Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Aishiteru...Zutto ❯ Chapter 1

Pairing: Chichiri/Tasuki

Rating: This part PG13

Warnings: Obviously yaoi. Mild violence, Angst, Language 'cause Tasuki-kun has quite the mouth in this no da.

Spoilers: Don't know. I don't even know what's going to happen. I'm making it up as I go along. Although it takes place after the entire series, so there will most likely be spoilers for the entire thing.

Disclaimer: Do I really need this? I mean, everybody already knows that I can't possibly own Fushigi Yuugi. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

//Chiri's thoughts//

*Tasuki's thoughts*

Aishiteru…zutto

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*I wonder where he is right now. Is he even thinkin' 'bout me at all? I mean, if he cared ya think he would'a come back by now.* "I miss you Chiri." Tasuki whispered to the empty room. "It's been way too long. I have ta see you again.....I need ya."

Tasuki's shaking hand reached for the cup of sake he had poured earlier. His vision however, was blurred, and his searching hand knocked the cup to the floor, splashing the liquid over the rug. He swiped at his eyes, not at all surprised when his sleeve came back damp. Pushing himself up out of the chair, Tasuki stumbled over to the mirror.

*Che, I don't even recognize myself anymore. What the hell am I doing?* "Dammit Chiri, I'm dying here without ya. Why'd ya leave me? What'd I do ta make ya go?"

His haggard reflection didn't have any answers. Amber eyes, usually glowing with an inner fire, seemed dull. Running a hand through fiery hair, Tasuki stared intently at his image, his thoughts going through reasons as to why Chichiri would go. *I know he likes wandering. It's what he does after all, but he always asked me if I wanted ta go with him. It's gotta be me then. I'm the reason he left.* Suddenly feeling cold, Tasuki's eyes widened in horror. "Oh Gods, he found out. He figured it out. But how? I was careful. I...I didn't do anything that would let him know. He had ta have realized I love him though. Why else would he leave so suddenly?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I have to go now Tasuki-kun no da. I'll see you in a few months or so no da." Chichiri said while pulling on his kesa.

"Nani!" Tasuki started, nearly falling from the tree he was perched in. "Demo doshite?"

Chichiri had his mask on, so any emotion on his face would have been hidden. "I just want to go travelling again for a while no da."

Confusion passed over the bandit's features. He wanted to ask, 'Why aren't ya takin' me with ya?', but settled for, "So....you're goin' alone huh?" He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice and face.

"Hai, no da. I need to spend several months on my own. I've started to neglect my praying and need time to worship Suzaku properly no da."

"Oh....." Tasuki trailed off, knowing anything else he said would start to sound like whining.

Picking up his staff, Chichiri turned towards the trial leading down Mt. Leikaku. Waving cheerily, Chichiri called out, "Goodbye Tasuki-kun! I'll be back soon no da!"

Forcing a grin, Tasuki waved back. "See ya Chiri-kun. Don' be gone too long or I'll have ta come looking for yer ass! Take care of yerself."

As soon as Chichiri was out of sight the grin slipped from his face. "I'll miss ya Chiri. I don' want ya ta go." Sighing, Tasuki leaned back against the trunk. "I'll be waiting for ya. I can stand a couple of months without ya, how hard can it be?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple months had quickly turned into half a year, then slowly dragged on past a year. "It's been what? 'Bout a year and three months now?" His annoying subconscious decided to choose this moment to be helpful. *It's been one year, three months, two weeks, four days, and 'bout just after dinner, since he left.*

The only thing that kept Tasuki from following through with his threat to track down Chichiri was the fact that he had no idea where the monk was. *I don' wanna miss him if he comes back. I don' wanna go, then come back and have the guys tell me Chiri was here but left 'cause he didn't wanna wait.* Tasuki growled at himself mentally. "Fuck, I'm starting ta sound like a woman! What the fuck's yer problem Tasuki? Just get over him already. There's no chance in hell he'd ever feel somethin' for me." *But I love him. How do ya just stop loving someone? Ya know ya'll wait forever for him.*

Flopping down on his bed, Tasuki growled, "Just shut up!"

