Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ The Sound of Silence ❯ Vicious Cycle ( Chapter 11 )

 

The Sound of Silence

 

Chapter Ten

 

Vicious Cycle

 

“Yaaaaay!”

 

Ed looked up from his note pad and smiled a small smile at seeing Al stretch happily. He was finally being released from the hospital, and this was the first time he'd been allowed to even get out of bed except to go to the bathroom and for physical therapy. The nurses had needed to help him to the restroom at first, since his legs weren't used to walking, and Alphonse had squawked at having girls help him to the bathroom. Luckily for the boy, there were two male nurses that worked on this floor of the hospital who were willing to help out. Al had seemed much more comfortable with that.

 

Ed had not.

 

Each time one of the two nurses came to take Al to the restroom, Ed's body tensed and he paid close attention to the amount of time they were in there. Not that he thought anything was going to happen... It was just... he didn't like it. That was all. For the first week, the nurses had stayed inside the bathroom with Al, just to be safe, and Ed had felt the need to ask his brother what happened during those times.

 

Did they actually watch him, or did they turn around and give him some privacy, or... Al had given him a strange look before telling him that the nurses would turn their backs to him, which made Ed feel much better about it, but only a little. After the first week, the nurses stepped outside the room until Al was ready for them to help him walk back to the bed and after a couple of weeks his brother could make it on his own, which made Ed feel a lot better.

 

The doctors had suggested that perhaps Ed could help out since he was there all the time, and Al seemed to like that idea best of all. He'd agreed, but once was all he could take. Even though he'd had his back to Al the whole time, he couldn't help feeling fidgety and nervous, wondering if the hospital staff would think they were in there too long and get suspicious. Not that there was anything to be suspicious of, but he just couldn't help feeling that way.

 

“Happy to be going home?” Ed asked when the doctor turned to talk with a nurse, and Al nodded emphatically.

 

They weren't really going home, not in the sense of Rizembool, but Ed had called around and, with Hawkeye's help, he'd been able to find a small, two bedroom apartment in Central. He could have done it himself, but he hadn't wanted to leave Al. He was always nervous about leaving him alone in a place with so many people he didn't know. Never know what could happen without someone trustworthy around...

 

So he'd asked the lieutenant for her help. She was the only one he'd felt that he could really trust, and she had been really nice and helpful about it. Even so, Ed planned on changing the locks as soon as he could, just in case Mustang had gotten a hold of the key somehow.

 

Ed turned his attention back to the doctor and finished listening to him give instructions. Al was on several different medications that needed to be taken at specific times and some shouldn't be taken together because they decreased the effectiveness of other ones. Al also needed to be taken in for exams and physical therapy on specific days.

 

He sighed. It was all such a pain, but he supposed it was worth it. He'd planned on going back to Rizembool once Al woke, but right now it just wasn't possible. That rural community didn't have the medical facilities that his brother needed right now, and, of course, to pay for it all, Ed needed a job... and the military had excellent medical benefits...

 

So, much to his displeasure, Ed decided to stay with the military until Al was strong enough. His brother's frail condition also meant that traveling was out of the question, so Ed had sent in a request to be stationed permanently at Central Headquarters. Unfortunately, to be approved, he'd needed to go through Mustang.

 

Of course, there had been a price to pay, and so he'd begged Lieutenant Hawkeye to stay with Al while he ran some `errands'. Given everything he'd been doing from the hospital, it didn't seem so suspicious that he'd need to go do a few things in person, so Hawkeye had agreed.

 

In the end, not only had his request been accepted, but Mustang had gone through some extra effort to get him a research position in which quite a bit of it could be done from home. Ed simply lumped that part in with the payment he'd given for the request. He didn't like it when the colonel did things just to be nice. It ate away at the view he had of the man.

 

After collecting all the paperwork and instructions from the doctor and slipping them neatly into the notebook, Ed waved to Al for him to come to him. “Are you ready?” he asked.

 

“Yep!” Al said enthusiastically.

 

“Okay,” Ed said with a grin. As they started down the hall, Al grabbed onto his empty hand causing Ed to jerk and look down in surprise. The small boy was looking up at him happily and Ed gave him a wary smile back before glancing around nervously. Was it okay for him to hold Al's hand? Was that normal? Fighting the urge to pull his hand away, Ed thought about how happy his brother looked. Surely no one would think anything of it; at least, he hoped not.

 

“What does our house look like, brother?” Al asked in excitement.

