Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Set in Stone ❯ Diaries are for Girls ( Chapter 18 )

`Til The Sun Shines

 

Chapter Eighteen

Diaries are for Girls

 

`One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown,

is the belief that one's work is terribly important'

- Bertrand Russell

 

March 8th1537

 

How would one start one of these journals?Not a diary - that's for girls - merely a journal, so I can look back later on in life. Or at least I suppose that's one excuse I could use, truth be told - as I understand you should do in these things - I was bored and here was an empty book with a pen.

 

Mother insisted I stay home today, I protested, but there wasn't really much effort behind the objections. I haven't been feeling my best lately anyway, perhaps a day off will do me well. Although I am disappointed I didn't get to go down to the river. I was supposed to meet Donovan and Raphael. Donovan wants help impressing Elizabeth, the girl down the lane. I can't see why, but each to his own I suppose. She is rather attractive.

 

And now that I've written that I'm not going to let anyone who can decipher this writing anywhere near it. Perhaps I could burn it? Spread the ashes down by the meadow? To make the burning not a completely ridiculous notion I should probably embarrass myself further, that and apart from writing this I still haven't found something to amuse myself.

 

So Donovan, he's an alright fellow, easy enough to get along with. He's a typical person from the desert, sun-tanned skin, and dark hair. I hate to admit it, but he is taller than me, but that's okay because I'm taller than Raphael. That guy's a midget. Donovan likes to fix things, but he prefers to do it with his hands, alchemy doesn't appeal to him much even though I think it would be something he'd enjoy. He's mischievous, but I suppose the three of us are, so it's not really saying much.

 

Raphael, he's the traveller. He's been up North, down South, to the smallest villages East and West, and he never runs out of stories. He's the comedian, always trying to turn something into a joke. I remember the time Don almost drowned down by the lake and after Raphael and I had managed to pull him out, both of us coughing a spluttering, he stood up and said “Right, I don't know about you, but I feel like a swim.” We laughed, it wasn't that funny, but we we're all lacking in oxygen and overflowing with adrenaline.

 

And then there's me, the rich one out of the trio. What can I say about myself? I'm an alchemist, mainly because Mother and Father are and I don't want to disappoint them. Alchemy doesn't particularly appeal to me.

 

I believe I've written enough for one day, maybe I won't entirely forget about this thing and write in it again, but writing on burnt pages is rather difficult so it's not bloody likely.

 

 

“I can't even remember what I said.” (1) Al exclaimed, shaking his head in amazement. “How on earth did you figure out he had a wife from what I said.” Mustang shrugged casually.

 

“It was a sort of chain reaction.” He replied. “Well is it true then?” He asked his eye looking at five who he thought knew something. Sig's expression was stoic as ever, and so was Izumi's; however Hoenheim and the two Al's were acting very suspiciously. “Why is it such a big deal?” He asked. “I have a wife, you have a wife, and Sig has a wife. Who's to say Fullmetal can't.”

 

“It's not that simple.” Alphons said, sharing a look with Hoenheim. “I thought we were the only ones who knew.” The different reactions throughout the room at the blatant admittance caused the volume to rise again.

 

“Shutup!” Mustang yelled loudly and gestured for Alphons to continue. However he wouldn't say anymore and they sat in silence waiting for someone to speak. “Fine then,” he said angrily, “don't answer why it's not simple. Where is she?” He asked instead.

 

“They're dead.” Izumi said, glaring slightly at him.

 

“They?” Mustang questioned. She didn't drop her gaze or turn away, but spoke confidently, in a quiet voice that they all heard.

 

“His wife and his daughter. They were both murdered. Are you happy yet?” She asked, and Mustang shook his head.

 

“No, I'm not. From now on, I don't want anything left out; anything that's relevant to what we're doing needs to be told. That includes gypsy girlfriends with the ability to read minds that means previous alliances with the group we're fighting, outstanding history that might help, or might be relevant. I'm sick of finding things out at the last minute.” He scanned the group with his good eye and straightened up in his chair. “I don't care which one of you does it, I want the whole story.”

