Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Set in Stone ❯ Hates and Loves ( Chapter 16 )

`Til the Sun Shines

 

Chapter Sixteen

Hates and Loves

 

`Courage is doing what you're afraid to do;

There can be no courage unless you are scared.'

 

The footfalls behind them were getting softer and softer, and just when Ed thought that they'd lost them a car swerved out in front of the street. He made a sharp turn into the alleyway left of him and after a short growl of annoyance Envy followed him, hearing the car door slam. He caught up to Ed and shoved him into one the shadows. “Get behind here, and stay there.” He whispered harshly as the footsteps grew louder and he heard the two officers meet each other. Then he said, loud enough for the two to hear. “You go that way; we can meet back at the bridge.” And Ed's face dawned in comprehension as Envy's form changed before him, to his own splitting image. “Don't move.” He said dangerously.

 

Ed hid behind the bin and heard Havoc and Breda's footsteps fade as they `spotted Ed'. He scoffed quietly and left the shelter of the metal tin. “I'll be damned if I listen to him.” He said quietly to himself and headed back out onto the street, being careful to remain inconspicuous. His day hadn't exactly gone to plan, he'd wanted to get out of those bastards company, just spend a day strolling around the city. He'd never wanted to run into anyone. “I shouldn't've had lunch with Russell,” he berated himself quietly, heading down another side street, not noticing the familiar buildings.

 

The sun was beginning to set, but Ed didn't notice he trudged on, lost in his own thoughts. He had guessed that his teacher was going to tell Alphonse what he'd told her, but he hadn't planned on running into Al so soon after. Then again he didn't plan much, and that which he did, didn't always go to plan. He hadn't wanted to say those things, hadn't wanted to see the hurt in his brothers eyes, the thing he was supposed to be protecting him from, but he couldn't think of any other way to keep him separate from his problems. He shook his head. Things were getting too complicated.

 

He was just glad Winry wasn't in any of this.

 

“Edward?” he turned his head up sharply while at the same time scolding himself for not keeping an eye out, but his feeling of panic was washed away with a rush of relief as he recognised the figure who had called his name. She had been sweeping the front of the house, he could tell by the broom in her hand.

 

“Mrs. Hughes,” He said in surprise, he hadn't seen this woman in so long; it was a bit of a surprise. “What are you doing?” He asked, then realised it was a stupid question when she smiled gently at him.

 

“I live here, in case you'd forgotten,” She said, amused. “The pathway was getting a little dusty.” Ed smiled and nodded stopping and turning to face her.

 

“It was just the first thing that came to my mind,” he shrugged.

 

“What happened to your face?” She asked, concern showing through in her eyes. Ed's forehead burrowed as he lifted a hand to his cheek. “No, your jaw,” She said, and he moved his hand down, drawing back quickly as a sharp pain was sent through his head. His lips quirked upwards in a grim smile.

 

“I got caught in a fight,” He explained, it wasn't completely a lie. She beckoned him inside.

 

“I'll put some ice on it for you.” She said kindly, and after a moments debate with himself he sighed and headed up the stairs towards the door. He could hide out there for a while until he thought Envy had gotten rid of Havoc and Breda. He just hoped the homunculus didn't hurt them. “Here,” She offered him a cold-pack when he was seated in the lounge and he took it with a quiet thank-you as she sat down opposite him. “I haven't seen you in quite a while Edward, you sure have grown.”

 

He smiled at her, “I meant to come and visit, but with everything happening…” he trailed off.

 

“Riza mentioned there was some trouble concerning you.” She said. “She didn't say too much though, Roy was getting annoyed.”

 

“Mustang's always annoyed.” Ed grumbled, rolling his eyes. “I don't know how Hawkeye puts up with him. Work and home. It kills me when I'm stuck in the same room with him for five minutes.”

 

Gracia laughed quietly. “She doesn't have to put up with him at work anymore though; she's expecting that baby soon.”

 

“Finally took time off for maternity leave, huh?” Ed asked, “How far along is she? I've been back almost 5 months now I think…wow that's nearly half a year.”

 

“She's 8 months now. Not long to go, Roy's getting worried, he won't tell me that, but I know him well.” She looked towards the mantle and Ed followed her eyes until his gaze fell on a picture of Mustang and Hughes when they were younger. Hughes was smiling, but Mustang looked so serious with the medal hanging off his uniform.

 

“I suppose you've known Mustang almost as long as you knew Hughes.” He said quietly, and she smiled softly.

