Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Thanks ❯ Mother ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

~*~*~*Story Start*~*~*~


~*~*~*Nine Years Ago*~*~*~


Ed, Al, Winry and I stood in the living room of my house, the boys and I kneeling on the ground with white chalk clutched in our hands. On the hard wood floor below us was a basic transmutation circle, something that Ed and Al have been teaching me to draw for the past few weeks. A wide smile was on my lips as I was practically bouncing with excitement, almost unable to wait to show my older sister the present I wanted to give her. Winry was always saying to me how she wished she could have a doll that was her own, as she had to give me her old ones as I grew up and me being...me had destroyed them beyond compare thanks to my playfulness. I was the one who originally wanted to show Winry that I could do alchemy, but considering I was still new to the whole thing, I wanted the boys to do it with me, not wanting the present to turn out like crap.


“See this line goes here,” Ed instructed to me, connecting a white line into a diamond shape.


I nodded mutely, quickly taking a mental note to remember to write that down at some point in time. Ed was practically my teacher, as well as Al, having an exceptional aptitude for alchemy. At first I didn't even know that I could preform alchemy, or even know what it was to begin with. But when I saw Ed and Al drawing the little circles I was naturally curious, and when they showed me I tried to do the same and managed to make a misshaped lump of clay. It may not seem like much but at that time I was ecstatic, finally finding something I could do that I could proudly say that I could do in my family, as apparently no-one in my family can do it. It was also because I had something to do with the boys, as Winry was beginning to learn under our grandmother to make automail. I wanted to be a Surgeon and Nurse like my parents, but as I was too young to learn something like that, that dream had to be put off for the time being. Much to my displeasure, might I add.


“Hey!” Winry suddenly whined, a pout on her lips. “I'm bored.”


Hearing my older sister's voice I beamed up at her with an excited smile. “Don't worry, you're really gonna like it!” I said eagerly, not even caring that I was more enthusiastic than she was, I wanted to make my sister happy and this is gonna do it!


“Yeah, one more second Winry,” Al added, although he had a calmer smile on his lips.


“All right, we're done!” Ed placed his chalk down, and I began to bouncing physically, looking at the completed transmutation circle as the boys and I stood up. “What do you think, Winry?” he asked.


“I think that's a lousy present...” Winry mumbled with a frown.


My eyes widened in fear, quickly turning to her with a frown. “That's not the present! It's gonna be really, really nice, I promise!” I said, my eyes beginning to burn slightly, I don't wanna make Winry sad, I wanna make her happy!


Ed chuckled at me, ruffling my hair playfully in an attempt to calm me down. “It's just the outline for one,” he explained, turing to Winry as I pouted, fixing my hair.


Winry didn't say anything, just continued to hold Den in her arms as she stood against the far wall. Rubbing my eyes with a determined look on my face, Ed, Al and I grabbed the materials that looked like gray sand. Grabbing two hand fulls of the sand-like minerals, the boys and I stood over the circle and let the sand fall through our fingers into one large pile in the middle of the transmutation circle. When the last of the sand fell we went over to the edge of the circle and got to our knees, pressing our palms onto the chalk lines beneath us.


Golden light began to glow from the lines, spreading out into the air as the room illuminated in the yellow light. Excited smiles light Ed and Al's faces, along with mine, when the pile of sand began to slowly raise from the ground, coiling and churning as alchemic electricity crackled around it. The pile began to form slowly, a face beginning to form on the head that began to take shape, and I had to keep myself from looking over at Winry, unable to wait to see the smile on her face. She was going to love this doll, it was going to be amazing, I know it!


However, the smile instantly dropped from my lips when I heard Winry let out a cry of fear. My head wiped around, seeing her huddled behind Den, tears in her fear-filled eyes. Den was barking at the doll that was slowly starting to become what it had originally intended to be. But I didn't care, when I saw Winry slid down the wall and sit on her knees with her head in her hands I instantly got up and went to her side, the boys doing the same making the golden light fade.


“Winry?” Al asked, rushing to her side with Ed in tow.


Tears began to fill my eyes, watching as my older sister sobbed into her hands. “Winry, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm so sorry!” I apologized over and over again, but Winry just kept crying.


~*~*~*~


Ed, Al and I sat outside of my house, our legs pulled up to our chests with hour arms crossed over them. My bottom lip was trembling, tears threatening to spill. I wasn't crying because I thought was I getting in trouble, I was crying because I made Winry cry. I didn't mean to at all, but I did it anyway. My hands clenched tightly onto my arms, trying not to start sobbing myself. Ed looked over at me, hearing my small sniffles and let out a gentle smile, putting his hand on my head once again, making me jump back into reality. I looked over at him, desperately wiping away the tears that were starting to blur my vision.


“Don't worry Haley, Winry isn't mad at you,” he said, his tone reassuring.


Al nodded, putting a comforting hand on my left shoulder, making me turn to him as well. “Yeah, I bet your mom and dad are telling her that you were just trying to give her something nice right now,” he agreed, a bright smile on his lips.


I looked down at the ground, my lip trembling again. “B-But I ma-made her so scared...” I mumbled guiltily.


Ed ruffled my hair again. “She'll forgive you, trust me,” he promised, chuckling slightly as I threw him a watery glare, fixing my hair once again.


“O-okay,” I mumbled with a small hiccup.


The front door opened, and the sound of footsteps against the dirt made our heads raise. We all turned to our rights, seeing Miss Trisha standing there with a smile on her face. The boys and I stood up, but unlike the boys I looked over at her with a nervous look on my face, wondering if Winry my parents were mad at me. My hands wrung themselves nervously as I turned my gaze to the floor, biting my lip. I didn't want my parents mad at me too, just the thought of Winry being mad was hard enough.