 

“Oh, well, um... it's not really a house... it's just a small apartment...” he answered, feeling a little embarrassed about having to admit that. He hadn't been able to afford more. Since they usually spent all his earnings as they traveled, Ed had hardly had much money saved to begin with, but then he'd also had to pay for some of the hospital expenses up front, so... “I just got one for while you recuperate,” Ed explained, trying to make up for what he viewed as inadequate. “We always traveled a lot, so we didn't need a permanent place.”

 

“Oh. What about our house in Rizembool?” Al asked, looking confused and concerned.

 

Ed stopped walking for a moment and stared down at his brother before saying quietly, “We burned it when we left, but when you get better, then we'll go back and rebuild it, okay?”

 

Alphonse stared at him in shock for a moment, then whispered, “What about all of dad's books?”

 

Ed frowned deeply at the question. How long had it been since he'd thought of his father? He didn't know. Was Hohenheim still alive out there? And what if he was? What if he suddenly came back into their lives? Would he be able to take on the responsibility of Alphonse's medical bills? Would Ed be able to leave the military after all?

 

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Their father wasn't coming home. He'd abandoned them long ago, and Ed had learned that he couldn't trust in hope. He'd hoped that his mother would get well, but she hadn't. He'd hoped that when Al got his body back, his brother would be whole again, but his brother wasn't whole... He'd hoped that he'd be able to leave the military once they reached their goal. He could cross that hope out as well. And the hope of getting away from Mustang?

 

Ed blew out his breath bitterly. Hope only brought disappointment. No, he could hardly hope that his bastardly father would miraculously show up and save them from the situation they were in.

 

“Gone,” Ed replied flatly to the question about the books, then started walking again before snapping an impersonal, “Sorry.” He said the apology, but he didn't feel it. As much as he appreciated the books his father had owned, Ed felt a vindictive satisfaction at knowing that he'd burned something that had been so valuable to his father, something that had been more valuable to that bastard than his own family.

 

Truly, he hated the man. If Hohenheim had never left, then maybe their mother wouldn't have died, and if she wouldn't have died, then... Ed pressed his lips together and pushed the thoughts away. That train of thought had played in his mind time and time again. He knew it by heart.

 

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Ed looked down at Al. The boy's lips were turned down in a worried and sad looking frown, making Ed regret his harshness earlier. Clearing his throat, Ed said with a cheerfulness he didn't feel, “Don't worry, I have access to a lot of books—some of the best books in Amestris. I'll check them out and let you read to your heart's content. That okay?”

 

Al glanced up at him and studied his face for a moment before looking away and saying, “I guess, but they won't be dad's books.”

 

Ed frowned irritably. Who the hell cared whose books they were? Books were books. But there wasn't anything he could do about that, so he simply kept quiet. As they walked out of the hospital, Ed looked around for Hawkeye's car, or rather the state car she drove. When he saw it, he started for it, but faltered when he saw that Hawkeye wasn't in the car. Instead, Lieutenant Jean Havoc waved at them from the driver's side window.

 

Ed hurried down to the car with Al in tow. “Where's Hawkeye?” he asked, trying to sound neutral to the situation, but failing miserably.

 

“The colonel needed her for something, so I got sent instead,” he drawled easily around his cigarette. “Hop on in,” he said, directing them with a motion of his thumb. Scowling at the second lieutenant's cigarette, Ed reached out and plucked it from his mouth and flicked it away. Alphonse was very sensitive to things like that right now, and Ed didn't want to chance his brother having any sort of relapse. The last thing he needed was for Al to be hospitalized again. After spending so much time in that building, Ed hated the fucking place with a passion. Besides, he really couldn't afford what they were charging him.

 

“Hey!” Havoc protested loudly, but quieted when he saw Ed's glare. The tall man cleared his throat, finally understanding, and turned around in his seat to look at the small boy climbing into the back. “Sorry, kid.”

 

“That's okay,” Al said cheerfully. Ed grunted in annoyance and scooted into the seat next to his brother. He wouldn't have had this problem if it would have been Hawkeye who had come. It wasn't that he didn't like Havoc, it was just that he felt more comfortable with Hawkeye.

 

Al yawned and blinked at him before laying his head on Ed's lap. “I'm tired,” Al whined wearily. Ed stiffened at the contact, not sure what to do. Should he make his brother sit back up? Al was still really weak and the doctor had said he'd probably need a lot of small naps. Clumsily, Ed pushed his brother away from his body and closer to his knee, but Al scooted back, seeming to snuggle even closer to him.

