Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ The Journey Within ❯ Imperfect Body ( Chapter 3 )

~I do not own our favorite pint-sized alchemist or any of his friends, but I certainly wished that I did. That way, I wouldn't have to put up any disclaimers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Journey Within

Chapter 3- The Strain of Silence

 

 

 

Finishing up her repairs on Ed's arm, Winry quickly packed up her things and all but ran out of the workshop that was adjacent to the Pinako's barn. Ed barely had enough time to turn his head before all he could see of her was her blonde ponytail streaming out behind her as she fled through the open door.

 

Once outside, Winry slowed her pace, shuffling her feet and absently kicking at the grass as she walked.

 

`Why can't I stay put when Ed is nice to me? He was just trying to be nice, for ONCE, and I run out of there like my hair's on fire.'

 

Stopping to kick the seeds off of a dandelion, she scowled.

 

`But then again, it's not like I had any notice he was going to be a nice guy for once…I just know that Fullmetal Jerk likes to keep me on my toes like that.'

 

Slowly, Winry turned back to the workshop. Every fiber in her body tensed as she waited for Ed to come barreling out the doors, screaming at her for leaving him hanging, half naked…well, maybe not the half naked part.

 

But it never came. All Winry saw were the birds chirping in the trees, and the sun slowly sinking further into the sky.

 

`Figures…'

 

Turning her back on the workshop, she started back towards the house, head downcast.

 

`And yet, I know I'll always be here, waiting for him to come back to Rizamboul. And even though I try, I know I will always let him come back.'

 

Suddenly, it hit her. The tears that had silently been forming slowly started to slip down her porcelain cheeks. Halfway from the workshop to the house, she sank to her knees in the middle of the dusty path and let the tears fall. The realization of her pain seemed to cut through her like a blade.

 

`I can never stop loving him, no matter how much it kills me inside.'

 

 

 

 

 

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With a dejected sigh, he let his head fall back onto the table with a resounding THUMP, arms stretched out over his head, and his own golden ponytail falling off to one side. And he let his head fall again, and again, and again; each time the THUMP echoing off the walls of the silent workshop.

 

THUMP.

 

THUMP.

 

`I can't fuckin' do anything right. First that wonderful display of hormones in the front room, then that lovely incident in the kitchen, and now when I try to say thanks for being there for me she bolts faster than Mustang can put the moves on a new female officer.'

 

THUMP.

 

`Still being all sorts of cool, aren't you, Ed?'

 

THUMP.

 

Slowly pulling himself up off the wooden table, Ed swung his feet around and let his legs hang off the edge. The cold, unyielding metal of his left leg made a dull thwack as it hit the side of the table, and his brows furrowed.

 

`Such an imperfect body…no wonder she ran. Probably couldn't stand to look at me anymore, let alone stomach the knowledge of how I got these damned limbs in the first place.'

 

Letting his hands lay palms down next to his sides, the winced as a small splinter worked its way into the flesh of his left hand. Bringing the hand to his face, a small trickle of blood ran from the middle of his palm. His eyes widened slightly.

 

`Hum must've been a bigger splinter than I thought.'

 

Glancing at his right arm, Ed's expressive, golden eyes sprang open fully when he saw the rather large chunk of wood embedded in his right forearm; unknowingly lodged rather deep into the cool metal. In an instant, his look of shock turned to one of anger. Quickly, he reached over and yanked the offending wood out of his arm, smearing a bit of blood from his left hand across the shining metal. Angrily flinging it across the room, Ed's eyes closed as a shudder left his body.

 

`How can I blame her for not loving me when I can't even bleed?'

 

He absently rubbed the remaining blood off of his arm onto his shirt, his eyes cracked open.

 

`But this is my punishment. This is my punishment because of what I did.'

 

The late afternoon sun began to shine through the windows of the workshop, filling the room with an orange glow.

 

`And this is why I deserve to be alone.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few weeks later…

 

 

 

Winry sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Pushing an errant hair behind her ear, she sighed again.

 

`Listen, girly, you can't let this keep bothering you. Ed is going to be a stubborn ass no matter what you do, and nothing you've done so far as helped. Just let him go.'

 

She frowned, and produced a very unladylike snort.

 

`Fullmetal Jerk.'

 

Setting down the automail arm she was working on, Winry forced a chipper smile, and turned to the younger Elric on her right.

 

“How's it goin' Al, are you understanding how to put that upper arm together ok?”

 

Al gave a slight shrug, and continued to work steadily on the appendage in front of him, his eyes never leaving the massive tangle of wires and metal springs. Winry felt her gaze harden at Al's lack of response, but quickly softened. Since the Elric Brother's return a few weeks back and once the few awkward moments had taken place, the lives of the three childhood friends had fallen into a routine; uncomfortable as it was.

 

Every day, before the sunrise, Ed would get up, go outside and do…whatever it was that he did. No one really knew where it was that he headed. But he always returned in the middle of the afternoon, and would then help Granny with whatever she needed that day.

