Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Lost ❯ Draw the Line in the Sand ( Chapter 6 )

 

Lost

 

6

 

Draw the Line in the Sand

 

Roy turned his head, closed his eyes, and let the breeze waft lightly against his face. It was a warm evening, but the air was turning a little cool given that the sun would soon set. Opening his eyes, Roy glanced around before slowly walking toward the beach.

 

After all that time on the ship it felt amazing to be back on land. The constant moving of the ship had wrecked havoc on his internal system and even now, when he wasn't moving, he could swear that the world was rocking. It made him feel a little fuzzy in the head and still a tad sick to his stomach.

 

But he was on land.

 

He was home.

 

For the first time in years he was in Amestris, and he really hadn't realized how much he missed his homeland until now.

 

Seagulls cawed above him and he glanced up to watch them fly toward the ocean—fly in the direction he was headed. They reminded him of Alphonse in a way... When the ship had docked that morning, Alphonse had thrust a note at him before running off without a word. The note had said something about Alphonse going ahead to get a room at the local inn for the two of them.

 

Roy sighed heavily and shook his head. Since the big storm, Alphonse had been quite elusive. When the teen had graced Roy with his company, he'd been quiet—content to simply be held in Roy's arms. And, of course, Roy hadn't pushed him to talk either. That night had been intense for them both, and Al had needed time to think.

 

Roy stopped and pulled a paper from his pocket.

 

When he'd gotten to the inn, a note had been left for him telling him which room was theirs, and to please meet Alphonse on the beach later that evening. Roy reread the instructions telling him which part of the beach he should go before turning a little and moving off the paved road and onto the sand.

 

He walked for a time, then stopped. The sun was low in the sky and he needed to raise his hand to shield his eyes from the light as he looked into the distance. Further down the beach was a section of large boulders and Roy could barely make out a lone figure sitting on one of the tallest ones.

 

With a nod to himself, Roy stuffed the paper back into his pocket, took a deep breath, and started purposefully toward the rocks. He wasn't exactly sure what they would talk about, but he was positive that it would be important. At least, he hoped it would be given how quiet Alphonse had been recently...

 

When he was close enough, Roy stopped and took a good look at the young man on the bolder before closing the distance between himself and the rock. It was Alphonse, but it wasn't who he'd seen that morning running from the ship and into the town—not who he'd traveled with on the ship.

 

No, the young man before him had a different air about him that was only accentuated by the fact that instead of the black pants and shirt that had created the image of a counterfeit Edward Elric, Alphonse was dressed in brown pants, and a white, long-sleeved, button-up shirt that rippled loosely when the breeze caught it.

 

There was also something else...

 

Alphonse's head turned toward him and a small smile lit his face before he turned and looked down at Roy.

 

“You cut your hair...” Roy said quietly, looking up at the teen.

 

To this, Alphonse nodded and said softly, “I had to.”

 

Roy frowned and folded his arms. “Why?” he questioned, though perhaps he already knew the answer.

 

The teen looked down at his hands for a moment and plucked at the pants before looking back at Roy and saying, “It just felt right.” Roy said nothing and waited for more. “I... well, I never had long hair before, and I suppose I simply grew it out because in all those pictures brother's hair was long. I...” Alphonse lifted one of his hands and raked his fingers through his hair before shaking his head. Roy watched the boy blink a couple of times before scrubbing a hand over his eyes.

 

“I really hated you for a while...” Alphonse whispered, his voice rough and full of unshed tears. “After that night, I wondered how you could say some of those things to me. I thought to myself that you couldn't even begin to understand my pain, but...” Alphonse sniffled. “I thought a lot about it. I realized...really realized that you were right.”

 

Roy watched silently as Alphonse stood and jumped down from the bolder and walked toward him. For a moment he looked down at the ground, but finally he glanced up, and when he did, Roy couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from the boy's liquid brown ones.

 

“You... you were right. About everything...” Alphonse whispered painfully.

 

“Alphonse...” Roy began, but the teen shook his head.

