Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Necessary Denial ❯ Necessary Denial ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Necessary Denial
Roy gets up from his chair and walks to the front of his desk. He looks shrewdly at Ed, every since they have been able to bring Al forth from his metal prison, Ed had become distant to brother.
The fire alchemist has always had a sneaky suspicion, that Ed’s devotion is much more powerful, then just brotherly love. He cannot prove it without pushing Ed’s buttons to an extreme, but he feels he has no choice.
“Al came by here the other day,” he says. “Aren’t you happy he’s whole once more? From what he tells me, you seem to loathe him now.”
Ed’s head snaps up, a look of confused anger infuses his face.
“How can he say that? After all I went through, all I’m willing to do again for him!”
Roy takes note of two things. First, Ed looks like he is ready to sob! Second, his eyes are wide with emotion and one emotion in particular, makes him say bingo.
“He is quite irresistible now isn’t he?” He goads.
“What are you getting at? What the fuck are you trying to say now?!”
“How far were you willing to go for AL to be made whole?” He watches Ed intently, looking for other signs to prove his theory.
He is not disappointed, not one bit.
“If it meant for me to perish, then I was and still am willing to do so.” He stands resolutely in front of Roy. “It was my fault after all, I still can’t forgive myself.”
“Hmmm, just as I thought,” stroking his chin, Roy looks Ed in the eye. “Your hopelessly in love with him, your eyes are full of it.”
Ed goes completely slack-jawed, his eyes round with abject fear. Roy takes this as a ‘cat out of the bag’ face.
“I’ve always thought of him as a brother, that’s it!” He turns his back on Roy. “Nothing else to it, you don’t know what you’re talking about Jackass!”
Roy does expect this denial, but Ed already has given him the perfect fodder the flame.
“Your love for him is barely that!” Using fake outrage, he storms behind the metal alchemist. “You could have cost him his life, playing mad scientist with his body like that!”
Ed turns back to Roy in a rage; his face contorts into an anger, which makes Roy think he went too far.
“Fuck you! My love for him is none of your damn business!” He looks at Roy with that look again in his eyes. “My life is his, no one else’s, just his.”
Roy decides to put his theory into cement, making it a fact.
“I thought you said you only loved him as a brother?”
Ed slumps down into a chair, he now sees he fell easily into Roy’s little trap. He places his head into his hands, trying to hold back tears of pain.
“Damn you to hell,” he says quietly. “Can’t you understand, if I tell him how I really feel, I will lose everything?”
He stands up and shakily makes his way to the window. Staring at Al, who is collecting flowers, he continues to speak.
“He is everything, my heart, my dreams, all that I love. He is connected to everything that is me.”
Before Roy can speak, Ed gives him a look, letting him know to stay silent.
“I breathe through him, I feel him with every movement of my muscles, every beat of my heart.” He walks up to Roy now naked, all his feelings out on display.
“Damn you for throwing it in my face, that my dream love will never come true!”
He grabs Roy by the collar shaking him viciously, even Roy’s astounded by the strength of it.
“How sick you are to tease someone’s soul!”
His head crashes into Roy’s chest, he cannot help the mourning cries that escape.
“I hope that one day you know what it feels like to love someone in every way possible! Knowing you can never have them.”
Roy feels and looks contrite, it was not his intention to cause Ed so much turmoil. He begins to rub Ed’s hair soothingly.
“I can touch him, kiss him on his forehead, and hug him tightly to my body. But if you tell him Roy, nothing will come of it, nothing but my lost and bitterness.”
Ed looks up into Roy’s face, a mask of agony, which makes Roy’s crumble for his young friend.
“My heart will shatter more, if I see hatred in his eyes for me, because you didn’t keep my impossible desires from him.”
Roy’s forehead touches the shorter man’s. He really wishes he could tell him he is wrong, but he cannot.
“Alright Ed, your secret’s safe with me.”
Roy gets up from his chair and walks to the front of his desk. He looks shrewdly at Ed, every since they have been able to bring Al forth from his metal prison, Ed had become distant to brother.
The fire alchemist has always had a sneaky suspicion, that Ed’s devotion is much more powerful, then just brotherly love. He cannot prove it without pushing Ed’s buttons to an extreme, but he feels he has no choice.
“Al came by here the other day,” he says. “Aren’t you happy he’s whole once more? From what he tells me, you seem to loathe him now.”
Ed’s head snaps up, a look of confused anger infuses his face.
“How can he say that? After all I went through, all I’m willing to do again for him!”
Roy takes note of two things. First, Ed looks like he is ready to sob! Second, his eyes are wide with emotion and one emotion in particular, makes him say bingo.
“He is quite irresistible now isn’t he?” He goads.
“What are you getting at? What the fuck are you trying to say now?!”
“How far were you willing to go for AL to be made whole?” He watches Ed intently, looking for other signs to prove his theory.
He is not disappointed, not one bit.
“If it meant for me to perish, then I was and still am willing to do so.” He stands resolutely in front of Roy. “It was my fault after all, I still can’t forgive myself.”
“Hmmm, just as I thought,” stroking his chin, Roy looks Ed in the eye. “Your hopelessly in love with him, your eyes are full of it.”
Ed goes completely slack-jawed, his eyes round with abject fear. Roy takes this as a ‘cat out of the bag’ face.
“I’ve always thought of him as a brother, that’s it!” He turns his back on Roy. “Nothing else to it, you don’t know what you’re talking about Jackass!”
Roy does expect this denial, but Ed already has given him the perfect fodder the flame.
“Your love for him is barely that!” Using fake outrage, he storms behind the metal alchemist. “You could have cost him his life, playing mad scientist with his body like that!”
Ed turns back to Roy in a rage; his face contorts into an anger, which makes Roy think he went too far.
“Fuck you! My love for him is none of your damn business!” He looks at Roy with that look again in his eyes. “My life is his, no one else’s, just his.”
Roy decides to put his theory into cement, making it a fact.
“I thought you said you only loved him as a brother?”
Ed slumps down into a chair, he now sees he fell easily into Roy’s little trap. He places his head into his hands, trying to hold back tears of pain.
“Damn you to hell,” he says quietly. “Can’t you understand, if I tell him how I really feel, I will lose everything?”
He stands up and shakily makes his way to the window. Staring at Al, who is collecting flowers, he continues to speak.
“He is everything, my heart, my dreams, all that I love. He is connected to everything that is me.”
Before Roy can speak, Ed gives him a look, letting him know to stay silent.
“I breathe through him, I feel him with every movement of my muscles, every beat of my heart.” He walks up to Roy now naked, all his feelings out on display.
“Damn you for throwing it in my face, that my dream love will never come true!”
He grabs Roy by the collar shaking him viciously, even Roy’s astounded by the strength of it.
“How sick you are to tease someone’s soul!”
His head crashes into Roy’s chest, he cannot help the mourning cries that escape.
“I hope that one day you know what it feels like to love someone in every way possible! Knowing you can never have them.”
Roy feels and looks contrite, it was not his intention to cause Ed so much turmoil. He begins to rub Ed’s hair soothingly.
“I can touch him, kiss him on his forehead, and hug him tightly to my body. But if you tell him Roy, nothing will come of it, nothing but my lost and bitterness.”
Ed looks up into Roy’s face, a mask of agony, which makes Roy’s crumble for his young friend.
“My heart will shatter more, if I see hatred in his eyes for me, because you didn’t keep my impossible desires from him.”
Roy’s forehead touches the shorter man’s. He really wishes he could tell him he is wrong, but he cannot.
“Alright Ed, your secret’s safe with me.”