 

 

Ed leafed through the old photo album, not one was in colour and many were fading in quality and stability. But it was interesting to see how his other-family, as he referred to them in his head, had lived. He could distinguish, from descriptions in his half-brothers journal, many of the people in the photos. The dark-skinned boy who Ed thought must be Donovan, and then the rather-short dark-haired boy, Raphael.

 

There were many photos of the three of them together, Donovan, Raphael, and the Elric he didn't have a name for. Then there were some of Hoenheim with Dante and their son; some other people from the city whom Ed thought he could probably label if he read further into the journal; and one intriguing girl, who had been so far excluded from the writings. He hadn't burnt the journal and spread it down by the meadow after all. After turning another page and seeing the mysterious girl yet again Ed frowned in thought and tried to decipher the number on the calendar in the back of the picture.

 

When he thought he had figured out the date he picked up the leather bound journal and opened it up to the page with the date May 26th written above it.

 

May 26th1537

 

I can't believe I've still kept this thing, Mother almost found it and I nearly died when she opened it up. I managed to snatch it off her before she noticed what was written in it, I think she thinks I'm planning to take over the world or something, what with the glare she sent me for snatching the thing off her. I should hide it better.

 

What am I saying? I sound like a girl. I should burn it, like I originally planned, but seeing as I'm already writing I may as well continue.

 

Ed couldn't help but chuckle at the words, the Elric boy couldn't make up his mind. Ed wondered briefly how old he'd been at the time, but put the thought aside and kept reading.

 

Riley got into some sort of trouble today, he always does. He's the local pick-pocket and everyone knows it, he normally gets the tourists, but I think he went for one of the men who insulted him the other day. The man was screaming his head off as though Riley had done something ghastly and incredibly wrong. Pompus old ass, Riley probably stole the mat of hair he keeps on his head. The old guy may as well wear a sign that screams “I'm Bald!” as you walk past.

 

Don, Raff and I laughed at him and cheered Riley on as the fat man ran past us, he sent us the dirtiest glare but we continued laughing. Don brought along his sister though and we all went back to my house to swim in the pool. I don't think I've written about her yet, so I may as well. Her names Annabelle and she's a year and a-half younger than Don, therefore a year younger than me. She's got a more typical Ishbalan appearance than Don though, her hair's a really light almost white blonde and her skin's darker than his. And her eyes are that deep red that Ishbalans have, Don's are too. Wish my eyes were red, that'd be cool. Raphael always says I complain too much because he thinks gold would attract all the ladies. Yeah Raff, because they're swarming over Father and I.

 

Reading back on that sentence: eew. (2)

 

She's funny to be around though, Don doesn't like it because she can beat him in a fight and it annoys him. I wouldn't even try because I've never even been able to beat Don; he's too big. She makes me want to do more Alchemy though, which is saying something seeing as I try to avoid it normally. She likes it, and so I do it to impress her. I wonder what Donovan would do if I asked her out for a date?

 

Edward closed the book; he guessed that the mysterious woman was Annabelle then. He'd picked out the fact that she was an Ishbalan, but it wasn't until he'd just read it that he realised her and Donovan were related. He looked up in alarm and hastily shoved the books under his bed as he heard footsteps approaching. He lay back on his bed and tried to look like he'd been there for a while. The person knocked on the room and opened it slowly even after he didn't answer. “Edward?” Noa asked, closing the door softly behind her. He glanced briefly up at her but still didn't answer, “Why aren't you working?” She asked carefully.

 

“Finished.” Ed replied shortly. “I know you know and I know it's why you're here.” She sat down on the end of the bed near his feet and he sat up, moving out of her arm's reach. However she didn't try to touch him, to find out the secrets hidden in the corners of his mind. She sat with her hands clasped on her lap, staring at her feet as they dangled below her.

 

“Do you think what we're doing is right?” She asked, “With these rockets, and everything?” Ed scoffed loudly but she didn't turn towards him.