 

“No. Let me talk. You... You were right. It was too heavy...” the boy said, and a tear trickled from one of his eyes and moved slowly down his cheek. “The coat. It was too heavy of a burden to carry. I never realized just how much until it was gone.”

 

He paused for a moment, then his face took on an ashamed look. “I feel so light now. I feel free in a way that I never thought I could be.” Alphonse lowered his gaze and stared at Roy's chest. “I'm not saying that brother is a burden,” he said quickly, as if guilty that he should feel this way. “But holding onto him the way I was... you were right. It was like I was trying to be him in a way.”

 

Alphonse's voice broke slightly, but he continued on. “I needed to hold onto him as tightly as I could. Brother and I, we'd always been together, but then he was gone, and I was alone.” He sniffled softly. “I didn't want to be alone. Everything had been taken from me... My mother, my brother, my memories...

 

He looked back up into Roy's eyes and whispered, “I was lost. I was lost to myself just as much as brother is lost to me. I... I needed him. I needed him to be there... I felt so alone...” His face crumpled. Roy could tell Alphonse was fighting the tears and the strong emotions that were dammed up inside of him.

 

Alphonse blinked and more tears trickled from his eyes, yet his face took on a determined quality. “I will continue my journey, and I will find brother,” he said passionately, then in a quieter, but no less passionate voice, “and I will find myself too.”

 

Roy reached over and brushed at another tear that had escaped the boy's eyes. “I don't know if I'll ever regain the memories from the time after we tried to bring back our mother, but if I don't, then I can accept that. I'll still be me. I'll still be Alphonse Elric.”

 

The teen reached up and put a hand over Roy's. “I want to... I want to know you... You're right, I'm not who I was when you knew be before, and maybe things are different now, but I'm still me,” Alphonse said and pressed his other hand to his chest. “Will you give this me a chance? Would it be too much for us to get to know each other again?”

 

“No...” Roy whispered quietly, answering Alphonse's second question. He was pleased at what he was seeing; happy that finally Alphonse had come to accept who he was without his brother's memory making every decision for him.

 

“I want... I also want...” Alphonse started, and blushed deeply. “I'd like to know you the way brother did as well. Not just because I want to be like brother,” Al affirmed quickly, when he saw the look on Roy's face. “It's just... I thought about it a lot, and I think that if I'd had a body at that time then we would have had that closeness too...”

 

Roy nodded, then frowned slightly as a thought came to him. “What will you do if you find Ed and he still wants to be with me like that?”

 

Al shook his head. “I my not have known my brother during that time, but I did know him. I think... I think brother wouldn't begrudge my physical time with you. I think that maybe he would have liked some of that talking time with you that I had so much of, but perhaps he didn't even try to have that with you because he might not have thought it was fair that he had it all while I only had part.”

 

Roy nodded slowly. He'd never really thought of it that way, but it did make a strange sort of sense, and that line of thinking did seem very much like Ed.

 

“I think... well... you said that brother slept during the time we talked, but I think that perhaps he might not have. I think he might have listened to us sometimes, the same way I watched the two of you. He had you physically and I had you emotionally, but now that I have a body, the lines aren't as clear. I can have both, and well... he might feel like he can too.” Alphonse looked at him sheepishly. “At least, that's what I think...”

 

Roy breathed in deeply and let the air out slowly. Alphonse's theory made sense, but he couldn't help but feel a bit odd at this. What type of siblings share a lover like that? Before, he'd always thought of it as them completing a part of him, but he'd never thought about it in the way that they were sharing him between themselves. He'd always felt like he was the one in charge of this, but perhaps he never had been.

 

Would the Elric brothers really want to share one lover when they could each have their own? Of course, there was the question of if he would want them to have their own lover. Why not have them both? He cared for them both and didn't think he could let either of them go.

 

He didn't want to choose... but if he had to...

 

Roy searched Al's face before bending down and picking up a stick that was near his foot. Slowly, he drew a line between himself and Alphonse, then stepped back and tossed the stick aside.

