Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Sweet Dreams ❯ Perverted Bastard Colonel ( Chapter 1 )

Sweet Dreams

 

A fullmetal alchemist yaoi >3

 

Disclaimer: I do not own fullmetal alchemist… or Ed and Roy… If I did own any of it, I would definitely force Roy and Ed together XD

 

Pairing: RoyxEd

 

Rating: M (due to later chapters)

 

Chapter One - Perverted Bastard Colonel

 

 

 

Roy Mustang sat in his office at his desk, drumming his fingers against the surface. Considering the pile of papers on his desk, you'd think he had more important things to be doing. Though the papers needed to be signed and filed, the colonel wanted nothing more than to walk right out his door and avoid doing any work at all. Unfortunately for him, his trigger happy assistant would be pointing her gun right in the middle of his forehead, threatening to blow his brains out if he didn't get back into his office and stop procrastinating. He sighed to himself silently, knowing there was no way out of it. Just as he was about to regretfully start signing and filing with pen in hand, he heard the sound of his door creaking open. Soon enough, he saw a familiar head of blonde hair poking into his office.

 

“Yes, Fullmetal?” He asked smoothly, smirking and looking up from his papers. He immediately saw the smaller alchemist stroll in looking rather annoyed.

 

“Mustang, when am I actually gonna get some real work around here? All I've been doing is going through other people's research and filing it… Most of the stuff's just crap anyway...” Edward complained. Naturally, his complaints fell on deaf ear, due to the current short joke thought up at that particular moment by Roy. He then chuckled, leaving Ed not amused. He simply plopped down on the black leather couch in front of the Colonel's desk and looked over at the chuckling man across from him.

 

“What's so funny Colonel Bastard? Going mentally unstable in your old age?” Ed quipped, smirking, yet still awaiting an answer.

 

“Just think Ed, if you were any shorter, I'd have to look over my desk and pile of papers just to look you in the eye...” Roy commented quickly, awaiting the younger alchemist's heated reply.

 

And Ed certainly didn't disappoint.

 

“WHO'RE YOU CALLING A RUNT SO TINY HE COULD ONLY BE SEEN WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS?!” came the blonde's very loud and angry reply.

 

While Ed stood there fuming, Roy simply chuckled, loving how he could get a rise out of him with a single remark about his height. He then walked around his desk and the fuming teenager on the couch. Edward's expression changed from annoyance to confusion as curious golden eyes followed the dark haired alchemist's actions….The colonel in question was walking over to his door. He then proceeded to open it, poke his head out to look around, then close and lock it. Edward tilted his head to the side as Roy began walking back, wondering what the hell all that was about.

 

“Oi, Mustang, what were you doing?” Ed asked curiously, wondering what the alchemist would need to lock the door for. Roy glanced over at Ed and smirked. This wasn't his normal everyday taunting smirk either… This... was different. Roy made his was to his desired path… straight to Edward. Soon enough, Roy was right in front of Ed, causing Ed to look up at him. “Mustang, what the he-“

 

Immediately, his sentence was muffled by a pair of lips pressed against his own. Edward's eyes flew open and his face flushed as he gasped in surprise. Roy took advantage of this and deepened the kiss, pinning Ed's hands behind him against the back cushions of the sofa. Edward made an effort at struggling, attempting to push the advancing colonel off of him. To no avail, the man above him did not budge.

 

Roy then managed to keep both of Ed's wrists together with only one of his hands. He took his free hand and allowed it to travel down to the lap of the smaller male below him. He heard Edward's desperate attempt at suppressing his moan but failing miserably. Roy found himself smirking into the kiss, the sounds escaping the teenager below him motivating him even more. Edward involuntarily ground into Roy's hand, groaning into his mouth. Roy broke the kiss and began to trail light kisses down Ed's neck, hearing Ed's gasps and heavy breathing. Edward whimpered softly and then mumbled, “R-Roy…. I-I lov-“

 

RIIIIIIIIIIING!!!! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!! RIIIIII-

 

Roy Mustang slammed his hand down on the annoyingly incessant ringing telephone next to his bed. He grunted groggily into the telephone.

 

“Mustang.”

 

“Sir, you're late.” Came the voice of Lt. Hawkeye through the receiver.

 

“Sorry, Hawkeye, I…. Had some minor difficulties waking up, I'll be there soon.”

 

“Yes, Sir”

 

“And Hawkeye?”

 

“Yes?” she asked.

 

“Have Fullmetal wait in my office for me until I get there, I need to look over his report.”