 

“Longer. Roy was the one that introduced us, I actually dated him first.” Ed groaned.

 

“Not you too.” He said and she laughed again. Then he realised how silent the house was. “Where's Elicia?” He asked suddenly and Gracia laughed again.

 

“She's 19 now Edward, she moved in with a few friends of hers a couple of months ago.” She explained.

 

“It seems like just yesterday when I'd have photos of her shoved in my face constantly. That was over 15 years ago now…” There was a moment of silence following the statement, where only the ticking of the clock could be heard.

 

“The house gets empty…” Gracia said quietly. “But Roy and Riza visit quite often.” Ed couldn't meet her eyes and felt a rush of guilt sweep through him, and he resisted the urge to shudder. If he hadn't been such a hot-head of a child, always doing dangerous things…then maybe Hughes'd be sitting across from him now, with Gracia in his arms, complaining about how his little girl was growing up too fast.

 

But it was just this lonely widow sitting across from him now. He stood up suddenly, he'd stayed long enough and the guilt was starting to eat away at him. “I just remembered I was supposed to meet someone at 5.” Ed lied, and indeed the clock read 5:15. She glanced towards it and smiled warmly at him, taking the ice-pack as he offered it back to her. (1)

 

“Come and visit now and then, won't you? We're always having parties with the other boys.” She said, seeing him off at the door. He waved and promised he would then he began to head down the stairs when her voice drifted down to him. “Go and visit Maes won't you?” She said, and he turned to face her, forcing a smile on his face.

 

“Sure thing Mrs. Hughes.” He said, and as he walked down the street again, hearing the door closed, he turned in the direction of the cemetery. He might just do that.

 

 

The streets of Grand Central had succumbed to darkness and one angry figure stormed around the place. “Stupid bloody midget. Why can't he just stay put?” Envy asked angrily, having lost as he called `dumb and dumber' and backtracking his way to the alley he'd left Ed in only to discover he wasn't there. Not like he hadn't expected it, but he just wanted to go back to the hideout, beat the crap out of the annoying little shrimp, and stay away from this stupid city, forever.

 

He started yelling loudly at a sleek black car that drove past him and splashed him with mud, however the car kept driving and the person behind the wheel smirked to himself. “Looked like he was having a bad day.” He muttered aloud and turned the car slowly into the carpark of the quiet place. The door closing echoed around the dark empty space. He knew people didn't like coming after dark, so he had more time alone after the sun had set.

 

However as he walked up the familiar pathway, he spotted someone else at the place he normally stood. He didn't recognise the shadowed person until he was standing next to him at the grave. He placed the flowers he'd brought at the base of the gravestone and next to it, a bottle of beer, just for old time's sake. The two of them stood next to each other silently, not even the birds were chirping, they'd gone home for the day. “Can't say I expected to see you here,” Mustang said after a while.

 

“What? Have you come to arrest me?” Ed asked, though there was no real anger behind the accusation and he stayed standing the way he was. Mustang chuckled quietly, a smirk on his face.

 

“I heard about that…but no. I'm just visiting an old friend.” He finished quietly. And they stood in silence for a moment longer.

 

“…You two were pretty close.” Ed stated, though at the same time it was almost a question.

 

“He's the best friend I've ever had. I owe him…everything I have.” Mustang said their voices low and quiet.

 

“How did you work out that one?” Ed asked.

 

“I haven't always been the sexy, smooth, confident leader-”

 

“Don't be so hard on yourself.” Ed muttered, rolling his eyes.

 

“-that I am. Once, a long time ago, I was just like you.” Mustang finished, ignoring Ed's comment.

 

“What's that supposed to mean?” Ed asked, turning from Maes Hughes' grave and looking at the dark-haired man beside him. However Mustang didn't turn to face him and when he began speaking Ed turned back to the well kept grave.

 

“I was scared, confused, alone…hell suicidal. I was overwhelmed with a crushing sense of guilt. I tried to drink it away, sleep it off, anything I could…until in the end I was so desperate I was going to try and bring back the people whose lives I took away.”

 

“You tried Human transmutation?” Ed asked in disbelief.

 

Mustang smirked. “…no. Maes got to me before I had the chance. Knocked some sense into me.” Silence fell over the pair again, and Ed suddenly felt that sickening twist of guilt within his stomach. He'd not only taken away a husband from a loving wife, but a good friend from someone who'd needed him. “But it's taught me…if anything, that the line between good and evil is shadowy and vague. Who can say where one ends and the other begins?” Mustang continued. “Who are we to say who lives and who dies? Who are we to decide what's right and wrong?”