Trisha noticed my look, and giggled softly. “Haley, your parents are wondering where you are, they want to talk to you.” Upon seeing my body freeze and hearing my breath hitch, she smiled at me. “Don't worry, they aren't mad, in fact I think their the opposite,” she said, making me look at her in confusion.


“What do you mean, Mom?” Al asked, his expression matching mine.


“Haley will see when she goes in,” Trisha said smiling down at him before she turned to both of them. “Come on you two, we have to go home now.”


I gulped slightly, having hoped Ed and Al would be there with me. Ed saw that and gave me an apologetic smile as he waved a small goodbye. “See you tomorrow, Haley, I'll bring over some more material all right?” he asked.


“Yeah, bye!” Al said, copying Ed as he held his mother's hand.


As they walked away, I timidly waved back at them. “Bye...” I called, trailing as I looked back at the house.


Swallowing the fear down I walked over to the small front porch and grabbed the front door knob. Slowly opening it, I waited to see angry stares from my parents and grandmother and a glare from Winry, but what I got was something different. My parents, like Miss Trisha had said, was the complete opposite they actually looked...proud. I narrowed my eyes in confusion, they were happy that I scared Winry? But that question was instantly forgotten when Winry ran over to me with a smile on her face, making the tears that had been in my eyes dry in relief.


“Haley,” Winry giggled as she stopped in front of me, no traces of tears on her face at all. “Do you think you can make me another pretty doll tomorrow? Miss Trisha took the one you guys made today,” she said with a pout on her lips.


A bright smile lit my lips. “Okay! Ed and Al are gonna bring more material over tomorrow!” I said happily.


Our mother walked over, kneeling down to our height. “Do you think we could watch, too? Its not everyday someone in our family can do alchemy,” she said smiling at me with that same proud look that I saw earlier.


I smiled and nodded exaggeratedly. “Yeah! I could even make you something too, Mama! Ed's been teaching me how to make crowns of flowers, their really pretty! And, and, I could make you something Daddy! You too, Grandma!” I shouted excitedly, bouncing on the balls of my feet.


Dad let out a laugh, rubbing the back of his head. “I've never seen her so excited before, I can already see her making anything she can think of pretty soon, especially with those boys teaching her like they have,” he said, but a sweat drop appeared at the back of his head, already picturing the whole house filled with little creatures ranging from different sizes.


“No kidding, if this keeps up we'll have to add another section to the house,” Grandma agreed with a chuckle.


However, I wasn't paying attention as I continued to ramble on about what the boys had been teaching me, and thanks to Winry's excited and interested look I grew even more excited. I never thought alchemy could make them all so happy before, at first I just wanted to learn because everyone else in my family had something they were good at and I was just...a regular five year old who liked to play outside. But because of their smiles, I had more motivation to continue practicing with the boys. I wanted to make my parents happy, Grandma happy and Winry happy. With a new goal in mind, I vowed to do whatever it took to become better at alchemy, just so I could see those smiles again.


~*~*~*2 Years Later*~*~*~


Two years had passed since that day, and they were filled with countless smiles, especially when I did as I had promised. I made Winry another doll, Mama a crown of flowers, Daddy a figurine of a misshaped cow and Grandma a screw driver -which really didn't look like one, but she loved it nonetheless- each accepting them with the smiles that I loved to see on their faces. However, a few months ago our parents were called away to the war in Ishval to act as Surgeons towards the wounded soldiers. I was against it obviously along with Winry, but before they left they promised to come back soon. I kept that hope in my heart these past few months, but when the mail came today, those hopes crumbled into nothing but dust as an icy cold gust of wind hit me.


The letter that came today was clutched in Grandma's hand as she looked towards the ground, holding in tears. Winry sobbed into her arms as she laid her head on the table, while I stood numb with shock, tear streaming down my face as my body shook. Dead... That word rung itself in my head continuously like a broken record, mocking me. A surprise attack had hit the camp they had stayed in, and they didn't make it out it alive. They were gone... My fists clenched tightly at my side, flashes of their faces a few months ago appearing in my mind, their words of comfort as they promised to come home echoing in my head. ...This was a lie, it had to be. I-It wasn't fair!


“Haley! Winry!”


My breathing hitched when I heard Ed and Al's voices shout from outside, and without a second thought I ran to the door when I heard them knock and threw it open. The boys were standing there, two figurines of cows clutched into their hands, smiles on their faces. However, their smiles dropped when they saw my tear stained face, and before they could ask what was wrong, I threw my arms around Ed, burying my face into his chest as I sobbed. Ed stumbled back slightly, but held me, looking around the room to see my sister and grandmother in the same state I was in. Ed and Al shared worried glances before asking what was wrong, and Grandma was the only one of us able to say those dreaded words.


“Wha...what do you mean dead?” Al asked in shock, his eyes wide.


Winry rose her head, a watery glare in her eyes. “Don't be stupid, Al! Their plain dead! Our mom and dad are dead!” she shouted before she broke down into more sobs, dropping her head in her arms once again.


“No!” Ed held me a bit tighter, and I responded by doing the same. “I thought they were just doctors!” he said, not able to wrap his head around something so...so unfair!


“They we-went to be Su-Surgeons in the war in I-Ishval,” I sobbed into Ed's chest, my body shaking as the words the letter spoke came back, and my fists clenched tightly over Ed's shirt. “There was a sur-surprise at-attack!”


Ed frowned, looking down at me. “Haley...” he whispered softly.


Al frowned as well, looking at the cow he clutched in his hands before he turned to Winry, walking over to her slowly. “Winry...our dad's gone to, you know. We make it okay,” he said gently as he placed the cow down next to her, in hopes that would at least make her feel better, for a little while at best.


Winry smacked the cow away, it landing on the floor with a loud thud. “Shut up, you idiot!” She got to her feet, an angry glare in her eyes as she got in Al's face, making the poor boy step back slightly, surprised by the sudden outburst. “Your dad just ran off! Our parent are both dead, they can't ever come back!” she shouted, her voice cracking as she lowered her gaze to the floor once again.


Al frowned once again, picking up the cow from the floor, but kept his gaze there as well.


“That's not necessarily true,” Ed spoke up, making me look up at him as I stepped back with a small sniffle, Al and Winry looking over at him as well.


Winry and I looked at each other with confusion before turning to Ed again, tears still falling. “Huh?”


Ed kept his gaze onto the floor as his eyes narrowed in thought. “I read it in a book, there's this artificially made thing called a Homunculus.” My eyes widened at the sound of that, a small glimmer of hope beginning to form in my heart. “It's sort of a living doll without a mind to begin with, but some scholars believe with alchemy if you're willing to give up enough-”


“Stop!” Grandma cut him off sharply, eyes narrowing at the blond haired boy. “There'll be no talking like that in this house, you understand me?! That is a forbidden science! Alchemy is not some magic and all answer; that's why we automail engineers exist!”


Ed looked off to the side. “Backwards old bat,” he growled in annoyance.


Grandma glared at him, and before I knew it I was ducking away from the boys as numerous items flew at the boys, making them book it out of the house and down the road to theirs. I frowned as I wiped the tears away, my eyes lowering to floor as I thought about what Ed had said. Any artificially made 'thing', was it possible to make people, artificial or not? Could...could he be talking about something that could bring our mom and dad back to us? But what Grandma said, why was it forbidden? How could something like that, something that could bring back loved ones, be so bad? I didn't know.


Heading upstairs without any word, I collapsed onto my bed, the aching in my chest throbbing painfully as everything that happened today hit me once again. I buried my head into my pillow, crying and sobbing my heart out for countless hours on end. And when a restless and dreamless sleep washed over me, I couldn't help but hope that this never happened to the boys. Like they said, their father was already gone and was probably dead for all they knew, and losing their mother...it would devastate them. I didn't wish this on anyone, especially not those boys. But once that thought came into my mind, a horrible feeling filled me.


~*~*~*2 Years Later*~*~*~


Those past two year were one of the hardest I had to endure, having the funeral shortly after the news. But with Ed, Al and Miss Trisha's help, things were becoming brighter again. My heart still hurt with the empty hole it had, and I'll never really move on from what happened, but thanks to them Winry, Grandma and I were doing better. This past year had been one of the best since that day, the boys and I studying alchemy even more and me studying even harder on become a Surgeon and a Nurse as well. We would always go to the library after school to get alchemy books and the medical books for me as well, and everyone supported my dream with smiles that were both sad and proud.


However, that feeling I got that night two years ago was coming back, and I wasn't sure why. It scared me, mostly because whenever I was around Miss Trisha that feeling grew stronger, but I never said anything, not wanting to cause any worry. And thankfully because of the boys and our studies I've been able to distract myself, and thankfully -again- today was one of those days. The boys and I were asked to go to the market today by Miss Trisha -well I volunteered, but whatever- to get some vegetables for their dinner tonight. With full baskets in hand, Ed, Al and I were racing towards their house, carefree smiles on our faces as the summer sun warmed our backs.


“Come on, Al!” Ed called to his younger brother with a laugh. “You couldn't beat a snail with a broken leg!”


I shot Ed a playful look, seeing him throwing a smirk over his shoulder at Al. “Don't tease Al like that Ed, especially when you're smaller than a snail!” I mocked with a kittenish grin on my lips, especially when I saw Ed tense up next to me. It was true that Ed was short for his age, well of course he wasn't that short, especially when Al and I were on year younger than him and already taller than  he was. Ha!


“What was that?!” Ed growled, an irk mark appearing on his temple.


Al laughed “You better run, Haley!” he shouted.


“What can he do? He can't get me with those short legs of hi-” I looked back with a smirk, but when I saw Ed's murderous -anime- glare on me, I paled. Uh oh... “Crap!” I shouted, pumping my legs faster to run, especially when I heard an animalistic growl escape Ed's throat.


Ed, despite my distance, managed to catch up quickly. “I'm going to kill you!”


“Ed stop it! You're gonna bruise the tomatoes!”  Anime tears were falling from my eyes, and seeing that he wasn't going to let me go, I quickly opened their front door. “Miss Trisha help! Ed's gonna-!” my playful shout, however, was cut off at the sight before me and I let out a scream, dropping the basket.


Ed's glare and Al's smile instantly dropped, and they quickly rushed to my side. “Haley, what's wrong?” Ed asked, looking at me with a narrowed gaze.


“Are you all right?” Al asked as well, worry in his eyes.


I didn't answer them, I just rose a shaky hand pointed into the room, my eyes wide. Ed and Al looked at where I pointed, and their eyes widened with fear. Miss Trisha laid on the ground unconscious, a layer of sweat on her face. All around her were vegetables, and obvious sign that she had collapsed due to an unknown reason. My mouth was dropped open, not only because of the scream I gave off a few moments before, but because of that feeling that I had been feeling for the past couple of months.


“Mom,” Ed gasped, dropping the basket as he rushed to her side, kneeling down next to her. “Mom!”


Al did the same, his eyes wide and watering from fear. “Mom!” he shouted.


I stepped back, quickly remembering to get a hold of myself. “I'm going to get Grandma,” I announced, quickly running outside.


