Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ The Point of No Return ❯ The Point of No Return ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: I was on FFN last night, hoping to find some good POTO fics. What did I come up with? Nothing. “Raoul-bashing in here” “I don't like Raoul, so let's bash him…” WTF??? I don't get it, what's not to love about Raoul? He's handsome, he's kind, and he'll go to any length to get his woman! *sigh* What's so great about the Phantom, huh? He's twisted and a bit deranged, not some sex god whom Christine secretly lurves. If she lurved him, why did she pick Raoul in the end, huh? She could've easily let him die! >.> Damn… Anyway… that inspired me to write a POTO songfic… Royai pairing, pre-Ed, hence the different military ranking titles. Please read and review.

 

Disclaimer: I picked one of the world's most original titles, I know. Hey, it's a songfic, I can't help it! So these don't belong to me: The fic title, the song “The Point of No Return”, or FMA. But I do own several Phantom-esque pics that I drew of Roy and Riza dancing to this song… ^^

 

 

 

*~*~*The Point of No Return*~*~*

by crazykitsune17

 

 

 

 

“Sir, it's getting late. You need to do your work; those are very important papers that need to be signed and returned to the Fuhrer by Wednesday.”

 

Roy looked up from his papers at his desk and saw Riza Hawkeye frowning in the middle of the doorway. She had her hair neat as usual, but it was limply falling into her eyes - the usual sign that it had been a long day at work. It had been long for the lieutenant colonel, too: no action and nothing to do but sit and stare at paperwork he kept telling himself to do tomorrow. The stack had grown quite large by 6:00.

 

“Yeah, I know,” Roy said curtly, picking up a pen and doodling his name at the bottom of a sheet of monogrammed paper. He set it aside and picked up the next sheet. The words were blurry. He put his pen down and rubbed his temples.

 

“So… are you going to do it?” Riza asked, her eyebrow rising.

 

“Yeah. Later. I'll do it tomorrow.” He set a paperweight on top of his gigantic stack and shrugged into his jacket, yawning. “Let's go home, Second Lieutenant.”

 

Riza sighed. There was no point in ordering him to sit back down and just do his work, after all, he ranked higher than she did, and she could lose her job. But honestly, how hard is it to just scribble on some paperwork? He knows how to read, and he knows how to write, it shouldn't take him more than an hour! That's not as much overtime as some of the people in Investigations get!

 

“Fine, sir,” she conceded, grabbing her own jacket off a hook nearby and locking the lieutenant colonel's door behind her. Roy smiled, feeling as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his back - the stifling atmosphere of his office, especially when it was swamped with paperwork, always made him feel congested, and whenever he heard that door click, the feeling of being caught in a pressure chamber instantly evaporated.

 

Silently, Roy and Riza walked down the long hallway to the main entrance, their shoes clacking as they strutted in a very businesslike manner until they stopped at the double-door. There, they parted ways with a nod and two hidden smiles. Roy adjusted his collar and walked home alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maes Hughes leaned against Roy's desk and grinned. “It's Friday night, Roy,” he said, his golden eyes sparkling. “You gonna go out and get yourself a wife?”

 

Roy rolled his eyes and cupped his chin in his hand. “Not tonight, Maes. I still have work to do.”

 

“Never stopped you before.”

 

Roy's voice dropped to something light and airy. “Yeah…” he breathed. His eyes misted over with a glassy sheen and turned slightly grey. “I…” He searched his brain for an excuse. “I don't know. You have fun with Gracia by yourself tonight, Maes. I don't think I'll come with you.”

 

Roy's friend stopped, a concerned look in his eyes. He pushed his glasses and felt Roy's forehead like a protective mother over her son. “You feeling all right? You'd really rather stay here and do work than go out, get drunk, and flirt with the hot girls from East?”

 

A tiny hint of a smile passed Roy's lips, and no more was said. Maes left his office, shrugging and wondering if there really was something wrong with his friend.

 

Once the door closed, Roy's smirk grew wider, and he called Riza into his office.

 

“Yes, sir?” She was always prompt to his summons.

 

“Did you want to go out tonight for a while? It's Friday.”