 

“Do you really feel that you're ready for that? Don't misunderstand,” Roy said when he saw the boy open his mouth. “I do want you. I want you very much. But I'm a grown man. I'm ready. I want you to be ready too.” Roy pointed down at the line in the sand. “Once we cross that line, it can never be un-crossed. Even if we decide it's not for us and we stop, it will still have been crossed. Your theory about Ed is an interesting one, but you can't know for sure.”

 

“I...” Alphonse began, but Roy held up his hand.

 

“It's my turn now, Alphonse,” Roy said in a soft, firm voice. “You're still living your life depending on what your brother would think or do or say or feel. I don't think it's wrong to consider him, but if you're going to live your own life, then do it. Make your own choices and do it because you want it, not because of your brother.”

 

Roy shook his head. It was hard, doing this. What he wanted to say was, `Yes, you're right. Your brother won't mind so let's go start this physical loving started right now,' but he couldn't.

 

“If we cross the invisible line between us, then it will be because we want each other. Not because of your brother. You have to at least understand that there is a possibility that your brother won't approve.”

 

Alphonse's face fell and he glanced down at the line. “What your brother and I had, we had years ago. As much as I might want him to, it would be unfair of me to expect that he would save himself for me. It would also be unfair of him to expect that I would save myself for him. If he knew of your interest in me before, it would be unfair of him to expect you to stay away from me. Do you understand?” Roy asked gently.

 

“You love him?” Alphonse asked quietly, still looking down at the line.

 

“I told you before, I care for him deeply. I also care for you deeply,” Roy answered. “Whether that is love or not... I don't really know.”

 

“And if... and if he wanted you not to be with me and only be with him?” Al whispered, his voice wavering.

 

Roy swallowed. Not a choice he'd ever want to have to make, but... “If I was already with you, then I wouldn't leave you, Alphonse,” he said quietly. “But if he wanted to share, like before, then I would want that. I want you both. I need you both.”

 

“Maybe... maybe you only think you need us both since each of us fulfilled only one need for you,” Alphonse said. “What if I could fulfill both?”

 

Roy opened his mouth, then shut it again. So insightful... But then, this was Alphonse he was talking to... “I don't know...” he said quietly.

 

Alphonse lifted his head and stared at him with determined eyes. “I don't have a problem sharing you with brother if he wants to, but I want to try being all you need.” With that said, Alphonse stepped over the line and stood close to Roy. “I will find brother, and when I do... well, we'll cross that line when it comes, but for now, it's just us.” He reached out and pressed his hand against Roy's chest. “Just you—Roy Mustang... and me—Alphonse Elric...”

 

Roy nodded slowly in understanding. They didn't know what the future would bring, but they did know what they had now and all they could do was make the most of it. With his eyes locked onto Alphonse's face, Roy reached up and caught ahold of Alphonse's hand and moved his other to press against the teen's back as he leaned down and pressed his lips softly against Al's.

 

The teen reached up and wrapped his arms around Roy's neck and returned the kiss. Roy didn't think a kiss had ever felt so good and so right as it did at that moment. Everything seemed clear—the gentle breeze, the sound of the ocean surf, the feel of the young man in his arms...

 

They stood that way for a time, how long Roy didn't know, and as they kissed, the sun disappeared behind the horizon marking the end of the day for the world. Yet, for them, it was the beginning of a new day, and the continuation of something started long ago...

 

- The End -

 

I hope that you've enjoyed this story. Eventually (in some far away time), I may write an epilogue to this story, but don't look for it since I have no idea when that would be.

 

I've uploaded a song (`Eurydice' by Sleepthief) to MegaUpload that I consider to be the soundtrack to this story. It fit so perfectly that I nearly died the first time I heard it.

 

Here is the link: http : / / w w w . megaupload . com / ?d = G9G7C2OI

 

Just take the spaces out and you should be able to get to it just fine. Again, I hope you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading.