Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Misspoken ❯ Parapraxia ( Chapter 1 )

Written for Fae Elric's challenge

to write something that contains

at least one Freudian slip.

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Misspoken

 

I

 

Parapraxia

 

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Roy looked up in surprise when the door to his office was violently kicked in and a short blond teenager stalked into the room. The boy stopped, pointed a finger and growled, “You!”

 

Roy sighed. He was not in the mood for Mr. Fullmetal Attitude today. “That is generally the pronoun one would use when speaking of a second person, although not exactly polite when actually addressing someone, and definitely not acceptable when speaking to a superior officer.”

 

“Shut up!” the teenager growled as he cut the air across his body with his hand. “I want to know why you halved my research budget!”

 

Oh that…

 

Roy sat back in his chair, folded his arms and said blandly, “This department is only granted so much money each year. Before you came we'd have a surplus that we'd be scrambling to spend before the next fiscal year rolled around so that the amount we were allotted didn't go down, but now… “

 

Roy sat forward and leaned on his desk. “Ed. Do you have any idea just how much money you spend researching and traveling while you try to find the stone? Now we have to pinch pennies for the last couple of months just to get by.”

 

“I'm not the only one who spends, you bastard!” Ed shouted, and Roy felt himself losing his patience. He'd just gotten out of a four hour budgeting meeting with General Hakuro where the pompous man had ragged on him for the amount of freedom he'd been allowing the Fullmetal Alchemist, both literally and financially.

 

“Ed, if you're going to yell then this meeting is over,” Roy responded irritably.

 

“Like hell! Your lazy ass doesn't need that money like I…” the teen continued, but stopped when the colonel rode over him loudly.

 

“Listen here, you brat,” Roy began angrily. Just because he put some things off did not mean he was lazy… “If you want to trade me positions, go right ahead! Personally, I'd love to be able to just jaunt around the countryside sightseeing…”

 

That was where Ed cut in furiously. “Sightseeing? I'll tell you where you can go sightseeing, you bastard…!” The teen stalked to the door and put his hand on the handle. “Why don't you just go to Hell!”

 

In that moment, Roy lost his composure and yelled angrily, “Screw you, Ed!”

 

The boy yanked open the door and hollered, “I wish!” before stalking out of the room and slamming the door.

 

For a moment there was silence in the office as Roy stared at the door in shock, but a moment later it opened and Lieutenant Havoc stuck his head in and said, “Uh… did I just hear what I think I heard?”

 

Roy blinked, then slowly sat down in his chair. “Let's… just forget what he said… We just won't even go there…”

 

The lieutenant began chuckling and nodded before pulling his head out and shutting the door.

 

Roy ran a hand through his hair, sighed, and looked back at the documents he had been reading before he had been so rudely interrupted.

 

After a few minutes of staring at the papers he rubbed his eyes in frustration, unable to concentrate.

 

As hard has he tried to ignore them, Ed's words continued to come back to him. It wasn't until he admitted to himself that he was curious, and decided to find out exactly what Ed meant, that he was able get anything done.

 

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