Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ The Newbies ❯ Chapter 5

“Ouch!”

“Hold still. I'm only trying to help.” Lust, for some reason the member of the group most medically-endowed, pulled the bands a little tighter. “I swear Unpatriotism. You're such a klutz.” She finished wrapping and tied. “How do you sprain your ankle by stepping on a bottle?”

“When it broke and slipped out from under me…”

“Yeah?”

“My foot stayed on the outside piece of glass, and my leg fell inwards.”

“Hmmm. Well, you should probably stay in your room. You should have anyway, you know.” she paused to look quizzically at the girl. “What were you doing out, anyway? Looking for your favorite bishonen?”

“No, I was, uh…I was exploring.”

“Exploring. Riiiiight.” Lust walked to the door and shut it behind her, leaving Unpatriotism and Fickle alone in the room. She walked down the hall around, around, around the circular hub of the building until she found the kitchen and hopped onto the counter. “So, how're things with Ed?”

Envy looked up from his tuna salad, a fork hanging from his mouth. “Well, I succeeded in hypnotizing him, and now things are great.”

“Good for—wait, hypnotizing him?”

“Yes. He used to be in love Winry, remember? We simply can't have that…” Envy reached into his pocket and pulled out a soap-on-a-rope. “He's asleep in our room. The little darling.” Putting the fork back into the tuna salad, he turned to Lust. “So how's Unpatriotism? Catty?” he transformed into Fickle. “Stubborn?” now a donkey sat on the kitchen floor. “Or maybe she's accepted it like a good little girl?” he changed into a rosy-faced, giggling five-year-old in her best church dress and whacked Lust with his—oops, her giant lollipop.

“I think she's actually going to get along pretty well. Her memories being intact may actually be a good thing. But something funny is going on between her and Wrath.”

“Really?” asked Envy. A pair of turtledoves perched on Lust's shoulder. “Oh, this is wonderful. Young love…” They chorused. Lust swatted at them.

“No! He brought her in, remember? And they were both acting so weird about it. Not love. More like…oh, I don't know. Maybe they're becoming friends or…” She paused and cocked her head. “I think Ed is waking up.”

“You'd be right,” replied Envy. He balanced the bowl across the small of his back and transformed again, sauntering out of the room. “a leopard can't change her spots, Lust,” he called over his furry shoulder. “once a fangirl, always a fangirl. Oh, Edwaaaaard……”

“Pfft.” said Lust. “Envy's crazy.” She picked up the jar of peanut butter that was always left out, a spoon, and left the house. Outside, she crossed into the next building over, an abandoned barn. A steady rhythm sounded louder and louder as she got closer.

TAK-TAK-TAK BOOM

BOOM

TAK-TAK-TAK BOOM

BOOM

TAK-TAK—

The rhythm stopped as she entered the barn and its cause turned to face her. Lust turned and walked out, allowing the man to follow her back over the threshold. He sat down beside her after bowing at the door to the barn and took the jar and spoon.

“What belt are you?” she asked.

“Black. 3rd degree black; it took me ten years.”

“What art?”

“Jujitsu,” he said, staring off into space. “And then you brought me here. Why?”

“I told you, the U. S. Senate made a new law that there are now ten Deadly Sins. So we had to keep up.”

“Why did you get me, a wrinkled old sensei who hates manga?”

“Because the last sin was Illegal Immigration. Which you did…”

“I came from Japan to America to get away from anime, to leave my life as a teacher to a bunch of snot-nosed otaku. Then I get sucked into the very thing I despise….” He stuck the whole spoon in his mouth and started chewing.

“Why do you hate anime so much, Imm. Sensei?”

“Because it's anatomically incorrect. I can't stand an art form that totally disregards the human structure for no good reason. Aesthetics…pah!” He dug around in the jar for more peanut butter. “It's empty.”

Lust got up from where she'd been sitting and started for the library. “You should come back for dinner, at least, and meet the others. All you've been doing is training since you got here.”

“I'll think about it.”

“Okie-dokie then….” she replied, opening the door.

TAK-TAK-TAK BOOM

BOOM

TAK-TAK-TAK BOOM

BOOM

She shook her head. “Pfft.” said Lust. “Ill. Imm. Sensei is crazy…”