Adrenaline was pumping through my veins, my heart beating rapidly against my rib-cage. I knew I should have said something, but I was never sure what that feeling meant, and I could have just caused them their mother's life for all I knew! I knew that I wasn't really to blame, but the guilt attacked me either way and that only made me run faster, not caring for the pain in my legs or the lightheaded feeling I was getting from pushing my body so hard. But when I saw my house come into view, I instantly forgot about my problems and ran up to the small front porch.


“Grandma!” I shouted, throwing the door open, startling my poor grandmother. “Miss Trisha's sick!”


~*~*~*~


Grandma had immediately called a doctor, and from what he had said, Miss Trisha had been sick for a long time and never let anyone know about it. A few days had passed since the doctors visit, and her condition wasn't getting any better, which prompted the boys to write to their father. But considering they didn't know where he was, they wrote to the addresses their father had sent his letters from. It hurt to watch them do distraught, and I desperately wished that I was older and more experienced with my studies that maybe I could have been able to help her. I didn't want her to leave, I didn't want to see her and the boys suffer like this. I didn't want to see anymore people I cared about dieing...


However, on the day that they did sent the letters, it was already to late for their father to come home and help their mother get better. The doctor who had been staying over and watching her condition told us that she wouldn't make it past tonight. Many of Miss Trisha's friends came by and were sitting in the kitchen, having already talked to her and now it was only Ed, Al, Winry, Grandma, the doctor and I in the room with Miss Trisha. Ed and Al were holding her hand, tears in their eyes as they forced smiles onto their lips, hoping that the doctor was wrong.


“Your father, he left us...money,” Miss Trisha spoke up, her breathing becoming shallow and her eyes now half-lidded. “I never touched it, I was saving it for you boys; use it and take care of each other.”


Ed forced down his tears. “Don't be silly, we'll use it with you,” he said, his voice beginning to crack.


“Edward?” Trisha looked over at him, her gentle and tired smile appearing on her lips. “Would you be a sweetheart and transmute something for your mother? Yes I know, a ring of flowers would be nice.” Ed gasped slightly, his eyes widening as she saw her eyes begin to dull and start to close slowly. “You see, your father...always...use to make them for me...” she whispered and trailed off, her eyes closing and her grip on their hands fell.


~*~*~*~


The funeral was held a few days later, all of us dressed in black as we paid our respects to Trisha, dozens of white flowers littering her grave stone. People apologized to the boys before they would leave one by one before it was only the five of us left at the stone. But when the sun began to set and the sky was tinged with yellow, purple and orange, Winry, Grandma and I whispered our apologies to the boys as well. But as I began to follow after my sister and grandmother, I couldn't help but feel like I needed to stay just a few minutes with them, that feeling beginning to form in my chest once again. This time it hurt, and I had to know why, but I didn't let the boys know I was still here, so I hid behind the tree a good distance away from them and pressed my back against the rough bark, my eyes lowered to the ground.


“Brother, I'm hun-hungry and I'm cold, too,” Al spoke up, his voice shaking slightly as tears still fell down his face. “How are we gonna do this? How are we gonna live without her?”


“We're not, Al, we're going to bring her back,” Ed said firmly, yet softly.


Al stared up at Ed with confusion, while I stiffened with shock. I knew what he was talking about, and I looked over at Ed from behind the tree, my eyes wide. After hearing what Ed had said on the day that I found my parents were killed I looked up a Homunculus, which lead me to Human Transmutation. It was forbidden for a reason, mostly because those Homunculus were horrible creatures and the process to make one caused those who preformed it to either die or have missing limbs that would cause them to be disabled for life. Without even thinking I walked out from behind the tree, my eyes narrowed in determination. If they were going to preform Human Transmutation, then I was going to help as well. If I do it with them, then maybe I'll have something taken from me, something that will cause nothing to happen to the boys. If I can prevent either of them from dieing, then I was going to help them as much as I could.


“Then I'll help,” I spoke up, instantly gaining their attention.


Ed turned around sharply, his eyes widening slightly before he glared at me slightly, and I couldn't blame him for being mad at me for eavesdropping. “What are you doing here, Haley?” he asked, ignoring my statement completely.


I stood my ground, but I bit my lip out of habit. “I had a feeling that I should stay,and I was right. I want to help you two,” I said, not wavering under his stare.


“No,” Ed refused bluntly.


“I-I know it's not my place at all, I know she wasn't my mother but I still want to help.” I walked closer to them, but kept my distance, not wanting to cause Ed to be more uncomfortable than he already was. “I know how it feels to lose someone important, Ed, believe me, so I want to make sure that this will work,” I said, my blue eyes shining with hope.


Al swallowed thickly, a look of fear flashing through his eyes for a moment. “But Haley, what if you get hurt?” he asked, a silent plead in his voice to stop, especially when he didn't want Ed to do this either.


“And what if you two get hurt?” I rose an eyebrow at them, and when neither of them answered I crossed my arms. “Exactly, so shouldn't that be more of reason for me to help? If I help, then this will increase the chances of this working, right?” I asked, slowly starting to see this turning in my favor.


Ed shook his head, no sign of him breaking. “I said no, Haley, now go home.”


“But why?!” I asked, my mouth falling open in shock. “I want to help you! I promise I won't get in the way!”


“No!” Ed finally shouted, making me jump in surprise.


Al turned to him, frowning. “Brother...”


Ed ignored him, his golden eyes alight with anger and concern. “What would happen if something went wrong during the Transmutation, Haley? How would Aunt Pinako and Winry feel if you died? How would WE feel if you died because of us?” Any words of protest died in my throat at the mention them and my family, and I lowered my eyes guiltily towards the ground. “See, that more than enough reason for you NOT to help us, I'm sorry Haley, but you're not helping,” he said with finality, and when I looked up he wasn't backing down from this.


