave of nausea, Roy laid his cheek to the wood and let his gaze meet Alphonse's. The teen looked slightly confused and said, “What do you mean?”

 

Roy sighed and lifted his head up. What he really wanted to do was go back to his cabin and lay down, but he wanted to stay with Alphonse for a while. “Ed was the one who approached me first. He caught me at a very busy time and I really wasn't paying much attention to him.” Roy chuckled a little at the memory. “I was quickly trying to go through all my work and he was giving his report, then without any warning he said...

 

“And then the guy didn't even bother with helping, he just ran off.”

 

Roy nodded absently at the boy's oral report as he scanned the documents in front of him. “Sure, Fullmetal.”

 

“You're not even listening to me...

 

Roy nodded again as he signed and moved on to the next paper. “That's nice...” he said inattentively. There was silence for a moment, but he wasn't really aware of it, before the boy spoke again.

 

“I don't see why I have to stay here and report. You're not listening and you'll just read it all in my report later...”

 

“Uh huh,” Roy murmured vaguely. By the tone of the kid's voice, he seemed a bit upset, but nothing he'd said had connected in his brain.

 

There was a sound of exasperation, then, “You know... I was wondering if you wanted to have sex with me. You know, I am a teenager and wanking off all the time just doesn't cut it for me. Perhaps you can be my bitch, what do you think?”

 

“Sure, Fullmetal...” Roy scanned the document he was currently reading before glancing up; the words Ed had just said coming through. Clearing his throat, Roy said slowly, “What? Say that... again...?

 

“Oh... I thought you weren't listening...” the teen said, suddenly looking embarrassed.

 

Roy chuckled at the memory then looked at Alphonse. “At first, I thought he was joking, but it turned out that he was serious...” Roy shook his head. “I was really surprised, so I told him I'd think about it, instead of outright saying no; which I should have done, by the way. I guess he took that as a challenge, and well, that was that, I suppose.”

 

“Hm...” Al murmured and looked out toward the sea again. Roy let his eyes wander over Alphonse and he thought of the previous evening. He'd been ready to take the boy to his bed, and would have if he hadn't been so damn sick. Perhaps it was a good thing that he had been. He'd dwelled on it quite a bit during the long hours of the night as he held the sleeping teen in his arms.

 

Was that the type of relationship he wanted to have with Alphonse? It seemed as if he could have something with the young alchemist, perhaps what he had possessed before. Would it be too much to ask of Alphonse for him to take on the roll Edward had played in his life? Was Alphonse ready for that kind of a relationship? Was it too soon?

 

Roy sighed and let his gaze settle on the horizon. With the boy wearing Ed's clothing, and growing out his hair, he seemed to be taking a lot of Ed into himself. Did Alphonse only want to be with him like that because that is what Ed and he shared? Was it just another part of him wanting to gather whatever Ed had to get closer to his missing brother?

 

Suddenly the day became even darker than it already was and Roy looked up at the grey-black clouds covering the sun before groaning inwardly. They were definitely in for a storm and he didn't know if he'd be able to stomach it.

 

“We should go inside,” Roy said and glanced over to where Alphonse was seated precariously on the heavy wood of the ship.

 

The teen nodded distractedly and hopped lightly onto the deck. Letting go of the railing, Roy walked unsteadily toward his cabin. The boat was already rocking and swaying more than he was happy with and he had to fight the urge to drop to his knees and crawl to the nearest wall to throw up.

 

“Sir?” Alphonse said, and suddenly Roy felt the teen move his body under his arm. “Lean on me.”

 

Roy nodded and they made it to his cabin together. After getting inside, Alphonse shut the door as Roy staggered to his bed and lay down.

 

“For daytime, it's pretty dark in here...” Alphonse murmured and flipped the switch on the small lamp connected to the wall. The artificial light was dim, but it worked. Sighing, the teen walked over, sat on the edge of the bed, and after a moment asked, “What about me?”

