Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Playing With Fire ❯ Prologue

After getting out from Juvenile hall, being (forcefully) reunited with his father, and made to move to a town in the middle of nowhere, you'd think Ed's life would be hellish enough. That is until he met Envy. Sloth. and Insanity. Warnings: pyromania, slash, Roy teaching Health, AU etcetera …

 

Okay, now because I came up with the idea for this before I'd watched/read much FMA the characters from the anime/manga are different than most AUs out there. I also have a love of complicated things. Hence the fact that I have a sketch of Trisha's wedding dress in my sketch book. So to avoid extreme confusion here's a family tree:

 

 

Grandfather = Dante

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Pride(alias Darcy) Greed ≈ Cindy(we think) Eva = Frank Lust (alias L.) ≠ Jeffers

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Gluttony(Marquis) Envy(Niobe Viktor) Sloth (Sarka) Insanity (Elea)

 

 

 

Grandfather and Dante married and had four children (listed in birth order): Pride, Lust, Greed, and Eva. Dante is historian, book collector, and English major. During her first three pregnancies she was reading Dante's Inferno and chose her children's name from the book/poem. However, some of her children have found their names cumbersome. Namely, Pride, who was a politician before he got into software. He changed his name to Darcy. Greed, who flunked out of three high schools, but managed a business degree at a community college, did not change his name. Considering his business (based in Las Vegas) a name change was not needed. Lust, who works at a law firm, simply goes by her initial: L. Christensen. Most people assume her name is something boring, like Lauren.

 

The only reason Eva has a normal name is because Dante lost Dante's Inferno and taking it as a sign (not being able to see your toes is hardly conductive to searching under beds and furniture anyway) and chose another name. Eva was raised by Grandfather since she was five, not because Dante died or anything, but because she was called over to Italy to examine some really old books. Thus, Eva is normal. Or as normal as anyone from that family can be.

 

Pride alias Darcy has not married and shows no signs of marrying anytime soon. Whether he has bastard children running around is debatable. Darcy actually mentions pride in some language. Well-read people will find Mr. Darcy's name a bit more significant in relation the title (Pride & Prejudice).

 

Greed had one child with one of his “employees” whose name may or may not have been Cindy. The child's name was Marquis on Cindy's (or Mindy's, not even Greed knows) request, but was changed to Gluttony because Dante found her book again. Marquis is now Gluttony's middle name.

 

Lust married Jeffers Christensen. They had two children, Sloth, (originally named Sarka, with the middle name of Dante) and Insanity (originally named Elea). Three years after Sloth's birth Lust divorced Jeffers for reason unknown. However it is common knowledge that Jeffers suffered great embarrassment when his two daughters were baptized as Sloth and Insanity. Jeffers was Catholic and Dante found him amusing when upset. Lust represented herself in the divorce court and therefore has a steady flow of child support. She also got the house, both cars, and the cat.

 

Eva was a frail sickly child (who was not blonde). Dante took great care never to scare her in any way. She was surprisingly cordial and gentle around Eva. This served to terrify Eva's husband Frank (along with just about everyone else), who believed (correctly) that Dante was EVIL! Eva and Frank had one child together. Frank took advantage of Dante's absence and named the child Niobe Viktor. Dante was furious when she got back she's planned on naming the child Envy. Eva managed to convince her that all was not lost, after all Niobe's initials were N. V.

 

Eva died when N.V. was five. Frank, suffered something of a midlife crisis. He was terribly upset that Eva died, but overjoyed that he would never have anything to do with Dante again. That was before Dante announced she'd be moving in with him. Frank immediately went to Lust's house and asked if she'd watch N.V. for him. Lust agreed and Frank packed everything and left for Morocco that day. Later he mailed Lust the adoption papers for N.V.

 

N.V., after learning Niobe meant `fern', started signing his name Envy.

 

A Note On Ed's Pyro-ness:

 

If any of you readers out there are pyromaniacs (the real type, not the nutjobs that were in my chemistry lab group) this fic was not meant to offend you and I have tried to keep it as fact based as possible. There's precious little information to be found about your disorder. So if you are, in fact, a real live pyro, please contact me so I can interview you.

 

If any of you readers out there take Luvox please do not become offended about my use of it in the fic. Hohenheim is not a particularly politically correct person and my opinions are probably closest to Sloth's. I, myself, have ADD/ADHD and have been known to get pissed when anyone asks if I've taken my medication (like I can't have mood swings or do random things on my own.). I find people like Tom Cruise highly offensive and think that he should keep his blasted opinions to himself.

 

If you take Luvox I would love to hear about your experience with it.