 

“Aww, that's so cute,” Havoc said, glancing back at him through the rearview mirror.

 

“Is it okay?” Ed asked nervously. It wasn't that he didn't like Al touching him—he kind of wanted to hug his brother and snuggle with him—but it made him feel a little uneasy. Usually only Mustang touched him, and even when Ed had snuggled up to his brother before, it wasn't the same; it hadn't been flesh and blood.

 

Yet, even that wasn't what made Ed so uneasy. It was the fear that came from the touch. Was it natural? Was it okay to have Al on his lap? Even though he didn't want to think of it, images of himself with his head close to Mustang's crotch, and what he did in that position, came to mind making him feel sick and anxious at the way Al was snuggling so near.

 

“Yeah, don't worry, we're not going very fast,” Havoc said easily. “Even if I had to stop suddenly, you could grab him quickly enough so that he didn't fly forward.” Ed glanced down at his brother. That wasn't the answer he'd been looking for, but since Havoc didn't seem to think there was anything weird about it, then there probably wasn't.

 

Unless...

 

Ed stared at the back of Havoc's head and narrowed his eyes. The man did seem to get along well with Mustang. What if he had the same kind of... He shook his head, trying to clear his mind of such suspicious thoughts, and tried to think of something more pleasant.

 

He looked down at Al again and gently brushed Al's bangs away from his face before smoothing his brother's hair back. Another memory slammed into him of being petted almost the same way and Ed quickly pulled his hand away and pressed his fingers against his forehead. Fear flooded through him as he analyzed his actions. He hadn't meant anything by the way he was touching Al. Was it wrong? Was there a better way to be affectionate to his brother without it seeming like something it wasn't? What things were innocent? What things were okay?

 

Taking a deep breath, Ed opted for putting one arm stiffly at his side, and the other cautiously holding onto Al's back to keep him from sliding off his lap when they came to a stop. Yet, even then he was careful how he held onto Al's back, just in case. He didn't want to do anything wrong.

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

“Here we are!” Havoc announced as he opened the front door for Ed and Al to go in. The younger boy instantly dashed into the apartment to look around, not paying any attention to Ed's shouted reminder not to overwork himself. Havoc grinned and held out the key for Ed to take. Grabbing it, Ed let himself inside and looked around in confusion.

 

He'd been wondering what they'd do for furniture until he had enough money to buy something, but the front room already had a couch and a chair, and a small table with two chairs sat in the undersized dining area. Frowning, Ed walked into the tiny kitchen and opened the cupboards to find them stocked with food and dishes.

 

“What's going on?” he asked in bewilderment as he made his way to the fridge.

 

“Well, seems the colonel wasn't too happy about being left out of helping you find a place, so he insisted on buying a few things,” Havoc explained easily.

 

Mustang had bought all this? Ed glanced in the fridge and scowled before shutting it and walking back to the lieutenant. “I don't want anything from him,” Ed said tightly. He felt angry that this had all come from Mustang, and humiliated that he'd been viewed as a charity case. “Is there any way to take it all back?”

 

Havoc frowned and said, “That's pretty ungrateful of you, chief.”

 

“I don't care,” he answered back angrily. He didn't want anything from anyone, especially not Mustang. He could provide for himself. He had a job. He could save up for whatever they needed.

 

Ed scowled at the furniture in the front room before turning down the short hall that led to the rest of the apartment. He glanced into the smaller of the two bedrooms to see a twin bed with bedding splashed in bright blues, greens, yellows, and oranges. There was also a small combination bookshelf and writing desk meant for someone Al's age. The closet was open and he saw a row of hangers hanging on the bar, and below that a small dresser. The furniture was... nice. Very nice. Much nicer than Ed would have been able to buy with all the medical bills he had and what he was paying for the apartment and...

 

Ed grunted, trying not to think about his finances and walked into the other room. His face turned down to a scowl when he saw his room. A queen sized bed with deep red and black bedding was positioned with its head against the middle of the far wall. A bookshelf—filled with books no less—was against another wall. A large desk was placed neatly into a corner opposite the bed.

 

Ed's scowl deepened as he realized that the desk was very, very, nice. Not one Ed would have even considered for himself at all. And the bed! What the hell did he need such a large bed for?!

 

“This place is great!” Al shouted from where he was sitting in the middle of the bed. Ed gave his brother a forced smile as he walked toward the bookshelf to examine the books. His breathing grew heavy and forced as he realized that all the books and research materials he'd need for his new position were there. He supposed he should be grateful, but he didn't feel that way at all.