 

“Then how are we supposed to know what to do?” Ed asked, and hoped that the hopelessness he felt wasn't showing through in his voice.

 

“That's all you, kid. You've got to do what seems best at the time. You'll drive yourself insane thinking about it.” Ed smiled a little at Mustang's answer.

 

“You've told me that once before.” He admitted. (2)

 

“Maybe you should listen better.” Mustang answered, and then the amusement disappeared from his voice. “I know what you're trying to do. You think that by distancing yourself from those that care about you, those that you care about, that you're doing them a favour. Well, you're not.” He said firmly. “All we want to do is help.”

 

“It's not your problem.” Ed answered shortly.

 

Mustang sighed. “Didn't you take any of what I just said in, Fullmetal?” He asked, exasperated.

 

“You can't call me that,” Ed said through gritted teeth. “I quit your stupid military.”

 

“That doesn't mean that suddenly you're not my responsibility.”

 

“I've never been your-” Ed interrupted furiously but Mustang cut over him.

 

“You're hurting your brother in the worst possible way. You don't think I didn't get him to tell me what you said to him after he followed Havoc and Breda? You think it's best if he just forgot?” Ed looked away from his gaze towards the grass growing at the base of the gravestone. “That would hurt more than anything anybody else could do to him. You're his older brother, which means he looks up to; he looks to you for guidance. He thinks that this is something he's caused, that he made you run away. You need to wake up and see what you're doing to the people that care about you-”

 

“You think I don't know that?!” Ed asked angrily, and was suddenly glad that no one else was around to hear their argument, his loud voice echoing throughout the empty cemetery. “Do you honestly think I don't know it's stupid?! Of course I do, but…” his voice got quieter and he trailed off, still breathing angrily, his eyes wouldn't meet Mustangs unpatched one.

 

“Then why do you do it? Why do you put yourself through that when you know it can never end well?” Mustang asked searching the man's face until he finally saw resignation spread across his features. His shoulders slumped and he looked so dejected.

 

“Because there's no where else I can turn.” He admitted quietly.

 

“What am I? Chopped liver? There are so many people who are willing - who have the power - to fight.” Mustang said bemusement clear in his voice.

 

“You don't understand…you don't know what's happened.” Ed said, still looking at anything but Mustang.

 

“Al does…and he doesn't seem to care.” Mustang prodded. “Your teacher's still willing to fight, that doctor…your father.” Ed's head snapped up, but he didn't ask. “I'm not stupid, I know they all know something I don't, yet they don't seem to care, they still want to help.”

 

“I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me.” Ed said. “I've enough people's blood on my hands.” He looked down at his palms as he said it, the white of his gloves shone in the moonlight, and indeed there was a red splotch of blood from his earlier fight. Mustang didn't miss the way his eyes slid to the grave they stood before as he said it, and he realised he was blaming himself for what had happened to Hughes.

 

“It wasn't your fault.” Mustang said quietly, looking at the small name engraved on the stone.

 

“If I hadn't got him involved…I saw Gracia today…and she's so lonely.” He choked a little as he said it, and then grew angry with himself for showing what he considered such a weakness in front of the grown man who had often been his opponent.

 

“She's not lonely.” Mustang said. “She's always been like that…calm and gentle. That's why Maes liked her so much…he knew what he was getting into, I know better than anyone that blaming yourself for someone else's death will never get you anywhere. I killed Winry's parents, and for that I can blame myself, I won't hide behind my orders or their actions. It was my fault and my fault alone, I pulled the trigger and I ended their lives. But unless you did the same to Hughes then you can't say you're responsible for his death…unless you caused a person's death directly…you can't hold yourself responsible. It's just survivor's guilt.”

 

“I may not have pulled the trigger…” Ed answered, “But I loaded the gun. Hughes isn't the only one who's dead because of a stupid decision I've made. Because I've been too ignorant to realise it wasn't going to end well.”

 

Mustang sighed again. “You can't carry the world on your shoulders Edward; it's too much for any person to bear. You're given friends and family for a reason. Put aside your fears put aside your pride and use that loud mouth of yours to ask for some help. Because no matter how strong you are, no matter how smart…you can't do this alone. Whatever this is.”

 

Ed mulled over what Mustang had said and inwardly sighed. He was telling people too many things these days. “I have a plan.” He said, and Mustang grinned.