 

“Consider it done, Sir.”

 

They hung up and he fell back onto his bed. Another night… another dream about the short, blonde haired object of his affection. He sighed and lazily threw off the covers from his body. Looking down, he quickly realized that he was pitching a rather large tent in his boxers. At that point all he could say to himself was, “Well... Time for a nice, freezing cold shower.” Roy groaned inwardly and got up off his bed, walking over to his bathroom to do just that.

 

After several minutes of ice cold water…

 

The Colonel proceeded downstairs after getting dressed, still slightly cold after his shower. Shivering a bit, he grabbed his keys, coat, and suitcase and headed out the door, locking behind him. His driver waited ever so patiently for him to finally make his way over to the car, and in the back seat. Then they drove off, heading for Central Headquarters.

 

----------------------------------Meanwhile…--------------- ---------------------------

 

Our favorite metal limbed teenager was sitting inside of his military dorm room glaring at a pile of scattered papers that lay upon his desk in front of him. This pile of papers was the report that the young state alchemist was asked to write, summarizing the facts of the research material he'd been asked to read. The same report Ed was supposed to file in to the “damn good for nothing bastard colonel” as he referred to him. Thinking about Mustang's pompous attitude and smirk wasn't going to help the small blonde calm down much either.

 

“I'd put that bastard colonel in his place…. If he didn't have the power to burn me to a crisp and then call me `Fried Shrimp'…” Edward mumbled to himself as he gathered the papers back up, stacking them and mumbling under his breath, “Bastard...”

 

He looked through them to make sure he didn't miss any `important' details that Mustang might get on his ass about. One he was certain, he slid them into a manila folder and closed the flap. He walked around his room, gathering random scattered clothing to straighten up, and then plopping it onto his bed, too lazy to actually put it away. Walking over to his closet, he pulled out his signature red cloak and slipped it on. Then he stepped into his boots and grabbed his report on the way out the door, slamming it behind him.

 

Ed walked down the hallway, his eyes staring forward blankly, thinking of many ways he could come back to any one of Mustang's short joked before he found himself in front of said Colonel's office. Hawkeye looked up at him from her desk and a small smile found its way onto her face.

 

“Hello Edward. Colonel Mustang told me to have you wait in his office until he arrives. He's running a bit late, I trust you have your report?”

 

Ed nodded, holding up the folder. “I'll just see myself in, I guess” he said quietly and opened Mustang's door, then closing it behind him. As soon as Ed walked in, he caught the colonel's scent. He inhaled deeply, smiling to himself. He never really did understand why Mustang's scent always relaxed him. It was one of those things he couldn't explain. Roy's scent…. Firewood mixed with rain…. Very odd combination…. He smirked to himself.

 

Glancing around the room, he noticed that the Colonel's room was very orderly. He aimlessly wandered around the room, taking in small details that not many people who have heard about the black haired alchemist would focus on. Like the picture the small group of people who worked outside of Roy's office… including Edward himself. He lightly smiled at that picture. Hawkeye stood to the far right, smiling gently with Black Hayate, her dog, sitting right next to her feet. Roy and Edward stood in the middle next to each other, looking like they had better things to do than stand still for a picture. Hughes was smiling big, flashing the camera a picture of his daughter, Elysia. Havoc was just smirking at the camera with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth while Feury, Falman, and Breda just smiled at the camera awkwardly.

 

His eyes then traveled over to the phone. Remembering that Al was probably eagerly awaiting in Risembool for a call from Ed, he picked up the phone and dialed the number. He waited for a couple seconds before the familiar female voice of his mechanic came through the receiver.

 

“Hello, Rockbell residence...” said Winry.

 

“Hey there, Winry…” Edward answered.

 

“Ed! How come you sent Al here and didn't come too? You know, we want you here just as much as Al does!” she complained as Ed winced, thankful he wasn't actually there for fear he might get clocked over the head with a wrench… again.

 

“Sorry… I'm just swamped with a whole bunch of crap over here… Mustang's not giving me a break… Now… can I talk to Al please?” He asked eagerly.

 

“-Sigh- Yeah…, “ Then she called, “Al! Your brother's on the phone!”

 

There were a few clanks gradually getting louder and louder. Naturally, it was the sound of his brother walking over to the phone… Then soon he heard a timid, boyish voice speak.

 

“Brother?”

 

“Hey al…. How are you settling in over there?” Ed asked softly, smiling slightly to himself.