 

Some days he would fix broken items around the house, and other days he would weed out her extensive garden. Meanwhile, Al and Winry would busy themselves in the shop and work on orders to be filled for customers. Winry found her suspicions of Al to be an exceptionally quick learner to be true, and he used his alchemy talents and newfound automail skills to help her in the shop. At dinnertime, everyone would assemble for the first time all day. Winry and Granny would do most of the talking, while Al would add in a comment or two. Ed, however, would remain silent, as he did all day, every day. After everyone had their fill, Winry would clear the table while Al and Granny would go sit in the front room for the remainder of the evening. And as always, Ed would immediently go upstairs to study more Alchemy by candlelight. On occasion, Al would join him, but mostly it was Ed toiling away in solitude.

 

And that's the way it was. Days turned to weeks, and as the weeks began to turn into months, Winry began to feel the strain of silence more and more. Sitting at her place around the dinner table, she tried not to let the displeasure shadow her face. But the scowl that permeated her pretty features could not be undone. Stabbing her fork at the pork chops in front of her, the memories of Ed's elusiveness ran through her head.

 

`What a jerk, just sitting there…doesn't he care that his silence is driving the rest of us mad?!'

 

Looking up from her food to send Ed a glare, and seeing him just picking at his food, all of the pent up anger and frustrations met their breaking point, and Winry exploded.

 

“DAMNIT, ED!”

 

The two surprised faces of Granny and Al turned to look quizzically at her, but the one whose attention she really wanted continued to look placidly at his dinner plate.

 

“For pity's sake, EDWARD, you'd better LOOK at me when I'm talking to you, it's the least you can do!”

 

Ed's bangs shifted back as his head tilted up just enough so that Winry could see a glimmer of his golden eyes. Sensing that was all of a reaction she was going to get out of him, Winry slammed a balled up fist onto the table, making the dishes rattle.

 

“Why are you always moping around here all the time? Would it really kill you to say hi to me once in a while, or to even acknowledge that I exist?! Never mind that you're fucking ignoring your little brother, too……OUCH! Granny that hurt!”

 

“Mind your language, dear.”

 

Rubbing her sore scalp from the whack of Granny's spoon, Winry felt the growing knot on the crown of her head. And as Ed continued to pick at his food across from her, a sad realization dawned on the blue-eyed automail mechanic.

 

`Oh Ed, I'm so sorry…I just don't know what else to do. I'm tired of hurting, and I'm tired of chasing after what I can never have. I need to let you go, even if it kills me. I just don't know what to do anymore.'

 

A few tears gathered in her crystal eyes, as her chin quivered.

 

`Forgive me.'

 

Standing slowly, she continued, eyes fixated on the silent Ed.

 

“Consider yourself relieved of any obligations you feel towards me. I've tried to forget what I feel for you, what I've felt for so long…”

 

At Winry's blunt confession, Al and Granny took that it as their cue to quietly leave the room. Seeing them move to leave the kitchen, Winry paused until they had exited. Nervously pushing a strand of hair behind her ear and furiously blinking back more tears that threatened to fall she continued, the calmness of her own voice startling her.

 

“Ed, I love you. I always have. But I can't do this anymore. I can't live with the pain of knowing you're out there hurting, and I can do nothing for you. I think it's better if I just forget about you. That way, we both can get on with our lives.”

 

Desperately trying to without the sobs that were building, Winry stepped out from her place at the table, and with trembling hands pushed her chair back into its place.

 

“Go back to Central, Ed, you no longer have any obligations here.”

 

She shuddered, and a cursed sob escaped her lips.

 

“Maybe then, I can start to forget about loving you.”

 

And with that she bolted, right past Granny and Al who were just outside the door, through the front room, up the stairs, and shook the house as she slammed her bedroom door behind her. Flinging herself onto her bed, Winry let her heart pour out, in a way she hadn't since she learned of her parents death.

 

Had she not bolted after her confession, Winry might have seen the look of horror on Ed's face, as he realized the implications of her speech. She might have noticed how his slender frame shook, and maybe she would have seen the silent tears fall from his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As night continued to blacken the sky, Granny and Al sat in the front room, wordlessly spending the rest of the evening in the company of each other. As Granny whittled a new pipe from her rocking chair, Al lay in front of the fire, curled up with an Alchemy book.

 

And while neither dared say it out loud, a casual glance to the kitchen would confirm each other's worries time and again. The gentle chimes from the old clock in the hall every hour only helped cement their worries.

 

Flipping a page in his rather thick textbook, Al stole his thousandth peak at the kitchen, silently praying that Ed would manifest himself in the doorway, proclaiming loudly, “I am going to tell Winry how much I love her!” And with a terrific bound, he would leap up the stairs into her waiting arms.

 

And everything would be ok again.

 

But as midnight dew near, he could feel the wear of the day creeping up on him, and still Ed had not left the kitchen. Granny had long since trudged up the stairs to bed, and Al had long ago finished his book. But he could not force himself to either go upstairs, or check on Ed in the room next door.

 

Quite frankly, Al was afraid to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope you like it!

 

Much love,

The Cerulean Alchemist