 

“Of course it isn't. Are you serious? She's planning to destroy entire countries, what good can come from that? What's possibly right about it?” He asked. Her face was downcast as though what he'd said had confirmed what she'd thought.

 

“I thought it would help…” she said quietly. “They offered to help me, to make sure I didn't go to one of the concentration camps, to make sure I wasn't subject to all of Hitler's laws.”

 

Ed scoffed again, though quieter this time. “How would that help?” He asked.

 

“I wanted to help you.” She said, as though he didn't understand. “I wanted to help you come to this world, to the place I'd seen in your dreams; I wanted to come with you, to find a place where I could finally belong. A place where people wouldn't judge me or be afraid of me.” This time Ed outright laughed.

 

“And you thought you'd find that here.” He said bitterly. “There's nothing here but conflict and war. It's always been that way, and it always will be. Look what's happening in your world, Hitler's about to start another war the way he's going. That's all humans ever know, is fighting and betrayal, killing and violence. Every single one of us is a hypocrite. Claiming to fight `evil' to do `good'. Ha, that's rich.”

 

“But…” Noa began, “This world now, it's alright isn't it, there are only little bouts of fighting going on, surely they can easily be stopped.” Ed grinned dismally.

 

“Not the way things are going. Don't you realise that Eckhart's planning to release the bomb on this world? You think that the people are just going to sit and take that? You think that the military isn't going to fight back? And no matter who wins it will be a bitter end. People will die and people will get hurt, and what for? So that humans can satisfy their thirst for blood. Because we're all pathetic, pitiful creatures. They're fighting `evil', yeah that's rich. Evil…is a human invention.”

 

Noa didn't know what to say for a while. “I'm sorry.” She said at last. “For everything that's happened. Especially on today.” And Ed realised the real reason she's come in there to talk to him. Today was the anniversary of their deaths. She remembered it as though it were a motion picture in her head, she could never forget. After all, they were her family too…

 

 

It was a shock to wake up in the morning and realise that they were all gone, realise that she was a prisoner of the people responsible. The door of the room she was in opened up and Eckhart walked in, she stood up immediately and stood in a defensive position, despite the fact she knew she wouldn't stand a chance. “Relax, girl.” Eckhart said, a small smile on her face, but Noa didn't change in any way, her eyes narrowed in dislike.

 

“Where's Alphons?” She asked, her voice higher than she intended. Eckhart shrugged casually.

 

“I expect he's dead, along with Hoenheim and Edward. It's a shame…about Edward I mean.” Noa tried to hold back the tears welling in her eyes and lunged at the woman.

 

“You bitch!” She screamed. “You've murdered him, you murdered my fiancé.” She beat uselessly at the older woman, who looked down at her with an almost bored expression, holding both of her wrists in her strong grasp.

 

“I think right now, gypsy,” Eckhart said in a low dangerous voice, “that that is the least of your worries. Germany wants you out, and with no one left to protect you, where are you going to go?” She asked.

 

“No,” Noa sobbed, sinking to her knees and causing Eckhart to crouch as well. “There's still Marian…oh god…Edward…” She realised that she'd need to tell Marian and Sophia about Ed. She fought against Eckhart pulling free of her grasp and making for the door when a muscled man stood in the way, glaring down at her.

 

“Marian?” Eckhart questioned casually as though it hadn't happened. “Oh don't worry; we've taken care of her and that insolent child.” Noa whirled around in a blaze of fury.

 

“Liar.” She hissed accusingly. But once again Eckhart wasn't in the least bit affected by the outburst.

 

“You've very limited options here, Noa.” She said, and there was something in the sentence that increased Noa's distrust and dislike. “But you've got a very special talent. Something that if you do the right thing with, may save your life. Because you're not just any Gypsy, are you girl? You're a special type.” She moved forward, and touched her shoulder briefly, causing images of the woman's past flash before Noa's eyes. Her planning with Hitler, her army of Armor's that had failed to serve as she'd wanted them to, her time spent in the prison and how it had driven her to a point where she was barely sane. Eckhart grinned as the woman flinched under her touch, knowing that Noa could see what she was thinking.