 

Turning around, he walked over to Havoc who was leaning against the door frame. Ed opened his mouth, ready to demand that everything be taken out of his apartment immediately, when the tall man pulled out a sealed envelope and handed it to Ed.

 

“From the colonel,” Havoc muttered, looking displeased with the way Ed was reacting. Swiping it, Ed had a strong urge to tear it up, but instead he stalked into Al's room and slammed the door shut. Sitting down on the small bed, Ed sighed heavily and stared dully at the envelope.

 

He didn't want to open it. He didn't want to know what Mustang had to say. Ed flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He could hear Al asking what was wrong, and Lieutenant Havoc giving him some lame ass excuse before engaging the boy in some sort of word game.

 

Ed chewed on his bottom lip. What if he didn't open it? What if he just crumpled it up and threw it away? Nothing Mustang had to say was that important anyway, right? Ed wanted to convince himself of that, but he knew otherwise. He was pretty sure Mustang had something to say, and even though Ed was sure he wouldn't like it, he knew better than to ignore the man.

 

Ed lifted the envelope in front of his eyes and watched it bend down at one end. Ed's eyebrows knit together and he gripped that side with his other hand. There was something small and hard in there... something that felt like... Frowning, Ed sat up and ripped open the envelope. Turning it over, Ed watched as a key slid out along with a folded piece of paper.

 

Digging in his pocket, Ed pulled out the key Havoc had given him and compared them. They were identical. This filled Ed with an unspeakable rage. How the hell had Mustang gotten a key to his apartment?!

 

Grabbing the paper, Ed unfolded it and angrily scanned over what was written.

 

Fullmetal Alchemist

Major Edward Elric

 

I hope you like the furnishings. The

food should last you a couple of weeks.

I've already paid your utilities for this

month as well.

 

I'm returning the key Lieutenant Hawkeye

loaned me. I didn't make a copy, in case

you were wondering.

 

I wasn't sure what size of bed to get

you, so I went with `queen'. You may

need a larger bed than your brother.

 

Come visit me some time after you're

settled and we can talk. Take care

and we'll see you at the office on

Monday.

 

Flame Alchemist

Colonel Roy Mustang

 

Ed growled furiously. He was definitely getting the locks changed. And what did the man mean by saying he'd need a larger bed than Al? He didn't even want to know. He rescanned the letter. It was written on the official letterhead and was written so damn formally, but Ed knew... Ed saw right through it. He read over it one last time and grunted. So they can `talk'? Ed pressed his lips together tightly. Was Mustang implying that he owed him for these gifts too?

 

Angrily, Ed crumpled up the paper.

 

Well, fuck him, Ed thought. He hadn't asked for the man to buy him furniture or food, and if Mustang would have asked if he wanted help, Ed would have said `no'. He scowled down at the paper in his hands and gritted his teeth. He really wanted to throw everything out, but he wouldn't. It wouldn't be fair to Al. His brother deserved more than an empty apartment, but Ed didn't have enough money to give that to him.

 

Ed swallowed and tightened his grip on the paper. He wished desperately that they could just go back to Rizembool, but even if Rizembool had as good of a hospital as Central did, there was no way they'd be able to go there. There was no job Ed could do that would pay him even close to what the military paid.

 

Trapped.

 

He felt so trapped.

 

He felt pressure in his chest and a lump formed in his throat. He wanted to cry, but he held the tears at bay. There was no way he was going to cry with Havoc here, and Al would be afraid.

 

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Ed pressed his lips together before standing and starting toward the door. He tightly squeezed the crumpled up paper in his hands and made a decision. He would accept Mustang's gifts. He would swallow his pride and accept them because he didn't want Al to be without, but he had no intention of paying for them.

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

“Brother?”

 

Ed groaned as he was forced awake and turned onto his side. Opening his eyes, he peered blearily through the darkness and saw Al standing beside the bed with a frightened look on his face.

 

“Huh? What?” he asked groggily.

 

“I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?” Al begged.

 

“Eh?” Ed mumbled and blinked, trying to put everything in focus. He'd been in a deep sleep, and being wakened so suddenly left him feeling dazed. He stared at Al's pleading face for a moment before sighing and nodding his head tiredly. He was too exhausted to try sending Al back to his own bed. With Ed's consent, Al hurriedly climbed onto the bed and under the covers. Ed closed eyes and muttered sleepily, “Just be sure to stay on that side.”