“Then...” I clenched my fists tightly by my side before facing his eyes once again. “Then at least let me help with the training, the measuring, gathering of the materials and stuff. You can at least let me do that right? An-and let me come to watch the Transmutation, if something goes wrong I could call for help or do something, okay? I...I just don't want anything to happen to you two...” I trailed off, my eyes burning.


A long silence fell over us, and my gaze never wavered, not even when Ed's glare fell as he sighed. “You really want to help, don't you?” he asked, looking completely exhausted by this whole situation.


“More than anything,” I stated firmly.


Ed closed his eyes, sighing in defeat. “Fine, you'll do everything else with us but the Human Transmutation, understand?” he asked, eyes narrowing once they opened.


A sigh of relief fell from my lips, my hand going to my rapidly beating heart as smile light my lips. I nodded happily, not noticing the frown that grew on Al's lips, fear in his eyes once again at the thought of the Transmutation. I ran towards Ed, pulling him into a tight hug, thanking him over and over again, promising I'll do everything that I can to make sure that the measurements were perfect and that I wouldn't slow them down. I would do anything for them, and I wanted them to know that, they were one of the most important people in my life and I wouldn't know what do without either of them. And when Ed hugged me back, I knew that it was a silent thank you that he didn't want to say out loud because of the fear he held.


~*~*~*~


Ed, Al and I sat in their basement, assorted books scattered around us. Some were opened to different pages that each regarded some kind of detail about Human Transmutation, while there were other sheets of paper in piles, obviously one of Hohenheim's old notes about the subject. Ed and I were reading single-minded about this one part of alchemy, while Al seemed to be on edge and very nervous. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him, this was obviously scaring him and neither Ed and I were being much help considering we were so hell bent on doing this.


Ed suddenly pointed towards a line in one of his father's papers. “Look, it's right here in his notes. I don't understand it all, but he's written something about Human Transmutations. If we could just decipher it...” he trailed off with a scowl on his lips, running an aggravated hand through his hair.


Al frowned worriedly. “But Aunt Pinako says human alchemy is forbidden, this book says the same thing,” he said holding up a book for emphasis.


Ed rolled his eyes at that. “Forget about that! If scientist could bring people back to life, we all know we'll be better off, right?” he asked, looking at Al and I, waiting for an answer from us.


I nodded, giving him a small smile. “Right,” I agreed whole-heartedly.


“Exactly.” Ed gave me a very small smile back before a familiar frown rested on his lips once again. “Alchemists tried for centuries and couldn't figure it out, slapping a 'forbidden' label on was just way for them not feel bad about their failure,” he said with a bit of disgust.


“Makes sense,” I mumbled.


Al frowned, looking at Ed and I with a concerned gaze. “But maybe we should ask Dad about it first!” he suggested nervously, desperately not wanting us to go through with this.


“Don't start with that junk again, Al,” Ed growled softly. “Mom's life drained away waiting for him, its all his fault she's dead!He didn't even come to her funeral.” He clenched his fists tightly over his knees, a hateful glare in his eyes before he turned his attention back to what was important. “Now this is something that Dad couldn't do, but we will. We have to,” he said in a whisper.


“And I'll help as much as I can,” I said firmly.


Ed only nodded, eyes narrowed down at the book in determination.


~*~*~*~One Year Later*~*~*~


We had gone through hell for the past year, but thanks to the knowledge we got from our teacher, we didn't care about the scars we now had on our bodies, mentally and physically. After coming back to Risembool, we immediately went to their house, all the materials already with us. We didn't let Grandma or Winry know that we were here, not wanting to delay the inevitable any further than we already had. We all sat in the basement of their house, the transmutation circle completed and the elements all counted for and measured, but I was having Ed and Al triple checking them just to make sure that everything was perfect.


When I gave him the go Ed nodded. “Water; 35 liters. Carbon; 20 kilograms. Ammonia; 4 liters. Lime; 1.5 kilograms. Phosphorus; 800 grams,” he said from memory perfectly, but what could you expect, he was the most hell bent on this than even me.


“Salt; 250 grams. Salt Peter: 100. Sulfur; 80. Fluorine; 7.5. Iron; 5. Silicon; 3 grams,” Al said after him.


“And trace amounts of fifteen other elements,” I said looking over the numbers once again before sighing in relief, a smile on my lips. “Yeah, that's everything.”


Ed let out a small smirk as he turned towards the transmutation circle, seeing the elements already in a pile at the center. “The physical elements of a human body, now if we just could put together a soul we should be able to call Mom back from the other side,” he said, his eyes dulling over ever so slightly as if he could already seeing their mother coming back.


“Edward, you sure we should do this?” Al asked, a tremor in his voice.


Ed turned to his younger brother with narrowed eyes. “Of course! Don't wimp out on me now,” he said turning his gaze down towards the elements.


“But no-ones ever done this right!” Al exclaimed, finally allowing the fear in his eyes to be shown, making me realize how completely terrified he was. “I mean alchemy's Equivalent Exchange; the body contents seem simple enough, but what about the soul?! What could we possibly offer?!”


“Just hold out your finger, okay?” Ed asked, grabbing his pocket knife.


I smiled at Al apologetically. “Al, I promise that this will be all right,” I said, my smile turning into a reassuring one, hoping to calm him down.


Al only nodded hesitantly.


Taking Al's finger Ed cut it before doing the same to himself. “What's a soul really? If you take out the myth it's just a spark that starts life.” They held their wounded finger over the elements, a single drop falling onto the pile. “This is our blood from her blood, that's a fair trade,” he said looking at Al, a confidence in his eyes that made any doubt in Al's mind quiet. But only for the time being.


Despite myself, I couldn't help but be nervous with Al as well. *It's finally time...* I thought in a mumble.