 

“Go away,” Noa mumbled, pushing the hand away and stepping back, merely causing Eckhart to smile.

 

“You don't want to live like this,” She said quietly, manipulating the vulnerable young woman in front of her. “Do you think the rules they're going to enforce will be fun? Who are you betraying? There's no one left, take what we offer you, because it's going to be the best thing you're going to get.” And despite the way that Noa shook her head, her eyes wide a fearful, that way that she'd screamed at the woman to leave, Eckhart grinned.

 

“I don't know if we're going to be able to persuade her ma'am.” The man at her side said, and she turned to him, a wicked grin on her face.

 

“We already have.” She said, leaving the confused man behind. Because she'd seen the look in Noa's eye, that girl had no where else to turn.

 

 

Noa had received the shock of a lifetime when after 2 years of working for the Thule society, they met up again with Edward, Marian, and their now 5 year old daughter Sophia. She'd asked where Alphons was and he replied that he didn't know and the last time he'd seen him was the last time he'd seen her. He tried to convince her to come back over to their side, but Eckhart was right, she couldn't live like that, the rules, the discrimination. She only wanted a place where she could belong and at that point and time, Eckhart delivered that to her on a silver platter. For something in exchange of course, but what she did didn't hurt anybody. She didn't ask what Eckhart did with the information she gathered and when she touched her she didn't get anything horribly wrong.

 

But everything changed that night. They'd been chasing after Ed and Marian for a few months and Noa thought if she could just talk to him, explain to him, then maybe he'd see things from their point of view. But it hadn't turned out that way. Eckhart had taken Sophia and held a gun to her head, threatening to kill her if Edward didn't create the bomb like she wanted. Marian had screamed and cried and begged for her child back so Eckhart had turned to her instead, saying she wouldn't kill the child, merely his wife. Ed had caved when she had threatened Sophia.

 

“Alright! I'll do it!” Ed's voice echoed around the large cavern. “You win,” he said in defeat.

 

“No!” Marian cried, struggling against her captives. “Don't be an idiot, please! Don't do it!” However the man had already been taken out of the room and the desperate woman grabbed her child close to her as she was returned.

 

“Mama?” She asked, “Where's daddy going?” And the woman could do nothing but sob despondently into her daughters shoulder as she wrapped her arms around her mother, trembling in fear.

 

“It'll be alright.” The woman repeated, like a mantra, holding the child to her, rocking the both of them backwards and forwards as the people around her celebrated their victory. “We'll figure it out…we always do.”

 

Noa hadn't celebrated; she didn't know what to do. Because all her beliefs had been turned on their heads, she didn't understand how she, of all people, hadn't realised what Eckhart was planning to do. What was even more frustrating was that no matter how hard she tried, how close she got, how long her hand remained touching the woman's arm, she couldn't figure out what the rest of her plan entailed. So she watched helplessly as the people she had once considered her best - her only - friends had to do Eckhart's will, and she slowly began to realise it was her fault.

 

She walked, with this heavy guilt weighing on her heart, into the room that Marian and Sophia stayed, laden with two dinner trays, having already eaten herself. She opened the door and Marian didn't even look up, she was playing with Sophia. However the little girl did look up as Noa placed the tray's on the table next to the beds. “Aunty Noa!” She explained, standing up and running to hug her. Noa felt the joy the child expressed as she hugged her and let her go, kneeling so she was the same height.

 

“Do you know what day it is today?” Noa asked, trying hard to suppress the guilt at the small room inside her. Sophia thought for a moment before answering, her eyes lighting up.

 

“It's my birthday!” She exclaimed, and Noa nodded.

 

“And how old are you?” She asked as Marian stood and moved over to the two.

 

“I'm six.” Sophia said proudly, and Marian ruffled her hair slightly a small smile on her face.

 

“That's right kiddo, maybe daddy will come by later today.” She looked hopefully at Noa, who met her eyes and nodded instantly.

