Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Vanashing Dreams ❯ Vanishing Dreams ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Be glad I'm not as good at humor as the original creators are ;)

POV: Roy Mustang

Warning: Angst, major depression, suicide

 

Vanishing Dreams

 

The cold metal felt good against his skin. Cold. Would death be the same? Or would be like a warm dream? Would it be empty or full of comfort? He had never found comfort here, nor warmth. His life was empty and cold, whatever death may be, it would be better.

Why was he hesitating? Why could he not force his finger to pull the trigger? Why did the gun not fire? Wasn't it created to kill?

Memories flashed before his eyes. He could see them, his subordinates, no his friends. Havoc with his ever-present cigarette, Fuery the fearful little guy and the others. They always made him smile because of their antics.

The metal was warming up by the contact with his skin. How long had he been standing here like this? Funny. Riza always pointed her gun at him if he slacked off. Now he didn't fear the gun anymore. Did he?

Gold. Fullmetal was golden life. Young and yet mature, his golden eyes shining with so much energy. All of it fixated on returning his brother to his body. He never gave up, Roy was so proud of him. Like he was his own son. He remembered the time he had met the boy, now a young man.

He didn't give up then, even after he failed to revive his mother. He didn't give up on dreams. He always tried and pushed himself harder and harder. And when he finally accomplished his goal he would have a new dream, ready to chase. Roy admired him so much.

His life had always been empty, but filled with regret and sorrow after Ishbal. Until Maes helped him create a dream. The dream to never let that happen again. To never let anyone suffer like he did.

But it was so hard! All those eyes, the eyes of the people he killed. Especially the eyes of dead fused with the living. That Rockbell girl. He was so sorry; he had never meant to kill her parents. How long had he been screaming at himself then? How long was he standing here like this?

He didn't hear the door open, nor the young Alchemist's words as he entered. “Here's my report, Colonel Bas-”

The cut of words didn't reach his eyes, nor the panicked footsteps. He startled as a hand grabbed his wrist, accidentally pulling the trigger. The scream didn't reach his ears as he slowly fell to the ground. Edward caught him desperately trying to figure out what to do, panicking at the sight of so much blood. Confusing filled those golden eyes as watched Roy smile softly to him.

“Chase your dreams, Edward”

 

Owari