 

“Oh… just fine I guess…. When are you gonna come over here?” He asked, wanting to see his brother again.

 

“I don't think I'll be able to, Al… I have to do a lot of work over here… Besides, you get to spend time with Winry and Aunt Pinakko, you don't have to worry about me over here, I'll be fine, alright?”

 

There was a silence over the phone for a minute, before he finally spoke, “I can't help but worry about you, brother… But I guess I'll try to enjoy myself...”

 

Just then, Ed heard the colonel's deep voice making small talk with Riza outside.

 

“Hey, Al I gotta go now, alright? I'll call you when I can...” He then hung up the phone and leaped over Mustang's desk, then ran over and hopped onto the black leather couch in front of the Colonel's desk just as Roy had walked in.

 

Roy looked down at Ed and smirked.

 

“Well, Fullmetal, I'm surprised. I thought for sure that your short patience would wear out and you'd have left…”

 

Ed's eye twitched and he glared at Mustang, “WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' A RUNT SO TINY HE COULD FIT INTO THE GROOVES OF A SHOE?!” he yelled, standing up and fuming at Roy, who merely chuckled and proceeded to walk over to and behind his desk, then sat down in his chair. Once he was comfortable, Roy opened his eyes and sent a cool glance in Ed's direction. Ed caught it and against his better judgment, he felt his cheeks heat up as they turned the faintest tint of red. Of course, this did not go unnoticed by the Colonel. Sitting back down, Edward turned away from his superior officer to not only regain his composure, but to pick up his very lengthy and tiring report. He held it for a second; letting his cheeks cool down before turning around with a smirk on his face, holding it up in front of Roy.

 

“So, you want this damn report or what, Mustang?” This was more of a statement than an actual question.

 

Roy chuckled at the younger alchemist and nodded, “Bring it over here, Fullmetal, make yourself useful.” He taunted, making Edward bristle. `Make yourself useful, he says…' He thought to himself. `Bastard Colonel…' Ed made his way over to Roy's desk, carelessly plopping the report on his superior's desk. He turned on his heel and was about to start walking out of the office when the colonel's smooth voice stopped him in his tracks.

 

“Where do you think you're going, Fullmetal? You stay here until I'm done reading through this report. I have to make sure you actually did your job right.”

 

Edward nearly collapsed, then he grunted a stream of remarks about how the “Sadist Colonel Bastard” who got his kicks from ordering him around. He dropped back onto the couch, looking around bored out of his mind. He had rest his chin on his palm, his elbow resting on the arm of the couch. The only thing breaking the silence in the room was the occasional flipping of the pages of Ed's report.

 

Just as he started to fidget after sitting for what seemed like hours, Ed hear Roy finally speak. “Edward…” Roy said, waved for him to come over to him. Ed got up and went straight over to Mustang's desk. When he got there, he looked at the Colonel and unexpectedly locked his gaze with the older males. Not able to break their locked gaze, Edward just listened to the man in front of him. Roy then spoke, “Well, first I'd like to inform you that this was very well written… I didn't think you had it in you, but it looks like you've finally grown up, Ed. This will be very helpful to me.” Ed managed to keep his surprise from showing on his face as he muttered a “Thank you” and waiting for any more things the Colonel might want to tell him.

 

Roy then continued, “Secondly, I want to know something….” He used one finger to motion Edward to come closer. Ed obeyed reluctantly, wondering what was so important. Roy then whispered…

 

“Fullmetal… Why do you come when I finger you?”

 

Ed didn't need much time to catch the hidden meaning behind that one sentence and found himself blushing profoundly and stuttering out, “W-What? C-Colonel!” He felt his face heating up more and felt his emotions flaring, only causing him to blush even more. “I-I have t-to….” Before he finished his sentence, he ran out of the room, ignoring the stares he was getting from his fellow military men, only wanting to get to his room. Soon he made it to his military dorm and closed the door, attempting to calm himself down, still blushing at the totally unexpected comment that just came from his Colonel.

 

Meanwhile, back in Roy's office, the infamous and feared Flame Alchemist was gaping for air between fits of uncontrollable laughter. Lt. Hawkeye poked her head through the doorway, giving a questioning look to the alchemist who was laughing his ass off.

 

“Sir, if I may ask… what on earth is so funny?”

 

Instead of a reply, all she heard was Roy's laughter. She just shrugged to herself, going back to working. After a few minutes, the older alchemist's laughter died down to faint chuckling. He allowed himself to calm down finally, letting his breathing even out.

 

`Now, what to do about my dreams…'