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Warnings: Oh gee, let's see…Language, Slash, Hentai, Gundam Boy Abuse, Even More Tasuki Abuse, Silliness, and Extreme Liberties with Religion.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Fushigi Yuugi or any of these characters.

AN: Never invite the Gundam Wing boys into a fanfic. I needed some supporting characters and instead of creating them, I decided to have fun with the GW pilots. Next thing I know, they've taken over the plot! But this fic isn't about them, really…

Second thing is more serious and might be preachy, so go ahead and skip if you like, but I feel obligated to explain where I'm coming from. In any community of all men (or all women for that matter), some homosexual relationships will develop in the absence of partners of the opposite sex. This is a fact of nature. It is called "situational homosexuality" and it happens in prisons and in religious organizations and always has. It's not always about rape or abuse of power. (I write for fun and as it happens don't enjoy reading or writing that type of story, but to each his/her own.) My imaginary monastery filled with hentai monks isn't meant to slam Buddhism (for which I have a deep respect) or any other religion. It's simply my horribly twisted mind combining this concept with the desire to make Tasuki squirm. Or rather, my desire to ultimately see Chichiri make Tasuki squirm… ^_^ Thanks for reading!

Tasuki and the Hentai Monks

by Xellas M.

Chapter 1

A promise was a promise. At least, that's what Tasuki kept reminding himself as he reluctantly took his place at a long dinner table surrounded by young students in training to become (of all things) monks. He glanced up at Chichiri, seated at the head table with the Elders. Although the smiling mask gave away little of the well seishi's thoughts, the bandit was adept at reading his body language. The cheerful blue-haired monk was truly relaxed and happy to be here. In fact, he hadn't been this relaxed in months…probably because they had been staying with the Mt. Leikaku bandits. In all the time the pair had stayed in Tasuki's old mountain home with his boisterous friends, Chichiri hadn't complained once.

The redhead sighed. No matter which way he looked at it, he owed his best friend this return visit to the monastery at which he had trained. And so Tasuki found himself in absolutely the last place he ever expected to be - sitting quietly (he could damn well be quiet when he wanted to!) surrounded by young monks immersed in heartfelt prayer. Not wishing to be disrespectful, the young seishi bowed his head as well and did his best to concentrate. Why the hell did their prayers have to be so long anyway? As far as Tasuki was concerned, everything Suzaku wanted to hear could be said within two minutes, easy.

Exactly two minutes into the chant, a loud growl sounded throughout the dining room, which unfortunately for Tasuki was damn near acoustically perfect. Although most of the monks had developed enough self-discipline not to look around or laugh, the small blond to his right and the one sporting a long chestnut braid to his left were suddenly overcome with a fit of suspicious coughing.

Finally, the Elder finished speaking. Tasuki, desperate to hide his burning face, quickly snatched his cup and started drinking.

Ugh! Milk!

What happened next was pure reflex, the sake-drinking champion of the Mt. Leikaku Bandits' body reacting to the unwelcome substance. A wide spray of milk shot from his mouth…right onto the stunned face of the young black-haired monk sitting in front of him.

"BAKA!" Black eyes flashing, the recipient of Tasuki's unintended shower leapt to his feet with a speed and grace that was astonishing, hand reaching immediately for a weapon that fortunately for the poor, put-upon seishi, he no longer carried.

The boys on either side of Tasuki lost it, laughing so hard tears began leaking from their eyes. In other circumstances, the redhead might well be doing the same. The angry boy was a very funny sight, dark brows knit with pure rage heedless of the while milk dripping relentlessly down his dark face. As it was, the bandit, embarrassed to his core, managed to stand and bow deeply in apology. When he straightened he saw Chichiri's masked face frowning at him from his place with the Elders. Face flaming all over again, Tasuki looked around for a nice deep hole to hide in.

With no recourse other than to accept the gesture or else start a fight in front of the Elders, the boy accepted the fire seishi's apology. When everything had calmed down and the monks had resumed eating, the braided boy leaned over and introduced himself.