 

In the last three weeks, Ed had practically worn himself out. Besides the research and various reports he was required to do for work, Ed had also needed to take Al to doctor appointments and physical therapy sessions practically every day. He'd also had to run Al to the emergency room on five different occasions. Once had been from an allergic reaction he had from something he ate, but the others had all come about from Al being too rowdy. His brother seemed to want to play as if he was completely well, but he wasn't, and his body couldn't keep up.

 

Then there was the fact that Al wanted to spend almost every waking moment with him. Ed had needed to explain that it wasn't like when they were kids. Ed just couldn't play with him all day long. He had work he needed to do. Al had been disappointed, but had taken it pretty well and settled on reading and other quiet activities while Ed was working.

 

But Al was never very far away, and often he was closer than Ed would like. If Ed got up and went to a different room, Al would go with him. If Ed and Al were in the same room together, Al would inch closer and closer to Ed until he couldn't possibly get any nearer. If they were walking together, Al would grab Ed's hand or simply walk so close that they were touching.

 

It was all very distressing to Ed. He couldn't remember his brother ever being so clingy before, and wondered if it was because Al was in such a new situation. It must be scary to have everything changed so drastically. He did remember Al hugging their mother a lot, but that was different. He was Al's brother, not his mom.

 

As if the amount of closeness they had during the day wasn't enough, every night Al would beg Ed to let him sleep with him, and every night Ed would refuse. When they were little they'd shared a bed, but this was different. At seventeen, Ed was a man now, or at least close to it, and Al was just a little boy. It just didn't seem right for them to share a bed; and besides, what if Al told someone he was sleeping in the same bed as Ed? What would they think was going on between them? What if... No, better just to make his brother stay in his own bed.

 

Ed opened his eyes again when he felt Al scooting closer to him and scowled. “Al, I told you to stay on your own side,” Ed grumbled irritably.

 

“But, brother...” Al whimpered pitifully. “I'm afraid.”

 

“Of what?” Ed growled.

 

“I had a bad dream about before... you know, about when we tried to bring mom back...” Al whispered.

 

Ed lifted his head and stared at the little boy with tired eyes before letting out a heavy sigh of defeat. He still had nightmares about that too. Lying back down, he moved the pillow over his automail arm, then let Al lay his head on the pillow and snuggle next to his chest. Ed stiffened at the close contact, but gradually he let himself relax. He was much too tired for all of this.

 

In an effort to find a more comfortable position, Ed wrapped his other arm around Al's body, scooting him in a little closer, then sighed wearily. His brother was just so warm. It really did feel nice to have someone next to him. Closing his eyes, Ed rubbed his brother's back softly. The small body next to him snuggled even more deeply and Ed absentmindedly kissed his brother's cheek. He was so soft. Ed thought he could get lost in that and let his lips trail down to Al's neck.

 

His breathing quickened and he felt the start of desire in his groin. His tired mind told him that Al was safe. Al loved him and wouldn't leave him, or treat him badly. His hand seemed to take a life of its own and traveled down his brother's pajamas.

 

It was then that warning bells went off in the back of his head. Opening his eyes, Ed realized that he had gone from kissing Al's cheek, to kissing his neck, to licking his ear, and then to trailing kisses down his brother's front. His hand had wandered from its innocent rubbing of Al's back, to the boy's thigh, and was now on Al's rear.

 

His brother was looking up at him with wide, confused eyes, and when he saw that Ed was looking at him, he mewled a puzzled, “Brother?”

 

“Oh, God,” Ed cried in horror to a deity he didn't believe in, then turned quickly, got out of the bed, and ran for the bathroom.

 

“Brother?” Al called after him, panic and worry threading through his voice.

 

Without answering, Ed rushed into the dark bathroom and slammed the door behind him. He pressed his back against the door and let his body slide down until he was sitting on the floor. Wrapping his arms around himself, Ed tried to stop his body from trembling, but it was no use.

 

What he'd done... that was definitely wrong. What he'd done was bad! How could he have done that?! Why had he done that? Ed didn't know. He couldn't even remember. His eyes stung both from how tired he was and also from the threat of tears. He'd been touching his brother like that! In that way... He'd... he... just like Mustang...

 

Ed clenched his teeth together and looked wide-eyed around the dark bathroom. His eyes were filling up with tears and his chest burned with his pent up anguish. How could he have done that?! He blinked and the tears escaped, dripping heavily down his face. He sucked air in through his nose and through his clenched teeth, as he tried to keep in the sobbing that wanted to come out. But in doing so he wasn't getting enough air, and Ed knew that he wasn't going to be able to hold this back for much longer.