“Haley,” Ed called, breaking me from my thoughts. “Stand back, okay?”


I nodded, quickly taking my place at the basement doorway, but made sure to keep the boys in my line of vision. If anything bad happened, I was going to be right by their side in a second. Placing my hand onto the door frame I swallowed thickly, praying to whoever would listen that the boys would be all right during this, that everything that we hoped for would come true. Watching as the boys took their positions on the edge of the circle, they got to their knees and placed their hands on the circle, a golden light instantly filling the once dimly lit basement. A funnel of dark golden light appeared from the center of the circle, rising to the ceiling.


However, the beautiful ended as quickly as it had started. Red, black and purple lights began to coat the once golden aura that flooded the room. My eyes widened, feeling an evil quality filling the air instantly. Quickly looking at the boys I tried to move my legs to run to them to get them out of here, but my body wouldn't move. I watched and jumped as lightbulbs in the room began to break and books flipping open violently as the wind that managed to form inside the basement room blew strongly, whipping my hair around in front of my face, although I was still able to see what was happening clearly.


“Brother, somethings going wrong here!” Al shouted over the wind, turning to look at Ed.


Before Ed could respond Al's horrified  scream hit both of our ears, Al's scream so filled with fear that it shook me to the core. My eyes locked onto Al's body as Ed whipped is head around towards him, and both Ed and I stared with disbelief and shock. Al stared at his left arm, a black tentacle-like hand attached to it as his wrist seemed to suspend in thin air. Al's body was shaking, not knowing what to do, say or think about what was going on, only that this was the biggest mistake that they had ever done in their life. Nothing that we had thought could come out of this could explain why this was happening to him. However, Al let out another scream, more hands suddenly attaching themselves to his body and holding onto him tightly.


“Al!” Ed shouted, his eyes widening in fear.


Al was lifted off his feet, the tentacle-like hands gripping onto his skin firmly, not about to let go of him.  “Edward! Brother! Brother! Brother please!” he screamed desperately, tears streaming down his face as his body began to dematerialize, growing father and farther away from his older brother, his hand stretched out towards him.


“No, Al!” Ed screamed, desperately trying to rush towards him, his hand outstretched towards Al's.


Al let out a scream as the hands tugged him towards the Gate, and before Ed could grasp onto him, his body vanished completely. A blinding flash of light light the area as the Gate slammed shut, and before I could even wonder with my shocked and sluggish mind, Ed's pain-filled scream echoed through the whole house, it so loud it was as if he was screaming right into my ear. Hearing him in pain, hearing him scream like that scared me to no end, my body shaking even more than it had before. This wasn't suppose to happen, wasn't I suppose to be the one who was going to help them if something like this ever happened? Why...why was I just sitting here?


"Al..." Ed gasped, pain exploding around what was left of his left leg. "Alphonse say something...!” There was no answer. “Al, no! Stay with me!" He still heard nothing. "Dammit! This wasn't suppose to...ugh!" he shouted, gripping his leg as it burned with pain, the stump below his knees bleeding profusely.   


Hearing another pain-filled cry escape Ed's lips I slowly snapped out of my shocked and horrified stupor, turning towards Ed as I shakily crawled out from the doorway. I opened my mouth to call to him, but when I saw what had happened to his left leg a loud gasp escaped my lips, my eyes widening as tears instantly flooded them and spilled down my cheeks. Below Ed's left knee was nothing. His lower leg was gone, and blood coated the ground beneath him thickly with the red substance, and my hand rose to my lips, guilt and self-loathing filling me as I stared at him in horror. Ed was bleeding...he was hurt. And Al...where was he?! What happened to him?! ...Why didn't I move? ...Why didn't  I help...?


*Oh god...* I whispered in thought, knowing that if I tried to speak I would only scream.


“What...what have I done...? He's gone...” Ed clenched his teeth both in pain and guilt, but an arm moved out of his peripheral vision, instantly causing him to turn towards the transmutation circle that was now covered in a thick layer of smoke. “Mom? Is that you?” he asked with a hopeful smile stretching across his lips, seeing the arm waving at him as if it wanted him to come over.


I swallowed thickly, looking at Ed as I shook violently. "...E-Ed...?” I asked, finally having control over my voice, although it wasn't much.


When Ed didn't answer me I looked over shakily at where his eyes were transfixed, but at what I saw my stomach churned painfully, bile beginning to rush up my throat, but I swallowed it down despite how hard that was. Before us where Miss Trisha was suppose to be was something that wasn't even human. A disgusting, grotesque figure laid on the ground, have covered in skin while the other have showed organs, muscles, veins and blood which leaked out onto the floor in large quantities. My vision began to sway, the shock of all of this becoming too much for my body and mind to handle at once. And as I fell forward with the world blackening around me, the last thing I heard was Ed's frightened scream.


~*~*~*~


When I came to, I was expecting to still be in the basement with the boys, not in my house. At first I was hoping that everything that happened not even an hour before had been nothing but a dream, that none of what I saw even happened. But when I looked around I saw a man in a tall suit of armor, and I soon came to realize that the man was Al, Ed taking his soul and binding it to that body. Ed wasn't any better his right arm was gone and his chest and stomach covered in bandages, blood starting to seep through the binding. These boys were so broken, and I just sat back and watched it happen...


I didn't hear any questions directed at me, not because I didn't want to answer but because I didn't trust myself to speak again, knowing I would break down if I even tried. I was sitting on the edge of the Ed's bed, watching him as he slept, the guilt radiating off of me in waves as the pain in my chest seemed to grow more and more that it was even starting to hurt to breathe. Tears were beginning to form on the edges of my eyes, but I didn't let any fall, how could I cry and act like a victim when I came out of that completely unscathed? Ed and Al...how could they ever forgive me for doing nothing?