 

“I'll see what I can do,” she said, while feeling horrible at the statement, “Maybe I can get some cake as well.” She smiled slightly as the little girl exclaimed with joy at the thought of cake and offered the two of them the dinner trays. Sophia went and sat on the floor to eat while Marian and Noa sat on one of the beds. “I'm sorry.” Noa said quietly, her head bowed, as Marian silently ate her meal. “For everything that's happening.” Marian attempted a smile but it failed and faded away.

 

“What's going to happen to us?” She asked quietly, her voice choked as she lowered the fork, dropping it on the plate. “What's going to happen to Edward? He's been cooped up in that room doing their dirty work for weeks.” She said spitefully and Noa felt another harsh twist of guilt.

 

“I don't know.” Noa asked, “I've no say in what they do. I never should have helped them, I was so scared, they told me you were dead, they told me Alphons was dead, I still don't know what's happened to him.” Her voice was getting higher and louder and Marian rubbed her back comfortingly.

 

“I'm sure Edwards got a plan.” She said quietly. “You'll help won't you?” She asked, in all seriousness. “If it comes to that, if he asks you to keep something secret, you will, right?”

 

Noa couldn't do anything but nod feebly; she wanted to help so badly. She'd do anything she could. So when Eckhart asked her to see if Ed's intentions were in their best interests, she lied. She told them Ed was doing what he was meant to; she left out the fact that he was creating it so that it would never go off, making tiny almost unperceivable adjustments so that it would never launch. She remembered the thankful look in his eye that told her he knew she wanted to help. However when the people Eckhart had on staff went over the plans they noticed the carefully placed mistakes, and they went back and checked for more until they'd figured out what he had been trying to do.

 

And she would never, not in a million years forget the child screams as her mother was shot in front of her eyes. And she'd never forget the look on Ed's face as they dragged his daughter away from him, the tears streaming down his face as he looked at the dead bodies of his family. The look of complete and utter hopelessness and despair as they killed the 6 year old light of his life.

 

And the murderous look in his eye as he looked at her, blood covering his hands and darkness tinting his eyes.

 

And that's when she figured out why she couldn't read Eckhart's intentions. When the woman had laughed as she had committed the heinous acts. An insane person knows not their own delusional thoughts…what chance does someone else have of understanding them?

 

`It is impossible to make anything else foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.'

 

(1) I couldn't think of anything, so lets just say Al forgot and Mustang for reasons unknown isn't telling.

(2) Lol. I don't want to think of my dad and urgh…can't finish sentence.

 

I think this was one of the most difficult chapters to write so far. *reads last part of chapter* I really need to stop listening to depressing music as I write this. Oh but I love the song. It's the best song ever. I'm playing this song at my funeral because it's such a funeral song. I command you to all go and listen to it - it is Hide and Seek, by Imogen Heap. Tis a beautiful song, or maybe that's just cause when I first heard it was like one of the most calm, peaceful, lovely moments of my life. When my author notes are shorter perhaps I will tell you about it. Anyway many of you were wondering what comment Alphonse said that sparked off Mustangs outburst, but I couldn't think of one so you're going to have to use your imagination lol. Got to go to school tomorrow *tear* and I didn't finish my art assignment. It so doesn't look like a turtle. Looks like a foot stool with an extra useless leg sticking out the side.

 

Phe: Yeah incase you hadn't figured out by now Mustang was talking about Ed's wife. *insert evil laugh* and I couldn't think of a comment that could string together all the clues lol, so we'll pretend he doesn't remember. I know, I hate being sick, unless its at the start of a school week and I can scab days off. And I have to go back to school tomorrow and lo and behold - the sickness has mysteriously disappeared. It's a miracle. Stupid bastard of a sadistic germ. Lol. Sadistic germ.

 

Uniasus: Nope, they like each other that way *insert evil laugh* I need to stop doing that. Yeah can't think of a line for al to say, I spent like 20 minutes staring at the screen trying to think of one, then sitting in the shower, then walking to my friends house singing like a maniac (we sounded drunk) and still couldn't think of one, of course I kept getting distracted. Moth on the screen, had to wash my hair, I was singing.