 

A timid knock sounded on the door followed by a whimpered, “Brother?” Ed squeezed his knees tightly to his chest and buried his head in them. “Brother, are you mad at me?” Al whimpered.

 

The sob finally escaped him and he squeezed his eyes shut. No, of course he wasn't mad at his brother. He was mad at himself. He'd been afraid that something like that would happen, afraid that he would cross the line somehow, and now he had. How could he possibly look his brother in the eyes again?

 

After a minute of silence, Al said softly, “I'm sorry, brother... I didn't mean to do anything bad...”

 

At that, Ed's head snapped up and his eyes popped open. Rushing to his knees, Ed pulled open the door to see his ten-year-old brother standing in the hall looking completely dejected. Grabbing Al's shoulders, Ed shook him roughly while looking up into the boy's worried face.

 

“No! It's not your fault!” he sobbed heavily. “It's my fault! I'm the bad one, not you!” He refused to let his brother think it was his fault when it wasn't. It was Ed's fault. Everything was his fault.

 

He saw tears form in his brother's eyes and Ed wondered if it was from being shaken or from seeing his older brother in hysterics. Trying to calm himself, but failing miserably, Ed shifted on his knees and rested his head on his brother's chest.

 

“Al... I'm sorry. I... What I did was wrong... Will you forgive me?” he begged tearfully. He couldn't let this lie between them. He didn't want his brother to hate him like he hated Mustang.

 

“I guess so, but I'm not really sure what you did wrong,” Al said in a bewildered tone.

 

Ed sniffed and looked back up at his brother. “What I was doing... I shouldn't have... you know, the touching and stuff...” He couldn't bring himself to say it out right. It was too humiliating. Al was smart. He'd understand what Ed was talking about... right? “If I ever, well... do anything that makes you feel... strange, you should tell me to stop, okay?”

 

He looked hopefully into Al's eyes. His brother would know what was wrong, right? Al would know what made him feel funny... right? He'd leave it to Al to say if he was doing something wrong...

 

“Okay,” Al murmured, looking at him with a frown. “Are you alright now?”

 

Not wanting to worry his brother, and feeling that he was a little more under control, Ed nodded and shakily got to his feet. “I'm fine,” he said through shuddering breaths. “Let's just...” He stopped. What should he do? Should he make Al go to his own bed? Ed looked down at the boy, saw fear radiating from his eyes, and knew there was no way he'd get Al to sleep in his own bed tonight. “Let's just go to bed,” he murmured, feeling horribly empty inside.

 

He walked despondently back to his bed and laid down. He could hear Al getting in on the other side. Resisting the urge to yell at him to go back to his own room, or even worse the conflicting desire to hold him again, Ed curled up into a ball and held the covers tightly in his hands.

 

For a while there was silence between them, each of them lying on their own side of the bed, and though Ed tried to sleep, he couldn't. There were too many thoughts all jumbled in his head. Now that the initial shock had worn off, another emotion filled him.

 

Fear.

 

What if Al told someone what happened? What if someone found out? What would happen? Would he lose his job? Would Al get taken away from him? What if Winry and Pinako found out? He could imagine the looks of disgust on their faces.

 

Swallowing hard, Ed looked over at his brother. The boy's eyes were closed, but his breathing gave him away. “Al?” Ed whispered quietly.

 

Al's eyes opened and he stared at Ed for a moment before saying hesitantly, “Yes, brother?”

 

Ed paused, wondering if he should do this, but then the fear gripped him again and a small amount of panic started to set in. Finally, he made his decision and nervously whispered his request, “Don't tell anyone. Okay?” Al stared wordlessly at him, and as the silence grew, so did his fears. “You have to promise me, Al,” Ed pressed, then paused.

 

His pushing was only making Al afraid, that wasn't what Ed wanted at all. Taking a deep breath, Ed gave Al a small reassuring smile then said with a lightness he didn't feel, “I won't tell if you promise not to. Just... just a secret between us... what do you think?”

 

As if Ed's tone change was a switch, Al visibly relaxed and nodded. “Okay,” Al whispered.

 

With his brother's assurance, the fear and panic subsided somewhat—not all the way, but enough. Unfortunately, the conversation left a bad taste in his mouth and he felt sick to his stomach. There was just something horribly familiar about it, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

 

--

 

Child abuse, or any kind of abuse, is a serious issue. If you, or someone you know, is being abused, please find someone you can trust and tell them