Winry frowned at my silent form, my broken gaze never leaving Ed's unconscious form. “We didn't even know you were back from training, how did all this happen, Al?” she asked as she turned back to look up at Al, confusion in her eyes.


“Well, clearly it's a product of mischief!” Grandma snapped, her eyes narrowing. “You were trying to bring back your mother, weren't you?!” she asked, disappointment easily heard in her tone.


Al looked down, a frown easy to see on his metal lips.


Grandma turned away from him and turned her sharp gaze onto me. “And what about you, Haley?” I flinched at the icy tone in her voice when she said my name. “How could you let these boys go through with something like this?! You saw what they went through, they could have been killed!” she shouted angrily at me, but I didn't try to protest to say it wasn't my fault because that was a lie, I knew I deserved it.


I lowered my gaze to the floor, my hands gripping the white blankets tightly, tears falling from my eyes. Why didn't I help?! Why did I make myself move?! Why did I freeze up like that?! They could've been both dead right now and it would have been all my fault! How could I let something like this happen?! This was all of my fault, if I had just DONE something then they wouldn't be in this state! Al's body would still be here, Ed wouldn't be hurt and that...that THING wouldn't have been created! ...This was all of my fault.


“Well that explains a few things; a Human Transmutation,” a new voice mused.


All of us looked up, our heads turning towards the door that we didn't hear open. Standing in the doorway was a man in a military uniform. The man had black hair and black eyes, and I had to say that he was roughly in his mid-twenties. However, I didn't regard him anymore than that, turning my gaze onto Ed once  again, not caring for this man mostly because of his obvious role in the military. The people that sent my parents away to their graves.


“I've never seen such a furious reaction before, pardon me,” the man said as he closed the door, holding up a silver pocket watch, showing his status as a State Alchemist.


Al looked at the watch, surprised and confused. “A State Alchemist...?”


Grandma, however, showed her confusion in a different way. “What are you doing here? I have no time to entertain Dogs, can't you see these boys are hurt?” she asked with anger and disgust, a glare in her eyes as she watched the man walk further into the room.


“Take it easy, ma'am, I'm just checking the mail,” the man said,  grabbing and holding up a letter.


Al gasped, stepping forward at the sight of the familiar envelope. “One of our letters! Do you know where my dad is?” he asked, hope filling his voice.


The man sighed. “I only wish, Kid. We've been looking for Hohenheim for a long time and we're still only kicking up dirt,” he said with a frustrated and defeated tone in his voice, eyes narrowing just at the thought of it.


“Well, if you didn't have any information, why did you come?” Grandma asked, not bothering to be polite to a 'Dog'. “You sure as heck aren't going to find their dad here.”


“Lets call it nostalgia or misplaced curiosity,” the man said as he turned towards Ed, not seeming to care for the heated, watery glare that was sent to him by me. There was no way he was going to enlist Ed into that death trap. “Whatever it was I'm happy I came, if these boys can try Human Alchemy and survive their dad just dropped a rung on my priority list.”


My glare only deepened at the sound of that, my fingers turning white.


The glare in Grandma's eyes seemed to cause the room to chill. “I want you out of this house immediately! I've had enough lives wrecked by the State!” she snapped venomously.


The man didn't seem to take any offense at Grandma's anger and casually walked towards the door. “The names Lt. Colonel Roy Mustang, State Alchemist. Pay me a visit at Central sometime,” he said as he opened the door and walked out, the door closing behind him.


~*~*~*~


The next day had come by in a blur and before I knew it Ed was awake once again. All of us were with the boys, watching as Grandma re-bandaged Ed's wounds, and I couldn't help but look away in guilt when I saw the wound on his right shoulder. The old bandages laid on the floor, blood coating them thickly and I bit my lip, feeling the burning sensation form behind my eyes once again. Many times I've felt like crying, but I always stopped them, never feeling as if I had a right to.


“There's some money in the house; in a closet,” Ed said softly, his voice shaking with slight pain.


Grandma didn't look up as she continued to wrap him in gauze. “I'm sure it's safe, there's more important things to worry about right now,” she said, a frown on her lips.


“That's not what I'm saying, I want you to take it as payment. For automail.” Ed shook his head, ignoring Grandma as she stopped wrapping him up, tensing.  “I can't go through my plan lugging around a couple of stumps, I'm gonna visit that man Mustang and become a State Alchemist,” he said with determination.


“I was hoping you weren't conscious to hear that talk,” Grandma said as she finished, stepping back.


Ed looked down at the bed, eyes narrowing. “He's no the only one I've heard from; the teacher we had told us about State Alchemists. They've got access to the Federal Library in Central with books on alchemy no-one else has. They'll pay you and fund your research, and those pocket watches amplify alchemic reactions,” he said, his mind already reeling with thoughts about what could be there in those libraries that could help him and Al.


“Please tell me that's not all your teacher said.” Grandma pulled her pipe out of her mouth, frowning deeply. “What about State Alchemists being the Military's attack dogs called into war to mow down the lives of people the State tells you are bad?! Did your teacher mention that?! In the attacks that took the lives of my sons' there were alchemists involved! When war comes again are you ready to do the same?” she asked seriously, and I looked over at Ed, wondering the same thing, although not as harshly.


“I don't wanna be chained to the State anymore than you,” Ed said, however he didn't look up at her to meet her gaze. “But I'll do whatever it takes to fix things.”


“Fix you, or the world? Make sure you ask yourself that,” Grandma advised with a defeated sigh.