 

“Let's hear it.”

 

It occurred to Ed later that night, when he was trying to ignore Envy's outburst at not staying put, that it was the first time since he had been given his military name that Mustang had called him Edward. It made the journey through the abandoned Chapel and down the elevator all the more interesting. He admitted it to himself, somewhere deep inside, that he did indeed respect the man, and hoped that the feeling was mutual.

 

Because there was nothing he hated more than being seen as inferior.

 

 

He walked into the office the next day with a purpose, and his loyal followers recognised it. “Something happen?” Breda asked casually as Mustang went to his desk and pulled over the phone, his ever-devious smirk plastered on his face.

 

“You've been complaining about the lack of things to do, boys.” He announced, and they sat up in interest. “We're planning an attack, of sorts.” He added.

 

“An attack?” Falman questioned. “Where?” Mustang merely smirked.

 

“Ever heard of the Desert kingdom of Lebis?” He asked.

 

Breda scoffed loudly. “Oh, come off it. That place is just a legend.” He said.

 

Mustang looked at him in disbelief as the others nodded in agreement. “You'll all believe in stupid ghost stories and killer warehouses-”

 

“Ah, I'm never going to live that down!” Fuery exclaimed pulling at his hair.

 

“But when I suggest a completely plausible idea, `Oh, come off it, that's just a legend!'” He imitated a high voice even though Breda's was quite deep. “What is this, the `let's just go against everything Mustang says' club?”

 

“What's plausible about a city the size of Grand Central disappearing in one night?” Breda asked skeptically, but Falman answered him instead of Mustang.

 

“We've all seen it happen.” He reminded them. “In Lior.” And indeed the smug look on Mustang's face didn't help to appease the fact that they had been wrong.

 

“Yeah,” Havoc snapped, “Well how are we supposed to find it?” He asked angrily, and grinned his own smug smile. However the look didn't disappear from Mustang's face. He pulled a sheet of paper out of his pocket and waved it about loftily.

 

“I,” he boasted, “have a map.” He was having the time of his life.

 

He loved being right.

 

Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has obviously never tried it.

 

(1) 5 o'clock wow it gets's dark early in this story.

(2) That's a good episode, and I realised when I was proof-reading it, that it sounded a lot like what he said then.

 

Here you are, sorry it's a little late I was at a friends house, also as it is holidays, I might not be able to get it done as quickly so sorry in advance. Dad's going camping for the holidays and he won't let me stay at home alone so I'll try to get it done, but I can't make any promises.

 

Phe: Wassup? Thought I'd add a random greeting, I say that to everyone and they all get annoyed at me, I'm an annoying person what can I say? Just call me cheese. Why you ask? Everyone calls me that cuz of my school login name. Stupid system. I'm glad to know you find my sense of humor, humouress. Did that sentence make sense? Is humouress a word? Who cares? And no, no one realised that it was Envy, because Al doesn't remember and I can't even remember if Izumi actually ever met him. Neither did Russell and Fletcher actually. Eh I'm confusing myself. Dude I'm lucky I get to check back at what you said, Heheh it's the page next to the document. Muahahahahaha I cheat.

 

Misa92: Yeah I was born in New Zealand and lived with my mum, then we moved to Australia with dad 4 years ago, I like NZ better, the weather over here's screwed. It was the end of winter, there was a month left and I was so bloody hot, stupid Brisbane and its stupid weather. I love that Kelas song; I downloaded the one with words and the instrumental, but I can't find the lyrics or translation anywhere it's annoying I wanna know what they're saying. Holy crap 10GB for the whole series! I can't get that software because our computer just attracts viruses, there's like nothing you can do it's really annoying. I totally want a psp, I love play station, Dark cloud and the sequel are my favorites, then the final fantasy series. I never do my homework…*shifty eyes* my maths teachers always telling all of the kids in my class that if you don't do your homework that you'll never get the information stuck in your brain or something like that, but I'm the top maths student in the year and I hardly ever do it. Lol. 0.1%? You're already halfway there, how much is it done now?

 

Uniasus: Thanks! I love quotes, I decorate my school diary with all these ones that we're not meant to have, and they threaten to check but they never do. Updating more regularly than you huh? I just like getting reviews, I'll check out your story when I get time, my friends b'day's tomorrow so I gotta make her a card, I'm loading this in my spare time. I know poor Al, I suppose it'll get better near the end, but first it must get much, much worse. Muahahahaha.