 

Riza smiled. “Sure.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Past the point

of no return -

no backward glances:

the games we've played

till now are at

an end . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roy was just content with staying at a diner near Central, eating and watching Riza. Of course, the second lieutenant couldn't help but ask questions…

 

“Sir? May I ask you something?”

 

“Sure. And you don't need to call me sir while we're here,” Roy added as an afterthought. Riza sheepishly showed her teeth and blushed.

 

“I'm sorry. I'm not used to this. We've never been out like this before. My question is… why now?”

 

Roy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He wasn't really sure why himself. It had been a spur of the moment thing; the words just came out of his mouth. Let's go out, Riza. For no reason at all… A wave-like feeling crashed around in his stomach, and he licked his lips, pondering on how to answer. There was silence for a long time.

 

“Or… you don't have to answer right now if you don't want to.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roy laid the tip down on the table and got up from his chair, scraping the legs against the hardwood flooring. He grabbed Riza's jacket and helped her shrug into it, and the two of them smiled. He was still holding Riza's shoulders.

 

The touch of his hands was warm and comforting.

 

Riza moved closer to him and let the lieutenant colonel stare into her rosy face. Smiles are beautiful… People really should do it more often… Roy heeded his own advisory thoughts and spread his lips serenely. You are so beautiful…

 

I want… I want to tell her that…

 

Roy fought with himself, struggling to say the complimentary words. Instead, he gripped Riza's shoulders tighter and steered her out of the diner, stopping to allow her to take a few mints from the basket at the counter.

 

Just as they were about to walk out the door, the resistance barrier broke, and the words began to spill from Roy's mouth under the jingling bells announcing their departure.

 

“You are so beautiful, Riza.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Past all thought

of "if" or "when" -

no use resisting:

abandon thought,

and let the dream

descend . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

And more came:

 

“Did you… want to stay over at my place for a while?”

 

Riza paused. Coming from the lieutenant colonel, this was surely an invitation to have sex. She had heard the stories. She had heard Maes and Roy's banter about what they did on those rowdy Friday nights. Roy's tales were usually more interesting since it was a different girl each time, whereas Maes always stuck with Gracia, but after every weekend, all of the other men would gather around and hear enticing tales of sweet weekend love.

 

This goes against my better judgment… but I can't say no…

 

“Sure.”

 

The two hooked arms, and Roy led the way through the dark streets to his house nearby. The night sky was black, but it was warm and the stars offered just enough light to illuminate the expressions of serenity and happiness adorning the two partners' faces. No disturbances ruptured the perfect evening walk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roy flicked the lamps on and hung up Riza's coat next to his own. He smiled as the two identical black jackets touched fabric, and he reached out to touch them. Light, thick leather. He turned around.

 

“What?”

 

“Let's go in.”

 

Hesitantly, Riza took a seat on the couch, leaning back and missing the feel of Roy's hand in hers. She spread her fingers across the softness of the sofa, but it wasn't the same. The warm feeling of the lieutenant colonel's strong hand was still noticeably absent, and it bothered her.

 

Roy sat down next to her, and he was at a loss for what to say. Normally, he could deliver an impressive monologue to anybody who cared to listen, but now he couldn't even start up a simple conversation with a friend.

 

Are we friends? I don't even know… What does she think of me?

 

Only one way to find out…

 

“What do you think of me?” Roy cringed at how stupid and teenage-like he sounded, but Riza paid no mind to his grimace and put on a thinking face.

 

Being evasive, she questioned back, “What do you mean?”

 

“I…”

 

Roy's shoulders drooped down as he realized that there was too much stall time for him to make up a good answer anymore. His charisma had failed him. A plug went out in his confidence. What do I say?

 

Riza spared him from answering.

 

“I really like you, Roy.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What raging fire

shall flood the soul?

What rich desire

unlocks its door?

What sweet seduction

lies before

us . . .?

Past the point

of no return,

the final threshold -

what warm,

unspoken secrets

will we learn?

Beyond the point

of no return . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the third time that night, Roy plowed through his own mental barriers and kissed Riza. The kiss was different from all the other sweet lip-massages he had received from other girls: it was warm. There was no chilly, sharp taste of cold artificial lipstick, no taste of fake affection. Roy felt like he was being kissed for the first time.