~*~*~*~


Grandma, Winry and I were in the operating room, dressed in Surgeon gowns as Ed sat in pain on the table, wires connecting to his nerves causing grunts to spill from his lips. I was surprised, after so many years of me being able to come into the operating room to keep close watch on the patients, most would be screaming their lungs out. However, I continued to watch over Ed as he bit his lip to keep from screaming, jumping to get away from the pain when a nerve would connect, sending searing pain to shoot up either his shoulder or leg. I kept him hydrated, and wiped wiped away the layer of sweat that dripped down his face to keep him cool and at the very least, comfortable.


“Just bare with us Ed, this is the highest quality procedure we can do,” Winry said as Ed jump violently again as she worked on his leg, but stopped when she looked at the door. “Stay out of the room Al!”


Al guiltily shut the door quickly, his eyes having widened considerably.  


Grandma stared at Ed, wiping away the sweat from her brow. “I'm impressed Ed, even adults scream in tis part of the operation, we're attaching each one of your nerves to the mechanism,” she explained, a look of surprise on her face.


Ed clenched his teeth, wincing. “This pain is nothing...compared to what he's given up,” he whispered.


*Ed, Al...* I thought as I looked down, biting my lip. *I'm so sorry...*


~*~*~*~


Months had gone by since the operation, Ed training every day to get use to moving with his new limbs to stop from throwing up blood. Those months of training paid off, him being able to spar with Al with ease now, unlike before when he would collapse due to the pain. Today was one of those days where he and Al would spar, and I would come along to make sure that he would be all right, however I knew that I wasn't needed, but ever since that night I wouldn't be too far away from the boys, scared that I'll never see them again.


“It's been enough time, we should see what we can do,” Al said as he saw Ed and I walking over to him.


Ed smirked at is straightforwardness and kept walking, while I stood a good distance away. “To train the mind to it's full potential you gotta train the body, that's what our teacher said. But I don't know, how good could you be as an empty heap of steel?” he chuckled as he looked up at his younger brother.


A smirk was easy to see on Al's face. “Better than a couple chunks of automail, I know that.”


Ed smirked as he chuckled again at the retort, but quickly went into a stance, throwing his fist toward Al's face, only for his younger brother to catch it. Jumping back for a second Ed narrowed his eyes, going all out as he sent a high kick towards Al, while his younger brother brought up his arms, blocking the attack before pushing Ed away. Flipping over into the are Ed landed in a crouch before kicking off towards him, but Al swung his arm around, making Ed block with his right arm, causing his feet to slide across the ground.


“Brother, are you serious about being a State Alchemist?” Al asked watching Ed jump back.


Ed ran towards him, throwing another punch. “I'm serious about trying, I'm gonna see this Mustang guy and find out if I have a shot," he said determinedly, his lips set in a thin line.


“I don't want you to join,” Al mumbled, watching as Ed flipped over him.


Ed ducked from a punch and sent a kick towards Al's chest plate. “I've made up my mind,” he said, catching his balance as Al brought up his hands to block once again.


“Then I will, too,” Al said as he blocked a punch.


Ed jumped away from a kick, eyes narrowing. “You can't!” he said firmly.  


Al ignored that, looking down at the ground now. “Brother, are you going to try to bring back Mom again? I mean we agreed it was a mistake, right? All the bad things that happened. I'll become the State Alchemist, and I'll find a way to get you back to normal, with a real arm and leg again. Then you can forget about all these other things you say you have to do,” he said as he looked at Ed, eyes easily conveying the sadness that he felt for his brother.


“It's not your burden to carry, Al,” Ed said stiffly, his expression never changing.


Al stepped forward, a look of desperation in his red eyes. “And why shouldn't it be? I wanted you to stop, but I went along with it anyway! I'm the one who had the feeling, I should've acted on it! And then you gave up your arm to save me-!”


Ed didn't let him him finish, jumping towards his little brother and during his distracted state sent a kick to his head, sending Al into the river beside them. “You've got no place feeling sorry for me, Al, okay?” he asked with a small smile as he straightened up and walked into the water, helping Al out.


“But Brother...” Al mumbled as he once again sat on the solid ground.


Ed shook his head. “I'm serious, I'm the one who has to fix things and get your body back,” he frowned.


Al stopped for a second, looking at the ground. “Then...you won't try with Mom again?” he asked, looking into his brother's eyes, his tone hopeful.


Ed looked off to the side, a sad smile on his lips. “Well, chances are there isn't anything in this world we could trade for Mom's soul, and besides all that I don't...I don't want to risk losing you again, Al,” he said, and despite the smile the fear was easy to see.  


Al nodded. “Good, I'll have to come with you,”


“Hey, I'm coming with you two, too,” I said bringing their attention to me.


Ed looked in shock, looking between both Al and I. “And why's that?” he asked, his eyes wide.


Al let out a chuckle, the smirk appearing again in his voice. “You're no good without us, you'd just turn into a jerk,” he said, and I let out a small laugh of my own.


“Thanks for the endorsement,” Ed said sarcastically, deflated.


“But seriously, we're all we've got,” Al said with a frown as his voice began to crack slightly, his eyes looking into Ed's. “From now on we can't do anything that could pull us apart.”


Ed couldn't argue with that, and we all were determined to see this through to the end. To make things right again. That night Ed and Al burned down their childhood home with all the familiar things inside. I watched with a sad gaze, watching the house that had so many good memories, and too many bad ones. All the pictures that they held dear to them were gone as the house was engulfed in flames. But I guess some memories weren't mean to leave traces.


~*~*~*~*~


http://s373.photobucket.com/a lbums/oo174/AnimeSpaz/?action=view&current=Hailey_Rockbell_FMA_Ed.png - This is you and what you wear, but you have shorts underneath your dress and you wear brown boots. You also have a black flamel on the back of your button up shirt.


~*~*~*~*~


Ending it here! I hope you all liked it! Bye!
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