"I'm Duo, and that's Quatre. The guy over there who is wearing your milk's WuFei. He's not all that bad, really, once ya get to know him. He came over from Koutou when the war ended and he's still a little jumpy."

"Tasuki." The redhead replied, but he might as well have saved his breath. Duo apparently could talk enough for several people.

"Everyone knows that…you're a Suzaku seishi, like Chichiri-sama. You're really lucky to be able to spend so much time with him. Is it true that Taiitskun said he was her best student ever?"

The meal continued much more amicably, the amused seishi answering the young monks' questions about the War, the Summoning, and the Miko. Not surprisingly, most of them wanted to hear about Chichiri. It made sense, after all - he was one of their own, a famous hero from a place where modesty and self-effacement were taught. It made for a comfortable meal; Chichiri happened to be one of Tasuki's favorite subjects.

* * * * *

After dinner, the young bandit was left to his own devices. Almost dead of thirst but not wishing to disturb the monks during their evening prayers, he walked around the peaceful grounds of the place until he found a small well.

He drank deeply then threw in a small coin to thank the spirit of the well. It was something he had only started doing since he'd met Chichiri. If anyone had ever caught him doing it, he'd have roasted them to a crisp. He glanced around quickly to make sure no one was watching.

Satisfied, he relaxed and suddenly it was a very serious looking young man who whispered the deepest secret of his heart into the night air.

All the way back to the monastery, he couldn't shake the feeling that this time someone had heard.

* * * * *

That night, alone and bereft of even a drop of sake, Tasuki made his way back to the room he had been shown briefly earlier. The monastery was not very large and he would be sharing quarters with some of the students. Which was fine, maybe if they hadn't been monks very long they might be able to help him out with a little drink.

When he pushed open the door, he barely caught himself before swearing out loud. It figured that he would end up rooming with WuFei of all people. The touchy boy was sitting at a small table in what appeared to be a common area, immersed in his studies. The young monk tore himself away from his scroll for a few precious seconds to glare at his new, unwelcome roommate.

"Hi again!" Bright and smiling violet eyes suddenly appeared in one of two small doorways on opposite ends of the room. A long braid of hair followed and Tasuki was able to recognize his host. "Sleeping quarters on either side. You're with WuFei, over there."

The dark haired teenager snorted dismissively.

It was up to Tasuki to be friendly. Sure, he and WuFei had gotten off to a bad start, but these monks meant a lot to Chichiri and he was going to make nice if it killed every last one of them.

"Great!" The fire seishi replied, grinning broadly. He walked around behind the studying monk and gave him a friendly pat on the back. "Whatcha readin'?"

Tasuki may have been a bandit and he may have run away from home at a very early age, but he had at least one skill even many minor nobles did not - he could read. His old bandit leader had taught him as much as he could before dying and the young brigand had drunk in the information like sake.

So what if it was only to get at the *really* interesting books they had liberated from the occasional literary traveler. Whatever his overall reading level was, certain characters leapt out almost immediately. Words like "sex" and "homosexuality" and his all-time favorite, "fellatio".

They were leaping out at him now.

That tight-assed little prick was reading up on gay sex? Hn. Maybe he wasn't such a tight-assed little prick after all. He couldn't be, if he was practicing even half of what Tasuki saw described on that page.

"You can look at it when I'm done. It's very rude to read over someone's shoulder." WuFei said between clenched teeth, as though he were doing nothing out of the ordinary and it was Tasuki who was out of line.

"Lighten up, Wu-Man. He probably just wants to show Chichiri-sama a good time."

"What? That isn't fucking funny, man!" Tasuki used his speed to cross the room and hit the braided idiot upside his grinning head with his tessen before either of the boys in the room could see the guilty truth on his face; given half a chance, he'd gladly show their Chichiri-sama one *hell* of a good time.