 

This is real…

 

Instinctively, Riza twisted herself around on the couch and leaned further back so that her head was at the base of the armrest. Her feet were dangling off the edge, and Roy was still pressed to her. She felt her body became flooded with heat, and she quickly grasped the lieutenant colonel's back, physically imploring him never to leave.

 

She couldn't breathe. Her chest heaved up and down, trying to inhale and exhale, but the love was too powerful. Roy's dark hair was touching her cheek. Riza wanted to moan, but suffocation precluded that.

 

Why have we never done this before…?

 

I love you…

 

I can't speak, but I love you…

 

Riza struggled to tilt herself upright as they broke away, and her darkened face was covered by a blush. Crimson instead of salmon lit her cheeks, and Roy's eyes had reverted to soft, espresso brown. She swore she could see “love”.

 

Love may be abstract… but here, I can see it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You have brought me

to that moment

where words run dry,

to that moment

where speech

disappears

into silence,

silence . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

Imagination swept over the room, and the two found themselves in a fantasy world of red, gold, and black, surrounded by all the things that made them happy. The images kept changing and shifting as moods ascended and intensified. Light pink changed to shaded, dark crimson. Cotton became velvet, and bright became dim. But no matter how much the room changed, two persons did not.

 

I imagine… I wish…

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have come here,

hardly knowing

the reason why . . .

In my mind,

I've already

imagined our

bodies entwining

defenceless and silent -

and now I am

here with you:

no second thoughts,

I've decided,

decided . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another kiss enveloped them, and all color was shut out. A slippery tongue seeped through parted lips, and there were no objections. I want… I want…

 

I want you, Roy.

 

I don't know why.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Lots of rumors are going around, Roy. Come on, you can sort out the truth from the lies for me, can't you?”

 

Maes was in Roy's office the next week, absentmindedly folding and shredding the edges of some very important paperwork. Roy was staring off into space. He didn't care about the rumors. Sure, he had an image and reputation to uphold, but having a steady girlfriend would not destroy that standing. Not at all. Riza Hawkeye was a good woman, and there was so much shared trust and emotion between them. There was nothing wrong with breaking the chain of single life.

 

“Are you really going out with Hawkeye?”

 

Roy gave his friend another silent look. This simple turn of the head was enough to let Hughes understand; the eyes and the contented color of skin spoke orations. Maes smiled, his entire face lighting up. Happiness only a true friend is able to feel flooded him, and he quickly ran over to embrace the lieutenant colonel in his chair.

 

And he whispered in his ear: “I knew it.”

 

“I love her.”

 

Roy's voice quivered. Maes had never heard such a tremble from the pompous lieutenant colonel, and he immediately grasped Roy's shoulders tightly.

 

“What's the matter? What's wrong?”

 

“I'm scared, Maes. What if I lose her?”

 

“You won't.” Maes's voice was sharp and almost harsh. “Why would you think that?”

 

“I don't know. I've never had someone I've liked as much as her before, and I… I'm really scared that we won't stay like this forever.”

 

“Roy. Only once in your life are you ever going to feel this way. Go for it. Go wherever your heart takes you. Trust me, things will be okay.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Past all thought

of right or wrong -

one final question:

how long should we

two wait, before

we're one . . .?

When will the blood

begin to race

the sleeping bud

burst into bloom?

When will the flames,

at last, consume

us . . .?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three weeks later, both Roy and Riza came to work and did not stop smiling. Everything else was normal; Riza's hair was combed, Roy's jacket was stiff and washed, his shoes polished. Every time they passed each other, they made eye contact and broadened their smiles.

 

I want to say it again. You are beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her hand touched his sweaty cheek and traveled up into his dark forest of hair. Roy's eyes were half-closed, and he was calm. Their free fingers entwined, and lips met.

 

I love you…

 

“Forever?”

 

Heartbeats. Smiles.

 

“Yes.”

 

Always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Past the point

of no return

the final threshold -

the bridge

is crossed, so stand

and watch it burn . . .

We've passed the point

of no return . . .