Deciding to get some sleep before any of his men came to bug him, he closed his eyes. But, like every time before, images of Chichiri popped up. Eventually, the picture of them entwined in an embrace lulled him off to an uneasy rest.

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Chichiri stopped and stared up the winding trail that would lead him to the bandit stronghold. "Tasuki-kun is going to be a bit mad at me no da."

//Now that's an understatement if I've ever heard one. Saying Tasuki is going to be a bit mad is like saying Hotohori was just a bit narcissistic. He's going to be furious with me. I really shouldn't be too worried though. Tasuki might be easily angered, but he forgives just as quickly.//

Nodding his head in determination, Chichiri started to make his way up the path, his staff jingling with each step. Usually, that sound was comforting, a reminder of what he loved to do. The past year however, that small sound has only made the monk lonely. Lonely and miserable. //Without Tasuki's non-stop loud talking it seems so very silent. That's what I miss the most, having someone to talk to. I know I chose to become a monk so I could be left alone, but meeting Tasuki changed all that. All I wanted was to have him near me. that wasn't bad at first, although a bit disconcerting. It was when the dreams started that I needed to get away.//

Blushing furiously, Chichiri attempted to stop the images from flooding his mind. Pushing them firmly out of his thoughts, he went back to his contemplating. //I'm only sorry that I had to spring my decision to leave on him so suddenly. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, I could tell he was hurt. It would hurt him more if he knew the real reason why I didn't want to bring him with me. I know he hates women, but what about men? He teased Nuriko about being gay all the time. On the other hand, he always seemed to be so very close to Kouji, but they were best friends. In all the time I've known him, not once have I seen him with anyone. Until I'm certain about his prefrences I'll stay quiet about my feelings.// Sighing, Chichiri's shoulders slumped, his mask still smiling. //My feelings. That's what drove me to wandering alone in the first place. I've never been so confused in my life. I'd never even had thoughts like that about Kouran. Never mind the fact that quite a few of these thoughts wouldn't even be possible with a woman.//

That set him off blushing again. "I think I spent too much time talking to Nuriko na da." He muttered as yet another vision of a naked Tasuki made itself present.

This time he didn't try to get rid of the image. Even imagined, the sight of an aroused Tasuki, flushed and panting with need, was making his penis stir. Only when he realized he was being watched did he banish the image. //Stop thinking hentai thoughts and pay attention!// he told himself sternly. Now that he had noticed them, the bandits watching him from the old trees were easy to sense. Concentrating, Chichiri tried to find Tasuki's chi. He nearly laughed out loud when he found it so quickly. //It's almost as simple as concentrating on my own.// The brilliant flame that could only be Tasuki burned bright and strong. He frowned when he felt the briefest flicker of something unusual. When the feeling wasn't repeated Chichiri dismissed it, believing it to be nothing but his imagination.

He could tell Tasuki was up at the stronghold. He thought about using his kesa to just teleport there but thought better of it. //I need a bit more time to think. Although you would figure I've had more then enough time to think things through. I never intended to be gone so long, it's just....I couldn't come back to Tasuki without sifting through my emotions first.//

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A knock on the door roused Tasuki from his sleep. *This had better be good. Chiri ain't never done that in a dream before. At least they've learned ta knock first. I guess catching yer leader jacking off to thoughts of blue haired monks'll teach a guy anything.* Chuckling softly, thinking about that certain incident all those months ago Tasuki called out, "Yea, what is it?"

Li, his second in command, tentatively stepped into the room, wary green eyes sweeping over Tasuki, relief flickering across his features upon finding him fully clothed. "Ah, Genrou, some of the men have seen a blue haired guy with a stick and a funny hat walking this way." Shrugging, he finished with, "They wanted to know what to do, I mean, he doesn't look dangerous."

Hope flared in the bandit's soul, some of the fire coming back to his eyes. *He came back! That could only be Chiri! Maybe he hasn't realized I love him, maybe his trip really did just take longer then he said it would.* Tasuki took off, running out of his room and outside towards the trail, leaving a startled and confused young man blinking owlishly in his wake.

TBC

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