"I'd think you would show some respect for Chiri." He finished sternly, giving Duo a final whack. Only on Chichiri's behalf could Tasuki have given lessons in propriety to a monk (even if Duo was only a monk-in-training).

"Itai!! Wait, lemme get this straight…"

Tasuki crossed his arms in front of himself and waited for the braided idiot to think it through.

"You've been traveling, alone, with Chichiri-sama for how long now?"

"Two years." Two long and happy but incredibly sexually frustrating years.

"And you've never even offered to - "

"Hell, no!" Although if he thought there was even the faintest hope such an offer would be accepted…the bandit's mind wandered and he almost missed the next tirade.

Which, surprisingly, came from WuFei. "Trust a common thief to have no honor! You are not worthy of traveling with such a great man."

Tasuki blinked, then shook his head. When that failed to reassemble the words the dark-haired boy had spoken into something he could process, he clearly and politely asked to hear them again.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

WuFei just snorted and went back to studying his scroll, leaving Duo to try and explain.

"It's just, how is Chichiri-sama supposed to concentrate on his meditations and spiritual growth if he's well, ya know, frustrated?"

"Ain't ya guys supposed to be studying to be monks? Don't ya have ta take a vow of celibacy or somethin'?" Tasuki was in way over his head on this one and it was not a comfortable feeling.

"Of course we do. We take a vow to abstain from all sexual activities with women." Duo explained as though to a five year old child.

WuFei picked up where his friend left off. "Women are weak. Relationships with them ruin men and take away clarity of thought."

"You got *that* right." Tasuki muttered.

Duo completed the explanation, seeming to pick up on Tasuki's misunderstanding. "But it's only natural, healthy, to be aware of the body's instincts. Just as it is difficult to concentrate or focus when you are hungry, it is difficult to focus when your body requires…other things…"

"So you're all gay?" The bandit pinched himself - he knew he wasn't dreaming because if he was then he'd be locked up somewhere with a naked Chichiri (or several naked Chichiris). If he wasn't dreaming, then he was probably dead. He sure had done a lot of bad things in his life, but to be trapped in a monastery filled with insane hentai monks…well, he hadn't been quite *that* bad. Anyway, the pinch had hurt which meant he was still alive…didn't it?

"Of course not. Just because we don't sleep with women doesn't mean we're not attracted to them. Well, most of us are, anyway. Take Quatre - you met him at dinner - I bet he's never looked at a girl in his life."

"And *you* did?" WuFei glared at Duo challengingly.

The braided boy quickly changed the subject, but not before a slight blush stained his cheeks. "So, you see, naturally you'd be expected to take care of Chichiri-sama."

"Ah." It was the most intelligent reply the poor bandit could come up with on short notice.

WuFei had, by now, finally given up his pretext of reading entirely. He also appeared to be unbending a little. Apparently Tasuki simply hadn't understood his obligation. "We can have your things moved to his room immediately."

"NO!" The word came out more forcefully than the redhead intended.

One pair of black eyes and one pair of violet blinked at him, confused.

"Chiri ain't like that. He was engaged once, an' I think he still loves her." It hurt to admit the truth out loud.

Duo shrugged. "Have you ever asked him?"

"Look, I don't wanna talk about this anymore. Goodnight." Tasuki turned to the door Duo had indicated earlier, ready for bed.

Before he could make it to that haven of sanity, WuFei spoke in a voice filled with scorn. "If you're not going to help him, I will."

"Like hell you will! If you lay one finger on him, I swear I'll fucking burn you alive!" In a flash, Tasuki's golden stare was burning into the suddenly impassive onyx eyes of the young monk.

"So you *do* care for him…" Duo said.

Tasuki was NOT going there. With his last vestige of self-control, he went into the small bedroom and locked the door. Let WuFei sleep somewhere else, the little slut…but if he went anywhere near Chichiri, there'd be hell to pay.

* * * * *

~End Chapter 1