 

“What about you?” Roy answered.

 

“You said that you were close to me too. How...”

 

“How did that happen?” Roy finished for him. Alphonse nodded, and Roy made a `hmmm' sound before answering. “Well, it seemed that Ed couldn't keep anything from you and whenever he came to my apartment, you were with him. It was rather...” He paused, trying to find the right word. “Disconcerting.”

 

The teen glanced at him and Roy could see a red flush spreading over his cheeks. “You mean... I was there when you... and brother...”

 

Roy nodded. “I had a studio apartment so there was no separate bedroom. You simply sat and watched. I think... he never said, but I think Ed got some sort of, um... I don't know... I think it did something for him... having you watch...”

 

“Freaky...” Al whispered, not really sure what to think about that.

 

Roy chuckled. “Actually, you and Ed were really close, and it wasn't like he was forcing you to be there. You wanted to be there.”

 

“Are you sure?” the teen asked in embarrassment.

 

“Quite. You see, Ed was quick to fall asleep after we were done, and I always enjoyed a cup of tea afterwards, so you and I talked quite a bit after. Sometimes you asked me questions about what Ed and I had done, sometimes you asked questions designed to encourage me to tell you about myself and my past. At first it was rather disturbing...” Roy stopped as a particularly nauseating feeling overpowered him and he groaned into his pillow.

 

“Are you alright?” Alphonse asked, his voice radiating worry as he put his hand on Roy's shoulder.

 

Roy nodded weakly, and turned his head out of the pillow. “I'm fine... as fine as can be expected.”

 

“Do you want me to get you anything?”

 

Roy shook his head and waved a hand. “No, I'm fine...” He was quiet for a moment, then continued where he'd left off. “You see, I wasn't used to telling people about myself and it felt strange. The more I talked to you, however, the more I was able to open up. It was odd, but you would ask me questions that made me really think about myself...”

 

“I'm sorry...” the teen apologized.

 

“Don't be. It was good for me. We both shared ourselves with each other. Sometimes we would stay up half of the night just talking while Ed slept.” He paused, then said, “I think that was something you really needed since you couldn't sleep.”

 

Alphonse lowered his head in thought and Roy wondered what the teen must make of all this. Roy turned, laid flat on his back, and draped his arm over his eyes. Even though the light from the small lamp was dim, it was beginning to give him a headache to accompany his nausea.

 

“Maybe I should go so you can get some rest...” he heard Alphonse say quietly.

 

“I don't want you to leave,” Roy murmured.

 

Silence filled the small cabin for a moment, before the teen whispered, “Okay,” then moments later felt Al move off the bed and then the artificial light was gone, making Roy sigh with relief. He moved his arm from his eyes and reached over to where he imagined Alphonse was standing. When he felt a warm hand in his, he pulled the teen in slowly and felt Alphonse crawl into bed beside him.

 

Wrapping his arms around the boy, Roy pressed his face close to Al's neck and pressed his lips against the teen's smooth skin. He felt as though he'd found a part of himself that had been missing, and the more time he spent with Al, the harder it was to let him out of his sight. His hand moved over the course fabric of the red coat, and he felt a pain in his heart. If only Ed were here too... He hadn't realized just how much he needed them both until now; hadn't realized how they completed him.

 

Al wasn't Ed, and Ed wasn't Al.

 

Roy held Alphonse tighter, and felt the boy return his desperate hug. Maybe he could have what he'd once had with Alphonse, even if it was slightly different. Maybe he could even have with Al what he'd once had with Ed, now that the teen had his body back.

 

Al seemed to want it... Or maybe Al only wanted it because that's what role Ed had played. It was hard to tell, given what seemed to be an obsession on Alphonse's part to become like his brother. Roy sighed and enjoyed the feel of Alphonse in his arms. That was a question for another time. Right now he was much too sick to really decide anything.

 

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